When Farah Khan spoke about marrying Shirish Kunder, who gave her an ‘ultimatum': ‘Karan Johar did my tarot card reading and said..'

Indian Express

2 days ago

Farah Khan has always been outspoken about her life and work. The choreographer turned filmmaker, creating waves with her YouTube cooking show, once opened up about her dating life with husband Shirish Kunder and how the proposal was more of an 'ultimatum.' While interacting with Simi Garewal on her show, Shirish confessed that he chose her. 'I had a crush on her. There was this silent crush. I never did anything about it. So, when she offered me to edit Main Hoon Na, I did it for a much lower price than I would have. So, during the making, I saw no hope of letting her know. I was just an editor. I, honestly, didn't expect anything to happen. I had no clue that we would get married or I will be seeing her,' shared Shirish.
Responding, Farah admitted her initial impression of Shirish. 'I had no idea. He had short hair and he used to wear specs.'
He added that it was at a party at Farah's home where he 'got drunk and I told her'. 'The more I spoke to him, I realised that he is extremely intelligent because till then I never took him seriously. Also, it was flattering to know that someone has a crush on you,' Farah continued.
When Simi asked him how he had proposed to her, Shirish said, 'I threatened her.'
Farah detailed it. 'He said if you don't want to get married, darling, get out! I don't want to see you and waste my time. If you are serious and you will get married, then we will take it further. Then I thought about it. He actually gave me an ultimatum. Normally, the girls do that. Thank God he did that. That's when I realised I didn't want to lose him.'
Shirish explained why he did that in the interview: 'I am scared of relationships. I am scared of being hurt. I can't take breakups. She was the only one I wanted to meet again and again. Otherwise, I was so scared that I would meet girls only once and never again. And when I met Farah, I thought if I lost her, I won't be able to take it. So, I gave her an ultimatum.'
Farah also shared that, unlike what many believe, her directorial debut's lead and friend Shah Rukh Khan wasn't the first one to know about her relationship with Shirish. 'I think Gauri found out before anyone else. She saw the two of us in the editing room, where she came to see a promo, as she was the producer. She called me up and said, 'You are lying. You have been hiding from us. I can make out that both of you are seeing each other.' I was like, Gauri, no, no! Till then, we didn't want the unit or anyone to know,' expressed Farah, adding that she finally made an announcement at a big Main Hoon Na celebration party at Shah Rukh's house 'where I was very high and drunk'. 'He came there and I introduced him to everybody,' said Farah.
Interestingly, her friend and host-filmmaker Karan Johar also reads tarot cards, Farah shared in the same interview. 'Karan read my tarot card. He is the best. He picked up a card and said, 'Who is this guy you are seeing?'. He said, 'I think you are going to marry him and he is going to be great for you.' So, everyone who met him always had nice things to say,' an excited Farah shared.
The couple tied the knot in 2004 and have three children.
Taking a cue from the couple's candid admission, let's understand all about ultimatums in love and how they can sometimes come from a place of honesty.
'We often assume ultimatums in relationships are harsh. But sometimes, they come from the heart's most tender, terrified parts. In Shirish-Farah's case, it appears that he wasn't trying to pressure her. 'But because he was scared. Scared of love. Scared of being left. Scared of giving his heart and watching it break quietly in the background. And in that moment, what looked like a hard line was actually his way of asking – 'Will you choose me?' said Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist, and life coach.
Farah admitted she paused when he said that. 'It made her realise something she hadn't slowed down enough to see: She didn't want to lose him either. Sometimes, it takes someone's honesty to shake us awake to our own,' explained Delnna.
*Vulnerability often hides behind firmness. Not everyone knows how to say, 'I'm scared to lose you.' Sometimes they'll say, 'Make a choice.' Don't just hear the words. Let's listen to the heart beneath them.
*People don't fear commitment. They fear heartbreak. 'When someone avoids closeness, it's not always detachment. Often, it's trauma. Loss. Fear. If they tell you their fears – honour that gift,' said Delnna.
*Clarity is an act of self-respect. When someone asks you to decide, it's not rejection. It's protection. It comes from a space of need, desire to solidify, and sometimes vulnerability. No one deserves to stay in a limbo of maybe. Choosing is an act of love for BOTH!
*Sometimes, women wait too long to admit their truth. 'We often expect men to pursue, to persist. But real connection happens when both people step in with presence. Farah only realized how much she cared when the risk of losing him became real,' shared Delnna.
*The strongest relationships are born when truth is spoken early. 'Not in anger. But in clarity,' said Delnna.