Latest news with #Column8
Sydney Morning Herald
6 days ago
- Politics
- Sydney Morning Herald
The right to disarm
'Further to Craig Forbes' piece about political chew toys [C8]. I recently found a Donald Trump squeaky dog toy,' reveals Jonathan Vincent of Emu Heights. 'My puppy loved it, but within five minutes she had removed both his arms. This silenced Trump's squeak [Result! – Granny], and the disarmament is great for world peace.' 'My siblings and I learnt about antimacassars [C8] very early in life,' says David Pigott of North Parramatta. 'The letter 'A' was my mum's favourite when playing I Spy with my Little Eye.' Warren Menteith of Bali describes the antimacassar as 'a classic marketing ploy. Create the problem so you can flog the solution'. He also explains that 'Macassar, the capital of Sulawesi (Celebes) gave its name to this item. It seems long before Brylcreem and other pomades, ebony oil from Makassar was the top-selling product.' While well aware that former PM Bob Hawke was a bit of a ladies man, Ron Besdansky of Northbridge was still taken aback when viewing Wikipedia 's Born on This Day page: 1929 – Hazel Hawke, Australian social worker and pianist, 23rd Spouse of the Prime Minister of Australia (died 2013). Jeff Stanton of Strathfield has a decidedly European take on signalling (C8) when he says: 'using indicators is seen by many as providing information to the enemy'. 'Mishaps really do come in threes,' reckons Viv Mackenzie of Port Hacking. 'A friend should be enjoying the best snow in ages. However, she has been hospitalised with asthma, her husband has come down with COVID and another member of the party has broken a knee. Otherwise, everyone else is having a great time.' Generational talent Greg Leisner of Blackhead writes: 'I'm of an age now where the only comfortable shoes are expensive stretchy sneaker types (black for weddings and funerals) but resist the pejorative term 'Boomer', and I am proposing that we be called the INDY generation. As in, 'I'm Not Dead Yet', any thoughts?' Column 8's recent Coldplaygate (C8) headline got Richard Jary of Waitara thinking: 'Perhaps at 61, I'm too young to remember, but why does every scandal now have to be somethinggate? What did they call scandals before Watergate?' 'I purchased a mood lamp which soon put me in a bad mood as it required an app to set it up,' laments Susan McLaren of Windradyne. 'This 'free' app was soon asking for my credit card details.'
The Age
6 days ago
- Politics
- The Age
The right to disarm
'Further to Craig Forbes' piece about political chew toys [C8]. I recently found a Donald Trump squeaky dog toy,' reveals Jonathan Vincent of Emu Heights. 'My puppy loved it, but within five minutes she had removed both his arms. This silenced Trump's squeak [Result! – Granny], and the disarmament is great for world peace.' 'My siblings and I learnt about antimacassars [C8] very early in life,' says David Pigott of North Parramatta. 'The letter 'A' was my mum's favourite when playing I Spy with my Little Eye.' Warren Menteith of Bali describes the antimacassar as 'a classic marketing ploy. Create the problem so you can flog the solution'. He also explains that 'Macassar, the capital of Sulawesi (Celebes) gave its name to this item. It seems long before Brylcreem and other pomades, ebony oil from Makassar was the top-selling product.' While well aware that former PM Bob Hawke was a bit of a ladies man, Ron Besdansky of Northbridge was still taken aback when viewing Wikipedia 's Born on This Day page: 1929 – Hazel Hawke, Australian social worker and pianist, 23rd Spouse of the Prime Minister of Australia (died 2013). Jeff Stanton of Strathfield has a decidedly European take on signalling (C8) when he says: 'using indicators is seen by many as providing information to the enemy'. 'Mishaps really do come in threes,' reckons Viv Mackenzie of Port Hacking. 'A friend should be enjoying the best snow in ages. However, she has been hospitalised with asthma, her husband has come down with COVID and another member of the party has broken a knee. Otherwise, everyone else is having a great time.' Generational talent Greg Leisner of Blackhead writes: 'I'm of an age now where the only comfortable shoes are expensive stretchy sneaker types (black for weddings and funerals) but resist the pejorative term 'Boomer', and I am proposing that we be called the INDY generation. As in, 'I'm Not Dead Yet', any thoughts?' Column 8's recent Coldplaygate (C8) headline got Richard Jary of Waitara thinking: 'Perhaps at 61, I'm too young to remember, but why does every scandal now have to be somethinggate? What did they call scandals before Watergate?' 'I purchased a mood lamp which soon put me in a bad mood as it required an app to set it up,' laments Susan McLaren of Windradyne. 'This 'free' app was soon asking for my credit card details.'
The Age
17-06-2025
- General
- The Age
Demolition experts go to great lengths
In an effort to keep the peace and avoid a battle of wills (not to mention 10 Ball Magical Shooters), we're going to put a cap on the home armaments (C8) chapter very soon. But we do have room for Joy Cooksey of Harrington: 'On the aftermath of one cracker night, my brother built himself a pea-shooter. All the powder from the various unexploded crackers was collected and tipped into a piece of steel piping clamped in the workbench vice. But as he rammed down the largest ball bearing available, this supersized pea-shooter was activated. Any reference to the hole in the ceiling always made him think twice before considering any other inventions.' Doug Vorbach and his 'orange cannon' escapade reminded Les Tomlinson of Berowra Heights of his own adventures: 'We used a length of two-inch galvanised water pipe, tuppenny bungers and lemons with devastating effect. We also used metal downpiping and rockets as a makeshift bazooka. When eventually conscripted into the ADF in the mid-1960s, it was probably inevitable that I found myself assigned to an artillery unit.' Kerrie Wehbe of Blacktown remembers a more melodic repurposing of pipes: 'During my years teaching in PNG's Milne Bay Province, the students used PVC pipes with rubber stretched over one end to do the job of the traditional kundu drum. This modern item, among all the traditional grass skirts, shells, plants and feathers, was quite a sight, but it did the job.' Peter Singer of Hamilton South reckons 'HE STOOD CORRECTED' seems like a suitable statement for Richard Stewart's headstone (C8) and adds that 'maybe for someone whose missives for Column 8 are continually ignored it could be 'HE LAYS REJECTED'?' 'Put those know-it-alls in their place, Richard,' implores Col Burns of Lugarno. 'Expand your epitaph to 'HE ONCE STOOD CORRECTED BUT NOW HE RESOLUTELY MAINTAINS HIS POSITION'.' Philip Laird of Keiraville notes that 'the bus stop outside the Wollongong Botanic Garden on Northfield Avenue, and opposite the busiest bus stop in Wollongong at the university's main campus, has a timetable dated January 27, 2015. Since then it's just possible that some services have been added and some withdrawn.' 'If the chicken Bob Selinger (C8) writes about is not claimed, I wonder if its goose is cooked?' ponders Wayne Duncombe of Lilyfield. Either way, Tim Slack-Smith of Castle Hill considers the whole thing 'just a poultry piece of fowl play'.
Sydney Morning Herald
17-06-2025
- General
- Sydney Morning Herald
Demolition experts go to great lengths
In an effort to keep the peace and avoid a battle of wills (not to mention 10 Ball Magical Shooters), we're going to put a cap on the home armaments (C8) chapter very soon. But we do have room for Joy Cooksey of Harrington: 'On the aftermath of one cracker night, my brother built himself a pea-shooter. All the powder from the various unexploded crackers was collected and tipped into a piece of steel piping clamped in the workbench vice. But as he rammed down the largest ball bearing available, this supersized pea-shooter was activated. Any reference to the hole in the ceiling always made him think twice before considering any other inventions.' Doug Vorbach and his 'orange cannon' escapade reminded Les Tomlinson of Berowra Heights of his own adventures: 'We used a length of two-inch galvanised water pipe, tuppenny bungers and lemons with devastating effect. We also used metal downpiping and rockets as a makeshift bazooka. When eventually conscripted into the ADF in the mid-1960s, it was probably inevitable that I found myself assigned to an artillery unit.' Kerrie Wehbe of Blacktown remembers a more melodic repurposing of pipes: 'During my years teaching in PNG's Milne Bay Province, the students used PVC pipes with rubber stretched over one end to do the job of the traditional kundu drum. This modern item, among all the traditional grass skirts, shells, plants and feathers, was quite a sight, but it did the job.' Peter Singer of Hamilton South reckons 'HE STOOD CORRECTED' seems like a suitable statement for Richard Stewart's headstone (C8) and adds that 'maybe for someone whose missives for Column 8 are continually ignored it could be 'HE LAYS REJECTED'?' 'Put those know-it-alls in their place, Richard,' implores Col Burns of Lugarno. 'Expand your epitaph to 'HE ONCE STOOD CORRECTED BUT NOW HE RESOLUTELY MAINTAINS HIS POSITION'.' Philip Laird of Keiraville notes that 'the bus stop outside the Wollongong Botanic Garden on Northfield Avenue, and opposite the busiest bus stop in Wollongong at the university's main campus, has a timetable dated January 27, 2015. Since then it's just possible that some services have been added and some withdrawn.' 'If the chicken Bob Selinger (C8) writes about is not claimed, I wonder if its goose is cooked?' ponders Wayne Duncombe of Lilyfield. Either way, Tim Slack-Smith of Castle Hill considers the whole thing 'just a poultry piece of fowl play'.
The Age
10-06-2025
- The Age
The dawning of an elephantine era
'We Herald letter writers may be fond of clichés and over-used metaphors but, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, we're (literally) on the same page in our desire to maintain anonymity for the 'elephant in the room' (C8) because any public vote would likely proffer Trunky McTrunkface,' offers the always erudite Col Burns of Lugarno. 'No need to cry crocodile tears Dawn Hope, your curiosity, while it won't kill the cat, is a red herring, and you may be on a wild goose chase trying to find out the name of that elephant,' adds Mary Carde of Parrearra (Qld). 'I've heard it straight from the horse's mouth, who put that very same question to the fly on the wall; apparently while they're all having a whale of a time, nobody knows who's who in the zoo.' For Pasquale Vartuli of Wahroonga, Dawn's search has thrown up another mythical poseur: 'Apropos the name of the elephant in the room, who was 'Larry Dooley' often referred to by rugby league commentator Frank Hyde?' Col Mitty of Warrawee and his mates know how to get the lead out: 'I've been reminded of the moment in my pre-teens when a friend aimed his air rifle (C8) at another friend and struck the target between the eyes. The pellet slid under his skin stopping just under one eye. I was shocked, the shooter was speechless and the target screamed. I don't believe the police were informed.' 'The passing of John Shakespeare marks the end of a short but illustrious life of a highly talented cartoonist,' writes Allan Gibson of Cherrybrook. 'Many of his Fairfax/Nine colleagues will hold special memories with those who left this masthead receiving a caricature of themselves. Away from the newsroom, but looming large over Granny's shoulder, one George Manojlovic of Mangerton was named in August 2016 as Column 8's most prodigious contributor. His prize was a caricature of himself depicted with the Column 8 doctorate drawn by John Shakespeare. For the record, George had 68 entries. He was closely followed by Paul Hunt of Engadine (66), Jim Dewar of North Gosford (65) and yours truly (59).'
