‘I had treated my body as a rental': Media personality Shelly Horton reveals life-changing health message to Australian women
Nor did she join the dots between a raft of sudden physical and mental changes – heart palpitations, increased body temperature, 'brain fog', and debilitating depression – and perimenopause.
The now 51-year-old says she'd never heard the word before, and instead was told by doctors that it might be cancer and was sent for an ultrasound.
'They said, 'Great news, you haven't got cancer. You must be stressed and maybe you should take up a hobby',' Horton tells Stellar.
'I drove home in tears, blaming myself, and didn't go and see another doctor for nine months.'
It wasn't until the TV presenter consulted with her friend, Dr. Ginny Mansberg, whom she met as a fellow panellist on Seven's Sunrise in 2008, that she was able to make sense of her suffering. Before that defining moment, she hadn't considered herself in the target market.
'I thought menopause was for women in their late 50s, their period stopped and they got hot flushes,' she explains.
'I had that stereotype in my brain of grey-haired old ladies clutching their pearls and fanning themselves.
'I was like, 'I'm a fox. I'm way too young and fabulous.'
'I didn't understand that perimenopause can last 10 years so, in fact, I was right in the average age group.'
Once she started to feel better, Horton got mad. Specifically about the menopause cone of silence which perpetuates the dearth of knowledge and poor treatment options for women. 'We've been taught by our mothers and past generations that it's just women's problems so you keep it to yourself,' she says.
'A heads-up would have been nice. I felt like the sisterhood let me down.
'Secret women's business holds women back. This whole 'soldier on' of the boomer generation, I'm like, 'No, I'm Gen X. We're going to get loud about this.''
In 2023, Horton shared her experience at the first parliamentary roundtable on menopause alongside respected experts – the first time 'menopause' had been mentioned in the Australian Parliament.
It sparked a Senate inquiry, with Horton inadvertently becoming a spokesperson on perimenopause.
It's not the first time Horton has led the charge on de-stigmatising taboo topics for women. When she 'bravely' wrote about her decision to stay 'child free' in 2013, she copped a pile-on from dissenters and was trolled on social media.
But she takes heart in knowing it started a national conversation.
'I had comments like, 'A woman who doesn't want kids is not a real woman. She's a waste of a uterus.' It was awful. I didn't understand why anyone cared about my uterus and what I did with it.'
As the TV presenter sees it, one of the many upsides of being child-free is having the freedom and funds to travel.
She and her husband, Darren Robinson, whom she met 'the old-fashioned way' in a bar in 2013, renew their wedding vows in every country they visit. In 10 years of marriage, that's 25 vow renewals.
'Sometimes it's been incredibly romantic in the Maldives with the sunset. Then we nearly forgot in Iceland and we did it on the plane as we were taking off,' she laughs.
They also run their production company together, Robinson behind the camera ('the workhorse') Horton in front ('the show pony').
She says their two rescue dogs were a salve during her three years of depression.
'My wonderful husband would put me to bed and hand me a puppy.'
Adhering to her motto of 'adapt or die', Horton's career trajectory has been 'eclectic'.
She was a producer for the first American Survivor in Borneo, a crime then health reporter for the ABC, Sydney gossip columnist, panellist on Today Extra, and host of Married at First Sight's spin-off TV show.
It's a long way from home for the girl from Kingaroy in regional Queensland.
'From the red soil to the red carpet,' she says. Now she can add author to the list, documenting her harrowing menopause experience – along with evidence-based advice from experts – on paper to support other women going through it.
Despite the turmoil of menopause, Horton reveals it has also helped her too. 'I wish I could just say, 'Slap on some HRT [hormone replacement therapy], you'll be fine', but it's not as simple as that,' she tells Stellar.
'I had to do the work. I had treated my body as a rental.
'I had to have the appointments with the psychiatrist. I had to change my lifestyle, improve my sleep, increase my exercise.
'I'm living proof that you can go through dark times and come out. Perimenopause broke me, but then I rebuilt me.'
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