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Yahoo
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
The 1 Gen Z Phone Habit Everyone Should Steal
As a preteen, I couldn't resist the siren song of AIM, or AOL Instant Messenger. I'd hear that 'door opening' noise or a message notification and rush to my computer, eager to see if the sign-on was my best friend or my boyfriend, both who were equally tethered to AIM at the time. (Naturally, all of our screen names usually contained the name of the person we were 'dating' at the time ― NicksGirl4Eva88 was the height of romance in middle school in 2001.) When I got my own phone not long after, I downloaded my favorite songs to use as ringtones, just like every other teenager I knew. I was as eager as ever to receive texts. (Phone calls? Those not so much. It's true that millennials are phone call averse.) Now that I'm in my 30s with a full time job, the thrill is categorically gone. If anything, I'm loath to look at my phone: Group texts reach obscene numbers in a matter of minutes, Slack notifications from work stack up and ruin my flow state, and there always seems to be one or two texts from a friend that I've been meaning to get to, but still haven't yet. Color me surprised, then, to learn that a number of Gen Zers (and some millennials ― ones who are smarter than me) just leave their phones on 'Do Not Disturb' all day. Going on vibrate isn't enough anymore, it's DND 24/7. On TikTok, videos tagged 'DND' and 'DND 24/7' show teens and 20-somethings sharing how peaceful and productive they've felt since changing their notification settings. To render your phone basically useless for the entire day is about as close to zen as I can imagine, but it also sounds weirdly frightening. But the way Gen Z sees it, it's their phone, their time and their prerogative if they need to set boundaries. 'When I'm trying to study for an upcoming exam, a new Snapchat notification or Instagram message can often send me into a downward spiral of scrolling through my social media accounts for several minutes,' said Madeline Kerestman, a 21-year-old pre-med student and social media influencer who goes on DND for chunks of the day. If you're busy working, a random alert hinders your progress more than you realize. A 2005 study out of the University of California at Irvine found that, on average, it takes around 23 minutes for most workers to get back on task after an interruption. It's not just her study flow state that Kerestman is trying to protect when she goes incommunicado, though. Like many on TikTok, Kerestman said using the feature is about 'protecting her peace.' More and more, she's trying to live in the moment rather than living for the dopamine rush of a new 'like' or comment. 'I constantly receive notifications from both TikTok and Instagram that notify me of new likes, comments, and followers,' she said. 'While I love this aspect of having a platform and being connected to others, it can really be stressful and distracting sometimes.' It's just a bonus that going on DND means dodging all the spam calls and texts the rest of us are getting hit by lately. It's pretty simple to go on DND. For Android users, swipe down from the Home screen to access the Notification Center, then swipe once more to expand the whole panel. Tap Do Not Disturb to toggle it on. If you have an iPhone, go to Settings > Focus > Do Not Disturb. Once there, you can set times where you want your phone to go on DND and specify a list of people who will be allowed to get through while all others are silenced. Gen Z clearly has a love-hate relationship with their phones. DND 24/7 is just more proof that Gen Z feels inundated by tech and wants to be more digitally minimalist in how they do things. In the last few years, some teens have gotten rid of their smartphones in favor of flip phones. On TiKTok, Gen Zers document what it's like to have a flip phone or share instructions on how to make an iPhone an app-lite 'dumb phone.' In 2022, The New York Times profiled the 'Luddite Group,' a bunch of New York City teens who read in Prospect Park with a strict 'no phone' rule. 'When I got my flip phone, things instantly changed,' one of the teens told the Times. 'I started using my brain. It made me observe myself as a person. I've been trying to write a book, too. It's like 12 pages now.' Chinedu Kenechukwu, a 24-year-old from Lagos, Nigeria, experiences phone wariness (and weariness) as well. 'I went on DND all day on most days last year,' she told HuffPost. 'I tend to be anxious sometimes, and incoming calls on my phone tend to increase that anxiety so I'd go on DND usually just to protect my peace.' These days, Kenechukwu doesn't have the function on, but she wouldn't hesitate to turn it back on during times of heightened stress. That's what it's there for. Lauren Larkin, a psychotherapist and founder of Lel Therapy, sees DND 24/7 as Gen Z's attempt to course-correct and renegotiate being Very Online and overly available. Instagram, BeReal and TikTok don't always need your attention. 'I could see Gen Z using DND as a tool to set boundaries,' she said. 'It helps create a sense of control over relationships that aren't serving them, either by being less accessible or having less access themselves to what others are doing.' For those with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, the DND function and carving out one designated time a day to respond can be a real game-changer. Those with ADHD often struggle to respond to texts (along with phone calls and emails) due to symptoms like forgetfulness, being overwhelmed or distractibility. DND gives them the chance to respond only when they're ready. One caveat we should mention: Setting your phone to DND when you're bothered by your notifications or you're setting boundaries is one thing, but there could be times where DND could be a sign of some deeper anxiety. 'If getting calls or texts makes you have racing thoughts that are difficult to control, a faster heart rate, sweating, shaking, trouble sleeping, nausea, those could be signs of an anxiety disorder,' Larkin said. If you're isolating, sleeping all the time (or hardly at all), aren't enjoying what you used to enjoy, and are feeling generally hopeless and that's why you're shutting your phone onto DND, that could be a sign of a depressive disorder. 'It's all about the why behind the choice,' she said. 'It's good to be curious about that so you can understand if it's a coping mechanism for something bigger.' Older generations may struggle to go on DND 24/7. If you're used to 'always-on' urgency culture, DND 24/7 can be hard to process. The DND users we spoke to said they've received some blowback from frustrated friends and family who've been unable to reach them. Some people find the trend a little obnoxious; online, people joke about how satisfying it is to 'hit 'notify anyway' to a DND Warrior.' Older generations may wonder 'why even have a phone then?' or freak out about what would happen in case of an emergency. 'My mom will always say, 'You are on your phone constantly! Why can you not answer a text in five minutes or pick up a call right away?' Kerestman said. 'I think generations assume that Gen Z and millennials are glued to their phones,' she said. 'While this may be true to a degree, I don't think it means we should be expected to respond within two seconds or constantly be checking our social media accounts.' Emily Cooper, a therapist in Seattle, Washington, is a zillennial, the 'micro-generation' of people born between 1993 and 1998. (They're too old to be considered Gen Zers and too young to be millennials.) Personally, she loves the DND feature. She always just assumes if someone really needs to get in touch with her, they'll call her back or she'll get to them when she gets to them. Her mom, a young Boomer, has a much different relationship with her phone. 'My mom will answer the phone just to say she can't talk,' Cooper said. 'I'm like, 'Then just don't answer your phone then!' She has gotten better at it, but will still text me one of the canned responses of 'Can I call you back?'' Cooper said with a laugh. The therapist wonders if part of the generational difference can be chalked up to the fact that phone calls and catching someone on the phone was more of a rarity back in the day. 'For that generation, it was almost like a delicacy,' she said. 'You had to be home at the right time, able to afford long distance, whereas for me, it's always been available so I don't really value it as much.' 'I'd rather answer quick questions or check-ins with a text at my convenience, and if it's something more serious, I'd rather do it in person than a phone call,' she said. 'I also simply don't have that many people who call me anymore.' Preferences may vary along generation divides, but Cooper thinks everyone could benefit from putting a premium on phone-less time: Studies have shown that notifications from phones actually release cortisol ― the bodies' stress hormone ― and leave our brains on 'high alert.' Our nervous systems truly need time to recover from those pings and vibrations we receive all day. 'Plus, I don't think anyone should have access to us 24/7, and expecting that is a little ... unrealistic,' Cooper said. 'People have lives: kids, school, work, family, friends.' Cooper thinks the only people who need around-the-clock access are parents and kids, but even then you can set up DND settings so those calls will go through. 'I think that's a good middle ground,' she said. 'Overall, in my experience, it's been really nice to feel in control and be able to 'opt into' to social media and text conversations instead of feeling like they are all being thrust upon me.' Related... What To Do If Group Texts Are Stressing You Out People Who Deleted Their Social Media Share What It's Like What It Means If You're A 'Paragraph Texter' How To Stop Reaching For Your Phone Right When You Wake Up Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
22-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
47 Photos That Will Transport You Back To Fighting Your Siblings For The Family Computer In The 2000s
POV: it's the 2000s. You get home from school, and you rush to the computer room (which was possibly just a big wooden desk in the living room). You boot it up, and world was at your fingertips. Kids today will never know the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of the 2000s internet. And you know what? I feel sorry for them. iPad kids WISH they could experience dial-up internet. In case you're as nostalgic for this time as I are 47 photos that will make you wish you were still haphazardly pressing cubes in Minesweeper. (Seriously, did anyone actually know how to play this?) was really nothing like bootin' up the PC and seeing this screen, along with whatever icon you'd picked to perfectly fit your vibe. then once you signed in, being greeted with this tranquil scene? Literally idyllic. could start out with one of those sweet, sweet, built-in games the PC had, like the aforementioned Minesweeper, or, even better, Space Cadet. was also a classic. things I created in MS Paint belong at the Met, and it's a travesty I don't have them anywhere. 6.I am positive that we ALL made a version of this at some point. more sophisticated creations, you could always open up KidPix. you were done making your masterpieces, you got to the real good stuff: AOL. 9.I can't even tell you how much I miss AOL Instant Messenger. It was SO much better than texting. 10.I could waste hours just talking to SmarterChild. playing around with my away message, picking the perfect font and ~deep~ song lyrics. of song had to set the mood! Though honestly, sometimes I'd get SO distracted by these cool graphics in Windows Media Player that I'd just stare at them as music played and forget to do anything else. 13.I feel like we never used headphones back then unless we were using a CD player, so full blast on these bad boys it was. Sorry, mom and dad. Related: I Hate To Say It, But I'm Pretty Sure Half Of Americans Won't Be Able To Pass This Extremely Easy Citizenship Test most of my music-related time was spent in one place: Limewire. (Don't tell the government.) 15.I was the QUEEN of burning CDs for my friends. I was once my sixth-grade class's go-to distributor of the High School Musical soundtrack. (Once again, don't tell the government.) I got more advanced, I could rip stuff from YouTube. Which, BTW, looked like this in 2006. No unskippable ads!! are the most watched videos on YouTube in 2007, if you were wondering what went viral back in the day. It was mostly babies laughing, Weird Al, and instantly quotable and totally random comedy videos like "Shoes" or "Muffins." All in all, it was a beautiful place. 18.I mean, it gave us masterpieces like this one and Charlie the Unicorn. before YouTube, we had ebaumsworld. I still remember my brother showing me Aisha, which is burned into my brain to this day. You can still visit and play the Impossible Quiz, though the site looks a lot different. can also still play Neopets, and it looks pretty much the same. had a go-to Neopet type, right? I always went with occasionally Wocky, Kau, or Scorchio, if I wanted to change things up. Related: 19 Things Society Glorifies That Are Actually Straight-Up Terrible, And We Need To Stop Pretending Otherwise always felt in a lot of ways like the successor to Neopets. Artie has always been a "hear me out" for me. can't forget Club Penguin, either. Remember when you'd ask random other penguins to be your boyfriend? No? Just me? 26.I feel like the user interface for sites was just more fun back then. Like, this was the site for Nickelodeon, and it was awesome. the one for Cartoon Network, if you were a Johnny Bravo kid. was even better. the games??? Top tier. Kim Possible one was definitely the best, though. MyScene website was also awesome. (You can still play a lot of these games!) cereals had some of the best online games in the 2000s. Remember Waffle's Jungle Adventure? (Which you can still play!) even made a whole, like, online world, complete with your own personalized avatar, that I was obsessed with. (Unfortunately, you can't still play this one). of online was ELITE. (You can also still play this one!!! It's a recreated version, but still.) are also computer games you can still play recreations of. If you miss Carmen know what to do. of course, The Sims is still around. But nothing beats those terrible graphics of that first game. did we all watch our Sims drown by making them go in the pool, then removing the ladder? Were we all little sadists? 38.I can't even legally speak of the horrors I inflicted on the guests of Roller Coaster Tycoon. 39.I was much more gentle with my Zoombinis. you spent too long contemplating a Zoombini puzzle, you might see this iconic screensaver. this one. this one, which I could watch for hours. the website visitor counter? I haven't thought about this in years. Yahoo pool, which was somehow better than playing on an actual pool table. signing off, you might've checked out titles on Netflix so you could beg your mom to order Shrek 2 for the next family movie night. Remember back when Netflix only consisted of physical DVDs? finally, after a long, fulfilling few hours of visiting your favorite sites and games, it was time for a dinner of Annie's mac and cheese and hot dogs, along with a bowl of broccoli your mom melted a piece of American cheese over. Or maybe that was just my family. in all...I miss those days. Also in Internet Finds: 15 Facebook Marketplace Items You'll Wish, From The Depths Of Your Soul, You Could Unsee Also in Internet Finds: 16 Hometown Crime Stories You Won't BELIEVE Actually Happened ( Won't Believe It) Also in Internet Finds: People Are Confessing Their Absolute Pettiest "Revenge Served Cold" Stories, And It's Deliciously Entertaining
New York Times
23-04-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
What's in Our Queue? ‘Paradise' and More
I'm a housing reporter, covering New York City's affordability crisis. I tend to be unpredictable with my choices around TV, books or music, but I'm often looking for something that feels meaningful. Here are five things I've recently enjoyed → I am a fan of Sterling K. Brown and James Marsden, and they're both great in this gripping show. I went in cold and think that knowing nothing about it made each episode that much more shocking and enjoyable. Just know there's murder and post-apocalypse vibes (and maybe a little nerd-ing out over housing). I am a sucker for coming-of-age movies. This one, about a Taiwanese American teenager growing up in the 2000s in Fremont, Calif., felt so similar to my own story: I grew up just a few miles away, a child of Indian immigrants. I particularly enjoyed all of the scenes involving AOL Instant Messenger. Every day, this account streams from a water tank in the Chiricahua Mountains in southern Arizona, capturing all the critters that stop by for sips. I love not knowing what will pop up. I've spotted many Pyrrhuloxias, roadrunners and javelinas. On one morning, it was a thirsty great horned owl. I initially avoided this movie because I'm not a cat person. My mistake. This story of how this cat and all its animal friends navigate a massive flood is well-paced, thought-provoking and visually beautiful. The lack of dialogue feels grounding. Stay for the capybara's heroics. I read a lot about neuroscience, mindfulness and behavior because I want to better understand how readers process and act on what we, as journalists, produce. This podcast ties many of these concepts together, and suggests many of us need to rethink what we know about addiction, willpower and resilience.
Yahoo
09-04-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
CNN Pundit Scorched For Condescending Dig About American Workers Not Wearing Ties
Conservative CNN pundit Scott Jennings made a dig about remote work and workplace attires, and it did not sit well with many online. During a Tuesday night segment of 'NewsNight with Abby Phillip,' the panelists each shared their — mainly lighthearted — takes on something they wish they could bring back from 'extinction.' Media personality and attorney Rachel Lindsay said she'd want to see an abundance of Blockbuster Video stores, while CNN chief media analyst Brian Stelter said he'd want to resurrect the AOL Instant Messenger away message feature. Jennings, for his part, opted to target American workers who have office jobs. 'America, I'm going to hold your hand while I say this,' he said as he looked directly at the camera. 'We're going back to the office five days a week, and we're going to wear business attire. We're no longer dressing like hobos, and we're no longer going to act like every job is a part-time job.' 'Go back to work, put on a tie, stop whining, let's get back to business,' he added. 'Start with Elon Musk,' panelist Ana Navarro-Cárdenas shot back, referencing President Donald Trump's billionaire adviser who's typically seen wearing a T-shirt and a 'Make America Great Again' cap at meetings at the White House. Jennings' comments reflect some of the negative attitudes people have had about remote work since its rise in the U.S. after the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Trump and Musk have recently mandated that federal employees return to the office, and some companies have either ended remote working options or have switched to a hybrid work policy after going fully remote in 2020. People on X, formerly Twitter, slammed Jennings for his remarks, with some saying he appeared to be centering male employees. 'I'm so sick of this notion that wearing a suit and being in a certain spot at certain times of the day is more of a priority than productivity and effectiveness in your job,' one X user wrote. 'Of course, it's always implied that work from home means 'don't do any work at all'. As if there aren't any mechanisms in place by employers to monitor if work is being done or not,' wrote another. One X user quipped, 'Who can afford ties now? While fully remote work may not, for several reasons, be suitable for every business or person, comments like Jennings' amplify negative stereotypes about people who work from home. But some research has linked remote work with increased overall productivity, while a 2023 Pew Research study found that a majority of people who can do their jobs remotely said that working from home helped them get work done and meet deadlines. Remote work has also helped make the workforce more inclusive for many people with disabilities. Jennings' quip about people needing to wear a tie comes off as 'condescending,' said Hallie Kritsas, a licensed mental health counselor and therapist with Thriveworks. Kritsas, who specializes in self-esteem, workplace issues and anxiety, told HuffPost that 'insinuating that someone who doesn't dress in a suit and tie is dressed like a 'hobo,' could come across as minimizing and condescending to many, positioning them as less worthy or capable due to what they wear.' 'It also devalues those in the workforce that are in a field that doesn't have a uniform, but definitely doesn't lend itself to a suit and tie,' she said, adding that his remarks send 'a message to people who may not be able to afford business attire that they do not belong in the workplace.' Kritsas pointed out that wearing certain outfits 'might not be feasible for someone with a disability or sensory/touch issues.' She also referenced the fact that suits (which can be viewed as a symbol of status) and certain dress codes often carry higher price tags — and that that can be exclusionary to those who can't afford it. 'It also suggests that one's attire makes them better than those who cannot afford to wear the same things,' she said, which can make workers 'feel inadequate.' She continued, 'Creating anxiety for workers around the topic of dress can actually have the opposite effect on productivity than leaders might hope for when pushing these blanket rules.' CNN's Diehard Trump Fan Scott Jennings Makes Surprising Confession On Tariffs Scott Jennings' Temper ERUPTS At Former Biden Official In Scary Outburst 'Really?': CNN Host Hits Back At House Republican's Eyebrow-Raising Trump Claim
Boston Globe
14-02-2025
- General
- Boston Globe
From crush to breakup: A parent's guide to teen relationships
Get Starting Point A guide through the most important stories of the morning, delivered Monday through Friday. Enter Email Sign Up I wish someone had told me that in 1998. Luckily, today's parents have Lisa A. Phillips, whose new ' Advertisement In honor of Valentine's Day, we talked about how parents can help their kids navigate first relationships with empathy and a little perspective. Sign up for Parenting Unfiltered. Globe staff #mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; } /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */ Subscribe * indicates required E-mail * Boundaries matter; social media ups the ante. Remember when you could set a cryptic AOL Instant Messenger away message and peace out? Social media means that today's kids are accessible all the time. Kids share charged information — and photos — in ways we never did. Even if a relationship happens largely online, it still warrants all the necessary cautions and boundaries, if not more. 'Online relationships can become very controlling. It's: 'Why did it take so long for you to get back to me?' A kid with a crush might text: 'I like you; do you like me?' If they don't get the answer they want: 'How about now?'' Phillips says. Advertisement Just because the behavior is online doesn't mean that kids should write it off. Plus, as more young people cope with mental health issues, Phillips sees more teenagers relying on partners — just kids themselves — for support. Parents should realize that first relationships are naturally intense, but there are ways to measure whether they're healthy. 'Acknowledging this baseline intensity is important, even though it's a hard thing for parents to deal with. They're basically looking at their kid's first attempt to replace their parent as their primary adapting figure, and that's pretty challenging stuff,' she says. If you worry that your child is trapped in a damaging relationship, ask: ''Does this person make you feel like a larger person — literally, an expanded person?' This touches on the self-expansion model of close relationships: In close relationships, we expand our resources and perspective. Or, 'Does this person make you feel smaller and like less of yourself?' This is a question that parents can engage with their children on, and it's also something parents can observe,' Phillips says. If your child experiences acute strife over a relationship — or its ending — take it seriously. Don't be afraid to bring it up out of short-term awkwardness or fear, because the alternative could be worse. "First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak" is being published Tuesdsay. 'This is a reality of relationships: They can be a factor in a mental health crisis and even suicidal thinking or even, horribly enough, the decision to die by suicide. We want to be able to take these things seriously,' she says. Advertisement Intense relationships aren't always damaging ones. A connection that might seem a bit overzealous to you might be an important developmental phase for your child. Unless your kid displays signs of depression, isolates from friends, or demonstrates other red flags, a level of fixation and bedazzlement is normal, and sometimes even beneficial. In her book, Phillips talks about a rural teenager, Elise, who chose her urban college based on where her boyfriend went to school. Her parents were aghast: Why was their daughter reshaping her life based on a high school relationship? Even though the relationship ultimately ended, moving to a larger city was healthy and opened up more possibilities; now an adult, Elise has no regrets. 'This question of 'too serious' or 'too intense' has a lot of nuance to it, and I think that it's a journey,' Phillips says. If you think that your kid is over-invested in the relationship — or putting all their 'eggs in one basket,' as my Nana used to say — remember that parents have the perspective of years, and we can help our kids take the long view by asking nonjudgmental questions. 'We have an advantage as parents because we see things retrospectively, while young people are imagining what their future is going to be. We can help them think about the story of their life as they'll tell it later: 'How am I going to explain this to myself later?'' she says. 'You're not telling them to break up: You're saying that your main purpose in life is to focus on what you're becoming. If another person holds too much sway, it may be a difficult thing to reckon with later, when you realize what you gave up.' Advertisement Breaking up is universally horrible; don't try to sugar coat it for your child. Still makes me cringe: My first breakup happened via email — then a novel way to communicate — on Valentine's Day after a three-year relationship that spanned high school into college. I remember logging into my Hotmail account from a massive Apple II GS and staring at the message with disbelief that melted into devastation. Much drama ensued, and I behaved like such a lunatic that I probably would've broken up with me, too. I thought I'd be miserable forever (I wasn't). I thought I'd never meet anyone else (I've been married for 19 years). My life was ruined. My parents were perplexed and, I have to admit, not very sympathetic. Why on Earth was someone with 'a lot going for her' (thanks again, Nana) making a fool of herself over a high school boyfriend? The more they told me to get over it and how great I was, the more pathetic and misunderstood I felt. Instead, 'The first step is always validation,' Phillips says. 'We tend to want to shrink our children's pain, because we know how painful it is. We want to bandage the skinned knee. But there's no way around this. Validate that this hurts, because love is so important to our world, and losing it is so important and so painful,' she says. Breakups can be especially tough on boys, Phillips says; don't assume that if your son is quiet, he doesn't care. Check in. 'Relationships are one place boys are 'allowed' to be vulnerable, and losing that can be a really big deal. They don't have the kind of natural networks of support that are more common in girl culture,' she says. Advertisement To help your lovelorn child, 'Think about what I call brain breaks: 'Let's go see a movie. Let's go for a hike,' if your child would do that with you. Or: 'I'm going to give you some money to go out with friends' — so they're not focusing on the relationship and just getting a break,' she says. Eventually, help your child make meaning from the heartbreak. Pick your spots, but when the time feels right, guide your kid toward framing the relationship as a lesson. 'It's helpful for parents to be aware that research shows that we recover from breakups better when we make meaning out of them and see them as growth experiences, which is a choice that you can help your child to make,' Phillips says. Ask: What do you think happened here? What type of person might you want to look for in the future? What did you learn about yourself? 'It's about assessing the gains and the losses of the situation, because young people [can] stay in this place of: 'I don't know why that happened; I must be a terrible person,'' she says. 'They don't have any kind of story around it — a story that shows that you can redeem the difficulty of the breakup by turning it to a story of personal growth.' Or, you know, into a parenting column. Kara Baskin can be reached at
