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Yahoo
6 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
4 Signs You Have A 'Minimal Effort Partner.' And What To Do If This Kind Of Love Finds You.
Healthy relationships require good communication, mutual respect and a good deal of support — and we all know that these dynamics (unfortunately) don't just happen on their own. In a romantic partnership, especially a long-term one, it takes each partner consistently showing up for the person they love to make the magic happen. And that takes work. So what happens when it feels like one person in the relationship is completely dropping that ball? You may be dealing with a 'minimal effort partner.' Simply put, 'A minimal effort partner is a person who does the bare minimum when it comes to their relationship,' Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, relationship expert for the dating app Hily told HuffPost. This is a partner who will put in little work when it comes to the relationship, neglect their partner's needs and give indications that they might not be fully invested in the relationship. Typically, the minimal effort partner's behavior stems from the person's own insecurities or fears about getting hurt, Dr. Cohen said, therefore, they avoid getting truly attached to or pursuing deeper connections with their partner. Bonnie Winston, celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert, said that these behaviors could also be learned if they had unhealthy role models throughout their childhood. However, not all hope is lost if your partner exhibits any of the following signs — these are the kinds of issues couples work through all the time. Read on to learn the typical behaviors of a 'minimal effort partner' and what you can do if they sound a bit too much like your own relationship. They're not showing up for you. 'Showing up means being present, engaged and caring,' Winston said. 'It's about checking in, staying in contact, asking thoughtful questions, and showing curiosity about the other person's life, their day, interests and dreams.' On the flip side, a minimal effort partner doesn't ask how you're doing and won't remember the details that matter to you — whether it's your birthday, your favorite ice cream or even random facts that mean the most to you (like Taylor Swift's birthday). They won't try to connect with you on a deeper level, celebrate your wins or might bail on important events in your life, Winston added. 'It's about doing things that make the other person happy,' Winston said. 'A consistent lack of effort sends a clear message: They're not truly invested.' They don't prioritize communication. Communication is the most important skill for couples to have in order to maintain their relationship. But with a minimal effort partner, communication is a low priority, leaving issues to be discussed until the very last minute or not addressing them at all, according to Dr. Cohen. This can be something small, not mentioning plans until the very last minute, or avoiding discussing relationship issues. 'The minimal effort partner may simply not share what is going on in their life or may not add to conversations,' Dr. Cohen said. 'They may refuse to engage by shutting down or may be part of the conversation but not actively listening to their partner.' They avoid talking about the relationship. It's natural for relationships to evolve and change over time. You might want to know where this is going and talk about long-term plans, but a bare minimum partner will often dodge those conversations — which can make the partner who is putting more effort in feel like they're the only one who cares. '[Feelings of indifference] can negatively affect their partner because the person may start to feel as if they are not worth the effort,' Dr. Cohen added. 'The partner may fail to realize that the lack of effort is not a reflection of them, but an issue with the minimal effort partner.' And as we've all been told countless times, relationships really are a two-way street: 'Without working on the relationship or maintaining and strengthening the bond, the partnership is likely to erode over time,' Dr. Cohen said They don't plan anything. A minimal effort partner is unlikely to schedule date nights or plan vacations or outings with their partner, Dr. Cohen said. They often don't consider their partner's needs or wishes or are unable to prioritize those needs, so the planning can consistently end up falling on the other partner. If you're always making plans and want more involvement from your partner, Winston suggests trying this activity: have you and your partner write down five things you've always wanted to try. It can be anything from novel sex positions or acts that interest you, destinations you're dying to visit, or learning a new skill or trying out a hobby together. Swap the lists and choose at least one activity from each list to start. What to do when you're only getting the bare minimum from your partner. It's not the end of your relationship if your partner stops putting in the work. Sometimes the minimal effort partner doesn't realize they're slacking off, Winston said. First, try addressing the issue with them, and be vulnerable and honest about how the lack of effort makes you feel. To get back on track, Dr. Cohen notes that it's essential for couples to be able to communicate openly and honestly about their experiences within the relationship, including their needs and boundaries. Winston and Dr. Cohen also agree that visiting a couples therapist could help you build those skills and get to the root of the issue. 'A third person can offer an objective viewpoint and also a solution,' Winston said. It is possible for the minimal effort partner to change their ways, but it takes a lot of self-reflection. If they're still not making an improvement, ending the relationship might ultimately be worth considering. After all, it's better to be single than be with someone who isn't choosing you. 'Relationships thrive on mutual effort, presence and care, not passive indifference,' Winston said. 'A person not being cared for can have lowered self-esteem and stay in an unhappy situation, or they can realize they deserve much better and leave.' Related... A Woman On TikTok Calls These Strange Dating Behaviors 'Princess Treatment.' But Experts Aren't So Sure. New TikTok Trend Sheds Light On How Men Talk To Women. And The Responses Are Bleak. This Low-Effort Activity Could Improve Your Relationship Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
11-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In
What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In originally appeared on Parade. Plenty of dating and relationship terms are buzzwords nowadays, like dry-begging and gaslighting. Unfortunately, they are usually signs of unhealthy relationships, or at worst, abusive ones. But today, we're going to dive into a relationship term that explains a way of interacting with others in a (mostly!) positive way. It's 'mirroring.' So, what is mirroringbehavior, and how can it potentially help take your relationship to the next level? Is it good or actually bad? This term refers to body language, speech and more, and it can be either a positive or negative, depending on the psychologists explain what mirroring is, what it looks like, how it can foster connection and the one sneaky way it can be 6 Things Successful People *Always* Do in a Conversation, According to a Neuropsychotherapist The mirroring definition is pretty straightforward: 'Mirroring involves the imitation of another person's behaviors or expressions,' says Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, a relationship expert at the dating app Hilly. She gives the example of friends engaging in each other's mannerisms or pronouncing words the same way. There's also copying someone's tone to be congruent, or reflecting their facial expressions when they share a story. This shows empathy and builds though it might sound the same or similar in theory, mirroring is different from mocking; mirroring is genuine: you feel what the other person is feeling, and that's what can be so meaningful. 'When mirroring occurs between two individuals, it usually means that they're both experiencing similar feelings and attitudes about whatever circumstance is at hand,' says , a clinical psychologist and relationship expert at RAW dating app. 'On the other hand, intentionally imitating another person can be an offensive act, causing the other person to feel mocked or teased.'While mirroring is usually a good thing, it's not always used in a healthy, positive way. 'This can be manipulative if not genuine,' Dr. Cohen says. 'For example, if you start to mirror someone's mannerisms so as to deceive them into thinking that you are more similar than you really are, it is manipulative.' For example, you may pretend to be interested in the same things or say the same phrases to establish rapport, but it's all based on a lie. Think about that person you may have gone on a date with who seemed eerily similar to you and gave off a weird vibe because of it. They may have been mirroring you with not-so-great focus on the more positive version ahead, As mentioned, mirroring can occur through both words and actions. Dr. Chung gives some specific examples, explaining, 'Mirroring might look like a friend resting their head in their hand while listening to another friend speaking with their head in their hand. Another example could be using the same strong language your friend is using to participate in and empathize with their frustration.'But on a scientific, psychological level, what's going on?First, it's important to note that mirroring, also known as the chameleon effect, can be unintentional and is common. Dr. Cohen says studies have shown that when someone sits across from another person, they engage in that person's behaviors. This is nonconscious mimicry, and it's facilitated by mirror neurons in the brain.'The same neurons light up when you take an action as when you observe someone taking that same action,' Dr. Cohen explains. We'll start with the most obvious impact. As mentioned—and thanks to mirror neurons—talking or acting in the same way as someone else, in that moment, can build a connection. The two participants build familiarity and feel more attracted to each other, Dr. Cohen says.'Mirroring can help you build rapport in relationships because it helps you understand others more deeply, creating opportunity for more meaningful connections,' Dr. Chung You know those moments when you talk to someone and feel especially heard and loved? The other person may have been mirroring you. 'By mirroring another, you are feeling or experiencing what they feel/experience, which enables you to better understand them,' Dr. Cohen How To Validate Someone's Feelings, According to a Clinical Psychologist One of the great things about empathy is that it can lessen feelings of loneliness. 'When we mirror another person's emotional state, we're really able to put ourselves in their place and imagine what it's like to be them, which allows the other person to feel validated in the way they feel,' Dr. Chung says. If you've ever felt like someone was in the depths of a hard experience with you (even though they weren't), you know what she's talking about here. When you and another person are close, share a meaningful experience and feel empathy for each other, you can have more solid, effective communication. 'Since you are sharing in the other person's experience, you are better able to articulate what and how you're feeling and feel understood by the other,' Dr. Cohen says. Clearly, mirroring—or empathetically imitating another person's body language or words—can be hugely beneficial for individuals and relationships (when done right). Whether you're at work or talking to a friend, it's an important relationship skill to keep in mind. Up Next:Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, a psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Betsy Chung, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In first appeared on Parade on Jul 10, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 10, 2025, where it first appeared.
The Sun
17-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
How to avoid falling for a Man Child on the dating scene & the tell-tale sign you're already seeing one without knowing
THE dating world is hard to navigate as it is, with more apps than anyone could know what to do with, ghosting, red flags and more. Now, the term 'Man Child' has been thrown in there too, as Sabrina Carpenter's latest single has singletons calling out their ex flames. 2 2 The term describes a man who acts like a child in a relationship, or just in general. That includes emotionally immature men who can't, or won't, give their partner support. They might be immature, unreliable and irresponsible, leaving you to pick up their slack - the last thing you want in a long term commitment. Luckily, dating app Hily relationship expert Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, shared with the Daily Mail the tell-tale signs to be on the lookout for if you're either trying to avoid dating a Man Child, or wondering if you're already seeing one. According to the pro, one easy way to figure out a person's emotional maturity is to pay attention to how they handle conflict in different areas of their life. 'Their answer can tell you a lot — like if they're self-aware, whether they stick it out when things get rough, and how well they keep their cool (or not)," Marisa explained. Another indicator if a potential lover is a Man Child or not is if they did the work on themselves by going to therapy and learning skills to regulate their emotions. 'You'll get a sense of what they need, how they handle things, and maybe even how they deal with stress or think about mental health,' the expert explained. Another good was is to ask your potential suitor what they're most proud of in their life. This way, the pro explained, you can hear about their big wins and how they "handled any curveballs along the way." Love Island fans call Islander a 'red flag' as he makes shock dating admission It's pretty normal to talk about past relationships when getting to know someone you might be romantically interested in, but avoiding basic questions is the key to really getting to know someone. Instead of asking when their last relationship was, for example, the dating pro suggested asking what they learned from it. 'Basically, you're seeing if they've taken time to reflect, process the ups and downs, and figure out how to do better next time,' the expert said. According to VeryWellMind, if your man doesn't help around the house you should be on high alert. "If asked to help with chores, an immature person might respond petulantly. "They might need to be bribed or demand compensation for performing tasks that are simply a routine part of keeping a home and functioning as a responsible adult." Not only that, put their partner might need to remind them to shower, brush their teeth and perform basic hygiene tasks. If a man is acting like Peter Pan, you could easily fall into the trap of being his Wendy, meaning you could end up unconsciously encouraging his behaviour by acting like his mum. You might even enjoy being able to comfort and look after him in the early days of the relationship, the pros noted. "Initially, you might have felt attracted to and enjoyed these aspects of your partner's personality. "As your relationship progressed (perhaps even to marriage), however, you might have become exhausted by, or even resentful of, your partner's immature behaviour." 15 Relationship red flags to look out for Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behaviour. When you encounter relationship red flags, it's a good time to pause and reflect on the dynamic you really share with that person. Overly controlling behaviour Lack of trust Feeling low self-esteem Physical, emotional, or mental abuse Substance abuse Narcissism Anger management issues Codependency Inability to resolve conflict Constant jealousy Gaslighting Lack of emotional intelligence Negatively affecting your relationship with family and friends Inability to communicate openly Lack of social connection or friends For more advice and support, Relate is available: "Whether it's your relationship with a partner, a child, a family member or anyone else - we help everyone to build better relationships."
Yahoo
16-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
No one wants to date a ‘man-child' — here's how to avoid them, according to dating expert
Leave it to Sabrina Carpenter's latest single to make the term 'man-child' mainstream, especially in the dating world. The term is pretty self-explanatory. It describes a man with childlike qualities: think emotionally immature men who most likely can't be a supportive partner — everything a woman would most likely swipe left on while scrolling a dating app. Luckily, dating app Hily relationship expert Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, shared with the Daily Mail the tell-tale signs to be on the lookout for if you're either trying to avoid dating a man-child or wondering if you're already committed to one. One way to figure out a person's emotional maturity is to pay attention to how they handle conflict in their life. 'Do they have some solid coping strategies? Or do they just kind of wing it?' Cohen said. 'Their answer can tell you a lot — like if they're self-aware, whether they stick it out when things get rough, and how well they keep their cool (or not).' Another indicator if a potential suitor is a man-child or not is if you can decipher whethey they did the work on themselves by going to therapy and learning tools to self-soothe. By asking them about this, 'You'll get a sense of what they need, how they handle things, and maybe even how they deal with stress or think about mental health,' the expert explained to the outlet. It's also important to vet a person by asking about their accomplishments and what they're most proud of. 'This two-parter is a super easy way to get the lowdown on your match,' Cohen said. 'You'll hear about their big wins and how they handled any curveballs along the way.' When talking about past relationships, rather than asking the basic questions like 'When was your last relationship?' or 'Why did you end things?' — instead ask what the person learned from them. This milion dollar question will reveal a lot about a person. 'Basically, you're seeing if they've taken time to reflect, process the ups and downs, and figure out how to do better next time,' the expert explained. 'It's not about perfection — just about being real and ready to grow.' Another indicator that a guy is immature is if he has this one specific line in his dating app. When revealing his height upfront, if a guy's dating app profile says 'because apparently that matters' — run for the hills. 'They're making a presumption about what all women want and painting us with the same passive-aggressive brush,' Cosmopolitan's associate sex and relationships editor Kayla Kibbe said in a recent essay. 'The belief these men are responding to isn't totally unfounded,' she conceded, '[but] the height standard to which many men seem to feel subjected is not one that was devised by women but rather one imposed on us all by internalized patriarchal beliefs.' Yes, women oftentimes use height to filter out potential matches, experts warn that it could lead many to a life of loneliness. Judith Gottesman, a matchmaker and dating coach, told The Post that 'what matters is the connection you have and that you respect, trust and love each other.'
Daily Mail
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Are YOU dating a manchild? Relationship expert reveals questions you can ask to find out
Sabrina Carpenter released a very-pointed new song entitled Manchild last week, in which she sings about a 'useless' and 'stupid' guy. It came on the one-year anniversary of her hit Please Please Please, where she begs who we can only assume was then-boyfriend Barry Keoghan (who made a cameo in the music video) not to embarrass her. In her latest release, she pokes fun at the way the 'manchild' dresses, says 'half his brain just ain't there,' and accuses him of always seeking her out despite her not choosing him. And while 'manchild' may not be a scientific term, dating app Hily relationship expert Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD explained that it is a very real thing - often used to describe an emotionally immature person. 'A manchild acts more like a child as opposed to an individual his own age,' Dr. Cohen told 'In especially problematic scenarios, the manchild may be intentionally acting in an incompetent manner so as to evoke the need for their partner's care.' She went on to explain that more than actual incompetence, a partner who depicts the traits of a 'manchild' usually does so as a manipulation tactic. So how can you tell if your partner is emotionally immature before you get too involved? And how do you differentiate between a man and a manchild? Dr. Cohen suggested asking your partner these questions. How do you deal with tough moments? People often say, 'If you don't want me at my worst, you don't deserve my at my best.' But just how bad are those 'worst' moments? Dr. Cohen explained that assessing how your partner deals with setbacks and losses can be a big indicator of their emotional maturity. 'Do they have some solid coping strategies? Or do they just kind of wing it?' she encouraged people to consider. 'Their answer can tell you a lot - like if they're self-aware, whether they stick it out when things get rough, and how well they keep their cool (or not).' If it seems like they're always bailing when things get tough, they might just do the same thing during arguments or hardships in the relationship. What does self-care mean to you? In Carpenter's song, she sings, 'Never heard of self care,' in reference to the 'manchild.' Dr. Cohen said asking about your partner's self-care routine can actually help you better understand how they take care of themselves - which will in turn tell you a lot more. 'You'll get a sense of what they need, how they handle things, and maybe even how they deal with stress or think about mental health,' Dr. Cohen said. 'It's a pretty simple question, but it says a lot!' A mature partner should take the time to really think about their needs - not give you whatever cookie-cutter answer they believe you're looking for. What are you most proud of? And how did you make it happen? 'This two-parter is a super easy way to get the lowdown on your match,' Dr. Cohen explained. 'You'll hear about their big wins and how they handled any curveballs along the way.' She also said that you'll get a better sense of whether your partner is capable of rolling with the punches. And most importantly, it can show you just how ambitious they are - not just about their career but about their life. If your partner can't think of something they're proud of it's an indicator that they've never really aimed for anything - and odds are you don't want a partner who lacks ambition. What have you learned from your past relationships that's helped you grow as a person? According to the expert, this is one of the best way's to get a sense of how much self-awareness your partner has going on. Do they immediately jump to calling their ex 'crazy' or do they admit that there were times they could have shown up better as a partner? 'Basically, you're seeing if they've taken time to reflect, process the ups and downs, and figure out how to do better next time,' Dr. Cohen said. 'It's not about perfection - just about being real and ready to grow.' If they blame their exes for everything or say they've learned nothing, odds are they're not very emotionally mature. What are your current goals? This may feel like an interview question, but it can provide great insight as to where your partner sees their life going. Dr. Cohen said that it doesn't matter if they talk about their five-year plans or just their New Year resolution like making more time for friends or picking up a new hobby. She explained that there are no right answers. 'It's just a chill way to see what's on their mind, how they set goals, and what they're into right now,' she said. 'Plus, you get a peek at how they think about things - no pressure, just good vibes.' But if you see that your partner is giving super vague answers and hasn't thought much about their future, odds are they won't know how to build one with you.
