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AsiaOne
an hour ago
- General
- AsiaOne
There's 'mum guilt', but what about dads? As fatherhood loomed, one man felt guilt and 'grief', Lifestyle News
Hands up — how many of us mums have felt the familiar pang of 'mum guilt'? I remember going back to work after maternity leave and feeling a surge of complicated emotions whenever photos of my baby's milestones were sent to me. The emotion of guilt bubbled to the fore whenever I was invited to social events, which meant taking away more time from my son. "Is it too much to want some 'me time' or enjoy myself while someone else is taking care of my child?" I'd think. According to online sources, the feeling of 'mum guilt' is commonly experienced as the feeling of not doing enough and falling short of expectations — be it of society's, those around us or our own. The emotion is often manifested as shame, regret and self-reproach, reported Australian news network ABC on the topic. But it also made me wonder about this idea of 'dad guilt'. Do dads feel the equivalent emotion, and is it possible they feel it as intensely as their wives? According to an article on Touch Community Services' website in June this year, dad guilt is more common than people might think and can "significantly affect the emotional and mental well-being of fathers". This can feel like spending time with the kids is at the cost of being an effective financial provider, or not wanting to take time out for themselves, the article stated. It added that dads can feel "an immense pressure to 'compensate' for their time away at work by dedicating every moment at home to family, viewing their personal time as a luxury they can't afford". Yes, dads feel guilt too A straw poll of some fathers around me revealed that for the most part, they do experience guilt, though whether it matches the intensity felt by their wives is to be debated. In fact, men can experience emotions that are just as complex, which women might not be aware of. Sometimes, these emotions can manifest themselves even before the baby's birth. New parent Marc Teo was elated at welcoming his son — who was born on May 15 — to the world, but knowing that he was about to become a father and be responsible for another life triggered something unexpected in the 33-year-old business coach. In a Facebook post published on May 19, he wrote that with impending fatherhood, he began "reflecting and setting goals" for himself, and that was when he started to feel some discomfort in his body. "I started feeling tense: my chest felt tight, my breathing grew heavy, and [I] entered a deep state of sadness," he stated. Turning to AI for a "diagnosis", Marc realised that he was "grieving". "It felt I was saying goodbye to an old version of myself," he wrote, adding in a separate Instagram post that "it felt like I might lose the life I loved — five-figure months, travelling around the world, etc." [embed] Speaking to AsiaOne, Marc shared that he'd experienced 'dad guilt' even before his baby's arrival, as he worried over whether he was doing enough for his pregnant wife and if he'd be able to provide financially for his family. "A lot of internal pressure showed up," he admitted. "But through coaching and a lot of reflection, I started to realise — it's not about having it all figured out. I might not be perfect, but I can keep showing up, keep improving and take it one step at a time," said Marc, who shared that he constantly checks in with his wife on how he can make her life easier. However, he reflected that guilt isn't always a bad thing. "It actually showed me that I care and is a signal that I want to be better and be present. So instead of running from the discomfort, I learned to sit with it," said Marc, who also practised gratitude and a process of "reframing" his mindset to cope. Now just over a month into becoming a new dad, he says he is slowly adjusting to his new schedule. "At times I still feel like I'm not doing as much as I could, especially when I see what my wife is managing. But I try to view that thought as something to grow from, not beat myself up over," he reflected. "All that said, holding my kid gives me perspective and reminds me of what matters at the end of the day." 'Anticipatory grief' and anxiety Psychologist Gifford Chan shared with AsiaOne that many of Teo's thoughts and feelings are "very valid" and that he could be experiencing a form of "anticipatory grief" at the possibility of losing his freedom and anxiety about the adjustment to being a father. "Welcoming a baby into the family for the first time is a big life-changing experience. Many fathers struggle to accept and understand this change," said Gifford, who owns his own private practice, Psychology Matters. He suggested that men experiencing these emotions talk openly with their wives on her expectations and what they hope to do for the family. "Reaching a common understanding on how they want to take care of the child, down to the nitty gritty of vaccines, breastfeeding or formula, financial priorities and input from parents and in-laws are also important," Gifford stressed. More essentially, couples should prioritise their marital relationship and take small pockets of time to continue building it, he added. The approach mirrors what Teo practised to help him address the guilt he feels whenever he's away from his family. One of them is setting expectations with his wife and grounding himself on principles they'd agreed upon as a couple. "I know that when I'm not working, I'm fully there [with my family], and that helped me address the guilt over the past few months especially," he told AsiaOne. Shifting parental roles Among the five dads AsiaOne spoke to, most of them acknowledge that evolving parental roles have made these emotions more salient, as the lines between "mum" and "dad" are no longer as defined as they once were. "I suppose the main role of dads back then was to provide financially, maybe only stepping in for serious matters of discipline. But for the day-to-day, it was definitely mum," said Marc. Entrepreneur Dave (not his real name), whose daughter is nine, echoed this, sharing how he grew up in a traditional household with his dad as the financial provider and mum the primary caregiver — a clear division of roles that feels outdated in his own family. "Personally, I've always disliked the notion of fixed roles as defined by society and lean much more heavily towards what I think will benefit our family," he said. Some fathers also shared with AsiaOne that most of the guilt they feel is over the lack of quality of time with their kids — a situation not unfamiliar with working mothers. Dave, whose daughter is nine eight [C: she turns nine in Nov], knows this to be true — especially on days when he feels he hasn't been present enough with his family. The feeling also surfaces when he thinks he's been too harsh on his daughter for misbehaving. He admitted to feeling particularly remorseful when he realises belatedly that "the severity was influenced more by my mood at the time instead of being proportionate to her perceived transgression". Gifford, who himself is a father of two kids below 12, revealed that he experiences similar emotions even as a mental health practitioner. "Especially when in my line of work, the more I work, the more I can potentially earn," he admitted. "This directly clashes with my desire to spend time with my kids, whether through play or simply chatting." He admitted to feeling envious of his wife on occasion, as she works from home and gets to see the children more. The concept of having 'me time' is also not exclusive to mums, and neither is the resulting guilt. Said Gifford: "When I return from work, there's also a [internal] struggle on whether I should spend the little time I have with the kids or to relax and wind down for the day." According to Joel Wong, assistant manager at Touch Counselling & Psychological Services, Touch Community Services, both dad guilt and mum guilt stem from the feeling that they're not doing enough. "As fathers carry out the role of being the family provider, they may frequently experience dad guilt, believing that they're not doing enough to care for their family's needs and spending quality time with them," said Joel. The increased advocacy for fathers to be involved at home as well as the evolving societal expectations of dads may contribute to the growing feelings of dad guilt. Said Joel: "This can be a novel experience or struggle for many fathers to grapple with, prompting difficult questions such as, 'will prioritising my family affect my career?' or 'if my career is affected as a result of being more present with my family, does it impact my ability to provide for them?'" The idea that 'dad guilt' exists is shared by Swetha Vigraham, founder of Bricks & Blocks Coaching and host of the Everyday Parenting podcast. In a written commentary on the topic, she added further insight that the way 'dad guilt' manifests can be slightly different in men than in women. While mums tend to question if they're doing enough for their children, fathers frequently turn to the more existential question of "What am I doing?" and how they can contribute. Mums also often face the pressure of meeting pre-conceived notions in society of how mothers should be, whereas fathers may grapple with feeling inadequate in the parenting arena, said Swetha. Joel told AsiaOne that today's fathers are not just providers; their role now significantly includes supporting their children's emotional, social and mental well-being. Juggling these multifaceted responsibilities can take a toll on their mental health. "While mothers have long played the role of balancing work and home, it may seem fathers now have a lot of catching up to do," he said. To alleviate the mental stress and pressure of being a parent, Touch Counselling & Psychological Services encourages dads to share their struggles and concerns with their spouse and seek emotional support from loved ones to manage feelings of dad guilt. However, if the emotions are overwhelming, making it difficult to cope, it is best to seek professional help, Joel said. candicecai@
Economic Times
2 hours ago
- Business
- Economic Times
Income Tax rise surpasses wage growth as rates and inflation hit working Australians, says ATO data
TIL Creatives On one hand, the working Australians saw a rise in their tax bills, while on the other, the very rich witnessed a drop in their incomes as the property prices, which saw an unusual high, returned to normal levels or declined. The tax bills of many working Australians increased faster than their wages during the financial year 2022-23, data from the Australian Taxation Office released on Friday, June 27, 2025, revealed. Meanwhile, the data also showed that 91 Australians who earned more than $1 million in total income paid no tax in ATO released the data covering the 2022-23 financial year, the first full year of the government led by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. On one hand, the working Australians saw a rise in their tax bills, while on the other, the very rich witnessed a drop in their incomes as the property prices, which saw an unusual high, returned to normal levels or declined. The ATO data also revealed that the people were majorly impacted as their wages were consumed by both inflation and the tax system. Among the taxpayers who bore the brunt were women who suffered most from the end of the low- and middle-income tax offset. The income tax offset was a benefit given to Australian taxpayers to reduce the total tax burden. This amount was directly deducted from the total taxable income. The amount of offset depended upon the taxable income. The offset, which was discontinued by the Albanese government after it came to power in 2022, was brought in by the Scott Morrison government as a temporary measure to offset the cost of living pressure after the Covid-19 outbreak. The data also showed a decline in the number of landlords across Australia. However, those who had negatively geared properties increased in every state and territory, according to local media reports. Around 1,130,000 landlords who registered a loss were negatively geared. The median loss was $5,487, and the average was $9,346, ABC reported. As far as the 91 non-income tax-paying millionaires are concerned, they claimed $390 million worth of different deductions to reduce their tax bills to zero, according to an analysis of the data by the Australia Institute and the ABC. The major portion of the deductions came from 19 millionaires who donated a total of $291 million to tax-deductible charities, averaging about $15.4 million ATO data for the financial year 2022-23 also revealed that the country's highest earners live in Sydney's eastern suburbs, taking in Darling Point, Edgecliff, Rushcutters, and Point 2022-23, the average income of the working population across Australia was $74,240, which is an increase of $1913, or 2.6 percent, as compared to the 2021-22 financial year. Among the workers, the women's workforce managed to surpass men, with their average income growing by 3.3 percent, or $1992, to $62,046, compared to men, whose average lifted 2.2 percent to $86, big part of the rise in income, however, was taken away by higher taxes, partly due to the end of the low- and middle-income tax offset. After the offset benefit ended, the average net tax paid by all workers rose by 4.2 percent, or $946, to $23, to the Sydney Morning Herald, women, many of whom had fallen in the bracket of the low- and middle-income tax offset, suffered a 5.8 percent, or $1009, increase in their average net tax. As far as men are concerned, their average tax lifted by $1000, or 3.7 percent, to $28,206. Inflation, which was up by around 6 percent, added salt to the wounds.
Time of India
2 hours ago
- Business
- Time of India
Income Tax rise surpasses wage growth as rates and inflation hit working Australians, says ATO data
The tax bills of many working Australians increased faster than their wages during the financial year 2022-23, data from the Australian Taxation Office released on Friday, June 27, 2025, revealed. Meanwhile, the data also showed that 91 Australians who earned more than $1 million in total income paid no tax in 2022-23. The ATO released the data covering the 2022-23 financial year, the first full year of the government led by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. On one hand, the working Australians saw a rise in their tax bills, while on the other, the very rich witnessed a drop in their incomes as the property prices, which saw an unusual high, returned to normal levels or declined. The ATO data also revealed that the people were majorly impacted as their wages were consumed by both inflation and the tax system. Among the taxpayers who bore the brunt were women who suffered most from the end of the low- and middle-income tax offset. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like War Thunder - Register now for free and play against over 75 Million real Players War Thunder Play Now Undo The income tax offset was a benefit given to Australian taxpayers to reduce the total tax burden. This amount was directly deducted from the total taxable income. The amount of offset depended upon the taxable income. The offset, which was discontinued by the Albanese government after it came to power in 2022, was brought in by the Scott Morrison government as a temporary measure to offset the cost of living pressure after the Covid-19 outbreak. The data also showed a decline in the number of landlords across Australia. However, those who had negatively geared properties increased in every state and territory, according to local media reports. Around 1,130,000 landlords who registered a loss were negatively geared. The median loss was $5,487, and the average was $9,346, ABC reported. Live Events As far as the 91 non-income tax-paying millionaires are concerned, they claimed $390 million worth of different deductions to reduce their tax bills to zero, according to an analysis of the data by the Australia Institute and the ABC. The major portion of the deductions came from 19 millionaires who donated a total of $291 million to tax-deductible charities, averaging about $15.4 million each. The ATO data for the financial year 2022-23 also revealed that the country's highest earners live in Sydney's eastern suburbs, taking in Darling Point, Edgecliff, Rushcutters, and Point Piper. During 2022-23, the average income of the working population across Australia was $74,240, which is an increase of $1913, or 2.6 percent, as compared to the 2021-22 financial year. Among the workers, the women's workforce managed to surpass men, with their average income growing by 3.3 percent, or $1992, to $62,046, compared to men, whose average lifted 2.2 percent to $86,199. The big part of the rise in income, however, was taken away by higher taxes, partly due to the end of the low- and middle-income tax offset. After the offset benefit ended, the average net tax paid by all workers rose by 4.2 percent, or $946, to $23,562. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, women, many of whom had fallen in the bracket of the low- and middle-income tax offset, suffered a 5.8 percent, or $1009, increase in their average net tax. As far as men are concerned, their average tax lifted by $1000, or 3.7 percent, to $28,206. Inflation, which was up by around 6 percent, added salt to the wounds.
Yahoo
3 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Shipwrecked! 'Doctor Odyssey' canceled after 1 season on ABC
Doctor Odyssey has hit rough waters. Entertainment Weekly has confirmed that ABC's cruise ship medical drama is ending after one season. Created by Ryan Murphy, Doctor Odyssey starred Joshua Jackson, Phillipa Soo, and Sean Teale as a groundbreaking (for network TV) potential throuple as the medical staff on a cruise ship captained by Don Johnson. The news of the show's cancellation comes in the wake of a lawsuit filed by three members of the props crew against parent company Disney and producer 20th Television alleging sexual harassment, retaliation, wrongful termination, and negligent hiring, retention, and supervising practices. Earlier this month, Caroline Mack, Alicia Haverland, and Ava Steinbrenner alleged in the suit that Tyler Patton, hired by the companies to serve as Doctor Odyssey's assistant prop master under his wife, prop master Tammie Patton, subjected them to an "unchecked campaign of sexual harassment for months." Disney, 20th Television, and Tammie and Tyler Patton did not respond to EW's requests for comment at the time. According to the suit, Tyler and several other male props employees allegedly created "an unlawful den of sexual harassment and retaliation," which the suit claims Tammie Patton not only ignored but subjected them to retaliation for complaining about. The plaintiffs alleged that Disney and 20th TV ignored their complaints, and ultimately laid off the entire props department rather than investigate and take appropriate action. Mack, Haverland, and Steinbrenner are requesting a jury Odyssey's May 15 season 1 ender delivered closure for every character, making it a surprisingly satisfying series finale. Max (Jackson) and Avery (Soo) finally declared their love for each other, and committed to being together long-distance while following their individual dreams: Avery going to medical school, Max staying on the cruise ship. And Tristan (Teale) took not being chosen by Avery surprisingly well. The lack of drama and clear conclusion for the love triangle was the most shocking part of the episode. Plus, everyone survived the tsunami wave and earthquake aftershocks, the captain was able to keep his job despite not following orders during the crisis, and they all celebrated by dancing to "Despacito" on the beach. Not a bad way to go out for a cancelation after one season. Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly
Yahoo
4 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Joshua Jackson's 5-Word Update On Doctor Odyssey Season 2 Is Making Fans Go Overboard, And I Can Relate
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. It's been over a month since Doctor Odyssey's first season reached its destination, with a somewhat disappointing finale airing on the 2025 TV schedule, but still no decision has come down from ABC regarding the future of the Ryan Murphy creation. Fans like myself have been desperate for an update, and Joshua Jackson — who brings the Dawson's Creek vibes at Dr. Max Bankman — finally came through with five words that honestly don't make me feel any better. Joshua Jackson attended the Motion Picture & Television Fund NextGen Annual Summer Party this past weekend, and as he walked the red carpet, someone can be heard commenting that they hope Doctor Odyssey would get renewed for Season 2. In the clip on X, you can see his face scrunch up, and he shrugs a couple of times before responding: They haven't told us yet. I don't love this response, because there was no confidence in the answer; it didn't sound to me like he was expecting to hear from Ryan Murphy any day now, and honestly, the facial expression read more like, 'not happening,' than 'prepare to set sail,' at least in my opinion. I'm just speculating here, but it seems like these actors — Joshua Jackson in addition to Phillipa Soo, Sean Teale, Don Johnson and the rest of the cast and crew — would kind of need to know something about the state of their employment. Either way, I'm not the only Doctor Odyssey fan reading into Jackson's words, as the comments were full of doom and frustration: I need them to just make a decision already it's driving me insane – @Fruit_Batt_ Maybe it's already cancelled and he is not allowed to say 😬 – @targetconfusion Abc put the series in the freezer and forgot about it 😔 – @FinitAaAaaaaA Keeping them + us in limbo is sick behavior😭 – @just_zutara Bruh 😭 what the hell is this??? JUST GIVE US SOME CLARITY FFS – @Lylyjen Honestly, if it's over, just put us out of our misery already! One fan referenced the wild theory that The Odyssey isn't real and that Max is stuck in a COVID-induced purgatory, hallucinating the unrealistic high-seas medical emergencies and the stunt-casted spring-breakers begging to give him the ride of his life. X user @Mietar cleverly commented: Turns out it was actually us viewers in purgatory this whole time 😭 Ahead of the Season 1 finale, the situation didn't seem so dire, as ABC/Hulu executive Craig Erwich indicated that the decision was in Ryan Murphy's hands, with creative conversations ongoing with the busy TV producer. However, weeks later — and especially with the sexual harassment lawsuit filed by three former Doctor Odyssey crew members — it feels a little less likely that we're cruising toward good news. That's a lot of speculation for just five words from Joshua Jackson, but you know, we're just a little lost at sea here, wondering if we'll ever get that musical episode and reminiscing about the days of our favorite ABC primetime throuple (are there others?). While we wait for something more official to come down, Doctor Odyssey's first season is available to stream with a Hulu subscription.
