Elon Musk and Nick Cannon each have a dozen kids. But only one is a 'deadbeat dad.'
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There are double standards in this country that leave me baffled. Let's play compare and contrast on the subject of fatherhood.
We'll start with 'Wild 'n Out' star Nick Cannon.
When he welcomed his 12th child with six women, he was called irresponsible. The criticism didn't stop there: Some suggested he was creating generational trauma for his children; a relationship expert implied that women choosing to have kids with Cannon might be mentally unstable; and he was even labeled a 'deadbeat dad.'
If the criticism aimed at Cannon is valid, then the same scrutiny should be directed at a 53-year-old man who has 12, maybe 13, children, with four women, right?
Well, that's where the double standard rears its ugly head. Cannon is Black, while the individual who may have had his 13th child is Elon Musk, the tech mogul who heads the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). By contrast, Musk, who is white, has been called the smartest man in America and celebrated for his views on reversing declining birth rates by having more children.
I say may have 13 because the SpaceX CEO has not confirmed he is the father of the child. Neither Cannon nor Musk are currently married.
Cannon, who also co-hosts the "The Masked Singer," has only been married once – to superstar singer Mariah Carey. The couple were married from 2008 to 2016 and share twins.
Musk has been married three times but to two women: Justine Wilson from 2000 to 2008 and Talulah Riley from 2010-12 and again from 2013 to 2016.
There's an age-old saying about creating families: 'It takes two to tango.' However, seeing some men often engage in this dance with numerous partners is disheartening. My aim here is not to focus on the children who are innocent in this scenario. Instead, I want to examine the troubling double standard that permeates our society, particularly regarding how Black men and white men are perceived as fathers.
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Society views Musk, Cannon's ability to be fathers to multiple kids differently
Every child is a treasure, but neglecting quality time for their development can lead to resentment as they grow older.
While it is vital to support children financially – and both men have the means to do so – it is equally, if not more, important to support them emotionally and mentally. This is challenging enough for children living under the same roof, let alone different households.
When someone has a dozen or more children with multiple partners, providing each child with the quality time they need becomes nearly impossible. This holds true regardless of one's wealth or fame.
However, when we compare figures like Cannon and Musk, a double standard appears in how society views them.
Cannon is labeled a 'deadbeat," with some questioning his mental stability for fathering so many children. By contrast, Musk is celebrated as 'brilliant" and earned praise for his 'pronatalist' views that population decline needs to be reversed by having more children.
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Social media posts illustrate the double standard
The double standard isn't limited to perceptions of the men's ability to be fathers; it extends to how they became fathers.
On Valentine's Day, Ashley St. Clair, who has a son from a previous relationship, took to social media to share details about her new child with Musk. If accurate, this would mark his 13th known child.
Musk has not publicly confirmed that he is the father. However, he has responded to several posts on his X platform regarding the baby, including one that claims St. Clair tried to 'ensnare' him. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if Cannon had suggested a woman was trying to ensnare or trap him, he would have faced significant public backlash.
St. Clair made the Valentine's Day post because she stated that she had been raising the couple's five-month-old baby alone in his absence and felt compelled to come forward after reporters asked questions.
In one of the X posts, Greg Price replied to St. Clair: 'He's got a kid with a woman already. Seems unlikely to work out."
St. Clair responded to Price: "Well, he actually has 7 kids and goes through women pretty fast" (with a laughing face emoji).
Most of the criticism on X was directed at the mothers of his children. Here are some of the things they had to say:
'I mean…Men with Money = Women that want it do anything to get it.' – Christos Katsaros
'That girl knows how to hustle.' – Ace
'Ashley St Clair, the CEO of long-term planning.' ‒ batu
'Reminder that there is no need for you to ever pursue a woman. If it's meant to be she will orchestrate it.' – cold
'Wow, she actually thought he'd wife her up instead of just cutting her a check and moving on.' – johann von schnitzel
One comment supporting Cannon, who claims he has bought houses for all his children's mothers, stood out:
'I don't ever want to hear negative talk about @NickCannon, so called fatherless black homes, or any black athlete with multiple baby moms and kids.' – The Fighting Carrier
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On Feb. 20, another of Musk's children's mothers criticized him on X, stating he needs to assist with their child's medical care.
Claire Boucher, 36, who has three children with Musk, posted, 'Plz respond about our child's medical crisis.' Boucher, a musical artist known as Grimes, wrote: 'I am sorry to address this publicly but it is no longer acceptable to ignore this situation. This requires immediate attention.'
She added, 'If you don't want to talk to me can you please designate or hire someone who can so that we can move forward on solving this. This is urgent, Elon.'
She has since deleted the posts.
Stereotypes portray Black men as deadbeat dads
Some people watch Black fathers more closely based on the stereotype that they are not involved in their children's lives.
This stereotype often appears in media, stand-up comedy and movies, where Black fathers are often the target of jokes about being deadbeat dads.
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This shapes public perception and reinforces damaging narratives, overshadowing the many committed Black fathers actively involved in their children's lives.
I was not married to my daughter's mother but was involved in many of my daughter's school and extracurricular activities. I did all the girl dad things from going to the soccer games in the rain, taking her on driving lessons to treasuring times dancing the night away at the Daddy Daughter dances. Some of my friends who aren't married are also excellent and active fathers to their children.
Raising a dozen or more children from multiple women is a challenge for any man, regardless of race or wealth. Cannon and Musk may have 25 children by 10 women, both are wealthy and are well-known figures.
Yet Cannon has faced accusations of being insane and irresponsible. In contrast, Musk is seen as a visionary for promoting having many children because he believes the world's population will shrink to 'one-tenth of its current size' in three generations.
This lines up with the perspective on many in the Trump administration, including Vice President JD Vance and Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. I guess Musk, the world's wealthiest man, is just doing his part.
Both men probably pay millions in child support, but beyond that, we can assume they have missed many of their children's memorable moments, such as their first steps, scoring a winning basket or giving a speech at school.
Money can't purchase those moments, and it's a common issue both fathers encounter equally, regardless of race. Yet despite sharing that universal bond, society portrays the men drastically different.
James E. Causey is an Ideas Lab reporter at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, where this column originally appeared. Reach him at jcausey@jrn.com or follow him on X: @jecausey
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