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Fast Company
11 minutes ago
- Fast Company
What to do if your boss is playing favorites—and you're not the favorite
If you feel like some of your colleagues are getting special treatment, you're not alone. According to a recent survey of 1,000 American workers conducted by Resume Now, 70% say they've seen leaders play favorites, while 43% say they've witnessed favoritism factor into promotions, raises, or recognition. Nearly a quarter also believe leadership is protecting a 'toxic top performer' at the expense of others. 'Our survey revealed that favoritism absolutely is happening and probably happening more frequently than a lot of companies would like to admit,' says Resume Now career expert Keith Spencer, though he notes that in most cases he believes managers aren't showing preferential treatment on purpose. 'I think the phrase 'assume mistake, not malice' applies,' he says. 'A lot of this could be happening because of unconscious bias; they don't realize they're playing favorites when they're giving more leeway or support to people that maybe remind them more of themselves.' Whether intentional or not, workplaces where staff members feel like they're treated worse than their colleagues are likely to run into serious problems. 'It should be concerning for companies to learn that their managers might be playing favorites, creating distrust and maybe some resentment,' Spencer says. 'All of that can negatively impact morale, engagement, and even retention, so there are far-ranging ripple effects from playing favorites, whether intentionally or not.' Those who find themselves in a workplace where others enjoy preferential treatment aren't helpless. Here's what the experts say you can do when your boss is picking favorites. Turn down the temperature Feeling like you're not getting the recognition you deserve can be frustrating, especially when praise is heaped on the less deserving, but in those moments it's important not to lose your cool. 'There's this swirl of emotions that people feel in that situation that can lead to behaviors that are more self-destructive than helpful,' says Dina Smith, an executive coach, strategic adviser, and author of Emotionally Charged: How to Lead in the New World of Work. 'My guidance to someone who feels as though they're not the boss's favorite is to really try to manage those emotions, reduce the intensity of them, and try not to take it personally.' Smith adds that while being overlooked or underappreciated can be frustrating, engaging in a heated confrontation won't solve anything. Lean in, not out Those who believe they're getting passed over for opportunities as others enjoy preferential treatment might feel like checking out mentally, but Smith advises taking the opposite approach. 'If they feel as though they're not the favorite, they become less proactive with their manager. But the important thing to do is to become more proactive, to ensure they have full visibility into all that you're doing, because typically they do not,' she says. Smith explains that managers often show preferential treatment to those they see putting in more of an effort but often miss the effort that's being made out of view. 'I've seen many very high-performing people shirk from owning their accomplishments, or falling into the trap of believing good work speaks for itself,' she says. 'That is magical thinking.' If you feel like you're not getting the recognition you deserve, it's important to consider whether it's the result of favoritism or a lack of visibility. Question your own assumptions While the Resume Now data suggests a significant proportion of workers are regularly confronting issues of favoritism, Justin Hale questions whether it's reality or just their perception. 'I don't think [workplace favoritism] is that high,' says the author and course designer at Crucial Learning. 'I've worked with thousands of people, and it absolutely happens sometimes, but I don't think it happens as often as people say.' Hale suggests it's easier to cry foul than to look internally, leading many to see favoritism where it doesn't exist. 'Sometimes you aren't the right fit, but most of us want to find some reasoning or justification outside of 'I just didn't do my best' or 'I wasn't qualified' or 'I wasn't the best choice,'' he says. 'We want to blame someone else; we want to point the finger elsewhere.' Before assuming the worst of your managers, Hale advises those who feel like they've been passed over to really consider whether they were deserving, whether favoritism really does play a role, and what they can do to leave no doubt they are the right choice next time. Have a difficult conversation If you've given your manager the benefit of the doubt, used perceived favoritism as motivation to up your game, and established objective measures to demonstrate your efforts yet you still feel like you're living in someone else's shadow, it's time to have a difficult conversation with your boss. Those conversations, Hale says, are vital to fostering a healthy workplace. 'If they don't have a conversation, they'll act out the conversation,' he explains. 'In the absence of having an honest, candid conversation with your boss about this concern you have, you'll hold it in, the resentment builds, and you may even spread it around to more people to feel justified in your resentment.' Difficult conversations need to be approached with a high degree of sensitivity. That's because when faced with an accusation, managers are likely to respond defensively. 'You don't want to be honest at the expense of the relationship,' Hale says. Instead, he suggests kicking things off by sharing the positive outcome you want to achieve through the conversation, such as ensuring everyone on the team feels valued. Follow that by clearly defining your objectives and presenting objective facts and examples to demonstrate your position. 'The next thing I advise is describing the concern you have by sharing your perspective or your opinion,' Hale says. 'Then you can ask the question, 'Here's how I'm seeing things, are you seeing it differently?' which can open up a dialogue.' During these conversations, Hale says it's important to avoid getting emotional or accusatory while maintaining emphasis on achieving a more positive future, not airing past grievances. 'When people start conversations, even really difficult ones, with [the structure of] fact, then story, then question,' he says, 'you decrease the likelihood of defensiveness on the receiver's part significantly.'
CNET
11 minutes ago
- CNET
This $20 Item Is the Thing I Buy First for My Kitchen When I Move
As a former girl scout I believe in always leaving a place better than I found it. As a food writer and former culinary school student, this entails always leaving behind a certain feature in any kitchen where I've lived. (As a former NYC resident, yes, there were numerous kitchens.) It's the first thing I buy for a new kitchen, without even needing to take measurements. Where I put it might be up for grabs, but it's guaranteed to be going somewhere. I'd sooner live without a microwave or a (*gasps*) air fryer than this indispensable piece of kitchen infrastructure. And it rarely costs more than $25. So, what is this magical piece of kitchen equipment? It's a magnetic knife strip. It's going up before I unpack the first box labelled "kitchen," and I never question leaving it behind when I move again to make life better for the next tenant. I'm a culinary-school trained non-chef, but even chef chefs recommend this invaluable tool: "I first tried a magnetic strip in my home kitchen a few years ago and I'm hooked," says Melissa Araujo, Chef/Owner of Alma Café in New Orleans. Here's a litany of reasons, personal and chef-approved, why you should consider adding a magnetic knife strip to your home. A magnetic knife strip is a major space saver The more you can get up on your walls, the more space you'll have on the counter and in drawers and cupboards. Pamela Vachon/CNET All of the many reasons to own a magnetic knife strip are great reasons, so it's hard to know where to lead off, but as someone who has usually been at a loss for meaningful counter space in urban apartments, I'm going to go with this one. Freeing up space that would otherwise be occupied by a knife block, or in a silverware drawer, is perhaps the number one reason for home cooks to consider a magnetic knife strip. Read more: These Kitchen Organizers Will Give You Miles of Extra Counter Space Space-saving is also a motivating factor in professional kitchens. "I even started using them in my restaurants," says Araujo. "Plus they look cool, and you can see all your knives at the same time so it's easy to know which one to pull," she says. Keep your knives sharper for longer A knife block won't dull your blades the way some storage types do. Jacobs StockWhether you've got new knives, or freshly sharpened knives, storing them on a magnetic knife strip has myriad benefits in the staying sharp department. (If your knives behave more like bludgeons than blades, first things first, get them sharpened.) First, the knife strip prevents your knives from knocking around in a utensil drawer, which can lead to dulling over time. Wooden knife blocks are okay for this purpose, but they still create a little more wear and tear than simply mounting them al fresco does. And, as Araujo's point above, you're not constantly pulling them in and out of the block in a guessing game of which-knife-went-where several times a day. Read more: Want to Completely Ruin Your Kitchen Knives? Here's How For me, there's also another element to keeping knives sharp that is enabled by the knife strip. The honing steel isn't a sharpener, per se, but its function is to help preserve the sharpness. Even as someone who was trained to use it, I have a very out-of-sight-out-of-mind relationship with this tool, but with the magnetic strip, the honing steel is very much in sight all of the time, which means I'm more likely to employ it. It's more sanitary than a knife block Gourmetop Are you concerned about places in your kitchen where bacteria may be hiding? Your magnetic strip is not one. But your knife block…? "Knife blocks trap moisture in the slots," says Araujo, which can cause microorganisms like mold spores and bacteria to thrive. (She would know, in a humid place like New Orleans. What's the dew point in your neighborhood right now?) Even if you put your knives away without fully drying them first -- don't do this, but if you do -- at least the magnetic strip gives them some air circulation. This helps not only with keeping things sanitary, but also with keeping things sharp. Best practices for using a magnetic knife strip Always put the knives spine-down so you don't chip the edges. Pamela Vachon/CNET If you're now convinced of the superiority of the magnetic knife strip, there are a few things to consider. Get a good one: "Spend the money," advises Araujo. "Cheap ones aren't strong, especially if you have solid, high-quality, heavy-duty knives." Fortunately, there's only so high the price can go here, and if you've dropped some real coin for your professional-grade knives, the magnetic strip will be a very small investment toward keeping them in good condition. A few magnetic knife strips we like: The most straightforward magnetic strip look: I've owned this $20 metal holder several times over. It has tens of thousands of positive Amazon ratings, comes in six different sizes, and maxes out around $35 for a 24-inch strip. I swear by this $20 knife strip from Amazon. Pamela Vachon/CNET Another good option is this $20 model with a dual-strip look and hooks for hanging other kitchen tools for a comprehensive storage solution. There are magnetic strips that hold more than just knives. Eco Kitchen An Amazon best seller, this $21 magnetic strip has a wood finish to suit a particular aesthetic, if that's a reason why you're hesitant to give up a wooden knife block. CNET's Home and Kitchen Editor David Watsky uses this very one. Mount it correctly: If your knife collection is small, you may be able to get away with the double-stick tape mounting that is included with some magnetic strips, but the much safer bet is to go the hardware route to make sure it is flush against the wall. I had a pro drill into the tile backsplash in my current kitchen in order to accommodate the knife strip. It looks sharp and is extremely secure. (Having your knives clatter to the ground because of an inappropriately installed strip isn't exactly enabling all of the benefits of owning one.) Store your knives appropriately: "ALWAYS put the knives spine-down so you don't chip the edges," advises Araujo. When pulling a knife off of the strip, it's also important to tilt the blade away from the strip, rather than slide it off, to help preserve its sharpness.
News24
24 minutes ago
- News24
Glam Grans take centre stage: meet our top 30 contestants
Be among those who shape the future with knowledge. Uncover exclusive stories that captivate your mind and heart with our FREE 14-day subscription trial. Dive into a world of inspiration, learning, and empowerment. You can only trial once. Start your FREE trial now Show Comments ()
