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Fast Company
07-07-2025
- General
- Fast Company
The best leaders know how to ask the right questions. Here's a model that can help you do just that
In today's fast-changing world, the most successful leaders do not have all the answers. They're the ones who ask the best questions. Yet many leaders get stuck in what I call Zones of Certainty. This is when confidence in their own perspectives can blind them to insights from others. But there is a way for them to open themselves up to new perspectives. I've developed a framework called the Curiosity Curve, which maps a journey from self-righteousness ('I can't stand them!') through tolerance ('I think they're wrong, but I'll hear them out.') to increasing curiosity. The framework draws inspiration from the work of an organization called Braver Angels, which focuses on bridging partisan divides. (Their original model described 'The Emotional and Intellectual Transformation of De-Polarization.') Moving along the curiosity curve isn't just helpful; it can provide a competitive edge. Curious leaders make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and foster more innovative cultures. But how do we shift from 'They're wrong' to 'I truly want to understand their views'? Here are four practical pathways that leaders can use to increase their curiosity: 1. Imagine your way into curiosity The imagining pathway uses curiosity sparks —strategic questions that interrupt our certainty. Ask yourself the following questions: 'What might I be missing?' 'What challenges might they be dealing with?' 'How might I be impacting them?' These questions spark imagination and help shift us from zones of certainty to zones of curiosity. Recognizing what we don't know humbles us and opens the door to new insight. When Satya Nadella became Microsoft's CEO, the company was insular and hostile to open-source software. In his book, Hit Refresh: The Quest to Rediscover Microsoft's Soul and Imagine a Better Future for Everyone, he asked, 'What if we're wrong about Linux being the enemy?' That question catalyzed a transformation—Microsoft embraced open-source, formed new partnerships, and tripled its market value. Start by listing 10 things you don't know about a challenging person, issue, or situation. Don't look for answers—just identify the questions you haven't asked. 2. Empathize your way into curiosity This pathway taps emotional intelligence to connect with another person's humanity. While we can't fully inhabit someone else's perspective, reflecting on shared human experiences kindles wonder about their unique viewpoint. This transforms our stance from 'They're wrong or bad' to 'I want to understand.' When we lead with the heart, defensiveness falls away, and openness follows. In her autobiography My Life in Full: Work, Family, and Our Future, former PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi recounted that she wrote letters to the parents of her senior executives, thanking them for the 'gift' of their children. This act came from reflecting on what it must feel like to be a parent watching your child work long hours. That empathy sparked her curiosity about her leaders' family lives, which led to more thoughtful conversations and improved well-being and performance. To develop a greater sense of empathy, close your eyes and imagine being in the shoes of someone who frustrates you. What might they be carrying? Write a note you'll never send, beginning with 'I imagine it must be hard to . . .' Let empathy create space for curiosity. 3. Experiment your way into curiosity Sometimes, it's the behavior that changes the mindset. Even if we're feeling skeptical, by acting as if we're curious—asking clarifying questions or inviting stories—we create conditions where our real curiosity can emerge. This works because authentic questions lead to richer understanding. As we receive thoughtful answers, we realize how much we've been missing. But don't ask rhetorical or leading questions. Ask what you genuinely don't know. As recounted in Ford Motor Company: The Greatest Turnaround in U.S. History, former Ford's CEO Alan Mulally introduced weekly meetings where executives were supposed to report issues. Initially, everyone said everything was 'green,' even though the company was in crisis. Rather than accusing anyone, he kept asking, 'What obstacles are you facing?' and 'What would help you succeed?' When one leader finally admitted a problem, Mulally praised the honesty. This transformed Ford's culture from fear to collaborative problem-solving. Next time you're sure you're right, ask three story-based questions. 'What's been your experience with . . .? How did you come to see it that way? Can you tell me about a time when . . .?' And once they've given their answers, really take the time to listen. Resist the urge to interrupt. 4. Enlist your way into curiosity Sometimes we need help seeing what we can't see. This pathway involves enlisting others —friends, mentors, even AI —to help identify blind spots and spark questions we wouldn't think to ask. Diverse viewpoints accelerate progress along the curiosity curve. A trusted colleague's observation or a mentor's challenging question can shift us from certainty to openness in moments. When Mary Barra became GM's CEO during the ignition switch crisis, she brought in advisors—including critics—to ask hard questions. One asked, 'What if the real issue is how information flows inside the company?' That reframing led to a revamp of GM's safety systems and ushered in a culture of transparency. To open yourself up to diverse viewpoints, text three people you trust. 'I'm working through [brief description] challenge. What questions should I be asking that I'm not?' Pick the two that make you most uncomfortable. That's where your biggest growth likely lies. Choosing your path Curiosity is a choice, and no single path fits every person or moment. A data-driven leader may gravitate to imagining or experimenting. A people-first leader may find empathy more natural. The key is flexibility. The more tools you practice, the easier it becomes to access curiosity when it matters most. Ultimately, the best way to master curiosity is to live it. Surround yourself with people of diverse perspectives. Read widely. Go to places that challenge your worldview. And slow down—curiosity needs breathing room. Try to look at life as a grand experiment, where every conversation is a chance to discover something unexpected. When curiosity becomes not just a leadership tactic but a way of being, your journey along the Curiosity Curve will become second nature.
CNBC
20-05-2025
- Business
- CNBC
Marriage and family therapist on the rise of political polarization
Braver Angels Co-Founder and Professor Emeritus at the University of Minnesota Bill Doherty sits down with CNBC's Steve Liesman at the 2025 CNBC CEO Summit to discuss the rise of political polarization in the U.S. and how it may affect the workplace.
Chicago Tribune
19-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Chicago Tribune
Highland Park native authors her first novel for middle grade students
Highland Park native Sara F. Shacter loves middle-grade books, science — particularly biology — and nature. She is also interested in how children are affected by relationships. The author explores all those topics in her engrossing first novel for ages 8-12, 'Georgia Watson and the 99 Percent Campaign.' The book is scheduled for release on Oct. 14 from Regal House Publishing/Fitzroy Books. 'I much prefer middle grade to books for adults. I feel like books for kids have a heart and there's always an element of hope,' Shacter explained. In terms of the science aspects of the book, Shacter said, 'I've always been a science-y person. I really enjoy biology in particular, and I'm very much of a climate advocate.' 'Georgia' is the story of a scientific-focused sixth-grader whose family has moved many times. She is thrilled to be staying in the same school for a second year, especially since she has made a special friend, Izzy, who is equally enthusiastic about exploring science and nature. But by accidentally revealing her friend's secret, that friendship is in jeopardy, particularly since a third classmate is determined to 'steal' Georgia's friend. It seems like a hopeless situation until Georgia devises a science-based solution that reveals people are much more alike than they are different. Shacter indicated that because of the deep divisions in our country, she hopes this story will help young readers and the grownups in their lives to focus on what brings us together. It's a cause dear to the author's heart, reflected in Shacter's volunteer work with Braver Angels a nonprofit organization with the goal of 'Bringing Americans together to bridge the partisan divide,' according to their website. 'Braver Angels came to me after the 2016 election,' Shacter said. 'I was struggling a little bit because it seemed like, from everything I saw in the media, that half the country had different values than I did.' She began meeting with a friend's husband, whose views were the opposite of hers, to talk about politics. To her surprise, Shacter discovered, 'We weren't as far apart on things as I would have thought, and when you really got to the why of why somebody believes something, whys often overlap.' She began searching for an organization that allows people to get together and talk across the divide. A friend recommended Braver Angels. Since then, Shacter has helped with their newsletter and attended some of their events. 'What they do so well is bring people together from other sides and have moderated, respectful discussions about why people think the way they do,' she said. 'Georgia Watson and the 99 Percent Campaign' has been a long time in process, Shacter admitted. 'When my (twin) boys were in first grade, was when I first got the idea. They're about to be seniors in college.' Shacter's first work of fiction was the picture book 'Heading to the Wedding' (Red Rock Press). 'I was at a dinner event for my husband's job — he was working at the Museum of Science and Industry at the time,' Shacter related. 'Someone said, 'I'm going to a wedding and I'm trying to find a children's book about what is it like and what you do at a wedding, and I can't find anything.'' Shacter recalled thinking, 'I could write that.' So, she did. That was followed by another picture book, 'Just So Willow' (Sterling Publishing/Union Square). The author said that she focuses on children's books because 'I found that those were the stories I had to tell. I was blessed to have a lovely childhood, and all the stories that came to me just happened to be about kids.' Writing for children also seemed natural because she was a teacher, Shacter added. She taught English at Maine South High School in Park Ridge for 10 years and tutors children from kindergarten through high school. She also served as a contributing editor for the nonfiction children's magazine, 'Ask,' and has written articles for 'Ask,' 'Click,' 'Highlights for Children,' and 'Yes Mag: Canada's Science Magazine for Kids.' For more information about Sara F. Shacter and her books, visit
CNA
09-05-2025
- Entertainment
- CNA
Some people are just difficult. Here are 6 books on how to handle them
Earlier in my career, I worked for a hot-tempered woman who, according to an office rumour, had thrown a shoe at one of my predecessors. Rattled by her blowups, I tiptoed and stammered around her, fearing the day when she'd wing a pump at me. Then a friend passed along Coping With Difficult Bosses by Robert M Bramson, which was published in 1992. The book's solid, seen-it-all advice helped me stop perseverating and find my spine. I learned from Dr Bramson to stand tall when my boss exploded, to call her by her name (to humanise the relationship) and, if I couldn't quite look her in the eye, to focus on her forehead – close enough that she couldn't tell the difference. If you're struggling with a difficult colleague, family member or friend, books can validate your experience and teach you helpful communication skills, said William Doherty, a professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota and a co-founder of Braver Angels, a nonpartisan nonprofit that facilitates conversations between people with differing political views. But, he added, be wary of books that give you 'one large global theory' about whatever is wrong with the other person. Most relationship problems are caused by both parties, at least to some degree, he said, so books that encourage you to consider your part are generally more helpful. We asked therapists, psychologists and other workplace experts to recommend books that can help you get along with difficult people – or at least disagree with them more constructively. Here are six titles that rose to the top of the list. 1. HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE (DALE CARNEGIE) In this classic advice book, originally published in 1936, Carnegie, a pork salesman turned public-speaking sensation, draws on his experience and the experiences of others to explore ways to ease tension 'when personal problems become overwhelming.' He also details effective strategies for getting people to stop noxious, bullheaded behavior, including by admitting your own mistakes first so they are more receptive to your feedback. Jonathan Haidt, a professor of social psychology at NYU's Stern School of Business and the author of The Anxious Generation, said in an email that he assigns Carnegie's book to his students and has found it helpful personally. 'It taught me to avoid arguments and instead listen, learn, take the other person's perspective and then, if warranted, persuade skillfully,' he said. 2. WHY WON'T YOU APOLOGIZE? (HARRIET LERNER) This 2017 title from Dr Lerner, a psychotherapist and best-selling author, offers a framework for understanding how skillful, sincere apologies can repair even profound rifts in relationships. It also delves into why some people overapologise, while others can't say 'I'm sorry' without a blame-reversing rider that only makes the injured party feel worse. Calling it 'the best self-help book' he'd ever read, Dr Doherty recommended it because of the generous, detailed way Dr Lerner describes the intricate back-and-forth dance between the offended and the offender, normalising familiar problems with apologies so we can understand and potentially improve them. 3. THE ASSHOLE SURVIVAL GUIDE (ROBERT I SUTTON) In this 2017 follow-up to his organizational-psychology bestseller The No Asshole Rule, Dr Sutton writes that he thought the topic 'would be a brief side trip.' But the thousands of requests for advice that he received after the book came out persuaded him to stay on the beat. The resulting guide is packed with tips and strategies for dealing with demeaning and disrespectful people, including by using humour to save your sanity and carefully documenting evidence of workplace harassment to give yourself leverage if you decide to go to human resources. Adam Grant, an organisational psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business and a contributing Opinion writer at The New York Times, said in an email that he has recommended the book to more people than he can count, calling it 'an impressively evidence-based, surprisingly actionable read on how to deal with abusive bosses, difficult colleagues and toxic customers.' 4. THE DEFINING DECADE (MEG JAY) Daphne de Marneffe, a clinical psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area and author of The Rough Patch, said in an email that this book, first published in 2012, about navigating one's 20s had really stuck with her. Dr Jay, drawing on research on brains and human development, argues that our 20s are a potentially future-defining decade. When young adults, who are more likely than older adults to feel walloped by criticism, decide to bail out on difficult situations with difficult people – including cranky, faultfinding bosses – they miss out on valuable opportunities to learn how to calm themselves and develop confidence. While Dr Jay's point about the benefits of gaining enough mettle to withstand jerks at work (or wherever they crop up) may be particularly helpful to young adults, 'I think it's applicable to all ages,' Dr de Marneffe said. 5. DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS (DOUGLAS STONE, BRUCE PATTON, SHEILA HEEN) This international bestseller, first published in 1999, dives below the surface of personal and professional disagreements to show how quickly they breed distrust and negative assumptions about the people with whom we disagree. 'This was one of the first books I read on how to have difficult conversations, and I find myself going back to it again and again with clients,' Elizabeth Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Philadelphia and the author of the book 'Til Stress Do Us Part, said in an email. Among its 'clear and actionable suggestions,' the book outlines a process for both parties to 'own their part' in creating the problem in the relationship, Earnshaw said. The first person to admit any wrongdoing is ' modelling to the other person that it is safe for them to express their own contribution, too,' she explained. 6. THE ART OF POSSIBILITY (ROSAMUND STONE ZANDER, BENJAMIN ZANDER) First published in 2000, this is an eclectic book of practices for achieving personal and professional fulfillment. Filled with stories that underscore the high costs of leaping to conclusions and labelling other people as dangerous or difficult, it shows readers how, with a shift in perspective or adjustment toward generosity, they can improve challenging relationships and live happier lives. 'Without a doubt, we've got more than a few 'difficult' people in the world,' Seth Godin, a marketing expert and author of This Is Strategy, said in an email. 'But often, the most productive way forward is to realisethat they have a hard-earned self-talk that's driving their behavior. Just as each of us do,' Godin said. 'The Art Of Possibility is the best book I know about empathy,' he added.
Yahoo
05-05-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Dakota Wesleyan University seniors selected for Honors of Distinction Awards
May 4—MITCHELL — Four Dakota Wesleyan seniors were awarded the fourth annual Honors of Distinction awards, the university's highest honors, during the annual Honors Banquet Friday night, May 2. Established in 2022, the Wesleyan Honors of Distinction are awarded annually to four Dakota Wesleyan University seniors who have most notably embodied and exemplified the university's values of learning, leadership, faith and service. One senior receives Wesleyan Honors of Distinction in each category. To qualify for candidacy, students must have a minimum cumulative GPA of 3.25 or higher (3.7 for the learning distinction), as required by each award's guidelines, and be ranked as senior status. Those eligible submit an application, and the finalists are selected by a Student Senate-appointed panel. The finalists are then interviewed by a committee of students, staff and faculty who choose the recipients. In the category of Honors of Distinction for Learning is Aletheia Underhile of Tripp, daughter of Andy Underhile and Nhora Underhile. Underhile is graduating with a History major. She was active on campus with Diversity Council, the McGovern Center for Leadership and Public Service and as a tutor for religion, government and history. She has had several national opportunities including the American Enterprise Institute's fall summit and summer honors program and was awarded a Hertog Foundation scholarship. Underhile is a trained debate chair and moderator for Braver Angels where she chaired a national debate at the 2024 convention in Wisconsin and has moderated debates at the USD School of Law. She has accepted a position with Braver Angels national debates team. In the category of Honors of Distinction for Leadership is Logan Serck of Hudson. He is the son of Phillip and Michelle Serck and is an Elementary Education major. Serck played football for DWU and served on the team leadership council all four years. He is also a member of Aspiring Educators. Serck worked with Hanson High School in Alexandria to help establish their first wrestling program which recently sent two qualifiers to the state tournament. He also works for his family's business, Serck Construction. Most recently, he completed his student teaching at Hanson Elementary School. After graduation Serck will be teaching at Alcester-Hudson middle school. In the category of Honors of Distinction for Faith, the recipient is Nathan Meyers of Brandon. He is a Nonprofit Business Administration major and is the son of Mitch and Amy Meyers. Meyers played baseball for the Tigers and served as team captain this past year. He is a 2024 Daktronics Scholar Athlete. He serves on the Student Ministry Council, is the Student Athlete Chaplain and has led Fellowship of Christian Athletes, helping to increase participation by 20 percent. Meyers will be pursuing a Masters degree at DWU in the fall while working at Fusion Church in Mitchell. In the category of Honors of Distinction for Service, the student selected is McKinnely Mull of Vernal, Utah. The Biochemistry major is the daughter of Diana Mull, Chris Schlosser, Jason Mull and Jennifer Mull. Mull is a standout softball player and captain of the softball team where she has been recognized as a Daktronics Scholar Athlete. She served on Student Senate for three years and is currently Senior Class President. She has been a resident assistant since 2023 and currently serves as senior resident assistant. Her campus involvement includes student ambassador, CHAOS, Lost and Found, and she is a tutor in math, chemistry and biology. Off campus she has been involved with Sanford Softball as a volunteer coach and periodically volunteers in the children's department at the University of Utah Hospital. She works as a medication aide at Countryside Living in Mitchell and works as a research assistant for Adult and Pediatric Neurology at the University of Utah. Mull plans to take a gap year and apply to medical schools. The following students were also candidates for Honors of Distinction: Wesleyan Honor of Distinction for Learning Peyton Bagley, Rapid City Khasidy Hodge, Missoula, Mont. Wesleyan Honor of Distinction for Leadership Abigail Brunsing, Wagner Isabella Gregg, Moreno Valley, Calif. Wesleyan Honor of Distinction for Faith Kaitlyn Christensen, Mitchell Keesha Letcher, Bridgewater Wesleyan Honor of Distinction for Service Anthony Acosta, Grand Island, Neb. Alyssa Crnic, Omaha, Neb.
