Boy Oh Boy! Why men in the making need more mental wellness support
For many boys, friendships once used to be a source of camaraderie and solace. That cushioning, apparently, has been shrinking. A history undergraduate, who has been battling depression, shares how he got isolated after sharing his inner woes: 'We mostly talk about films, cars, girls…. Once when I tried to open up, my friends got visibly uncomfortable. I changed the topic quickly. Everyone behaved as if nothing was wrong.'
Dr Arun agrees: 'Two decades ago, friendships buffered emotional stress. Not anymore. The digital revolution has pushed many boys into isolated online worlds. They have retreated into shells, and it's stunting emotional growth.'
What about familial support? Well, unfortunately, even the most loving parents stumble here. 'The Netflix series Adolescence illustrated this,' Dr John notes. 'Most parents are often unaware of what their children are dealing with.'
He also highlights an imbalance in parental and social conditioning. While many women have become informed and empowered, men remain caught between outdated norms and biology. 'Parents should help boys understand their hormonal makeup. Risk-taking and aggression are real — but need healthy channels. Instead, male aggression often receives social sanction, confusing boys further,' says Dr John. 'We must teach boys to name their emotions — not hide or evade them.'
Akhila M S, a school counsellor, says many parents normalise boys' problematic behaviour. 'They assume boys are just being boys,' she says. 'When counsellors raise concerns, they are often dismissed unless the problem is extreme.'
She adds that, in serious cases, referrals are made to district resource centres (DRCs), which include psychiatrists and psychologists. She recounts such a case: 'I was asked to talk to a Class 10 boy, whose performance had dropped drastically after the pandemic. It took months for him to open up. He had gotten hooked on pornography during lockdown. That triggered severe anxiety about his body. He believed something was wrong with his genitalia. This turned into a two-year silent struggle, leading to suicidal thoughts. He hadn't shared any of this with even his closest friends.'
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