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‘Sold at 12, mother by 15': America's hidden shame, child brides the law still fails to protect

In a thought-provoking conversation with Firstpost's Bhagyasree Sengupta, survivor Kate Yang exposes the ongoing crisis of child marriage in the US, where outdated laws still fail to protect vulnerable girls from abuse, trauma, and stolen childhoods—even after a quarter of the 21st century. read more Child marriage, a centuries-old social evil, continues to interrupt the lives of children, especially girls. UNICEF data show that nearly one in five girls is still married off before they celebrate their 18th birthday. India is home to half of all child brides. But India has a national law that bans child marriage, and has set a target of eliminating the practice by 2030. Sociologists link child marriage to low economic status. However, the same cannot be said about the United States of America — the country, touted as the most developed and civilised superpower in the world. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD As the US marked its 249th year of independence on the 4th of July, it is time to recall that only 15 out of 50 states of America prohibit child marriage. The figure looks worse if one goes back in time. Until the year 2017, child marriage was legal across the US under certain conditions: If the parents or a judge consented, or if the minor was pregnant or had a child. One of the survivors of child marriage is Kate Yang. She was sold into child marriage and 'slavery' in Washington by her family at just the age of 12. For the record, slavery is banned in the US — the country waged a civil war before it outlawed the practice. Kate had her first son at 15 and her second at 17 before she could gather courage and get out of her imprisonment, which was filled with abuse. Kate has been lobbying and advocating to ensure that child marriage is banned in the United States. However, the journey is not that simple. She and the organisations she works with have been struggling to get support for their bill to ban child marriage. While they saw success in states like Washington and Virginia, their efforts to replicate the feat were met with strong pushback in California, a Blue state, known to be progressive and liberal. In a thought-provoking conversation with Firstpost's Bhagyasree Sengupta, Kate shares her journey from child bride to survivor and then an advocate. Growing up as a girl in the Hmong community Hmong is an ethnic group that traces its origin in China, from where it migrated to Laos, Vietnam and Thailand in the 19th century. During the Vietnam War, the community worked with the American spy agency CIA in the 'secret war' in Laos, and therefore were forced to flee their homeland after the victory of the communists. Many Hmong eventually settled in countries such as Australia, France, Canada, Germany, and the United States. According to Pew Research, an estimated 360,000 people in the United States identified as Hmong in 2023. Kate was three years old when she and her family immigrated to the United States. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD They were immigrants of war and were therefore granted citizenship under a special arrangement. Kate compared life in the Hmong community to that of a 'cult'. 'A husband can have more than one wife, but if you're born a daughter, you're pretty much useless. The only purpose for you is to be sold off for a high dowry, so if you're a son, you carry the last name, and so basically living in that community, it's very normal to see child brides,' she told Firstpost. Shoppers look for pleated skirts and other clothing for Hmong New Year for sale at the stall of Elisa Her, left, in the Hmong Village covered market in St. Paul, Minn., on Thursday, Nov. 16, 2023. File Image / AP 'It also happens in America, and the communities where this usually happens are not always the rich communities; It's always the poor communities,' she added. Kate shared an example of a fellow child bride survivor, Sara Tasin, a Middle Eastern woman, whose father had her marry at the age of 15. Kate pointed out that Fresno, California, where she grew up, housed minorities like Hispanics and Asians. She emphasised that lack of education and poverty in the area limited her family's outlook. 'I grew up in this community full of minorities, we didn't know better, and we didn't know we could have a better life,' she told Firstpost. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD Kate mentioned that the only time she celebrated her birthday was when she was 10 years old, unbeknownst to her, that her mother was going to send her away the next year. Given the environment she was growing up in, Kate was in a constant state of fear that she would eventually get 'sold off'. 'Who am I going to be sold off to? Are they going to sexually abuse me? Am I going to lose all my rights as a female? Am I going to be raped and beat up all the time and tossed around like a piece of trash like you hear so many traumatic stories,' she said. She also mentioned that in the orthodox side of her community, if a woman's husband died, she had to marry his brother even if he had a wife because the woman 'becomes to family's possession'. 'So being taught this from the moment that you're very young. It's so wrong because it lets a young girl know that they are just made to be sold. Because I was aware that this was happening all the time, I was always afraid,' she furthered. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD Kate was the first child her mother gave birth to; after that, she gave birth to two other girls. Kate went on to say that her mother was seen as 'cursed' and faced her share of insults and abuse. Her father left her mother since she couldn't give birth to sons, and her grandfather threw her mother, her and her siblings out of the house. A quadplex apartment in California, which her parents rented. 'At the age of 4, you know it's so traumatic, I have fear in my whole life that if I grow up to be a woman that cannot produce a son, then I will be cursed, you know? So I have already had all this fear that's happening in my life from a very young age,' she said. She said that since her father left, her mother and siblings were not allowed to speak up. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD The marriage and the abuse Kate mentioned that when it was her time, she came home from school and learned that she was moving to Washington. 'I didn't understand why I was moving, my mother told me 'you have to move to Washington because your aunt said she needs your help to watch their five kids under the age of 6 years old, because they helped us when your dad left',' she said. I didn't get to say goodbye to my friends at school. Plucked out of school and just sent away. I believed that I was moved here to Washington to help my aunt and uncle. That was one part of it. But the other part they left out is finding me an arranged marriage. Kate recalled how she went from babysitting her cousins to taking care of kids at her in-laws' place. When she was 11, her aunt was taking her to a family gathering. She eventually realised that she was being sold as a child bride. 'That's how my husband [now ex] found me because my aunt took me to someone's house. They're having a celebration I was there to help. Their son saw me, and he was just in love with me. And I was only 11 and he was 18 at the time. And then when I was 12, they arranged the marriage,' she added. Kate went on to mention that she found out later that her aunt had a gambling problem. 'So the reason, her motive to sell me, was that she wanted money. You know, that breaks my heart,' she exclaimed. The aunt eventually had to flee Washington state because she owed people a lot of money, she said. 'It just made me very sad because for her, it was just a business transaction, so she could make some money to go and throw away at her gambling addiction. That's my childhood,' she said. Kate was married to a family that owned a flower business in Seattle. He in-laws asked her not to tell anyone at school that she is in a child marriage. She was warned that if she told the truth, her mother would be arrested and her siblings would be taken away by the Child Protection Services (CPS). STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD She called out the women in orthodox culture, who let these things happen to young girls. 'It's like some people do it because they don't have a choice, but some people do it for their own interests. My mom did it because she didn't have a choice. My aunt and mother-in-law did it for her interests,' she said. Since Kate and her in-laws were living in a small city like Carnation, Washington, 15-20 years back, her school didn't question her on why her surname was different to that of her guardians. 'No one asked questions because people were afraid that if they asked questions, they are going to be called racist,' she said. When she was 15 years old, Kate found out that she was carrying her first child. Before that, she had a miscarriage at age 14 because she was beaten mercilessly by her now-ex husband, Kate told Firstpost. Her ex-husband started physical abuse by severe beating three months into their marriage, she said. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD 'He locked me outside, and I had to stay outside until his parents came home and let me in. On my 15th birthday, my ex came to me and said, 'Oh, I forgot that it's your birthday today. Well, happy birthday. I guess I can't call you a stupid little kid anymore because you're not a little kid anymore',' she said. He raped me, beat me, and verbally and mentally abused me. He is disgusting in his mind." 'He'll beat me over something so stupid. He'll beat me, and then he'll feel bad after beating me. He would apologise if I didn't accept his apology right there, I would get another beating,' she said. 'He'll start by smashing the bedroom walls or throwing things to let his parents know that we're fighting. One time when his mother got to know what was happening, she rationalised it, telling me, 'this is to know your place'.' During her conversation with Firstpost, Kate also recalled how she once thought of ending her life, but she didn't because of her children. 'You know, like there's so much suffering and like, the suffering just never ends. So sometimes you think maybe I should take my life because if I can't change the situation,' she said. Kate eventually managed to get out of her situation, and it has been over a decade since she left her abuser. Living with the trauma While recalling the harrowing details of her past, Kate became emotional. She emphasised how she still has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) over what has happened. 'A lot of people always ask me to do a podcast. But I don't want to do that because I don't know if I'm going to be okay tomorrow. Mentally, sometimes, if I go on an interview and depending on where I am in my life, if it triggers me badly, I have to take some time away,' she told Firstpost. Fighting PTSD, Kate still sits in front of American lawmakers and recalls the abuse she braved to get a federal law that helps child brides suffering similar abuse in the shadows. 'I believe one way of combating this issue is that, when I share my story, I hope that it will bring awareness, you know, so people will understand this does happen in America and as Americans, we need to pay attention,' she added. She said that there was a time when her son didn't want her to tell everyone that she was her mom because she would be questioned about her age. 'I escaped the abuse, but trauma continues for so many years. You know, there are so many layers of suffering and hurt. The only way to end this evil is by bringing awareness,' she added. The fight to ban child marriage in the US: Why is it so hard? Kate has been working with organisations like ' Unchained at Last' to push for a ban on child marriage across the United States. However, child marriage, which is banned in India, was legal all across the United States until 2017. While Kate and the group she is part of managed to bring change in states like Virginia and Washington, there is still a long road ahead to ensure a nationwide ban on the social evil. When Firstpost asked Kate what challenges she and her fellow child marriage survivors face, she pointed out the lack of support from politicians as the biggest one. 'The politicians have their agenda, running their campaigns all the time. We don't have enough support from the politicians,' she said. Kate recalled how they struggled to push House Bill 1455, the legislation that bans child marriage in the state of Washington. She mentioned that the lawmakers were initially hesitant to pass the bill because they wanted data and experiences from their own state. 'We want to hear a survivor from our own state, they said. How many survivors need to die or suffer for the bill to be passed? Many of us took time off from our work, paid for our travel, shared our sufferings for nothing,' she said. Kate participated in the endeavour when she shared her story with a 76-year-old woman at the gym, who turned out to be politically active. It was this woman who told Kate that Washington lawmakers want a survivor from their state to share their story. 'During lobbying, most of the time when we have appointments with the politicians. They greet us with their interns, their executive assistants, and their office assistant. Most of the time that happens, you know, so it's a waste of time for us. Because we share our story, and then after that, they say, 'thank you for sharing with me. But I will have to check with my senator, and I'll relay that to them',' she recalled. Sometimes the politicians expressed their compulsions that their sponsors won't support the bill and they won't be able to author it. The idea of banning child marriage in the US sees opposition from both sides of the aisle. While the Conservatives oppose a ban, stating it would interfere with religious freedom. Progressives worry it could take sexual and reproductive choice away from minors. 'For example, in Washington state, Planned Parenthood supported the House bill, but every state is different. In California, they did not support the bill to ban child marriage. Planned Parenthood refused to support the bill. I don't know why their excuse is that they don't want it to take away women's reproductive rights,' she said. When asked how she sees the possibility of a nationwide ban on child marriage in the US, Kate said she was trying to get the attention of US President Donald Trump. 'My goal is to get the attention of the president and just tell him my story, and also of the First Lady, to share all the sufferings I endured as a child in America. I hope that they would understand and be moved by it, and see if there needs to be a change in America to end child marriage,' she said. Kate has been advocating for a ban on child marriage for two years now. She remarried and lives with her husband, Michael David Briggs, who has been supportive and encouraging of her cause. Briggs and Kate have a gym named Bonafide Boxing Pro Gym, where they work with pro MMA and Boxers. While Kate is free from her child-marriage prison, thousands are still navigating theirs around the world and especially in the United States of America. As America plans big for its 250th year of Independence, campaigners like Kate wonders if the country is ready to free itself from the shackles of the social evil of child marriage, or will it ever be?