Experts Say The 'Yes You Can' TikTok Trend Can Lead to Grooming— What Parents Need to Know

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14-06-2025

A new concerning TikTok trend called "Yes You Can" appears to promote girl empowerment—but experts warn it may actually lead to grooming.
Teens are posting suggestive videos of themselves using a viral audio clip to encourage risky behavior.
Experts warn that this trend exploits teens and could expose them to predators and long-term emotional harm.Parents of young girls are raising red flags about the "Yes You Can" trend popping up on TikTok. In fact, one mom is urging parents to stop scrolling and pay attention. She says that while the posts are disguised as girl empowerment, they are actually something much more sinister—and the mental health professionals we spoke with agree.
"The 'Yes You Can' trend is sophisticated digital grooming disguised as girl empowerment," says Noelani Sagapolutele, LCSW, founder of Waʻa Collective and school social worker with the Hawaiʻi State Department of Education. "It uses affirming 'yes you can' language to normalize dangerous behaviors like sneaking out at 2 a.m. to meet older males, getting into strangers' cars, sending inappropriate photos, and dismissing parental guidance."
Here's what you need to know about this new TikTok trend and what you can do about it.
Teens on TikTok are using a viral audio clip of a song with the lyrics "Yes you can," while mostly girls add text overlays with variations like "I can't date a 2007," implying that someone else is saying the person born in that year is too young for them to date. The teen then lip syncs "yes you can" and nods along in the video, as if pushing back against objection. Some of the birth years shown are as recent as 2012—suggesting, alarmingly, that it's OK to date someone as young as 13.
These videos are meant encourage others to push boundaries, says Tessa Stuckey, MA, LPC, a therapist and author of For the Sake of Our Youth. "But dangerously blur the lines between confidence and recklessness. It's unclear where [this trend] started, but like many trends, it spread quickly through viral soundbites and peer mimicry."
The 'Yes You Can' trend also brings a high level of risk, including the possibility of online sexual solicitation, says Diane Lampkins, LSW, child abuse prevention coordinator at The Center for Family Safety and Healing at Nationwide Children's Hospital.
"Any time there is a campaign aimed at glamorizing risky behaviors that confuses [a young person's] gut instinct in a truth-or-dare...fashion, we should be concerned," says Lampkins. "Young people may have difficulty assessing the danger or risk of a challenge, especially if they see a friend posting, or reposting, similar content."
Plus, it weaponizes empowerment language to bypass teens' natural safety instincts, says Sagapolutele. When girls hear these messages, their developing brains process this as validation, rather than recognizing it as grooming, she says.
These videos may also unknowingly exposing young girls to predators or adults with nefarious intentions. One concerned TikToker highlighted how adults are following this content—and even commenting on it.
"Many of those strangers aren't just scrolling—they're actively seeking out content featuring young girls," says Anamara Ritt-Olson, PhD, an associate professor in the Department of Health, Society, & Behavior at UC Irvine's Joe C. Wen School of Population & Public Health. "Some leave inappropriate comments or save the videos to share elsewhere. Even when kids think they're just having fun, their posts can attract dangerous attention from adults with harmful intentions, turning a seemingly innocent trend into a serious safety risk."
Experts say these comments and encouragement are a form of grooming. "This aligns perfectly with documented grooming patterns where predators give children the illusion of control while manipulating them toward exploitation," says Sagapolutele. "It's 'reverse psychology' grooming at scale."
According to Sagapolutele, modern grooming tactics increasingly exploit tweens' and teens' natural desire for empowerment and independence, making dangerous behaviors appear as expressions of personal agency and maturity. "The trend helps identify vulnerable targets, normalizes risky interactions with older individuals, and creates communities where boundary-pushing behavior is celebrated.""The trend helps identify vulnerable targets, normalizes risky interactions with older individuals, and creates communities where boundary-pushing behavior is celebrated."Like all adolescents, young girls crave belonging and identity, says Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, an integrative trauma specialist and founder of Cannectd Wellness. In a digital world where likes and views are seen as validation, trends like this prey on that need, she says.
"Participating may feel like empowerment to them because they are in charge of doing something 'adult-like' and independent, exerting their female self," says Kaplan. "But in reality, it's often masking deeper feelings of powerlessness, and a need for acknowledgment that they are worthy of connection."
This can create a false sense of belonging and lead to a sense of worthiness, says Kaplan. Meanwhile, if their peers are challenging them with 'Yes You Can' posts, young girls may feel pressured to prove their independence or maturity by doing things that could lead to trauma, exploitation, or long-term mental health consequences, adds Stuckey. "It glorifies rebellion while ignoring real-world safety and emotional fallout."
Once it is all said and done, they may suffer psychologically, even if they remain safe from physical harm, says Kaplan. "In the aftermath of posting their risky behaviors, they may experience shame, confusion around self-identity, and disorientation around self-boundaries, and trust in self and others."
Trends like these accelerate unsafe behaviors, create digital footprints that can haunt kids later, and open the door to predators, says Stuckey. There needs to be stronger platform moderation and proactive digital literacy education at home and in schools. She offers these tips for navigating TikTok and its tendency toward dangerous trends and challenges:
Start with curiosity. Ask your child what they've seen, how it makes them feel, and if they've ever felt pressured to join in.
Explain how predators use trends. Help them understand that not everyone online has good intentions—and that grooming often starts through 'harmless' encouragement.
Keep devices in shared spaces. Avoid total surveillance, but promote transparency and device-free zones.
Model healthy digital behavior. Have open conversations explaining why you set boundaries and how you use your devices intentionally.
Reinforce their real worth. Praise their critical thinking, empathy, and courage to reject unhealthy trends.
Teach your child the three-second rule. If something makes them pause, feel weird, or question it, don't engage—close the app and talk to someone about it.
Keep the conversation going. It's not one big 'talk,' but many small ones.
Teach them what true empowerment looks like. Empowerment comes from self-worth, safety, and strong values. Girls are more likely to reject toxic trends when they know what authentic empowerment looks like.
"There's a crucial difference between 'Yes You Can' and 'Yes You Should,'" she says. "This trend teaches girls to equate capability with decision-making—but real empowerment is about knowing when to say no, even when you technically can say yes."
Keeping kids safe on TikTok requires a comprehensive approach, says Sagapolutele. Use the platform's Family Pairing features, including daily screen time limits, Restricted Mode content filtering, automatic direct message controls for users 13 to 15, and privacy settings that default to private accounts for users under 16.
She also suggests combining these technical solutions with ongoing communication."Look for specific behavioral warning signs, including sudden secrecy about online activities, mood changes after device use, sleep disruption, declining academic performance, and withdrawal from family activities. For content red flags, recognize that dangerous trends now include empowerment-disguised content that appears positive but encourages risky behavior."
Also, focus on maintaining open communication where your teen feels safe sharing their online experiences; and create a family media plan that ensures social media doesn't crowd out essential activities like sleep, physical activity, and face-to-face relationships, says Sagapolutele.
"Most importantly, help teens understand that their developing brains make them particularly vulnerable to manipulative content, and that asking for guidance shows strength, not weakness," she says. "The key message I want parents to understand is that this isn't just another 'dangerous challenge'. It's a sophisticated form of manipulation."If your child has TikTok, be aware that the app's algorithms can lead to potentially inappropriate or harmful content. Our experts recommend watching out for things like:
Trends or challenges encouraging risky behaviors
Ingestion challenges
Stunts and pranks
Scams and fraud
Misinformation
Concerning phrases
Suggestive hashtags
Cyberbullying
Adults interacting with kids
Disordered or restrictive eating content
Swearing
Sexual content
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