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Ain't No Surf in Portobello (except once in a blue moon)
Ain't No Surf in Portobello (except once in a blue moon)

Scotsman

time13-06-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Scotsman

Ain't No Surf in Portobello (except once in a blue moon)

For much of the time the Valves song is on the money, but once or twice a year conditions at the sheltered Edinburgh beach do allow for surfing – and a community of local surfers is ready and waiting, writes Roger Cox Sign up to our Scotsman Rural News - A weekly of the Hay's Way tour of Scotland emailed direct to you. Sign up Thank you for signing up! Did you know with a Digital Subscription to The Scotsman, you can get unlimited access to the website including our premium content, as well as benefiting from fewer ads, loyalty rewards and much more. Learn More Sorry, there seem to be some issues. Please try again later. Submitting... To the casual listener, the song Ain't No Surf in Portobello by Edinburgh band The Valves sounds almost like a slice of classic early-1960s surf rock. Twanging surf guitars? Check. Catchy, repetitive chorus overlaid with soaring harmonies? Check. Lyrics referencing romantic intrigue and surfing paraphernalia? Check. Pin back your ears, though, and you'll start to realise that certain things are a little off. Dave Robertson's vocals have a slight sneer about them that's a million miles away from the late lamented Brian Wilson's butter-wouldn't-melt croon, and some of the guitar licks sound rawer and throatier than anything the Beach Boys could ever have mustered – less Surfin' USA, more Jimi Hendrix playing Wild Thing before setting his guitar on fire and smashing it to bits. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad ​All of which makes sense when you realise that Ain't No Surf in Portobello​ wasn't written in the 60s but in 1977, The Valves were a punk band not a surf band, and this song wasn't some earnest imitation of the sounds emanating from the other side of the Pond but a glorious, high-energy pastiche. Part of the joke lies in the unlikeliness of the scenario ​d​escribed in the lyrics. 'Cruisin' down Bath Street / My surfboard in my hand,' ​R​obertson begins, 'I'm lookin' for a woman / That's looking for a surfin' man.' ​Given the location, you sense our surfboard-totin' hero might be lookin' for a while. And then, of course, the pay-off in the chorus is pure bathos: 'Ain't no surf in Portobello​', repeated ad infinitum as if to hammer home the point. There's just one problem though: it turns out there is surf in Portobello. Not often, not even some of the time, but very occasionally, when all the variables of swell, wind and tide align, it is possible to catch a wave – even a pretty good wave – at this most swell-sheltered of beaches. For years I'd heard rumours of waves surfed here, even seen the odd grainy photo on social media, but it all somehow seemed like a bit of a hoax. A few weeks ago, though, I finally caught up with one of the small but dedicated band of Porty locals who have the place wired. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad Tommy Zyw is the director of the Scottish Gallery on Edinburgh's Dundas Street – established in 1842, and famous for showing the work of some of the biggest names in Scottish art in the subsequent 180-plus years (including, incidentally, committed sea-lovers William McTaggart, SJ Peploe, Joan Eardley.) In between exhibitions, however, Zyw is a keen surfer, and as a Portobello local he'll try to catch a wave at Porty whenever conditions allow. 'I suppose I started surfing in earnest when I was at university in St Andrews from 2006-2010,' he says. 'At that stage there was no St Andrews Surf Club, it was just a case of walking down from the high street with my surfboard and hoping for the best. Then I had a few holidays to Lewis and really got the bug. 'The Porty surf crew is really a WhatsApp group,' he continues, 'and it was first set up for those once-in-a-blue-moon days which pop up if you're lucky maybe twice a year, when the swell comes in at just the right angle.' Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad To begin with, Zyw explains, the people in the group didn't necessarily know each other all that well – they were just united by their love of surfing. 'But now it's really grown into something that's far more of a community,' he says. 'It's still primarily a WhatsApp group, but it's a very welcoming space for surfers of all levels, from very advanced surfers to people who haven't surfed before and just want a lift down to Belhaven Bay. 'There's a big eco-focus as well,' he continues. 'There's a chap called Steven Cousins in it, who set up the Porty Water Collective, and is one of the great champions for cleaning up the water at Portobello Beach. Then there's a guy called ​Jo​se​ph Barnab​a​s-Seale who's a musician and photographer who does wonderful water photography. So it's a community of artists, scientists – all kinds of people – and all linked by two things: by their love of surfing and often their proximity to Portobello Beach.' ​The big question though: on those rare occasions when the swell hits Porty just-so, what are the waves like? Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad 'Not last October but the October before, we actually had some really wonderful waves,' says Zyw. 'For good surf at Portobello it really needs to be semi-dangerous down the coast at Belhaven Bay – about 10-12-foot plus. "But, you know, it feels very special having a sunrise surf before work, dogwalkers and the odd wild swimmer looking at you with complete intrigue as you walk down the prom with your surfboard, and then grabbing a coffee from Crumbs on your way home. It's once in a blue moon but it's worth the wait.' 'Usually we surf at the burn mouth, just on the west side of the prom,' Zyw says. 'It tends to break right but there are sometimes lefts and rights to be had either side of that burn mouth. Again, things need to align just right, but once at high tide the first ever Porty barrel was surfed there: Joe Barnab​a​s-Seale surfed right into the tunnel which brings the burn out into the sea.'

Reeves's Midlands Rail Hub announcement a funding 'milestone'
Reeves's Midlands Rail Hub announcement a funding 'milestone'

BBC News

time12-06-2025

  • Business
  • BBC News

Reeves's Midlands Rail Hub announcement a funding 'milestone'

Confirmation of government funding is an "important milestone" for a £1.75bn scheme which plans to add 300 trains a day to the West Midlands rail Midlands Rail Hub is set to improve rail links between Birmingham and more than 50 locations including Lichfield, Worcester, Nuneaton and outlining government spending plans on Wednesday, Chancellor Rachel Reeves said: "I can announce today that I'm providing funding for the Midlands Rail Hub, the region's biggest and most ambitious rail improvement scheme for generations."Midlands Connect chief executive Maria Machancoses said details were unclear but were welcomed. She added: "We really need to celebrate that this government, in these very tight constrained budgets, has decided to continue to support the rail hub."We want support from government not only [in] the development stages but we need to start also talking about securing the capital investment that is required to make this a reality."Midlands Connect said the scheme would provide "faster, better and more frequent" connections, adding 20 million extra seats and creating 13,000 construction Machancoses said it would be delivered "in the next few years". The upgrade proposes to deliver six trains per hour through the core of the Cross City Line, with four starting at Lichfield Trent Valley and two at Four MP for Lichfield Dave Robertson said the funding news was "absolutely brilliant" for people travelling between Staffordshire and described how a decrease since the pandemic to just two trains an hour between Lichfield and Birmingham had led to overcrowding and was "stifling... opportunity" for local people."The Midlands Rail Hub would not only bring our trains back but it'll guarantee them. So actually we can be safe and secure in the knowledge that those opportunities will be available for people in the future," he said. Follow BBC Birmingham on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram.

‘A consistent pattern': Regina Rowing Club dealing with reoccurring vandalism of property
‘A consistent pattern': Regina Rowing Club dealing with reoccurring vandalism of property

CTV News

time05-06-2025

  • General
  • CTV News

‘A consistent pattern': Regina Rowing Club dealing with reoccurring vandalism of property

It has been a rough few weeks for the Regina Rowing Club, as several vandalism incidents have taken place against its property. On Saturday, a number of windows were broken at the finish line tower on Pine Island. Workers and volunteers installed plexiglass shortly on those broken windows but then noticed a second incident Tuesday night. Three more windows were broken, with a few large rocks left inside. The outline of a foot was also left on one of the windows, indicating that another one could have been broken as well. 'I've been involved with the community high club since the early 90s,' said Dave Robertson, who is the vice commodore of the Regina Racing and Canoe Club. 'And I know every once in a while, there might be an incident, but there's just been a consistent pattern of several incidents that have been happening over the last few weeks.' The area has also had a few star towers, which are metal structures that are markers during races - pushed into the water. Additionally, a car was stolen last Wednesday. 'It's surprising, and it's also really disheartening,' said Robertson. 'We operate as a volunteer organization. During a one-off incident, you kind of can plan for and expect. But when you have a series of instances where you come in, do the repair, and clean it up, and then only to have that damage redone a couple of days later. It is very taxing on the volunteers.' It is an unfortunate time for vandalisms to occur, with the season now opening for the club. Saturday will see the Saskatchewan team trials for the Canada Summer Games. Regina police said that officers have been canvassing the area for any video that may be available, but that no suspects have been found at this point in time.

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