Paul Ready: ‘ I wanted to be a tennis player – but I was crap'
My parents' mantra was 'do what makes you happy if you can'. They didn't push my three siblings and me to be academic. Our home was beautifully relaxed. Behaving well and being nice was drilled into us. And we could throw a party and they would stay out of the way.
During a play at the Royal Court, my brain mistook the adrenaline going through my body for panic and I had serious stage fright. Now I do breathing exercises and tell myself there are times we need adrenaline to be ready and alert. It's nothing to be afraid of.
From the age of seven until 15, I wanted to be a tennis player – but I was crap. What I was missing was someone knowledgable telling me how to improve. In youth theatre, self-discipline was encouraged and our teacher told us what we needed to know about becoming an actor.
Drama school taught me to take an interest in life when you're not working. Watch what's happening in the world, read history, read psychology. Bring that understanding to your roles.
My wife [actor Michelle Terry] and I respect what the other does. Her brain is a superpower. She has fast, extroverted thinking, whereas I'm an introverted thinker. Once we figured out the difference, I wasn't as intimidated by her process, and she wasn't as confused by mine.
I'm in denial, but I probably am like Kevin [Ready's hapless character in Motherland]. On holiday with my family in Center Parcs I got caught in the Wild Water Rapids and couldn't get up. A group of people was watching me struggle, saying, 'There's that guy from Motherland.'
Once, I was in a soft-play ball pit with my daughter when she was a toddler. This dad, with a slightly crazed look in his eye, held on to the netting next to me with both hands, looked in and said, 'I'm Kevin.' I had sympathy.
Skiing nearly killed me. It was my first time on a harder run. Within a matter of minutes I'd gone off-piste and ended up throwing myself to the ground, looking over a sheer drop. I'm 90% sure I wouldn't have survived the fall. I wasn't injured, but there was a lot of swearing.
My fear of ageing is more about life disappearing – but I find that valuable. The paradox is to be more present, more grateful – then it becomes a gift. I've taken loads for granted, but the older I get, the more precious life feels to me.
I opened the door to a small sauna in a hotel in Santa Monica and a very naked Harvey Keitel was there. I stood in the doorway like: 'Is this cool?' I was allowed to sit down. No conversation – I just let him stretch out. I'm unsure if I was starstruck or just struck.
'He bished, he bashed, he boshed.' That'll do for my headstone. I'd love my kid to remember me as a good dad, and to be remembered as a brilliant actor, but part of me is happy to be forgotten. Let's not worry about that.
Paul Ready is in Three Sisters at the Sam Wanamaker Playhouse, Shakespeare's Globe until 19 April (shakespearesglobe.com)
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Press and Journal
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Her husband died from a brain tumour, so Ashley Wilson left Aberdeen to grieve
Ashley Wilson is trying to rediscover who she is. But don't for a minute think this plain-speaking Aberdonian has gone all spiritual. 'I don't want affirmations, I don't want meditations,' she says, laughing. 'I don't want, you know, energy healing. I don't want that — cut the bullshit. I don't want no fluff. Those things are not what I need.' But what does she need? Two years on from the death of her husband Kevin from a brain tumour that left an aching, agonising black hole in her life, Ashley, 51, finds herself still grappling with that question. Currently, she is somewhere in The Americas (she doesn't want me to reveal exactly where, but more on that later), and is speaking on a video call from a hotel room. She's travelling the region with one of her sons, and they have lots planned. Beaches, sunshine — Ashley recently spent a day on a photography course. 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Over three decades, they built a home and raised three children together — Ashley also helped raise Kevin's son from a previous relationship. Meanwhile, they weathered the challenges of a career that often took Kevin overseas for long stretches. Then, on July 11, 2022, a number flashed up on Ashley's phone. It was from Iraq, where Kevin was based. He had been found unresponsive in his villa. Ashley flew out the next day and accompanied him on a medevac flight to Dubai. To her shock, Kevin was awake when she arrived. 'He was drugged up, but calm. Relaxed. So happy to see me. He kept touching my face and saying, 'You're here. You're here'.' To this day, one of Ashley's most vivid memories of Kevin is the look on his face when he realised she was beside him. They spent three weeks in a Dubai hospital, where doctors initially suspected encephalitis — swelling of the brain. Back home in Aberdeen by August, Ashley struggled to get anyone to take his head scans seriously. It wasn't until she pushed hard for an MRI that the truth came out. Kevin was diagnosed with grade 4 glioblastoma — the most aggressive form of brain cancer. In the months that followed, Kevin refused to let his condition defeat him. 'He took it better than I did,' Ashley remembers. 'I was devastated, I was in bits. But Kevin was just so calm. He said, 'Well, what's next? What do we do now?'' He underwent radiotherapy and chemotherapy, while also spending as much time as he could with his family. He took part in Brave, the Friends of Anchor charity fashion show in which men with cancer diagnoses take to the catwalk to raise much-needed funds for cancer support. Kevin's original goal was to raise £50,000 though his own JustGiving page. But the fundraiser quickly took on a life of its own. Donations poured in from around the world — from friends, colleagues and strangers who had been touched by Kevin's story. By the time the page closed, it had reached more than £116,000 — a record-breaking total for the charity. Kevin made it to the Brave catwalk, but he was noticeably weaker. It was May, almost a year since his diagnosis, and in the weeks that followed, his decline accelerated. By early July, doctors told the family there was nothing more they could do. At the age of 51, Kevin was admitted to Aberdeen's palliative care facility, Roxburghe House, where he died on July 22, 2023, surrounded by Ashley and their children. 'It was the worst thing I've ever experienced,' Ashley says, 'but also kind of beautiful. We were all with him. He wasn't in pain. He was ready. But he knew we were there, I know he did.' The pain that followed was unlike anything Ashley could have imagined. 'Grief is a really dark place to be,' she says. Part of the problem was the void Kevin's death had left in Ashley's life, his sudden and raw absence. She says the silence was so loud she couldn't think straight. So, earlier this year, Ashley packed her bags and left Aberdeen. 'No matter what I did — walk the dog, go to the shops, whatever — he just wasn't there,' she explains. 'And it doesn't matter how much you want it — you want it so bad that he's back — you just have to find a way. 'And that's why I'm at this side of the world, trying to find a way.' Ashley knows that travel alone won't heal her. But her time away has brought unexpected gifts. She's learning Spanish, she's meeting strangers who know nothing of her past and she's having conversations about family, politics, football and life. Most importantly, she's discovered the freedom that comes with no one knowing where she is — which is why she's keeping her exact location under wraps. 'I don't have to check in, I don't have to ask and I don't have to get permission. It's very liberating,' she says. The grief hasn't gone. Kevin is always with her — in memory, in conversation and in quiet moments of stillness. Even when she tries to fill her day with new experiences, the past can still come rushing in. The photography class she took was on the second anniversary of Kevin's death. She admits it might not have been the best idea. 'I was just in survival mode, really,' she says. But there have been one or two milestones; landmarks that tell Ashley she is moving forward. 'I've barely laughed,' she says. 'I've barely laughed to the point that I've almost forgotten how. But now I'm laughing again — properly laughing.' What's more, she's able to laugh without guilt – something many people living with grief struggle to do. For that, she's got Kevin to thank. 'I remember Kevin saying, on his deathbed, 'Go and live your life. Remember, it's short.' And that's what's stuck with me.'
