I am not the same person I was 30 years ago: Mandira Bedi

Time of India

04-07-2025

The actress talks about coping with life after losing her husband, Raj Kaushal four years ago
Mandira Bedi
has been a familiar face for over three decades – as an actor, presenter and fitness advocate. But behind her public persona, she has long focused on something more personal and less visible: her mental health.
'Sometimes it is easy to open up to a third person as there are no Judgements'
Talking about how mental health has been an important part of her life, Mandira says, 'The first time I went for therapy was 18 years ago. When I told my mom about it, she was aghast and didn't understand the need because it has always been a taboo subject. It exists even now... very few people talk about it.'
She adds, 'Friends and family are always there to listen, but sometimes a qualified person, who is unbiased and honest, is required to help you deal with the emotions.
Sometimes it is easy to open up to a third person, as there are no judgments.'
'There were a lot of times when I did not like myself'
Over the years, Mandira made mental health a priority. 'Mental health has been something that I've not put on the back burner, but on the front burner. It's important to me. There were many times I didn't like myself. I was negative and very tough on myself. I discovered self-love only recently. And now that I have, I protect it. I wake up every morning with the intent to be happy.
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I protect my peace,' she shares.
'It's not like I don't miss Raj, but I've processed it over a period of time'
After losing her husband
Raj Kaushal
in 2021, Mandira allowed herself the space and time to grieve. Only now does she speak openly about how therapy and emotional work helped her heal. She says, 'I lost my husband four years ago, and I would not talk about it because I was not ready back then. Now, I can have a conversation and say that I had to feel to process that grief. There is no shortcut when it comes to grief, there's no quick fix.
It's not like I don't miss him, but I've processed it over a period of time.
'
She remembers the early days of loss vividly. 'I remember when it happened, I kept asking myself, how long am I going to feel like this? It's like the tectonic plates under my feet have shifted. The first year was particularly hard. The first of everything... my birthday, his birthday, the first anniversary, Christmas, Diwali, New Year... they are shattering.
Your heart breaks into a million pieces. But the second time gets a little bit easier because you've dealt with that first year.
'
'I've taught my kids to talk to a therapist whenever something feels off'
As a single parent to Vir and Tara, she's made mental health a part of her children's lives as well. 'Vir needed therapy after Raj, and he needed to speak to somebody who was not his parent. I understood that. I got him the counselling that he needed. I've instilled in both my kids that whenever there's something that you're feeling, some sort of unrest, we have a therapist we call and we speak to.'
'I had so much anger in me and used to lash out often'
Mandira's reflections also touch on personal growth. 'I had so much anger in me and used to lash out often. But when I had awareness of that, I worked on it. I've worked hard on myself and I've come a long way. It's been a long journey and I've benefited so much from working on myself. I'm not the same person I was when I began in this industry 30 years ago – I've grown and changed in many ways.'