06-07-2025
- Business
- Irish Independent
‘No-one ever thinks they're an arsehole – they think you're the problem' – why listening is key to getting the best out of your work team
'I've never met a single person who thinks they're an arsehole,' he explained during our Zoom chat. 'People may act in difficult ways sometimes – but if you really listen, you'll usually find they're just dealing with pressure, stress, or a different perspective than yours. It doesn't help to label someone. It helps to understand them.'
It's this refreshingly human approach that sets James apart. Founder of Impactful PM, James helps teams reduce stress and improve performance in practical, people-focused ways. But his journey to get here wasn't easy – or linear.
Back in 2016, James was like many driven professionals – smart, hard-working, and juggling multiple projects through sheer grit and long hours. Until everything came crashing down.
'I ended up in hospital,' he said. 'I'd been running too hard for too long, just working and pushing. I thought effort alone would be enough, but it wasn't. It was burnout.'
That moment became a turning point. 'I realised I'd been doing it all wrong,' He decided to rewire his thinking – and his career.
Instead of simply reacting to whatever came his way, James became intentional about learning.
He studied project management more deeply and also dug into things like agile methodologies, behavioural psychology, design thinking and facilitation.
'I wanted to understand not just what we do in projects, but how we work with people.'
This new mindset helped James progress quickly. He became head of project management competency at a major bank, where he worked with highly experienced teams on complex challenges. In 2018, a head-hunter approached him to apply for a chief information officer role at a major Irish company. He got the job.
The more you build their capabilities, the more opportunities they'll unlock
'There was one problem. I didn't know how to be a CIO. But I had a growth mindset. So I got three books about being a CIO, read them, and got on with it.'
He shifted his leadership approach, moving away from trying to do everything himself.
'Now I lead through what I call 'Coach, Delegate, Teach.' You help your team learn, then let them fly. The more you build their capabilities, the more opportunities they'll unlock – for themselves and the organisation.'
In 2022, James wrote a book titled, Leading Impactful Teams and launched his business. Since then, he's been working with top companies across Ireland to help their teams avoid the kind of pressure and burnout he experienced.
Here are a few of his top tips:
Start with Prioritisation
'The most important thing in any project – or job – is prioritising,' James says. He draws inspiration from an unlikely source: Disney's The Jungle Book.
'When I was in hospital, my brother sent me a video of himself singing The Bare Necessities to his little boy. There's a line where Baloo the Bear talks about picking a pear with a claw, or better yet, a paw-paw. It's all about choosing the easier, juicier option.'
He uses it to illustrate how we should think about effort vs value.
'A paw-paw is high value, low effort. A prickly pear is high effort, low value. Too often, people are stuck doing hard, low-value stuff. If you can line up work based on what's worth doing, you'll feel less overwhelmed and get better results.'
Use the SAVE Technique
James also has a technique for getting better ideas from teams – especially in meetings dominated by what he calls 'the Hippo' – the Highest Paid Person's Opinion.
'Leaders often ask, 'How do I get my team to take ownership and give their ideas?' The answer is: shut up. Create space.'
His technique works like this: Silent writing: Give everyone Post-its and a marker, then pose a question (e.g. 'What are the risks on this project?') and have them write down answers in silence.
Affinity clustering: Group similar ideas together.
Voting: Everyone votes on what's most important.
Execution: You now have a prioritised list you can act on.
'I find it gets quieter voices heard and ensures that everyone contributes – not just the confident or the senior ones.'
So what about difficult people? That brings us back to James's eye-catching quote.
'I'm often asked how to deal with someone who's hard to work with. But I've never met anyone who sees themselves as a problem. They think you're the problem! The key is to listen.'
He recommends not just talking about problems but sometimes talking about how you talk. 'If the conversation isn't working, zoom out. Ask, 'Can we take a step back and chat about how we're approaching this?' If that's still not working, talk about the relationship itself – maybe over a coffee. Connection must come first.'
Share the Risk
James also teaches teams to rethink how they handle risk. 'Too often, project managers are left holding the weight of everything that could go wrong. That's not fair – and it's not smart.'
He calls this, 'contingency with context'. That means naming the risk, outlining the possible impact, and involving others in the solution.
'It shifts the dynamic from 'you vs me' to 'you and me vs the problem.' Much healthier.'
'I think people are amazing,' he says. 'If you give them the right tools and take some of the pressure off, they'll shine.'