Latest news with #AskingEric
Yahoo
06-07-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Bride's Aunt Refuses to Attend Her Wedding Due to Labor Day Holiday Rush
A mother of the bride is calling out her sister for refusing to attend her daughter's wedding since it's over Labor Day weekend The mother turned to an advice column called "Asking Eric" to inquire if she should address her sister "who doesn't take criticism well at all' The advice columnist shared insight on how the frustrated mother of the bride should deal with the situationA bride's aunt has informed her family that she will be skipping her niece's wedding since it's over Labor Day weekend. The woman's reasons for not attending the wedding aren't because she'll be hitting the stores to take advantage of the deals, but because of the large crowds and potential delays that accompany the holiday weekend, her sister revealed. The woman's sister — and the mother of the bride — reached out to an advice column called "Asking Eric" to share that her daughter is getting married during a small intimate ceremony over Labor Day weekend. When she emailed her sister, who lives in Florida, to tell her of the wedding festivities, she automatically declined. 'She responded immediately that, since it is Labor Day weekend, she wouldn't be attending as she doesn't go anywhere on major holidays due to crowds and potential flight delays,' her sister claimed. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The woman added that she's extremely disappointed by her sister's decision to not attend her daughter's wedding over concerns of potential traffic. She also told the columnist that her sister has a tendency to try and control situations. 'It seems she is prioritizing her comfort over this joyous occasion,' the woman wrote. 'I don't know how to express this to her, if at all. She is something of a control freak, who doesn't take criticism well at all.' The 'sad sister,' as she referred to herself, asked the advice column expert if she should let it all go or if she should try and talk to her sister about her decline. The columnist responded to the woman pointing out that there are many ways around her sister's concerns of traveling during a national holiday. 'She can come early, if her work allows for it, for instance,' the columnist advised the woman. 'She can travel some or all of the way using means of transportation that aren't planes. Or she can make the trek for family.' He added that her sister may have already thought through all of her options making it possible for her to attend the wedding and avoid the discomforts of traveling during a holiday. The columnist further advised the mother of the bride to have a conversation with her sister where she tells her how she feels and shares that she really wants her there to see her daughter married. 'Start by expressing what you feel — you want her there, you're sad she can't make it, et cetera,' the advice columnist wrote. 'And then ask a question — is there any way that we can make this work? Would you like my help to make this easier?' An open-ended question will give her sister the opportunity to engage in conversation and potentially problem solve if she wishes to. 'She may still choose to stay home, but by having a conversation with her that starts with your openness to hear her and respect her opinion, you may find a solution that's not too laborious,' the columnist concluded. Read the original article on People
Chicago Tribune
21-02-2025
- General
- Chicago Tribune
Asking Eric: First wife's ashes are in a box in our garage
Dear Eric: I have been married to my husband for 16 years and we have a wonderful, blended family. Our kids are now grown (ages 26-35). My husband's first wife died of a drug overdose/swimming accident 23 years ago. They were in the process of a divorce at the time. Her ashes are in a box in our garage. Many times, over the years, they were going to spread her ashes somewhere, but it never fully happened. Some of the ashes were spread at various locations that she loved. I don't want the rest in my house anymore, but I don't know what to ask for. I have always been OK with, and supportive of, stories about her being shared, pictures of her in the house, a stocking hung with her name on it at Christmas, etc. But it feels like after 23 years, something should be done with her ashes other than sitting in an old box on a shelf in our garage. It feels disrespectful of me and disrespectful to her memory. Would it be bad or insensitive to ask my husband to put the ashes in four small urns and give one to each of her four children? None of them own their own home, so they would have to pack this urn and move it with them every time they move. – Resting Place Dear Place: The urns are a great idea, and a beautiful way to honor her memory for the children. But I'd pause before making the ask, just to make sure all your intentions line up with your actions. It's not especially uncommon for people to struggle when figuring out what to do with a loved one's ashes. We don't always have set ceremonies around their dispersal like we do with funerals and burials. Moreover, it sounds like your family has made attempts, but something kept them from finishing this ritual. Maybe it was emotional, maybe it was logistical. Try, as best you can, to separate the remaining ashes from anyone's feelings about you. I know this is complicated, too. But the presence of your husband's former wife's ashes in your garage is not about you. If you can start to see this as something that the family – you included – is still working on dealing with, you'll be in a good position to talk to your husband empathetically about moving the ashes from the box to the urns. And, if he's receptive, you'll both want to talk with the kids about whether an urn is something they'd want. Other options include custom rocks or jewelry made from the ashes. It's possible no one quite knows what they're supposed to do, so a family conversation will be illuminating and helpful. But that can only happen if it starts from a place of curiosity rather than annoyance. Dear Eric: I saw myself in an Asking Eric column from Nov. 5, 2024. 'Perplexed Friend' was confused after he reached out to a friend who was in crisis, but did not get the response he desired, or any response. When I was 45, I lost my husband of 18 years to cancer. It was painful and swift. I was paralyzed with grief even though I tried to put on a good face. Both friends and family reached out, sent flowers, gifts, cards and offered to pick up my dry cleaning. I did not respond. I literally could not function. That was nearly 30 years ago, and I am ashamed of myself. I wish I could go back and fix it. But I can't. However, those acts of kindness were what sustained me through the awfulness our family was facing. What I would say to 'Perplexed Friend' is this: You reached out to comfort your friend because you care about her, not because you needed a thank-you note. You wanted to help her try to move on. And you did. That's what your friend is trying to do. We all handle grief differently – and some of us do better than others. – Wish I Could Go Back Dear Wish: Thank you for sharing your story and your support with the letter writer. If I may: a piece of unsolicited advice. Please try to forgive yourself and let go of the shame you're feeling over the way you responded 30 years ago. As you write, we all handle grief differently. And I would amend your last sentence thusly: there is no right way to do it. You handled the unimaginable in a way that helped you get through each day. I feel confident that those who love you and care for you understood any non-response or have come to understand it through their own grief processes. You don't have to do it over again; you did what you needed to do, and it was enough.
Washington Post
21-02-2025
- General
- Washington Post
Asking Eric: My husband's ex-wife's ashes are still in the garage
Dear Eric: I have been married to my husband for 16 years and we have a wonderful, blended family. Our kids are now grown (ages 26-35). My husband's first wife died of a drug overdose/swimming accident 23 years ago. They were in the process of a divorce at the time. Her ashes are in a box in our garage. Many times, over the years, they were going to spread her ashes somewhere, but it never fully happened. Some of the ashes were spread at various locations that she loved. I don't want the rest in my house anymore, but I don't know what to ask for. I have always been okay with, and supportive of, stories about her being shared, pictures of her in the house, a stocking hung with her name on it at Christmas, etc. But it feels like after 23 years, something should be done with her ashes other than sitting in an old box on a shelf in our garage. It feels disrespectful of me and disrespectful to her memory. Would it be bad or insensitive to ask my husband to put the ashes in four small urns and give one to each of her four children? None of them own their own home, so they would have to pack this urn and move it with them every time they move. — Resting Place Place: The urns are a great idea, and a beautiful way to honor her memory for the children. But I'd pause before making the ask, just to make sure all your intentions line up with your actions. It's not especially uncommon for people to struggle when figuring out what to do with a loved one's ashes. We don't always have set ceremonies around their dispersal like we do with funerals and burials. Moreover, it sounds like your family has made attempts, but something kept them from finishing this ritual. Maybe it was emotional, maybe it was logistical. Try, as best you can, to separate the remaining ashes from anyone's feelings about you. I know this is complicated, too. But the presence of your husband's former wife's ashes in your garage is not about you. If you can start to see this as something that the family — you included — is still working on dealing with, you'll be in a good position to talk to your husband empathetically about moving the ashes from the box to the urns. And, if he's receptive, you'll both want to talk with the kids about whether an urn is something they'd want. Other options include custom rocks or jewelry made from the ashes. It's possible no one quite knows what they're supposed to do, so a family conversation will be illuminating and helpful. But that can only happen if it starts from a place of curiosity rather than annoyance. Dear Eric: I saw myself in an Asking Eric column from Nov. 5, 2024. 'Perplexed Friend' was confused after he reached out to a friend who was in crisis, but did not get the response he desired, or any response. When I was 45, I lost my husband of 18 years to cancer. It was painful and swift. I was paralyzed with grief even though I tried to put on a good face. Both friends and family reached out, sent flowers, gifts, cards and offered to pick up my dry cleaning. I did not respond. I literally could not function. That was nearly 30 years ago, and I am ashamed of myself. I wish I could go back and fix it. But I can't. However, those acts of kindness were what sustained me through the awfulness our family was facing. What I would say to 'Perplexed Friend' is this: You reached out to comfort your friend because you care about her, not because you needed a thank-you note. You wanted to help her try to move on. And you did. That's what your friend is trying to do. We all handle grief differently — and some of us do better than others. — Wish I Could Go Back Wish: Thank you for sharing your story and your support with the letter writer. If I may: a piece of unsolicited advice. Please try to forgive yourself and let go of the shame you're feeling over the way you responded 30 years ago. As you write, we all handle grief differently. And I would amend your last sentence thusly: there is no right way to do it. You handled the unimaginable in a way that helped you get through each day. I feel confident that those who love you and care for you understood any nonresponse or have come to understand it through their own grief processes. You don't have to do it over again; you did what you needed to do, and it was enough. (Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@ or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at 2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
