
The Real Reason Men Should Read Fiction
There's always something going on with men. They can't make friends; they're very lonely; they're 'losing' to women; they listen to Andrew Tate. And, we are told, they do not read. Over the past few years, multiple articles have observed the so-called decline of the male reader, whose tastes once made best sellers of swaggering authors including Philip Roth, John Updike, and David Foster Wallace, and whose disappearance from the contemporary literary scene is troubling. 'If you care about the health of our society—especially in the age of Donald Trump and the distorted conceptions of masculinity he helps to foster—the decline and fall of literary men should worry you,' David J. Morris wrote in The New York Times.
The argument that society's problems can be traced to the fading prominence of Infinite Jest on dorm-room bookcases feels like a stretch; so does the underlying evidence. The source of such laments seems to be a widely circulated (but poorly sourced) factoid showing that men account for only 20 percent of the North American fiction market—an alarming number that invites all sorts of unchecked speculation. (For example: Does this mean that men who do read mostly stick to nonfiction—history books, self-help guides, manuals on improving one's business? Is the modern male reader statistically likely to be a walking LinkedIn post?)
The 80/20 split is probably overblown, as Vox 's Constance O'Grady found in a recent investigation of the oft-cited statistic. But there is some proof that women consume fiction at a higher rate than men. (O'Grady cites a 2017 National Endowment for the Arts survey finding that 50 percent of American women had read a novel or short story in the past year, compared with 33 percent of men—still a divide, though not as extreme.) All sorts of explanations for this have been floated: Publishing is overwhelmingly staffed by women, who might be more likely to acquire and market books that appeal to women; the attention economy has drawn men to other forms of entertainment, such as podcasts and video games; nobody reads much right now—the median American consumes just five books a year—and men are just canaries in this coal mine.
The last point, in particular, prompts fiction defenders to explain why this is a bad thing. Arguments about why one should read tend to emphasize some positive outcome, as though a book is a public good and you are its beneficiary. 'Reading fiction is also an excellent way to improve one's emotional I.Q.,' Morris noted in his Times op-ed, implying that reading will change men for the better. Perhaps they could appear more sexually desirable to certain prospective romantic partners (according to the filmmaker John Waters), or consider spiritual mysteries that can't be neatly captured by numbers and facts alone, or strengthen their empathy muscles and become less polarized citizens.
But as someone who belongs strongly in that fifth (or perhaps much more) of the male population that reads fiction, I can say that I'm usually not thinking about what I stand to learn. Rather, I'm aware of what is happening to me right now —and that affirmative thrill is the reason I can't seem to stop accumulating new books to read, even though I could use the space in my apartment for something else.
The concept of reading as an empathy machine—to borrow a phrase that originated with the late movie critic Roger Ebert —is appealingly idealistic. Stories that burrow into characters' trains of thought can capture true interiority in a way that film or nonfiction cannot. For a similar reason, personal essays are more likely to go viral than an academic paper about the same subject, because reality is more engaging as a described experience than as a series of logically arranged details. When I read Elena Ferrante 's My Brilliant Friend, I tunnel through space and time into 1950s working-class Naples. When I read Don DeLillo 's Libra, I can feel the particulars of Lee Harvey Oswald's life. I believe this makes me more empathetic, and I enjoy believing that it does; it's flattering to think I am becoming a better person by reading a book, even if it's obviously not always true (I know some veteran readers who are truly awful people).
But empathy is a bit too touchy-feely as a consistent motivation—at least for me. Sometimes I'm in a standoffish mood and don't particularly want to feel; men don't have a monopoly on misanthropy, but I'd argue that we're the more churlish gender—and the one more expected, and therefore allowed, to shake a stick and bark 'Stay away from me.' So many books (thrillers about burly ex-military cops, literary novels with creepy narrators) are more interesting precisely because their protagonists are nearly impossible to identify with. For example, the Mexican writer Fernanda Melchor's novel Paradais is partly about a teenage gardener in a gated community who befriends an off-putting loner with a monstrous plan to sexually assault his wealthy neighbor—gripping characters, but not exactly sympathetic ones.
Instead, it's how Melchor tells her story—in a dense, logorrheic style that piles on sensory details and intrusive thoughts—that makes Paradais so effective. In one representative passage, Polo, the gardener, attempts to blend in at a children's birthday party as his attention wanders from the women in attendance ('their hair straight and inert, as neat and lifeless as wigs') to their bland husbands ('just as ridiculous in their pink polos and pastel shirts') and unruly offspring (who 'screeched and launched themselves at the juddering bouncy castle like raving lunatics'). As Polo thinks and thinks and thinks, Melchor refuses to separate his observations with periods; the misanthropic remarks accumulate at the speed of thought, communicating the depth of his distaste with dizzying urgency. The intensity of this style feels more compelling than it would if Melchor had written, 'He looked around and realized he hated these rich people.'
I do not need to feel the exact feelings of a doltish, unfulfilled Mexican teenager who will eventually play a role in a heinous crime. But I can recognize the singularity of his experience, and the specific way in which Melchor renders this experience. I am not attempting to understand Polo, but I am following along at the pace of his perception, and my awareness of how Melchor has manipulated reality into something feverish and all-consuming makes me think of moments when I've also experienced events at the same pitch. This is not empathy, per se, but an escape from my own consciousness and surroundings—something I need, from time to time.
Conversations by men about men are self-selecting by nature; surely millions of men live their life every day without caring about what other people are saying about them. But a real demographic of men is besieged, every day, by a corner of the media universe—the so-called manosphere—that dictates where they should be spending their attention. You have possibly encountered a video of one of these manosphere men, sitting in front of a microphone, stridently theorizing about how a dude should be. Men should strive to stand out, they often say. They should broadcast their opinions, judge other people, stand up for their gender—as though investing a single man with enough authority could fix everything.
Many of these outspoken personalities advocate for men to throw off society's flattening influence, but they tend to make starkly similar points in starkly similar ways. Beyond the intellectual reservations they raise, I find them deeply boring. Contrary to their rebellious posturing, there is nothing more conformist than adhering to a stranger's standards of how you should behave.
Literature, meanwhile, allows me to occupy a place that is totally for myself, and unaccountable to other people's expectations. The author Percival Everett is fond of noting that he considers reading to be a subversive act. 'No one can control what minds do when reading; it is entirely private,' he once said. This, to me, is the best argument for why a man should read, and why he should seek new mental frontiers beyond the accumulation of information. Reality is linear, but reading skips backwards and forward, allowing me to consider the world from a removed vantage point. Instead of feeling squeezed by my earthly existence and my own bodily limits, I leap into other minds and perspectives—not just those of men, but also those of women and nonhumans—and consider those expectations. I am reminded that everyone is unexceptional and everyone is exceptional. Facts can sometimes tell us this about humanity, but fiction does this best of all.
It is seductive, too, to keep things to yourself. To incubate your own thoughts and ideas without having to express and justify them in real time as you might when talking with other people. Too much isolation can lead someone askew—ask the Unabomber—but this kind of solitary contemplation offers a retreat from social pressures. I have often felt powerless, or lonely; these are, in the end, just conditions of being alive. (They are certainly not gendered or tied to any particular demographic trend.) But fiction can remind you that you exist along a continuum of human experiences, and that your own everyday ennui is less of a dead end and more of a data point. Yes, men could use more empathy; they would also benefit from a heightened sense of perspective.
Too often, 'man time' is described as putting on a football game or picking up a fishing rod—retreating into some kind of brainless entertainment that is occasionally punctuated by moments of joy. Freedom can certainly be found in the physical world; Everett is also an avid fisherman. But if you can't go outside at the moment, or if you can't stand staring at another screen? Well, pick up a novel. It may shock you, the worlds you end up exploring—and the feelings you will stir up from nothing at all. You will find it easier to walk through life, ready for what comes next.
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Atlantic
an hour ago
- Atlantic
The Rise of the ‘Club Sandwich Generation'
Through her teens, Hannah Domoslay-Paul had a great-grandmother on each side of her family. One of them was always crocheting, and as a girl, Domoslay-Paul would sit and watch her nimble hands construct the most delicate lace doilies. The other was a retired schoolteacher; at family events, she would tell stories or just list off all the counties in Michigan—the kind of thing students learned back when she was leading the classroom. Even their most mundane activities, to Domoslay-Paul, were enchanting. Now Domoslay-Paul is a graphic designer in Pensacola, Florida, and she herself has six children: four with her late first husband, and two with her current husband. On the morning that I spoke with Domoslay-Paul, those kids were in Michigan with their great-grandmother, a 92-year-old in excellent health, picking strawberries to take home and make jam. They visit her every summer; they play cards, water the flowers, and even haul hay like Domoslay-Paul did when she was around their age. Domoslay-Paul is grateful that her kids are growing up in a four-generation family as she did—but that experience is actually less rare now than when she was a child. For centuries, living long enough to become a great-grandparent was uncommon. The role was niche enough that kin researchers rarely studied it. But now many more people are reaching old age; even with people having children later on average than those in previous generations did, great-grandparenthood is becoming remarkably unremarkable. Ashton Verdery, a Pennsylvania State University sociologist who's part of a four-generation family himself, estimates that from 1996 to 2012, the number of great-grandparents in the United States increased by 33 percent, up to 20 million from 15 million. And according to Diego Alburez-Gutierrez, who studies kinship at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research, American 15-year-olds today have an average of 2.85 great-grandparents—a figure that has been inching up since at least 1950 while the mean numbers of siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins have fallen. He expects that the overall number of great-grandparents will continue rising, not just in the U.S. but in countries across the globe. In some ways, this is a beautiful development: Imagine your own children's children's children someday learning about history not from textbooks but from you, the person who lived it. But aging inevitably entails frailty, and caregiving often falls to one's children; when it comes to great-grandparents, their children are seniors themselves. Sociologists have long worried about the 'sandwich generation,' meaning the people who are simultaneously caring for their young kids and their own aging parents—a situation that can significantly strain one's mental health (and savings). Now they're seeing a growing number of people in a sort of triple squeeze, helping care for their grown children, their grandchildren, and their own parents. This cohort is called the 'club sandwich generation'—and they're stretched exceedingly thin. Zuzana Talašová, a doctoral student at Masaryk University, in the Czech Republic, likes to do a little experiment. When she asks people what it means to be a parent, everyone seems to have an answer. When she asks what it means to be a grandparent, she finds the same. But she doesn't get any cohesive response when she asks what great-grandparents do. A lot of people tell her plainly: 'I don't know.' In the absence of a strict cultural script, great-grandparents are in a strange position. Many of them didn't grow up with any such living elders and thus have no models to look to. They might never have expected to get to this point at all. But many of them end up serving an important function—one that is not practical, Talašová told me, so much as 'emotional, symbolic, or narrative.' Great-grandparents are, as Merril Silverstein, a Syracuse University sociologist, told me, 'the peak of the family pyramid': a kind of mascot for the whole lineage, and commonly a source of great pride. (Women live longer on average than men, so often that figure is a great-grand mother —a matriarch.) Many of them show up to special occasions and tell stories of national and family history. Verdery's kids have blond hair and blue eyes—but when they spend time with their great-grandmother, they get to hear about her childhood in Japan and her immigration to the United States. They love feeling connected with not only their great-grandma, Verdery told me, but also the whole line of ancestors she brings to life for them. Domoslay-Paul's grandfather died last winter, but when he was alive, he would drive her kids around his hometown, telling tales as they went. ''That's the house that my grandfather lived in. And that's the house where I was born,'' she told me he'd recount. ''When we were kids, we got drunk over there and then had to get sat by that outhouse because we were in big trouble,' and 'That's where my brother's buried. He died when he was a year old.'' Stories like these can give some perspective. Great-grandparents are a reminder that things change—that our lifetimes are enormously brief, but also that we are one link in a long line of generations, a part of something bigger than ourselves. In some sense, great-grandparents are acting in a capacity quite like grandparents might have in the past. In the U.S., grandparents tended to be seen as familial authority figures and storytellers. Now, as I've reported, their role has evolved. Many of them are deeply engaged in the everyday bustle of raising their grandkids—because child-care costs keep climbing and the demands of parenthood keep growing, but perhaps also because more of them are staying active long enough to be able to help. As Silverstein told me, 'Maybe an 85-year-old great-grandparent is as healthy as what used to be a 70-year-old grandparent.' That is: maybe not quite fit enough for anyone to ask them to pick up the great-grandkids from soccer practice, but hopefully strong enough to enjoy the birthdays, the holidays, the visits with no purpose other than to be together. Domoslay-Paul has observed that such a position can mellow out people who might've been harsh as parents. Instead of worrying about 'who needs to go to the doctor, who needs new pants,' she told me, 'you're able to just give the love.' Grandparents, then, may actually be in the most difficult position within the four-generation family. In one 2020 qualitative study, researchers interviewed working grandmothers in four-generation families; the participants described being so busy caregiving that they had no time for medical appointments or tests, even though they could feel themselves aging and their body changing. Sometimes, their different roles—mother, grandmother, child, not to mention employee—would come into direct conflict; they were needed everywhere at once. 'Who do I need to help first; for whom should I be more available?' one woman in the study wondered. 'I respond not to my own agenda but to other people's agenda.' I heard something similar from Jerri McElroy, a fellow with the nonprofit Caring Across Generations who lives in Georgia. McElroy is a full-time caregiver for her father, who has dementia and epilepsy and who lost his ability to speak after a seizure in 2018. She lives with him, her daughter, and her grandson—and has five other children and five other grandchildren as well. She has learned that when she's watching her grandkids and her dad, it can help to include the children in his care, as if it's a game—to get them excited to check up on him together, or let them carry a towel. She has mastered the juggling act, but it's never gotten easy. 'When I think about certain seasons of life,' she told me, 'it's all a blur. I don't even know how I got through.' Great-grandparents are a kind of microcosm of the larger picture of extending lifespans: On the one hand, around the world, 'aging is a big success story,' Silverstein told me. The grandmothers from the 2020 study were exhausted—but still grateful that their parents were alive. They viewed their circumstances not only as a duty, the author wrote, but also as a 'privilege.' On the other hand, many societies—including the U.S.—have left family members to care for one another largely on their own, without guaranteed parental leave, child-care subsidies, or any cohesive, accessible system for tending to the proliferating elderly. Populations are transforming radically, and policies aren't keeping up. If lifespans continue extending in the way we'd expect, four-generation families will become only more common. The future may be old. But it also might be more interconnected. As much as people talk about the U.S. and other countries becoming ever more individualistic, generations of American kin are arguably growing closer on average, researchers told me, and becoming more generous with one another. Silverstein said that because today's grandparents are so involved with family life on the whole, both logistically and emotionally, we might expect that great-grandparents will keep becoming more tied in as well. That shift is bittersweet. With an aged loved one, impending loss is always close to the surface. But great-grandkids stand to benefit from being immersed in the normality of aging and death. They get to observe firsthand how time works: what it takes, but also what it gives. Domoslay-Paul's grandfather, born in 1930, rarely spoke about emotions. But she remembers that after her first husband died, her grandfather talked to her two oldest sons, who were 6 and 7 at the time. He told them that his own parents had died when he was not much older than them—eight decades earlier. 'I know this is hard right now,' he said, 'but I got through it.' They could see for themselves that he had.


Buzz Feed
2 hours ago
- Buzz Feed
People Shared Their Favorite Popular American Foods
When the world thinks of American food, I can't help but picture them imagining hamburgers, pizzas, and hot dogs. I mean, they're not exactly wrong. These are occasional treats from an American diet, but there is a wider range to consider here. When redditor RavenRead, who lives abroad, asked r/AskAnAmerican for suggestions for "traditional" American dishes to bring to their kid's International Day potluck, the responses rolled in. I have to say, I found myself nodding to the replies. They screamed, "America!" and I was even surprised by one or two of the answers. "Handheld apple pies." — AudrinaRosee"Apple crisp or crumble. I mean any fruit crisp, crumble, buckle, or pie will be a big hit."— IllyriaCervarro "Chicken pot pie." "I often make chicken pot pie when people visit [...] It's a real novelty for most people."— makerofshoes "Corn on the cob." "That was something that a German family we hosted were blown away by. "— IT_ServiceDesk"Sweet corn is very American."— merylbouw "Chocolate chip cookies!!!" — IllyriaCervarro"The thick, chewy, just barely cooked in the middle ones."— anyansweriscorrect"Use the Toll House recipe for authenticity."— themcp "Macaroni and cheese." — OranginaOOO"Mac & cheese (please don't make a box mix)."— ATLDeepCreeker"But the box, is about as American as it gets." — Hopsblues "Peanut butter and jelly is very American." — pdxrider01"I did this when I brought in American food for my students in Spain."— SnooEpiphanies7700 "Grilled cheese and tomato soup." — SnooEpiphanies7700 "Brownies were also invented in the US." — oldpooper "Banana bread is a fantastic option." — MuscaMurum"And maybe with some chocolate chips 👀👀👀"— Silent_Loquat_6057 "Chili." — mabutosays"Yes! Some with beans and some without beans, so kids can partake in the age-old American tradition of arguing about beans in chili!"— Playful_Dust9381 "Pulled pork barbecue sandwich." — McCrankyface"With coleslaw and baked beans ❤️"— Electronic_Dog_9361"I just had dinner and I still want this."— theragu40 "Biscuits and sausage gravy." — ruggerbear"This, IF you're good at it."— revengeappendage "You can't get more American than turkey." — Flat_Tumbleweed_2192"I usually pay $200-250 for a turkey in Australia when I host Thanksgiving. It's neither easy to find nor cheap."— SizzleSpud "Sloppy joes." — Blue387 "Meatloaf and mashed potatoes with gravy!" — LastDitchTryForAName "Succotash." "Just a mix of corn and Lima beans. Some may punch it up a bit by adding tomatoes or peppers."— ChessieChesapeake"Suffering?"— SignificantTransient"It is a truly American dish, it has its roots in the native American cooking traditions, uses ingredients originating on the continent, and is easily adaptable to various dietary and ingredient constraints."— feralgraft "California burrito." — SL13377"California Burrito is a deep pull. I made carne asada in Australia. I had to practice making tortillas for a while before I could pull it off. When I added 'chips' they were blown away."— DoubleDouble0G "Clam Choudah!" (Clam chowder) — ZephRyder"As someone from [New Hampshire], I appreciate this."— Traditional-Ad-8737 "Jambalaya is easy to make and tastes great." — Comfortable-Tell-323"Get a recipe from someone from South Louisiana."— Bigstar976 "Frito Pie." — orpheus1980"Found the Texan."— trustme1maDR "Ranch dressing. Just a bottle of it." — lfisch4 "Buffalo wings." — Mental_Freedom_1648 And finally, "Buffalo chicken dip with chips!" — MaddoxJKingsley Do these sound at all American? I know I'll be having mac and cheese for dinner followed by chocolate chip cookies.


USA Today
3 hours ago
- USA Today
A farm accident almost killed him. US farmers sacrifice more than you know.
This farm family's resilience shows the strength of agriculture – and what we stand to lose. It happened so quick – the tractor's hose snagged Nathan Brickl's ankle and the next thing he knew it was yanking him down the bank. He slid 30 feet, then slammed against the roadside. When he stopped he saw that he was stuck, one leg in a culvert and the other twisted behind his back with his work shoe up near his head. He looked to the sky. It was overcast, and about to snow. 'Well, two ways this is gonna go down,' he told the Lord as he said a prayer. 'Either you take me now … or you give me the strength to get through this.' As he says now, 'He did the latter.' In fact, Brickl, 48, and his family found the kind of resilience born not just of the hard work so common in Wisconsin farm country, but also of the emotional journey and community support it takes to truly overcome tragedy. Their story reminds us during June's National Dairy Month of the legacy of resilience we have in farm families descending from Wisconsin's Dairyland tradition – and all we have to lose if American family farms don't survive. Opinion: Trump's tariffs can save America's family farms like mine – if he gets it right Humor and resilience after horrific farm accident It was a regular morning. Brickl was working at his side job on another farm in late fall of 2019, helping to roll up the large hose that carried pig manure. He and the man driving the tractor pulling the hose were the only ones around when the hose shifted and caught Brickl's ankle. He spent 45 minutes jammed in the culvert, praying, thinking about not wanting his wife to see him die, wondering what life would be like if he made it. When the crew arrived, they had to cut him out of the culvert before taking him by ambulance and helicopter to Madison. All along the way, he wrestled with fears and searched for strength. He drew on his matter-of-fact sense of humor ‒ and maybe the heavy dose of pain medication. When they were five minutes out from Madison, a first responder asked if he needed anything. 'Yeah, can we circle the Capitol before we land at the hospital?' Meanwhile, his wife, Brigitta, was trying to be there not only for her husband but also their farm in rural Troy township. She had left work, making stops to arrange for the care of their then-5-year-old daughter, and at the office of Nathan's job, where she got a moment to speak to him by phone. All along the way, her mind had been racing, "What am I gonna do as a widow? How am I gonna break this to my child?" When she finally heard his voice, she took a breath and braced herself for the work to come. Fighting for the farm with help from friends, family and strangers Brickl would live, but it would be a long road back to the farm. The doctors amputated his right leg and put rods in his left foot. While he held on in the hospital, his wife fought for all they had. Opinion: Democrats and Republicans have failed American farmers − and your dinner table There was speaking up for her husband and tracking his care, and then there was the farm. There were cash crops standing in the field, in need of harvesting if they – and the income they represented – were to be saved, along with cattle requiring daily work. The community answered the call. There were the trusted friends and family who helped with the farm work, came to the hospital, cared for their child. There were the total strangers who donated money. The emotional work remained. At one point, Brickl confessed the fear that his wife might be better off leaving him. 'You didn't sign up for this.' 'Do not worry about our relationship,' Brigitta said. 'I'm not going anywhere.' There were other, darker moments, when he contemplated ending it all – the very real risk of suicide that comes all too often when farmers wonder if they'll be able to go on. He got through them talking with his wife, and thinking of his little girl. His first steps were hard fought. It took months of therapy and work before he finally got up on his prosthetic leg. And it wasn't until he was back at the farm, cutting hay on the back of a tractor, that it felt real. It's been years more of work and modifications to the farm – with help from loved ones and grant funding – but they're still farming. Nathan and Brigitta know it also took a deeper strength they found, in those quiet moments of care. 'You can't give up on each other,' Brigitta said. 'And you can't give up on yourself.' Brian Reisinger is a writer who grew up on a family farm in Sauk County, Wisconsin. He contributes columns and videos for the Ideas Lab at the Journal Sentinel, where this column originally appeared. He is the author of "Land Rich, Cash Poor: My Family's Hope and the Untold History of the Disappearing American Farmer." He splits his time between Sacramento, California – America's 'farm-to-fork capital,' near his wife's family – and the family farm in Wisconsin. Reach him at