Seeking Hookups and Relationships on Work Trips

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2 days ago

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Alex Green
On a recent stay at the Fairmont Century Plaza in Los Angeles, I entered the hotel after a long day of intense meetings, looked at the hopping lobby bar, and thought to myself: if only I were single.
I'll tell you why. My room looked directly into the illustrious CAA offices, conjuring up vivid fantasies about meeting some Hollywood hotshot with a dirty mind and house in the Hills. Also, the hotel's common areas were flush with interesting travelers—a mix of surgeons (a conference!), random LA producers, and attractive, international business people. Lastly, I was lonely; I had flown to Los Angeles to sell a TV show, the meetings were successful, and I wanted someone to celebrate with. My partner and our two young kids were at home in Brooklyn, and sadly I had no one to pop a bottle of Champagne with. Alas.
I've had this if only sensation at a few other hotels around the world. 1 Hotel South Beach, with its entrancing indoor-outdoor aesthetic and late-night party crowd at AVIV, is super-seductive in that work-hard-play-hard way. The Hoxton in Paris has the most electric social scene I've ever experienced in Europe—the liveliness hits you the second you step into the property. Which reminds me, the Air France lounge at New York-JFK (and no doubt CDG) has a nice, flirtatious vibe too.
When I asked legitimately single friends, who travel constantly for work, about the current state of affairs (no pun intended) for busy travelers looking for love (or friendship, or sex, or whatever!), they confirmed my suspicion: It's an excellent time to be single and traveling.
'I consider my travel schedule to be a feature not a glitch'
Tia, a celebrity hairstylist who is always on the road
Zachary, 40, who travels 'about half the year' for his job as a lawyer working in finance, fondly remembers being stuck at the American Airlines Admirals Club lounge in San Francisco, late at night, because his flight was delayed. While sitting at the bar, he met a woman in a similar situation. 'We were vibing over drinks, and she was also delayed,' he recalls. 'We decided to stop drinking and look for a place to sit…then we walked past the boring chairs and decided to try the sleep lounge where the lights weren't so harsh. We were the only ones there and started kissing for a couple minutes before they announced the lounge was closing at 11:30. We said our goodbyes, and I didn't get her number, but it was really romantic in a crazy way.'
'I consider my travel schedule to be a feature not a glitch,' says Tia, 45, a celebrity hairstylist who is always on the road. 'I meet guys I'd never meet in my daily life in New York City, and that's a thrill. I always stay in beautiful hotels, and feel empowered as a solo and successful woman. So I end up attracting like-minded people who have the same energy. And good looking men are everywhere—especially in Europe!'
Another friend, Nate, 42, a consultant for a debt and private equity investment fund, travels almost every week of the year, agrees. In fact, after years of work trips to New Orleans, Houston, and Oklahoma City, he has dating-while-traveling down to a science. 'I intentionally stay at hotels that are close to nightlife, or at least where there's a good hotel bar scene. Like, in New York I always stay at The Standard Highline.'
Beyond curating the right hotel, Nate has a few more hacks: 'I'll change my location on the apps a week in advance, to start talking to people I want to take out when I get to town. I do tons of research on the best restaurants to bring my date to, since the area might be new to me. I'll read tons of reviews and lists. I'm a member of FoundersCard, a members' club. And Soho House. Although, I might switch to San Vincente at The Jane Hotel [in New York].' Even with a packed work schedule and a wardrobe that essentially lives in a suitcase, Nate sees dating on the road as an important way to nurture his personal life. 'As tired or jet-lagged as I am, I always make [planning] a few great dates a priority because I really want to meet someone.'
Another perpetual traveler, Lisa, 29, a publicist, likes to start manifesting a romantic connection while packing for a work trip. 'It might sound a little extra but I always pack at least two hot lingerie sets and my vibrator (or a trusty toy) just in case things get… adventurous. Having those items in my luggage makes me want things: quick connections, long stares, maybe a one-night stand that leaves me smiling on my flight home. In all seriousness, prioritizing my love and sex life is part of my self-care as a single girl.' Lisa's thinking is probably why sexy brands like Cosabella and Maude are popping up in more and more hotel retail spaces and minibars. For example, Cosabella is sold at Ritz Carlton in Lake Tahoe, Shutters on the Beach in Santa Monica, and more; while Maude is part of the minibar program at Austin Proper Hotel, The Global Ambassador in Phoenix, and several others.
'Ten minutes in… we hit it off. She's now my wife, we just had a baby, and that was the last time I found myself single in a hotel lobby bar.'
Lauren Levin, CMO of Lightstone
Online dating makes all of this infinitely easier than ever, but what are the right apps to explore? It depends what you're looking for. 'As soon as I land, I'm on Feeld,' says Jamie, 38, a journalist who works all over the world and generally seeks 'casual relationships that veer on the edgy side.' Of course, Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder are the go-to apps, as time-consuming and often disappointing as many find them to be. Not to mention the niche options like LoveJack, a brainy new dating app where people meet, not with selfies, but with five self-authored words and Better in Person, the no-BS dating app that turns more matches into dates by giving users the power to report the 'F**boys, catfishers, and the like.'
Beyond online dating, some hotels have become hyper-attuned to the needs of single business travelers looking to meet other singles. 'As solo travel continues to rise, thanks in part to the flexibility of remote work and the rise in bleisure travel—business plus leisure—we saw an opportunity to reimagine the hotel stay for today's traveler,' says Lauren Levin, CMO of Lightstone—owner and operator of five Moxy Hotels in New York, as well Moxy South Beach and Moxy Downtown Los Angeles. 'At Moxy, we've intentionally designed our public spaces to feel like a social playground. Our lobbies seamlessly shift from co-working hubs by day to lively hangouts at night. Plus, our programming is intentionally social: think watch parties, drag bingo, happy hours, and game nights. These events often draw a mix of neighborhood regulars and out-of-towners, many of them arriving solo but leaving with new friends (or more).'
Why is Levin so committed to helping singles find love? 'Throughout my thirties, I traveled for work monthly which made dating challenging. Until one business trip to New York City in 2020 when I matched with a woman on Hinge and invited her to meet me for a drink at Moxy East Village. Ten minutes in… we hit it off. She's now my wife, we just had a baby, and that was the last time I found myself single in a hotel lobby bar.'
Dalton Freitas, head of programming at Thompson Central Park New York, says his hotel is on the same trajectory: 'We're constantly thinking about programming that encourages mingling, whether it's art, music, or cocktail-focused. We've got a queer designer trunk show later this month, and in general, look forward to creating a larger footprint in the dating scene.'
None of this is to detract from the art of self-love while on a work trip. GetYourGuide recently offered an intimate workshop hosted by Marie Morise, a traveling French sexologist, all about love and desire, which I personally buckled down for in Paris. I write about love and sex, and it's the core of my career, so it's important for me to remain curious and ripe, if you will. I attended with the intention of tenderizing my heart and soul—in the name of work—after a relentless year of work and parenting. The sessions were enlightening, not to mention aphrodisiacal. The closeness I felt to the other people in the room had a sense of both innocence and mischief. The wine, cheese, and chocolate didn't hurt. And yes, I thought to myself: if only.
Originally Appeared on Condé Nast Traveler
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