Latest news with #BellaDePaulo
Yahoo
06-07-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Women Who Live Alone Are Sharing The Home Safety Tips That Help Them Sleep Easier At Night, And I'm Absolutely Taking Notes
Bella DePaulo, a 71-year-old author and social psychologist, has lived alone her entire adult life. Related: As the author of books like Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, she's become a bit of an evangelist for solo living. When she hears other women at book talks or at parties discuss how fulfilling it is to live alone, she doesn't need to be convinced. 'I love the complete freedom to sleep when I want and get up when I want, to eat what I want and when I want, and to find that whatever I put in the refrigerator the night before is still there the next day,' she told HuffPost. 'My place is always exactly as warm or as cool as I want it to be. And the toilet seat is always down,' she joked. The hand reaching for the thermostat. Concept of smart home. The number of women living alone has grown in DePaulo's time. In 2022, 15.7% of all households in the United States consisted of a woman living alone, compared to 11.5% in 1970. She loves it, but she gets it's not for everyone. There are certainly financial constraints ― in 2025, it's not uncommon for people well beyond their 20s or college years to live with roommates because of housing costs, especially in cities. But other women shy away from living alone out of concern for their safety — understandably so. Everyday activities that men often take for granted ― going on a walk in the evening, even in a busy public place, opening your door after a late night out ― can be depressingly dangerous for women. Related: That said, DePaulo and other women who've lived alone say there are ways to heighten your safety at home. 'Don't let fear ruin what can be a deeply fulfilling experience,' she said. 'I've been in different neighborhoods in Virginia, Florida, and now in California, and it's rare for me to feel remotely unsafe. A home of your own can be comfortable, peaceful, and safe, maybe even sacred.' We recently asked women who live alone to share their best security tips, from their own lived experiences. See what they had to say below. Introduce yourself and trade phone numbers with your neighbors. 'The biggest tip I can suggest is to get to know your neighbors. Getting to know mine has made me feel so safe. Not only have they become great friends, but they are also extra security when I'm not home. They're always looking out for me, and I do the same for them. It's really taught me how important community is when living alone.' ― Celeste Polanco, a lifestyle influencer Related: Be mindful of what you (and even friends who visit) share online. 'As someone who shares moments of my life publicly, I've learned that boundaries around what ― and when ― I share are non-negotiable. I don't share the local things in my neighborhood or any landmarks. I'm very mindful about sharing the view from my windows or anyone that may work in or around my building. These rules are shared with my friends and family when they visit as well. The outside and inside of my buildings are off-limits. And I ask them to be mindful of geo-tagging because you never know who is watching.' ― Denise Francis, the founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization INC, a digital wellness platform for Black women Related: Install a security camera by your door. 'Having a security camera like a Ring gives me so much peace of mind. I can see who's at my door, and even check in when I'm not home. It's a simple upgrade that makes a huge difference in feeling safe and aware.' ― Emily Sanchez, the owner of the online plant shop Classy Casita Get a pet, if you can. 'Nothing is better than coming home to something cute that's happy you're home and relies on you.' ― Maia Milas, a writer and photographer Take self-defense classes. 'Even if you only sit in on a few sessions, know the basics of defending yourself physically and practice the moves to develop muscle memory. In a panic, you hopefully can resort to what you've learned, which only comes with practice.' ― Milas Have a few small habits that make you feel secure. 'For me, that's double-checking locks on my doors and windows before bed and maybe keeping something for self-defense by the door. It's not about being scared to live alone, it's about feeling in control of your space and having peace of mind.' ― Sanchez Have an emergency contact. 'Make sure you have an emergency contact. A reliable one. Someone who is likely to answer the phone when you call or come to the door when you knock. I had a neighbor who I called once to come over and make sure I didn't fall asleep after I got a concussion. Some things you just can't do alone, and require immediate assistance.' ― Milas This article originally appeared in HuffPost. Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful:
Buzz Feed
06-07-2025
- Lifestyle
- Buzz Feed
Women Who Live Alone Share The Home Safety Tips That Help Them Sleep Easier At Night
Bella DePaulo, a 71-year-old author and social psychologist, has lived alone her entire adult life. As the author of books like Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, she's become a bit of an evangelist for solo living. When she hears other women at book talks or at parties discuss how fulfilling it is to live alone, she doesn't need to be convinced. 'I love the complete freedom to sleep when I want and get up when I want, to eat what I want and when I want, and to find that whatever I put in the refrigerator the night before is still there the next day,' she told HuffPost. 'My place is always exactly as warm or as cool as I want it to be. And the toilet seat is always down,' she joked. The number of women living alone has grown in DePaulo's time. In 2022, 15.7% of all households in the United States consisted of a woman living alone, compared to 11.5% in 1970. She loves it, but she gets it's not for everyone. There are certainly financial constraints ― in 2025, it's not uncommon for people well beyond their 20s or college years to live with roommates because of housing costs, especially in cities. But other women shy away from living alone out of concern for their safety — understandably so. Everyday activities that men often take for granted ― going on a walk in the evening, even in a busy public place, opening your door after a late night out ― can be depressingly dangerous for women. That said, DePaulo and other women who've lived alone say there are ways to heighten your safety at home. 'Don't let fear ruin what can be a deeply fulfilling experience,' she said. 'I've been in different neighborhoods in Virginia, Florida, and now in California, and it's rare for me to feel remotely unsafe. A home of your own can be comfortable, peaceful, and safe, maybe even sacred.' We recently asked women who live alone to share their best security tips, from their own lived experiences. See what they had to say below. Introduce yourself and trade phone numbers with your neighbors. 'The biggest tip I can suggest is to get to know your neighbors. Getting to know mine has made me feel so safe. Not only have they become great friends, but they are also extra security when I'm not home. They're always looking out for me, and I do the same for them. It's really taught me how important community is when living alone.' ― Celeste Polanco, a lifestyle influencer Be mindful of what you (and even friends who visit) share online. 'As someone who shares moments of my life publicly, I've learned that boundaries around what ― and when ― I share are non-negotiable. I don't share the local things in my neighborhood or any landmarks. I'm very mindful about sharing the view from my windows or anyone that may work in or around my building. These rules are shared with my friends and family when they visit as well. The outside and inside of my buildings are off-limits. And I ask them to be mindful of geo-tagging because you never know who is watching.' ― Denise Francis, the founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization INC, a digital wellness platform for Black women Install a security camera by your door. 'Having a security camera like a Ring gives me so much peace of mind. I can see who's at my door, and even check in when I'm not home. It's a simple upgrade that makes a huge difference in feeling safe and aware.' ― Emily Sanchez, the owner of the online plant shop Classy Casita Get a pet, if you can. 'Nothing is better than coming home to something cute that's happy you're home and relies on you.' ― Maia Milas, a writer and photographer Take self-defense classes. 'Even if you only sit in on a few sessions, know the basics of defending yourself physically and practice the moves to develop muscle memory. In a panic, you hopefully can resort to what you've learned, which only comes with practice.' ― Milas Have a few small habits that make you feel secure. 'For me, that's double-checking locks on my doors and windows before bed and maybe keeping something for self-defense by the door. It's not about being scared to live alone, it's about feeling in control of your space and having peace of mind.' ― Sanchez Have an emergency contact. 'Make sure you have an emergency contact. A reliable one. Someone who is likely to answer the phone when you call or come to the door when you knock. I had a neighbor who I called once to come over and make sure I didn't fall asleep after I got a concussion. Some things you just can't do alone, and require immediate assistance.' ― Milas
Yahoo
17-06-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Why Women Who Appear 'Strong' Often Feel Emotionally Neglected
You've got it all handled, right? From juggling work deadlines to managing social engagements, your life looks picture-perfect from the outside. But beneath that polished exterior, the weight of emotional neglect can quietly press down on you. Here's a deeper dive into why being perceived as "strong" can sometimes lead to feeling unseen and unheard. You've mastered the art of doing it all. People look to you as the ultimate symbol of independence, but this perception can be deceivingly isolating. Independence, while empowering, often prevents others from seeing the full spectrum of your emotional needs. In her research, psychologist Bella DePaulo found that society often equates independence with self-sufficiency, ignoring the nuanced needs for emotional support. The irony is that your self-reliance can become a double-edged sword. While you're busy managing everything on your own, others assume you need nothing from them. This assumption can deepen the void where connection should be, leaving your emotional needs unaddressed. The reality is, everyone needs someone, even those who seem to have it all together. In a world that celebrates strength, admitting vulnerability feels like a radical act. "I'm fine" becomes your go-to response, a shield against probing questions. Those two words, while convenient, can strip away authentic connections. People believe your facade, rarely digging deeper, and you are left carrying burdens that aren't meant to be shouldered alone. This habit of minimizing your struggles teaches people that you don't need help. Over time, it conditions them not to ask, further entrenching the cycle of emotional neglect. It's a paradox where the more you demonstrate strength, the less likely others are to offer support. Being 'fine' becomes a lonely space where genuine needs are left unmet. Strong women often find themselves trapped under constant performance pressure. You are expected to excel at everything—career, relationships, personal goals—without missing a beat. This relentless expectation can be emotionally exhausting, leaving little room for self-care or genuine expression. According to Dr. Brené Brown, the pursuit of perfection is often rooted in the fear of being unworthy, yet it disconnects you from authentic relationships. When performance becomes your identity, you end up neglecting the softer parts of yourself. Those parts that crave empathy and understanding get pushed aside. Others may see only your accomplishments, failing to glimpse the person behind the achievements. This creates a cycle where emotional needs are buried under the weight of expectations. In the curated world of social media, strength is often glamorized. You post the highlights—career wins, social outings, perfectly filtered snapshots of life. This creates an illusion of perpetual success and contentment. What isn't shown are the moments of doubt, loneliness, or yearning for deeper connection. Your online persona can inadvertently signal to others that you have it all figured out. This can discourage them from reaching out or offering support, assuming you don't need it. The truth behind the screen is that you're just as human as anyone else, with a complex tapestry of emotions. The digital facade can deepen feelings of isolation, as the world sees an edited version of your reality. Beneath your strength lies a multitude of sacrifices that often go unnoticed. You've given up moments of vulnerability to maintain the image of having it all together. These sacrifices, while seemingly small, accumulate over time, leaving little room for emotional fulfillment. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships highlights how women often deprioritize their own needs for the sake of others. Every sacrifice made in silence chips away at your emotional well-being. The unseen efforts you invest in maintaining relationships or careers are rarely acknowledged. This lack of recognition can feel like an emotional void, leaving you questioning if your efforts are truly valued. Emotional neglect isn't always overt; sometimes, it's the subtle lack of validation that stings the most. True strength is often misunderstood, equated with an absence of emotional needs. This misconception can lead others to dismiss your feelings, assuming you can handle anything. It places you on a pedestal that's isolating rather than empowering. The strength you project becomes a barrier, preventing genuine connections. Others may unintentionally distance themselves, believing you don't require support. This misunderstanding can leave you feeling unseen, as your emotional landscape goes unrecognized. There's a quiet loneliness in being the one who always 'has it together.' Beneath the surface, you long for acknowledgment of your complex emotional life. You might hesitate to express your emotional needs, fearing you'll be seen as a burden. This fear is rooted in societal expectations that praise resilience over vulnerability. Clinical psychologist Dr. Tanya Byron explains that the fear of burdening others often silences those who long for connection. The irony is that vulnerability enhances relationships, yet the fear of rejection keeps you silent. This fear creates a cycle where your needs remain unspoken and unmet. You internalize the belief that your struggles are yours alone to bear. Over time, this isolation reinforces feelings of emotional neglect. Breaking the cycle requires courage to voice needs and a willingness to risk vulnerability in pursuit of genuine connection. The mask of strength is a familiar one for you, worn to protect and to project. But behind it lies an emotional landscape yearning for acknowledgment. The mask might shield you from judgment, yet it also prevents others from seeing your full humanity. It's a delicate balance between protecting yourself and wanting to be truly seen. When you constantly wear this mask, you deny yourself the depth of genuine connections. Your emotional world becomes a hidden realm, inaccessible to those who might offer support. While the mask provides temporary protection, it can lead to long-term loneliness. True strength lies in daring to remove the mask and risking vulnerability. Resilience is often mistaken for invulnerability, a misconception that can be both exhausting and isolating. People see your ability to bounce back and assume you're impervious to emotional wounds. This perception overlooks the fact that resilience is not an endless resource. Even the strongest need space to process emotions and heal. The expectation of constant resilience can prevent others from offering support. They assume you're always okay, leading to a lack of emotional outreach. This can leave you feeling isolated, with your emotional needs consistently unmet. True resilience is not about never needing help; it's about knowing when to seek it. Being seen as strong often comes with the heavy burden of expectations. You're expected to be the rock, the one others lean on, never faltering. This role can be exhausting, leaving little room for your own emotional needs. The pressure to maintain this persona can lead to an internalized sense of neglect. Living up to these expectations means denying yourself the grace to falter. It's a cycle where your needs are perpetually sidelined for the sake of maintaining appearances. Others may not realize the toll these expectations take on your emotional well-being. Behind the strong exterior, you may feel like you're constantly treading water, longing for relief. Sometimes, the strongest cries for help are the quietest. You may not verbalize your needs, but the signs are there—subtle shifts in mood, withdrawn behavior, or silent struggles. These signals often go unnoticed by those around you, perpetuating the cycle of emotional neglect. The strength you project can overshadow the silent cries for support. This silence can become a heavy burden, as your unvoiced needs remain unaddressed. The paradox is that those who appear the strongest often need the most support. Recognizing and addressing these silent cries requires empathy and attention from those around you. It's a reminder that even the strongest need someone to lean on. The myth of having it all together is a relentless one. It's the image you project, yet it rarely reflects the complexities of your emotional world. This myth can prevent others from offering support, assuming you have no unmet needs. The truth is, the facade of perfection often hides a very human need for connection and understanding. Maintaining this myth can feel like a balancing act, where one misstep risks revealing the truth. It's an isolating experience, as others remain unaware of your emotional struggles. The myth becomes a barrier, preventing authentic connections and perpetuating emotional neglect. Breaking free requires vulnerability and a willingness to share your true self. In the pursuit of strength, validation often becomes a double-edged sword. You seek external affirmation of your capabilities, yet it can feel hollow if not accompanied by emotional support. The validation you crave isn't just about achievements; it's about being seen for who you truly are. Without this recognition, emotional neglect can quietly fester. This quest for validation often leads to a cycle of overachievement, where your emotional needs remain overshadowed by accomplishments. It's a paradox where the more you achieve, the less validated you feel on a personal level. Emotional neglect thrives in the absence of genuine recognition and understanding. Seeking validation is not about ego; it's about wanting to be seen and valued for your full self.
Yahoo
17-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Women Who Live Alone Share The Home Safety Tips That Help Them Sleep Easier At Night
Bella DePaulo, a 71-year-old author and social psychologist, has lived alone her entire adult life. As the author of books like 'Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life,' she's become a bit of an evangelist for solo living. When she hears other women at book talks or at parties discuss how fulfilling it is to live alone, she doesn't need to be convinced. 'I love the complete freedom to sleep when I want and get up when I want, to eat what I want and when I want, and to find that whatever I put in the refrigerator the night before is still there the next day,' she told HuffPost. 'My place is always exactly as warm or as cool as I want it to be. And the toilet seat is always down,' she joked. The number of women living alone has grown in DePaulo's time. In 2022, 15.7% of all households in the United States consisted of a woman living alone, compared to 11.5% in 1970. She loves it, but she gets it's not for everyone. There are certainly financial constraints ― in 2025, it's not uncommon for people well beyond their 20s or college years to live with roommates because of housing costs, especially in cities. But other women shy away from living alone out of concern for their safety — understandably so. Everyday activities that men often take for granted ― going on a walk in the evening, even in a busy public place, opening your door after a late night out ― can be depressingly dangerous for women. That said, DePaulo and other women who've lived alone say there are ways to heighten your safety at home. 'Don't let fear ruin what can be a deeply fulfilling experience,' she said. 'I've been in different neighborhoods in Virginia, Florida, and now in California, and it's rare for me to feel remotely unsafe. A home of your own can be comfortable, peaceful, and safe, maybe even sacred.' We recently asked women who live alone to share their best security tips, from their own lived experiences. See what they had to say below. 'The biggest tip I can suggest is to get to know your neighbors. Getting to know mine has made me feel so safe. Not only have they become great friends, but they are also extra security when I'm not home. They're always looking out for me and I do the same for them. It's really taught me how important community is when living alone.' ―Celeste Polanco, a lifestyle influencer 'As someone who shares moments of my life publicly, I've learned that boundaries around what ― and when ― I share are non-negotiable. I don't share the local things in my neighborhood or any landmarks. I'm very mindful about sharing the view from my windows or anyone that may work in or around my building. These rules are shared with my friends and family when they visit as well. The outside and inside of my buildings are off limits. And I ask them to be mindful of geo-tagging because you never know who is watching.' ―Denise Francis, the founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization INC, a digital wellness platform for Black women 'Having a security camera like a Ring gives me so much peace of mind. I can see who's at my door, and even check in when I'm not home. It's a simple upgrade that makes a huge difference in feeling safe and aware.' ― Emily Sanchez, the owner of the online plant shop Classy Casita 'Nothing is better than coming home to something cute that's happy you're home and relies on you.' ―Maia Milas, a writer and photographer 'Even if you only sit in on a few sessions, know the basics of defending yourself physically and practice the moves to develop muscle memory. In a panic, you hopefully can resort to what you've learned, which only comes with practice.' ― Milas 'For me, that's double-checking locks on my doors and windows before bed and maybe keeping something for self defense by the door. It's not about being scared to live alone, it's about feeling in control of your space and having peace of mind.' ― Sanchez 'Make sure you have an emergency contact. A reliable one. Someone who is likely to answer the phone when you call or come to the door when you knock. I had a neighbor who I called once to come over and make sure I didn't fall asleep after I got a concussion. Some things you just can't do alone, and require immediate assistance.' ― Milas More Women Are Saying No To Motherhood. Will Society Ever Listen? 'Boysober' And Celibate By Choice: Why These Women Are Swearing Off Sex 11 Solo Trip Locations Around The World Where Women Feel Really Safe
Yahoo
08-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
The Wild Ways Today's Couples Are Redefining Commitment In 2025
In 2025, commitment doesn't look like it used to—and that's by design. Marriage is no longer the default, monogamy isn't assumed, and couples are rewriting the rulebook to better reflect how they actually live, love, and evolve. Whether it's through tech-enabled intimacy contracts, long-distance cohabitation, or non-linear relationship arcs, today's partners are choosing connection on their own terms—and rejecting the scripts they were handed. From Forever to Fluid The 'forever' narrative is losing steam. A recent Pew Research Center survey found that only 43% of Gen Z and Millennials believe marriage is essential for a successful life, a drop from previous generations. Instead, couples are opting for renewable relationship contracts that get revisited annually. Think: emotional prenups, flexible timelines, and built-in checkpoints to assess satisfaction and goals. It's not cynical—it's conscious. Solo Spaces, Shared Love Living together? Not required. Many modern couples are embracing LAT (Living Apart Together) relationships. Whether for mental health, career flexibility, or just personal space, separate addresses no longer spell trouble. In fact, some psychologists argue that LAT can actually foster more intimacy and autonomy. As Dr. Bella DePaulo stated, 'Togetherness is not one-size-fits-all. It's about the quality of connection, not the quantity of cohabitation.' Emotional Monogamy, Sexual Fluidity In 2025, many couples are ditching the binary of monogamous vs. polyamorous. Instead, emotional exclusivity is being prioritized, while sexual exploration is negotiated with nuance. 'We're seeing more couples discuss their boundaries with radical transparency,' says sex therapist Vanessa Marin. 'It's not about cheating—it's about designing a sex life that reflects your values, not your fears' (source). Money Talks (And Contracts Walk) Finances have become their own love language. Instead of merging everything, many couples maintain financial independence with side-by-side bank accounts and mutual spreadsheets. Others draw up relationship contracts that outline responsibilities, goals, and even exit plans. It's not transactional—it's transparent. According to a 2024 Bankrate report, 61% of couples say financial autonomy actually improves trust. AI as a Third Party Believe it or not, artificial intelligence is joining the chat. AI therapists and relationship bots are helping couples mediate conflict, track emotional patterns, and even offer guided conversation prompts. Apps like Paired and Relish now include AI-generated insights based on partner data. 'It's like having a nonjudgmental couples therapist in your pocket,' said one user. Queering the Love Script Queer couples have long modeled relationship diversity—now, the mainstream is catching up. Terms like 'relationship anarchy' and 'platonic life partners' are entering the cultural lexicon, as more people embrace love that transcends labels. Friendship-based partnerships, multi-partner dynamics, and aromantic arrangements are gaining visibility and validity. The Takeaway? Build Your Own Blueprint The future of commitment isn't less serious—it's more intentional. In 2025, love is no longer defined by white dresses, picket fences, or legal status. It's defined by clarity, communication, and co-creation. Whether that means a decade-long situationship, a co-parenting pact without romance, or a yearly love audit, today's couples are proving that the most meaningful relationships are the ones they invent for themselves.
