A Lords' last supper for hereditary peers
Tears and tax talk in the Commons overshadowed class war at the other end of parliament, where an entitled Tory toffocracy in the Lords is about to play ping-pong with MPs. Peers frustrating government proposals to improve job rights are fighting to the last glass of port to save 92 hereditaries from the political guillotine. The grand Cholmondeley Room was booked for around £20,000, as one snout estimated, to feed and water revolting aristos and keep them on the premises ahead of a crucial division. It worked. The will of the refreshed 249 peers backing Tory-wannabe-Lords-leader Stephen Parkinson's amendment – 37 more than outgunned Labour could muster – will be overturned in the Commons, but the vote revealed self-interest is alive and kicking in Britain's stately homes.
A stranger to decisiveness when heading Labour, Jeremy Corbyn may or may not be about to co-lead the founding of a new party with whippersnapper Zarah Sultana. The project's certainly stirring up a frenzy among those on the left still mourning the end of his reign. Comrades loyal to the party that booted him out and suspended Sultana, however, are less enamoured. The independent MP for Islington North might once have been 'Magic Grandpa', but that isn't his only nickname: among Labour MPs, Corbyn is known as 'the Iranian ambassador'. No prizes for guessing why.
JD Vance fanboy David Lammy may prove to be the chief beneficiary of the lachrymose Chancellor of the Exchequer extracting a vote of confidence from Keir Starmer. Rachel Reeves would, if moved, be transferred to the Foreign Office, whispered a snout. She doesn't appear to be going anywhere at the moment. The sluggish economy is in a similar position, alas. Most ministers, including those concerned for their own posts, still expect Reeves to be out of the Treasury before the election after doing the tax-raising heavy lifting, enabling a fresh face to sell change and renewed optimism to punters. The first female Chancellor would be entitled to grimace should a man come in to reap the rewards of her dirty work.
Wes Streeting's ten-year NHS plan includes expanding access to weight-loss services, including 'fat jabs', which patients could access in shopping centres. The Health Secretary told LBC the treatment was the 'talk of the House of Commons tea rooms', revealing 'half my colleagues are on them and are judging the rest of us saying: 'You lot should be on them.'' He's not wrong. One waspish (and notably svelte) Spad mused: 'I'm surprised Wes isn't on Ozempic himself – he's vain enough.' Who'd have the stomach for another internal Labour beef, eh?
Speaking at an event about the return of class to British politics, Blue Labour godfather Maurice Glasman fulminated against what he labels the 'lanyard class' of progressive do-nothings who work from home and dictate how we should think and live. The audience, gathered in a university lecture hall, anxiously toyed with the lanyards around their necks. Some even mournfully removed their passes. They relaxed a little, though, when it turned out the Labour peer had one himself, his House of Lords ID card. Glasman is a paid member of the very class he derides.
He isn't an MP,but Andy Burnham continues to feature in many Westminster conversations. One Labour MP muttered that the more viewers see of the telegenic Greater Manchester Mayor on the box, the worse it is for monotone Starmer. A special adviser took issue with the King of the North moniker applied to Burnham, pointing out he isn't even King of the North-West when ex-brickie Steve Rotheram is rebuilding the Liverpool city region. Comrades wondered how a politician regularly accused of flip-flopping would handle the age old Devon-Cornwall rift over whether to put jam or cream on a scone first, after a cabinet minister declared south-west England would benefit from a Burnham-like champion. Andy, opined a sceptic, would endorse neither because the professional northerner would prefer gravy on his scones.
There are plenty of Oasis fans in the cabinet. Streeting and Lucy Powell both sang karaoke classics by the band at last year's Labour conference. But is Starmer among them? The Prime Minister curiously omitted Oasis when he recently tweeted about Manchester's musical greats ('Take That, Joy Division, New Order'). Was it something they said? Quite possibly. Noel Gallagher last year offered a tepid review of Starmer and declared that he would 'vote for Tony Blair in the morning if he was back in the game'. Don't look back in anger, Keir.
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Green Party peer Jenny Jones aka Baroness Jones of Moulsecoomb raised eyebrows by joining the Tory Lords' rebellion to save the hereditaries, keeping them in the upper house as lifers. The one-time eco warrior is besties with Tory chief whip Susan Williams, social media plastered with photos of the baronesses and their partners. One pic includes a Giants Head Marathon medal, which depicts the Dorset chalk figure and its giant penis. Unintentionally apt when she voted to retain an enlarged chamber.
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[See also: The insurgent left]
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