Wind turbines in our gardens? Miliband has finally lost the plot
Then Labour got in and he was made Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change, which meant that the 55-year-old was able to bring his frothy, zany and over-excitable self to a multi-billion-pound tiller; there's the £8.3 billion for the new state-owned GB Energy firm among various other squillions.
And it means, when he's not banging the drum for the EV cars or heat pumps that no one wants or can afford, he squarks and – literally – sings (very badly) about wind power.
His latest cunning plan being for people to erect wind turbines in their gardens. This is quite bold and brazen even for Miliband. Wind turbines are the vast steel, fiberglass, iron, copper, aluminium and concrete weapons of scenic destruction that have been popping up to fester in all their hideousness across our cherished isle. And many communities have managed to ward them off.
Where I used to live in south Northamptonshire, for example, a scheme emerged for a flock of unseemly turbines to litter the horizon above the quaint village of nearby Helmdon, a place frequently wet but definitely not very windy.
When the scheme was mooted, objecting seemed a fruitless task to most of us. But a few diligently went about doing their best and amazingly managed to defeat the plans. The landowner then went around sheepishly saying he'd never really wanted them anyway and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Until the following week when HS2 was announced and we sold up and moved to near Exmoor, where more wind turbines were mooted.
Fortunately, the Exmoor National Park Authority's passion for conservation means large-scale wind farms don't quite fit the bill. But eagle-eyed Miliband has a way around that. If he can't get massive farms built then he, rather aptly, will see his way to a scattering of more diminutive erections across the country. Which means in your field, or your garden.
This week, he announced a consultation on relaxing planning rules that govern the construction of turbines on residential and commercial properties. And when someone like Miliband or Angela Rayner use the word 'relax', what that means is they will ignore, or ride roughshod over local objections. Which, for communities, is very far from relaxing.
'Every turbine we build helps protect families, businesses and the public finances from future fossil fuel shocks,' Miliband said this week, adding: 'As part of this, we will consult on how permitted development rights can support the rollout of small-scale onshore wind.'
So the prospect is that while your local council will deny you planning for your cute new conservatory, roof terrace or garden room, what the Government will consent to is a vast wind turbine plonked where your neighbour used to grow cabbages.
As Andrew Bowie, the shadow energy spokesman, said this week, Miliband is 'trying to turn the nation's suburbs into a giant wind farm'.
And it is this kind of random, unfettered construction that ruins the look and feel of Britain. You can also be sure that these huge structures (whose low hum will keep you awake and whose blades, if they ever turn, will kill birds) will cost a pretty penny. It means that those who can afford them will make huge energy savings as they generate electricity for their own consumption while selling the excess to the National Grid.
The issue would prove hugely divisive for communities. However, we can take heart in that Miliband's announcement comes in the same week that Health Secretary Wes Streeting said that Britain will be 'fat free' by 2035. It may not be the silly season yet but there's certainly a lot of scorchingly hot air.
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