Maid asks, ‘Dear employer, how do you just lie on the sofa every day holding your mobile phone? Do you realize that servants are also human and feel tired?'

Independent Singapore

3 days ago

SINGAPORE: In the ever-buzzing Facebook group Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper , one maid dropped a reality check that hit home with hundreds of tired domestic workers: 'Dear employer, how do you just lie on the sofa every day holding your mobile phone? Do you realize that servants are also human and feel tired?'
Her original post about her employer, though not long, was loaded with emotional fatigue: 'Almost every day, when the children are at home, she always holds her mobile. She doesn't care about the children. Dear employer, I'd like to ask you how you feel when your children are fighting and screaming, but you're lying on the sofa holding your mobile phone. Maybe powerful employers have money. But do employers also realize that servants are also human and feel tired?'
The comments that followed her post were a chaotic blend of sympathy, sarcasm, survival tips, and full-blown lectures—proof that the domestic helper community is nothing if not brutally honest. Some say: 'Do your job, lah!'
One helper offered a no-nonsense response: 'That's why they get helper!!! Don't mind your employer, just do your work…'
Another shared a more strategic take: 'All you need to do is stop doing housework and focus on the kids when they're around. Make them busy playing. It's your responsibility as a helper. No need to wait for your employer to take care of the children.'
Translation: Lower your expectations and raise your patience level. This isn't parenting—it's battlefield logistics. Others say: 'You're not a robot. We feel you…'
And while some pushed the 'just deal with it' narrative, many rallied behind the maid's emotional outburst.
'They think we are a robot 🤖. Some employers really don't have humanity,' wrote one.
Another added with some philosophical optimism: 'It means your employer trusts you. You must be grateful. You will be more stressed if your employer overcontrols their kids. Everything does not need to be complained about.'
One commenter clapped back: 'I'm a helper, but I'm not the same as you. I more happier if my employer doesn't care about everything.' Then came the parenting case studies…
One helper proudly shared her employer's parenting game: 'My employer is very hands-on. Her kid is very disciplined. He's five years old now, but he has been sleeping by himself for three months. Before 7 pm, he is told to go to his room. Sometimes I sleep earlier than him.'
Clearly, this household runs like a Swiss train schedule. But for others, it descends into Lord of the Flies chaos by 7 pm.
Another said her employer happily outsourced child-rearing: 'My ma'am, on Sundays, takes care of the kids. On Monday, she says she's already stressed. That's why she allows me to discipline them. Sometimes they fight, and I let them fight. They'll stop.'
One even offered a solution fit for military school, 'Shout at them. Discipline them in a hard way. Let them be scared of you,' though that kind of solution might raise eyebrows at a parenting seminar. From burnout to breakthrough?
The maid's post, while simple, sparked a genuine discussion about the emotional and physical toll domestic helpers endure, especially when they're left to care for children whose actual parents are just… chilling on the couch, perfecting their Candy Crush scores.
It's easy to forget that while helpers are hired to support households, they're not hired to replace responsibility. They have backs that ache, patience that thins, and minds that tire. They're not androids in aprons. They're human beings just like all of us with limits, emotions, and restraint. See also Maid jailed for making false report accusing employer of rape
To the employers scrolling through TikTok while chaos unfolds around them: Maybe, look up and lend a hand to your helper. Or at the very least, acknowledge the humans holding your household together.
Because if your helper ever writes a memoir, chapter one might just be titled: Lying on the Sofa: A True Crime Story
In other news, another helper dropped a bombshell of her own: 'My boss is a man and has one child. Every morning I wake them up. I get irritated when I turn on the light because my boss doesn't even wear proper shorts.'
That sounds tolerable—until it wasn't. 'He always wears boxers, and I can see his private parts.'
You can read her full, awkward morning boxer saga over here: Maid says, 'I get irritated when my male employer wears just boxers around me; he should wear proper sleeping clothes or shorts instead'