Tennessee cardiologist opens up about the silent grief doctors carry after every patient loss: 'I cry'

Hindustan Times

25-05-2025

Doctors are often seen as composed professionals, trained to remain calm and collected even in life-and-death situations. But what happens when a doctor loses a patient despite doing everything possible to save them? A deeply emotional Instagram post by a Tennessee-based cardiologist has gone viral, lifting the veil on a rarely discussed topic—how doctors cope when a patient dies.
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In a short but powerful video posted to Instagram, Dr Dmitry Yaranov—a cardiologist whose LinkedIn profile states he practises in Tennessee—stands quietly, his face filled with grief, while sombre music plays in the background. Text across the screen reads: 'What happens after losing a patient—no one prepares you for that.'
In the caption, Dr Yaranov shares the internal devastation such losses bring.
'Truth—it took me 16 years in medicine to say this out loud. I step out of the room. Give a quiet nod to the nurse. Then walk into the next room—like I didn't just lose someone I was fighting to save. But later—when no one's watching—I fall apart. In my car. In the call room. Sometimes in the supply closet,' he wrote.
'I cry. I go over every detail. I blame myself. I blame the system. I wonder if I missed something. If I'm still good enough. If I ever was. And I carry that loss—not just in my mind, but in my body. In my chest. My gut. Quietly. I don't get over it. I just keep showing up. Because I care. Because I still do. No one tells you this about the job. You don't just carry a stethoscope. You carry ghosts.'
Take a look here at the post:
A post shared by Dmitry Yaranov, MD | Cardiologist 🫀 (@heart_transplant_doc)
The video has garnered over 12 million views and thousands of comments—many from fellow healthcare workers and patients alike—expressing gratitude, empathy and heartbreak.
One user wrote, 'This is the most vulnerable and honest post I've seen from a doctor. Thank you.' Another shared, 'As a nurse, I've seen this pain. You're not alone.' A third user commented, 'You don't just carry ghosts… you carry love. And it shows.'
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Others opened up about their own experiences: 'My father passed last year. The doctor cried after breaking the news. I'll never forget that.' Another said, 'This brought me to tears. Thank you for speaking for so many.'
One healthcare professional responded, 'This is why burnout is real. We carry so much but are told to just move on.' Another wrote, 'You're still good enough. You always were.'