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Buzz Feed
6 days ago
- Buzz Feed
17 Reasons People Went No-Contact With Their Parents
We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the "final straw" moment that made them go no-contact with a toxic parent. Here are the shocking — and heartbreaking — results: "My father told my mom, whom he'd been married to for over 40 years, that he had found someone else who was 'loving and communicative' IN A LETTER. He is a narcissist who did nothing but bully my amazing mom for years. He gave her that letter, and she told him she'd read it when she was ready (he had moved out at that point), and he continued to act like nothing was different despite knowing full well what he had written." "I'd grown up with my parent frequently lying to people outside our family about big and little things. Some were scams on good people, and I had to cosign the lying frequently. We had a general rule of keeping family business within the family. Fast-forward 20 years, and I learned I'd been being lied to as well about everything, including the circumstances of my birth, my parent's relationship, and subsequent divorce." "I went no-contact with my dad. He had always been emotionally manipulative, especially after my parents divorced when I was 9. But the last straw was when it was Christmas Break during my senior year of high school. I was supposed to spend Christmas with him, but I did not want to spend it with him. He then proceeded to CALL THE COPS ON ME. A 17-year-old." "Having been emotionally abused by my father my entire life, my mother died suddenly, leaving us alone together. Never did I know what a horrendous being he really was until then. I tried for two years, looking after him, but he turned my entire family against me, revealed an affair he'd been having, stalked me, and, the very last straw, destroyed the power of attorney document he'd had me sign years ago." "I've been no contact on and off with my mom for 17+ years, and every time I try and see if she's changed, she hasn't. I recently had my first child, and as a new mom, I missed that connection, so when she reached out, I replied. It went okay at first, and when I finally showed her pictures of my daughter, I told her that I was not posting pictures of her on the internet. She said she accepted that. Things were fine on and off, but she would make comments that annoyed me, but not enough to cut her off until one day, she made my daughter's photo her Facebook profile picture." "When the $200,000 that I transferred to my mom's account wasn't enough, and she called it, 'Merely $200,000.'" "My dad has always been extremely judgmental and quite the vapid narcissist. Nothing I ever did was good enough, and years of therapy unraveled all of the trauma he's caused me. With all of the criticisms he gave me growing up, I started putting on myself. I was now never good enough for myself, never good enough for anything worthwhile to happen in my life. I tried my entire life to get his acceptance, support, and love. I even changed my major in college just to appease him. I finally met my wife, and I now have the unconditional love I so longed for. When we got married, my dad didn't call or text." "They urged me to maintain a relationship with another family member who they were well aware was verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive towards me my whole life — and all others in their life — after I'd decided to go contact with that family member. They have never truly understood the importance of mental and emotional health, or made it a priority in their lives, or the lives of the family they raised." "I once had an amazing relationship with my mom; I talked to her every day for at least an hour. After my stepdad died, I was the only child to help her move back home (they had been living 11 hours away). It took multiple trips. I found and closed on a home with some property for her, repaired her (non-running vehicles), and fixed up her new place (painted, replaced carpet, etc). Our relationship deteriorated when she made it obvious to my son (15 at the time) that she didn't love him because of who his father is." "I set a boundary for the sake of maintaining a peaceful environment regarding topics that I don't want to be discussed in my home when my parents visit (politics, conspiracy theories, etc.), and I was accused of censoring them. This was the moment I realized that any effort to have a relationship with them would not work if they were not willing to put 'their rights' aside for the sake of our relationship." "Not my parents, but my husband's mother. We had a good relationship for years, even though she was out of her mind. It was always directed toward other people, so I tried to never let it bother me. My husband and I briefly separated, and she said some offensive stuff about me to him. He told me. We got back together, and I continued to be civil and attend family functions. Then, the 2016 election happened, and she went off the deep end. She said some offensive things to me out of nowhere on social media, and it exploded." "I've gone no-contact with my father twice. The first time was right after he and my mom divorced. He lived near my brother and was actually pretty involved in my brother's kid's lives, but after the divorce, he sent a letter to my brother letting him know that he would not be a grandpa anymore, that this time was about him (it's always been about him), and that he was going to focus on himself. This broke my niece's and nephew's hearts. My own children were very young at the time, and they didn't really know him, so I decided I wouldn't let this man hurt my children. About eight years later, my oldest daughter started asking about him. I told her I didn't have a relationship with him, but if she wanted one, proceed cautiously." "I always had a rough relationship with my mom, and it got worse when she cheated on and eventually left my dad for his brother. We were in a better place, and she agreed to watch my 1-year-old daughter while I went on a babymoon for my second child. She had agreed to do this months in advance but 'changed her mind' weeks before our trip when she realized she had to take a vacation from work to watch her. This was admittedly the straw that broke the camel's back." "The final straw with my parents was when they would not support my decision to attend college in another state, even though I was offered a scholarship and I had already worked hard at community college for two years. They would have preferred me to stay home and keep raising their three other children and continue cleaning their home (even though my mom stayed at home). I was Cinderella, and my going to college would ruin their plan for me to continue taking care of everyone else. This was also more obvious when they threatened to call the police and say I stole my own car (since my dad's name was also on the title), and they didn't want me to have it if I was leaving them." "My grandmother passed away, and my mother and uncles (who all own their own houses and are fairly financially stable) made sure to keep me, my sister, and our cousins out of the will. There were multiple properties (nothing too fancy, but a condo in Boca and a small cabin in Vermont) and some money. I found this out at the funeral last June and felt disgusted by the greed of the boomers in my family but kept quiet. I was a hard worker (fully employed during a challenging grad school program and having two jobs at other times). I never gave myself a break with an 'I just have to get through this' attitude. My husband and I had taken a single vacation in our ten years of marriage, and it was in 2014 (only because he got a disability settlement, and we decided to splurge a little)." "My husband and I went no-contact with his parents. The final straw after years of crossed boundaries, disrespect, and emotional incest was when my mother-in-law screamed at my mom. My MIL had paid for a cheap flight for me to go to Phoenix to get my car. It was a flight in the middle of the night, and I was supposed to drive my car (which we weren't even sure still worked) back to Salt Lake City alone. After my flight was delayed multiple times, I asked my husband to come pick me up because I wasn't comfortable taking the flight anymore. My MIL, who was with my husband at the time, lost her mind and started screaming at my husband, saying that they would never pay for anything for us ever again if I didn't take that flight." And finally... "When I finally started therapy at the age of 40, I realized that we had never really connected to my parents. My father worked all the time; my mother dominated the house with her temper. The phrases she said to belittle me and negate my feelings all came up in therapy. I realized that I rad no desire to try for an authentic relationship as I would have to fight against my parents' engrained dynamics and their assuredness that nothing was wrong in our family the entire time." Wow. Have you ever gotten BACK in contact with a parent after going no-contact? What happened then? If you feel comfortable telling your story, feel free to share in the comments below.
Yahoo
08-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
700 residents impacted by Aspen Place Condemnation in Gardner, Kansas
GARDNER, Kan. — Hundreds of people have until 6 p.m. on Thursday, May 8, to leave the Aspen Place Apartment in Gardner, Kansas. The city condemned the 180 units due to what they called, on Tuesday, 'significant safety concerns.' Downtown Kansas City business owners issuing a warning: 'This isn't a political issue—it's a safety issue' Cars lined Aspen Street late Wednesday morning as 700 people are supposed to be out of their homes by 6 p.m. Thursday. One resident named Danielle says issues have been going on at the apartments for years, but it got really bad around the holidays. 'Over Christmas Break, there were people without water,' she said on Wednesday. 'I mean, people were trying to have Christmas dinner, and there was no running water, no way to flush toilets, no way to take care of the babies that are here, the kids.' She says the little kids in the neighborhood can't comprehend what's happening. 'Even my kids, being older, she's a sophomore in high school, and all day when the news came through about it, it's finals week,' Danielle continued. 'There's no way that she was properly studying yesterday, and we were up until two o'clock in the morning, and then she had to go to school again today.' The KDR Group out of Lenexa owns the property, and while they wouldn't comment on camera, their attorney, Jeff Zimmerman, released a statement. 'We are working to figure out a system to refund the May rent that had already been paid by some of the Tenants and to inspect the units to release security deposits,' he said. 'The condemnation makes that process more difficult as the tenants are dispersing to comply with the city's order to vacate, which may affect the lines of communication. Ownership intends to go forward with the plan that was being put into place to overhaul the water system. That process will take about 90 days from the time the city approves the permits.' The mother of one of the Aspen Place residents called the KDR Group a slum on Wednesday. 'You really are,' Rhodes continued. 'The city, they've known this has been going on for years, and all they've done is give them citation after citation, and to me it's like a smack on the hand.' Kansas mom convicted for 2024 crash that killed 1-year-old son Our emails to the city weren't returned by Wednesday afternoon in time for our deadline. Golden Rule Relocation Owner and city resident Matt Thrasher was helping people move out on Wednesday. He was thankful for companies like New Haven Moving Equipment, which donated $1,250 in moving materials for people needing to pack. 'The city's known that there was a good chance that anytime that this place was going to go through this,' he said. A fire truck got stuck on a private access road in the complex Saturday night, and the condemnation notice from the city came out three days later. The road has a large hole in it. Since KDR took over the property three years ago, they've had to fix water line breaks. 'My clients are responsible property owners and bought this property to provide affordable housing,' Zimmerman continued. 'Keeping up with the aging water system became too much, so they decided to completely overhaul the system. The timing of the City's condemnation was unfortunate when the City's firetruck collapsed the water line. This has become a monumental problem and we are working to figure out solutions and will work with the City and Community Groups who are also working on this.' Grace Baptist Church hosted a meeting at 6 p.m. on Wednesday for Aspen Place residents. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. For the latest news, weather, sports, and streaming video, head to FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports.
