05-02-2025
On cleavage: Mind the gap
Jennifer Finney Boylan is president of PEN America. This essay is adapted from her new book, 'Cleavage: Men, Women, and the Space Between Us.'
My wife, Deedie, woke me up one fall morning. In one hand she held a steaming cup of coffee. 'Good morning, Jenny Boylan,' she said. We'd been married for 36 years by then: 12 as husband and wife and 24 as wife and wife. We love each other more now than when we first started out. But our marriage is not without its complications. Post-transition, I found myself still fundamentally attracted to women — and to Deedie most of all. But the woman I loved did not identify as lesbian. More than once, I wondered how it was that she could possibly be satisfied with me. There were times when we just seemed to ache and ache.
