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Spectator
22-07-2025
- Spectator
Dogs have no place at my table
I love dogs. I love lunching. I love seeing dogs in restaurants where I'm lunching. But one thing I don't love one bit is a dog being brought to a luncheon which I'm participating in – and, most likely, paying for. Luncheons are for humans – not for our furry friends. Let's face it, it's not like they're particularly thrilled to be indoors while their owners indulge in a little light character assassination. They'd be having far more fun running around outside eating vomit and sniffing each other's bums. They can be big dogs, like the one belonging to my friend K. His gentle nature is swamped by the physical reality of him being the size of a small horse and taking up enough room for two people in a snug bistro. They can be small dogs, like the one N brought to an extremely expensive watering hole, who then attempted to hump my hand (he wasn't large enough to try it on with a leg) and had to be bought off with an eye-waveringly extortionate steak tartare. But what they all have in common is that they will render a pleasant repast into something of a sideshow. Maybe there exists a different social milieu to mine where dogs are simply brought out, given a biscuit from the jar on the bar and left to chew it quietly under the table, their presence not acknowledged until it's time to go home. I seem to recall my father treating Prince the Alsatian in such a manner. But with my cohort, dogs are like furry, daft smartphones. Their owner will never get over the wonder of them, and is forever checking them. I wouldn't like my guest to behave like this with a gadget, and certainly don't wish to tolerate it when that gadget has its nose up the waitress's skirt into the bargain. I remember the first time I went to Tel Aviv two decades ago and saw dogs everywhere in restaurants; I didn't associate my adored Jewish people with being big on dog-owning, and this seemed yet another wondrous aspect of how they had bloomed in their hot homeland. As I said at the start, I still like seeing them in restaurants if they're at other tables with other people. I just don't want them at mine – and I get that this may be partly selfish and self-adoring, as I wish to be the centre of attention. There's an old saying 'Never put two divas at the same table' – that goes for bitches, too. I've heard some good stories on this sticky subject: 'My friend's huge whippet constantly licks her and everything she touches. So when a few of us had a drink in my front garden the other day, as soon as he licked the glass she was pouring prosecco into, we all said in unison 'That's Jen's glass!'' 'I witnessed some dumb parents tying their dog's lead to their child's highchair in a cafe with the inevitable outcome – luckily the dog was unharmed.' 'I tied his lead to one of the legs of the table and ordered some beer. It arrived when a cat walked past. Dog and table set off in hot pursuit; rather than make a kerfuffle I just looked the waiter in the eye and asked 'Encore une bière s'il vous plaît.'' 'A friend met her husband after her lovely idiot of a rescue mutt scarfed his chips in a country pub garden. She replaced his meal, then he bought drinks for her and her friend… the dog went up the aisle with them.' 'My schnauzer makes a point of pooing in front of people dining al fresco; the sight of people enjoying a nice, pricey lunch in a pavement cafe seems to do something to his bowels. But it's not just eating. He once interrupted what was clearly a marriage proposal by assuming the classic 'weightlifter' pose and gifting the happy couple with a log. I said they should look on it as a blessing. She laughed; her intended, not so much.' 'Once in a gastropub we took our eyes off our beagle and all hell broke loose. He jumped up, crashed on to various tables and grabbed as much food as he could. Recently while walking him on Hampstead Heath while still on the lead, he bolted towards picnickers. Before we could pull him back he grabbed a bacon roll, a chicken salad wrap as well as several sausages.' 'I went on a date and during it realised I hadn't fed the dog, who was with me. So I ordered steak and chips and proceeded to sit him on the banquette and share it with him. Oddly I never heard from the date again.' But sometimes the dog is the diva: 'We were having a kid's birthday party in our garden and our dog Diva obviously had enough of screaming brats, headed up the side path and out of the house. I soon got a phone call from a bus driver asking could I come and get her; when I got there she was sitting on a seat, being spoiled rotten by all the old ladies on the bus. Diva indeed.' Dogs are lovely. They have beautiful natures – so enthusiastic. They are somewhat like me in that they resemble Brilliant Boy from The Fast Show – 'Look, a tree, isn't that brilliant!' They're so enchanting that if there's a dog present, despite my disapproval, I'll probably get distracted myself. If they're at my table, I'm probably going to pay it more attention than its owner. So for both our sakes, desist. I repeat: luncheons are for ladies – not for Lassies.
Evening Standard
18-07-2025
- Evening Standard
What, exactly, has Diane Abbott said that's so wrong?
Well, so there are. And Ms Abbott knows, because she's black. Few Jewish people and Travellers are. Of course, it may be apparent to some people who is Jewish or Traveller or who isn't. I, for instance, can usually tell who's a Traveller, but that's because I've been accustomed to seeing Travellers most of my life. As for Jews, many of my friends and colleagues who are Jewish don't look, at least to me, different. If you wear special clothes or hair – if you're an Orthodox Jew who dresses as such – you will be readily identifiable, but that's rather more to do with culture and religion than ethnicity, no?
BBC News
17-07-2025
- BBC News
School children given chance to learn about holocaust
School children in Cornwall are being given the chance to learn about the Holocaust from local people from the South West whose families died at the hands of the group Cornish Stories of Survival arranges for relatives of Holocaust victims to share their family Hollinsworth, who lives in Carbis Bay, said she was the daughter of a Holocaust survivor who lost close family members in the death said by talking to school children she is putting a human face to history. The Holocaust was a period in history at the time of World War Two (1939-1945), when millions of Jewish people, and people from other backgrounds, were murdered because of who they Hollinsworth said: "To hear something from someone who actually lives in Cornwall and has a personal connection to the Holocaust and is a human being who has hobbies like they have, and has grown up in a family in the UK, means so much more to them than reading something in a textbook." Bernie Graham, who lives in Plymouth, said he was also the son of survivors who lost many family said the need for tolerance was more important than ever with both Jewish and Muslim groups reporting rises in religious hate crimes following the Hamas attacks against Israel on 7 October 2023. 'Be kind' "People find it difficult to separate strong feelings to what is happening in Israel and Palestine from antisemitism," he said."I firmly believe there is a small minority of people who are using what is going on out there to promote their own antisemitic attitudes and I would say the same around islamophobia as well to use and abuse the situation to promote those kinds of intolerances."Mr Graham said that for him the main lesson of the Holocaust is to remember our shared said: "It's about being kind respectful, not differentiating between race and sex. "People are people - be kind, be compassionate."
