Latest news with #CaitlinSlavens
Yahoo
9 hours ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
How to Survive Back-to-School Shopping When Your Teen Wants to Buy Every Fashion Trend
Reviewed by Samantha Mann If heading back to school inevitably has your kid ready to shop, we see you. The 'need' for new clothes, shoes, and everything in between comes in hot right about now for tweens and teens, especially with the prospect of impressing their peers on the horizon. As a result, the pressure on parents heats up, too. Whether it's the newest Stanley cup arrival or that trendy pair of wide-leg jeans that seem totally impractical to us parents, the gear kids are eyeing these days isn't cheap. And even if you have the means to splurge a bit, it can be difficult to justify spending so much money on items simply because they are popular (right now) among your kids' peers. After all, they're destined to get buried in the back of their closet next fall. But before you say no straight out of the gate this year—and a battle of wills ensues with your teen—consider this insight and advice from adolescent experts which will help you find a compromise with your teen about back to school shopping. Why Trends Matter to Tweens and Teens By and large, parents just see dollar signs come back-to-school season. But it's important to know that tweens and teens see something else entirely when putting together a list of new clothes and gear they want as they head into a new grade. 'What parents need to understand is that back-to-school shopping isn't just about function — it's about identity, ' explains Caitlin Slavens, a psychologist, parenting expert, and clinic director at Couples to Cradles Counseling. 'For tweens and teens, what they wear says who they are, or at least who they're trying to be.' All of which is developmentally normal, especially between the ages 11 and 17, adds Jeannine Jannot, Ph.D., a Roswell, Georgia-based developmental psychologist and author of 'The Disintegrating Student: Struggling But Smart, Falling Apart & How to Turn It Around.' 'Kids are developing their identity, seeking independence, and placing growing importance on peer relationships and social belonging, all while trying to figure out who they are,' Jannot says. 'Parents may misinterpret their kids' desires for fashionable stuff as frivolous or over the top, without recognizing the underlying motivation, which is to fit in,' she adds. That means that when your kid is begging you for expensive clothes, try to be compassionate—of course, not everything will be in your budget, but they aren't asking because they want you to go broke. They think of these items as essential to their wellbeing. Navigating Back-to-School Must-Haves vs. Teens' Emotional Needs Nixing a request for the latest-greatest Lululemon athleisure set is completely justified, particularly if you're on a budget. However, parents should be aware that it can come with real consequences for your child's social-emotional health, according to experts. 'We evolved as social beings who require belonging to thrive,' Jannot says. 'To be left out or, worse, ostracized from the tribe was a threat to one's safety and very survival. It feels the same for today's young people who use their inclusion in peer groups to help form their identity and keep them (socially) safe.' Yeah, teens tend to be dramatic, but while it may seem like your tween's need to be on-trend is superficial, it's about acceptance. Clothing and gear in particular have become a form of social currency that helps kids feel like they belong, or that they won't stand out in the 'wrong' way, Slavens explains. Talking to Your Teen About Why Some Asks Are Out of Bounds But there's good news: You can absolutely balance your child's social-emotional needs and your budget — and even teach boundaries, financial literacy, and resilience in the process. 'The risk isn't in saying no,' Slavens says. 'It's in how the 'no' lands. If it comes with shame, judgment, or a lecture about 'materialism,' it can shut kids down or make them feel out of touch with their peers.' The goal instead is to say no with empathy by being curious, not critical. Before you say no, start by asking your child why they want the item, Slavens says. 'Is it about comfort? Durability? Fitting in? Aesthetics? If the answer is 'everyone has it,' that's a valid need in the tween and teen years.' Of course, this doesn't mean you have to buy it, but it's important to understand so you can determine what is—and isn't—worth purchasing. 'A tween who hears, 'I get why that matters to you,' is more likely to feel seen, even if the answer is still no,' Slavens adds. More Tips for Saying 'No' Before School Starts Once your child's motivation is clearer, you can validate how they are feeling, Jannot says. 'This sets up an opportunity for the parent and child to feel like they're on the same team and collaborate on solutions together,' she explains. Here are a few tips for doing just that. Speak honestly about your family's budget If an item is too expensive, experts recommend being transparent about finances. 'Parents can also give their kids spending limits or a back-to-school budget,' Jannot says. 'This helps kids to appreciate the cost of things and practice prioritizing their wants versus their needs.' You can also encourage teens to figure out ways to finance part, or all, of more expensive items, with a part-time job or chores around the house, Jannot adds. 'This approach helps kids understand the value of money,' she says. Consider more affordable options Try helping your child find more affordable versions of what they want. For example, ask: 'Can we find a similar option that fits the vibe without the $150 price tag?' Another good question to ask in this case: 'Is this something you'll use or wear regularly?' If this answer is no, it can help your child see why a cheaper option would make more sense, or at least explain to them that its impracticality is behind your decision to not purchase the item. You can also ask your child to look for the item in question second-hand, either at thrift stores or on apps like eBay or Poshmark. Press pause before making a decision Jannot also recommends parents take a wait-and-see approach regarding some purchases. Teens might be inclined to ask for certain items on impulse just because they saw it on a show, or saw a friend wearing it. But if you give them some time to consider what they really want and need for the school year, the initial appeal of certain items might fade away. 'Ask your child to wait a set amount of time, whether it's a day or a week, before deciding to spend the money,' she says. 'This creates space for both the parent and child to think it over and will help children learn to delay gratification.' Stick to your budget and values Kids are going to be frustrated, disappointed, and maybe even angry if they don't get what they want, which is never easy for parents to witness. But stay strong—try to not give in even if they have a tantrum, but also don't withhold if you have the resources just because you think their needs are strictly materialistic. 'Children need to experience challenges, setbacks, and disappointments to build their resiliency and independence,' Jannot says, which is why 'no' may be a tough answer, but it can still bring big benefits. Read the original article on Parents Solve the daily Crossword
New York Post
25-06-2025
- Business
- New York Post
Still living with your parents? You're probably bad at this, study warns
Moving back home with Mom and Dad has become surprisingly common for today's young adults. Nearly half of parents say they have an adult child between the ages of 18 and 35 who has 'boomeranged' home for a while, according to a survey by financial services provider Thrivent. It's not hard to understand why. Entry-level salaries haven't kept pace with the soaring costs of rent, student loans, and everyday expenses. For many, moving home can seem like the smartest way to save money and regroup financially. But there's a hidden trade-off: While boomerang kids often save on rent and groceries, they tend to fall behind their peers when it comes to building strong budgeting habits. Why budgeting is harder when you're back in your old bedroom Of those who moved back home, less than half (46%) got top marks from their parents for their budgeting skills, compared with 63% of those who never returned home, the Thrivent survey found. 'When adult kids move back home, it's easy for budgeting skills to slide because the stakes feel low,' says Caitlin Slavens, a psychologist and co-founder of Couples to Cradles. 'Rent can be free (or almost free), groceries mysteriously appear in the fridge, and Wi-Fi doesn't come with a payment plan.' In other words, while it might be financially necessary to live rent-free at home, the lack of real-world expenses means budgeting can be easily ignored. 'The lack of financial threat makes the push to budget seem optional,' Slavens adds. 6 Entry-level salaries haven't kept pace with the soaring costs of rent, student loans, and everyday expenses. highwaystarz – 6 Of those who moved back home, less than half (46%) got top marks from their parents for their budgeting skills. Valerii Honcharuk – Stress adds another layer. Many boomerang kids move home during a rough patch, like from a job loss, breakup, or other life transition. 'Their bandwidth may already be stretched to capacity,' says Slavens. 'Setting a budget requires executive functioning they may not have in excess.' Patrice Williams-Lindo, a career visibility strategist and CEO of Career Nomad, puts it bluntly: 'When adult kids boomerang home, it's not just about budgeting—it's about power, privacy, and parenting boundaries that never got a reboot. 'Most parents weren't trained to raise adults in an unstable economy—they were trained to get kids 'off the payroll,'' she adds. 'But today's boomerang generation isn't lazy; they're navigating an impossible trifecta: stagnant wages, skyrocketing housing costs, and industries in constant flux.' The hidden costs for everyone 6 Many boomerang kids move home during a rough patch, like from a job loss, breakup, or other life transition. – It's not just young adults who feel the impact. Parents often pick up extra grocery costs, cover higher utility bills, and shoulder the emotional burden of trying to help—sometimes at the expense of their own financial security. Nearly half of parents who pay for their adult children's expenses say they've sacrificed their own financial stability to do so, according to a survey from About 40% also say they feel pressured to help, even when it stretches their budget thin. With retirement costs climbing—plus rising property taxes and capital gains eating into older homeowners' wealth—supporting an adult child can become a setback that lingers for years. 6 Nearly half of parents who pay for their adult children's expenses say they've sacrificed their own financial stability to do so. Yakobchuk Olena – 'If parents cover too much, the kids stop learning how to manage cash flow, plan for future needs, or live within their own means,' says Stephan Shipe, a finance professor at Wake Forest University and founder of Scholar Financial Advising. In today's tough economy, that can ripple out to bigger dreams like buying a home, starting a family, or saving enough for retirement. How to have better money conversations at home 6 With retirement costs climbing, supporting an adult child can become a setback that lingers for years. Andrii Lysenko – Experts agree: The best way to avoid stalled progress is through clear expectations and regular money conversations. With the right approach, this living arrangement can build strong financial habits. Treat returning home 'like a financial incubator,' says Williams-Lindo. 'Create 'family-as-startup' language: Instead of 'rent,' use 'equity contribution.' Instead of 'rules,' call them 'shared operating agreements.' Instead of 'chores,' shift to 'shared investments in household value.'' This mindset helps break old parent-child patterns and teaches real-world financial responsibility before they move out again. Shipe says parents should think like coaches, not banks. 6 The best way to avoid stalled progress is through clear expectations and regular money conversations. DragonImages – 'I always remind clients: Money amplifies behavior. If someone already has good habits, a little help will propel them forward. If they do not, giving too much can make things worse. The key is to stay out of 'bank' mode and act more like a coach.' That starts with clear expectations. Shipe recommends coming up with a plan that everyone agrees to for how kids will contribute financially. Even if it's a small contribution, it helps kids stay in the habit of budgeting. 'I also like using matching strategies: If your child is saving for a car, you might match their savings dollar for dollar,' he says. 'This reinforces good behavior while keeping them engaged in their own progress.' Moving back home can be a smart reset, but without structure, it can stall everyone's finances and strain family ties. Be clear, be kind, and remember: 'Ultimately, the goal is to help them build confidence and competence with money while they are home, not to shield them from all financial responsibility,' says Shipe. Handled well, boomeranging back can leave both adult kids and their parents financially stronger when it's time to fly solo again.
Yahoo
24-06-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
Still Living With Your Parents? You're Probably Bad at This, Study Warns
Moving back home with Mom and Dad has become surprisingly common for today's young adults. Nearly half of parents say they have an adult child between the ages of 18 and 35 who has 'boomeranged' home for a while, according to a survey by financial services provider Thrivent. It's not hard to understand why. Entry-level salaries haven't kept pace with the soaring costs of rent, student loans, and everyday expenses. For many, moving home can seem like the smartest way to save money and regroup financially. But there's a hidden trade-off: While boomerang kids often save on rent and groceries, they tend to fall behind their peers when it comes to building strong budgeting habits. Of those who moved back home, less than half (46%) got top marks from their parents for their budgeting skills, compared with 63% of those who never returned home, the Thrivent survey found. 'When adult kids move back home, it's easy for budgeting skills to slide because the stakes feel low,' says Caitlin Slavens, a psychologist and co-founder of Couples to Cradles. 'Rent can be free (or almost free), groceries mysteriously appear in the fridge, and Wi-Fi doesn't come with a payment plan.' In other words, while it might be financially necessary to live rent-free at home, the lack of real-world expenses means budgeting can be easily ignored. 'The lack of financial threat makes the push to budget seem optional,' Slavens adds. Stress adds another layer. Many boomerang kids move home during a rough patch, like from a job loss, breakup, or other life transition. 'Their bandwidth may already be stretched to capacity,' says Slavens. 'Setting a budget requires executive functioning they may not have in excess.' Patrice Williams-Lindo, a career visibility strategist and CEO of Career Nomad, puts it bluntly: 'When adult kids boomerang home, it's not just about budgeting—it's about power, privacy, and parenting boundaries that never got a reboot. 'Most parents weren't trained to raise adults in an unstable economy—they were trained to get kids 'off the payroll,'' she adds. 'But today's boomerang generation isn't lazy; they're navigating an impossible trifecta: stagnant wages, skyrocketing housing costs, and industries in constant flux.' It's not just young adults who feel the impact. Parents often pick up extra grocery costs, cover higher utility bills, and shoulder the emotional burden of trying to help—sometimes at the expense of their own financial security. Nearly half of parents who pay for their adult children's expenses say they've sacrificed their own financial stability to do so, according to a survey from About 40% also say they feel pressured to help, even when it stretches their budget thin. With retirement costs climbing—plus rising property taxes and capital gains eating into older homeowners' wealth—supporting an adult child can become a setback that lingers for years. 'If parents cover too much, the kids stop learning how to manage cash flow, plan for future needs, or live within their own means,' says Stephan Shipe, a finance professor at Wake Forest University and founder of Scholar Financial Advising. In today's tough economy, that can ripple out to bigger dreams like buying a home, starting a family, or saving enough for retirement. Experts agree: The best way to avoid stalled progress is through clear expectations and regular money conversations. With the right approach, this living arrangement can build strong financial habits. Treat returning home 'like a financial incubator,' says Williams-Lindo. 'Create 'family-as-startup' language: Instead of 'rent,' use 'equity contribution.' Instead of 'rules,' call them 'shared operating agreements.' Instead of 'chores,' shift to 'shared investments in household value.'' This mindset helps break old parent-child patterns and teaches real-world financial responsibility before they move out again. Shipe says parents should think like coaches, not banks. 'I always remind clients: Money amplifies behavior. If someone already has good habits, a little help will propel them forward. If they do not, giving too much can make things worse. The key is to stay out of 'bank' mode and act more like a coach.' That starts with clear expectations. Shipe recommends coming up with a plan that everyone agrees to for how kids will contribute financially. Even if it's a small contribution, it helps kids stay in the habit of budgeting. 'I also like using matching strategies: If your child is saving for a car, you might match their savings dollar for dollar,' he says. 'This reinforces good behavior while keeping them engaged in their own progress.' Moving back home can be a smart reset, but without structure, it can stall everyone's finances and strain family ties. Be clear, be kind, and remember: 'Ultimately, the goal is to help them build confidence and competence with money while they are home, not to shield them from all financial responsibility,' says Shipe. Handled well, boomeranging back can leave both adult kids and their parents financially stronger when it's time to fly solo again. How America's 'Most Tax-Friendly State' Is Helping Rich Homebuyers Build Generational Wealth There Are Nearly 15 Million Vacant Homes in America—Here's Where Most of Them Are Home Affordability Is 'Historically Low,' Says JPMorganChase
