'In combat mode' - Irish veteran's life after Ukraine war

RTÉ News​

19 hours ago

Peter's first near death experience got him used to the idea that, from now on, it was going to be a regular occurrence.
The Irish man had been monitoring Russian troop movements just east of Bakhmut with the Ukrainian Army when his team were called in to reinforce a platoon of Ukrainian soldiers.
But Russia launched a massive assault on the area and within hours, Peter and his colleagues were surrounded.
"There was no relief or help coming. We were completely isolated," he said.
"As a group... how do you react to such a situation? Ok, we're done here. Ok, what are our options? Take as many of them out as we can before we die and hope for the best," said Peter.
As a last stand, they fought until sunset and made one gamble to get out.
"We had a small escape route that we hoped the Russians weren't aware of.
"We went along that escape route and managed to get out of the position we were in... we were targeted by drones and arterially," Peter said.
He added: "Then we were attacked from the flank by Russian infantry but eventually we fought our way out.
"That was the first day I was over there, and I was like 'we're not getting out of this'.
"After that day, to go back into combat knowing that's the reality of it… It's literally you could lose your life any day over there," he said.
Peter isn't his real name. The Irish man, in his late 30s from the south of the country, said he isn't comfortable revealing his identity yet, as he continues to come to terms with this short but significant part of his life.
"I went into the situation knowing the full risks involved. I didn't go over there naively. I knew when I left Ireland, I knew there was a very good chance I was not going to come back alive," he said.
Peter said he decided to go to Ukraine shortly after the Russian invasion began in February 2022.
He said he understood, what he called, the "seriousness" of the situation and wanted to help defend Kyiv to hold out for possible intervention from NATO or other western countries.
"My understanding was if the capital fell, the whole country would capitulate to Russian rule," he said.
His family knew "roughly" what he was doing, but not the details. Here are some of those details.
As unusual as it may seem, Peter said he took a taxi to the nearest recruitment centre he could find so he could sign up to the Ukrainian Army.
His skills as a former member of the Irish Defence Forces were welcomed.
Peter's first months were spent defending Kyiv, but as Russia's failure to take the capital became more apparent, he was redeployed, initially to Kharkiv in the east.
By late summer, he spent most of his time in combat in Donetsk as well as being involved in the Kharkiv counter offensive that September.
As a special forces operative within the Ukrainian Army, his team were brought in to identify Russian positions and storm areas to find weak points.
It could also mean helping trapped Ukrainian soldiers, recovering wounded colleagues or retrieving dead bodies.
"Days were chaotic to say the least and there was very little routine over there. However, when you're in not in combat every day starts the same.
"You get up, you cook breakfast for the guys and your team and usually if you're preparing not to go into combat you would spend the day training.
"There was no real rest period. We were a reactive unit, so we were usually on standby, and we were sent into difficult situations or areas that needed reinforcement," he said.
The Battle of Bakhmut was one of the longest and bloodiest battles of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, lasting from August 2022 to May 2023.
Taking place in and around the city of Bakhmut in eastern Ukraine's Donetsk Oblast, the death toll was huge, and soldiers fought in trenches.
The battle has repeatedly drawn stark comparisons with the brutal trench warfare seen in World War I.
For several months, Peter said it was some of the "fiercest fighting" and the area around Bakhmut was "notorious to being lethal to troops on both sides".
"You were involved in really important incidents that helped changed part of the war. We helped liberate places from Russian forces, something that I'll always remember"
"Fighting was relentless and intense and some of the hardest fought battles were in that area," he said.
"These are guys you fight and die for. That was an unbreakable bond... you're going into some of the most dangerous situations and risking your lives for each other and you'd literally do anything to save them so that was quite a unique bond to say the least," he added.
Immense highs and the lowest of lows were always on the cards on the battlefield.
"If you go into an area and you are liberating it from Russian occupation and the women and children are coming out crying and cheering… that's something that stays with me," he said.
Peter added: "After how many days of fighting in Kharkiv counteroffensive…we eventually reached the Russian border and that was a huge sense of pride. We had achieved what we set out to do to get Russians off Ukrainian land."
Drones have played a transformative role in the war in Ukraine and have been used extensively by both sides for surveillance, targeting, and direct attacks.
The conflict has effectively become the world's first large-scale drone war, showcasing how inexpensive, unmanned systems can shape modern battlefield tactics.
According to Peter, their use restricted troop movements and their sound left a lasting impact.
"You had to have 360-degree awareness. You had to be aware of where you were walking, keep your eye out for enemy and obviously everything above you."
"Once you hear a drone above, you are just waiting. There's nothing you can do. Where are you going to hide? You can't. You have to realise you are in situations that at any moment you could die, and you don't get any notice of it. You could be the best trained solider in the world and it doesn't matter," he said.
For Peter, one of the hardest parts of war was returning to Ireland after he was sent home for a break at the end of January 2023.
"[I] had to come home at some stage…preferably not in a box. One of the weirdest things when I came home was like 'I'm safe. I'm safe. I know I'm not going to be targeted today'," he said.
While he escaped major physical injuries, Peter's mental health started to deteriorate when he got back to Ireland.
While his GP believed he was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, he refused help.
"So what did I do? I was still in combat mode. I avoided everyone. Didn't go out. Didn't socialise" he said.
A friend put him in contact with Óglaigh Náisiúnta na hÉireann (ONE), which provides support and advocacy for Irish veterans.
"One of the biggest disconnects you have when you come back is that everyone is a civilian," Peter said.
He added: "They haven't been to war. They haven't seen what you've seen. They haven't done what you've done. Once you start talking to ex-military, you are able to connect and resonate with each other."
Peter is one of seven known Defence Forces veterans who have returned from fighting in Ukraine and are now seeking help from the charity.
There are calls for others to come forward.
ONE support officer Audra Larkin said their services are tailored to those with military service.
"The ONE is a veterans organisation and they are veterans of the Defence Forces as well as the Ukrainian Army.
So, the language is very similar and we can engage with them in that language that they find difficult to be understood in the civilian world," she said.
For Peter, who is home two years, he has noticed a huge difference in his health thanks to ONE.
He admitted that his time in Ukraine was probably the most important period of his life.
"You were involved in really important incidents that helped changed part of the war. We helped liberate places from Russian forces, something that I'll always remember," he said.
And despite everything that has happened, when asked if he would go back the answer was quick and definite.
"Yes," he said.
"When you come back, you try and find purpose in life. You come back to Ireland, you try and work a job, you're socialising at the weekends and doing all the simple things that people take for granted.
"But you're not going in, doing missions, going into combat or liberating towns, saving comrades, retrieving bodies, as grim as it might be," Peter said.
He added: "At least you are doing something pretty important and making a significant difference. When you come home you realise that's lacking.