This ‘dating hack' is going viral on TikTok. It's called 'sticky eyes' and it actually works.
Is there a surefire way to get any person to flirt with you? This TikToker thinks so − and her method for it is going viral.
The tactic is called "sticky eyes" and Chelsea Anderson, a TikToker and self-described "professional life hacker," breaks it down in a video with over 6.7 million views and 800,000 likes.
The first step, she explains, is to make eye contact with the person you're interested in. As soon as you make that eye contact, you "look away, like you've been caught."
This, she says, will make the person intrigued and, honestly, a little confused. Then, you go in for the kill.
"The next time that you look at them and they meet your eyes again, don't look away. Let them break first," Anderson says. "Once you look away, you never look at them again. And, in about 45 seconds, they will be right in front of you, as if they had been summoned psychically by you."
Anderson swears by this method and warns people to use it wisely and responsibly, as it's easy to accidentally sticky eyes someone you didn't mean to while trying it out.
So, is there any truth to this? Yes, quite a lot, actually. Dating experts say "sticky eyes" − which isn't actually all that new − is a great way to signal openness and interest to a stranger at a bar, party or other social setting. They add, however, that the method does come with some important caveats.
"The TikTok explaining 'sticky eyes' is essentially repackaging a classic flirting technique − combining different types of eye contact to signal romantic interest," says Amy Chan, a dating coach who hosts breakup retreats and dating boot camps. She adds that "sticky eyes," as well as other nonverbal cues that signal interest to potential partners, encompass a practice she calls "greenlighting," which she writes about at length in her book "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart."
More: She applied to Harvard as a joke and got waitlisted. Now she's championing 'rejection therapy.'
The effectiveness of sticky eyes also says a lot about us. Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and the author of "F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story," says it's indicative of "the communication crisis" we're currently in: We are in constant communication with each other thanks to technology, yet we don't connect as meaningfully, she says.
How to do 'sticky eyes' for real
Eye contact has always been a powerful aspect of dating and attraction − yet, it's a skill that's taken a backseat to sliding in the DMs (For those not obsessively online, that means sending someone a direct message, usually on social media).
Anderson tells USA TODAY she came up with sticky eyes while playing a game of "dare or dare" with friends, where they'd challenge each other to harmless stunts. One of those stunts was holding eye contact with a stranger. While doing it, "sticky eyes," Anderson says, was born.
"I also think a lot of people found the whole concept hilarious — or a bit ridiculous — because it's essentially eye contact, and I joked about inventing it," Anderson says about her video's virality.
Eye contact doesn't just signal interest in someone and give them the green light to hit on you; it also makes you more attractive. Chan says that "prolonged eye contact can make someone appear more likable, confident and charismatic."
"It's not necessarily the most attractive person who gets approached," she adds. "It's the one who signals they're open to connection."
I searched the country for a Valentine: Here's who I picked.
According to Hoffman, the digital age has made true eye contact even more effective when done correctly.
"In a world in which people's eyes are often glued to their phones, eye contact holds even more weight," she says. "It's hard enough to catch someone's eye contact today but to be persistent about maintaining eye contact is even more rare and will really make you stand out from the crowd."
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
It's also something equally important for everyone, regardless of gender. Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men and the creator of the flirting course Approach Academy, says she tells her clients all the time to look for eye contact first when trying to meet women open to conversation.
There are, of course, ways for sticky eyes to go wrong. Anderson warns that staring intently at someone with a cold expression could make them uneasy at the least and creeped out at the worst. To avoid this, she says, make sure your eye contact is accompanied by a soft smile.
"You don't want to be just directly staring at someone if you look unhappy," Anderson says. "That goes for both men and women, so it is apparent that it is friendly and positive."
More: People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What the 'sticky eyes' phenomenon says about us
Ultimately, experts say the fact that something as simple and obvious as eye contact has gone viral as a "dating hack" says a lot about what modern dating has come to.
To Chan, it shows just how far in-person social skills have regressed since the pandemic. It also shows the toll dating apps have taken on singles' ability to connect with each other in real life.
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'? It might be why you're still single.
Chan encourages people to remember that a lot more goes into dating and building attraction than just sticky eyes. She also says daters should stay mindful of not just their eye contact, but their body language overall: Uncrossing your arms, tilting your head slightly, touching the other person's forearm and positioning yourself so your feet point in their direction all also signal interest, availability and curiosity.
"Remember, whether you use sticky eyes or some combination of eye gaze, use it as an opener, not the whole strategy," Chan says. "Genuine connection requires conversation and engagement beyond just eye contact."
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