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Independent Singapore

Domestic helpers in Singapore: We left our own children behind to raise yours, but you treat us like second-class citizens, without even basic dignity

SINGAPORE: 'Singapore is known for its world-class standards, but beneath the surface of this clean, modern society lies a silent injustice — the daily mistreatment of foreign domestic workers (FDWs) who leave their families behind, only to be treated without basic dignity,' wrote Eryana Eryan. Her post in the Facebook group Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper recently expressed a searing commentary that cracked open this often-muted reality — a post that's now resonating with many who know the system needs fixing. Her voice, equal parts heartfelt and heartbreaking, sheds light on the day-to-day indignities suffered by helpers at the hands of employers who blur the line between firm supervision and outright cruelty. Fed stale rice, not respect 'Some helpers are barely fed. Leftovers become their daily meals — sometimes stale rice, expired instant noodles, or nothing at all. When they request proper food, they're told, 'This is not a hotel'.' If this sounds like something out of a dystopian novel, it's not. It's a quiet reality faced by a shocking number of helpers, who cook and clean and are expected to be grateful for a cold clump of reheated rice and a glare in return. And no, Singaporean homes aren't hotels — but that also means we shouldn't be treating people like room service staff on zero pay and zero dignity. Rest is a luxury, not a right In many households, FDWs are up before the sun, scrubbing tiles and frying eggs while the rest of the home is still snoring. They go on to wash, fold, dust, chase toddlers, walk dogs, scrub toilets, and reheat meals — only to finally collapse into bed past midnight. 'Proper rest is a luxury… no breaks, no naps, just task after task. The moment they sit down, someone's watching or shouting.' According to the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), employers are responsible for ensuring the well-being of their helpers, which includes providing them with adequate rest. Sufficient sleep daily At least one rest day a week Breaks during the day So if your helper's eyes are barely open, and she's nodding off while ironing your clothes, the problem may not be her attitude, but your expectations. When 'discipline' becomes abuse Some employers justify their control with a worn-out script: 'They must learn respect!', but shouting, name-calling, and threats aren't discipline — they're verbal abuse dressed up in a tidy uniform. 'Helpers are screamed at over small mistakes. Called 'stupid', 'useless', or worse — with threats like 'I'll cancel your work permit!' or 'I'll blacklist you!'' Singapore's MOM explicitly states that employers must not verbally abuse or threaten FDWs. Disputes should be resolved calmly or through mediation, not intimidation. If you wouldn't speak to your colleague like that without getting HR involved, why is it okay to scream at someone who lives under your roof? Prisoners in plain sight FDWs aren't just cut off emotionally. Many are physically restricted — their phones taken away, their contact with families strictly controlled, and some, you may have heard or read in the news yourself, unbelievably, are still made to sleep in storerooms, on floors, or next to washing machines — all while being monitored by CCTV 24/7, even in bathrooms. '(Their) phones are locked away. Some aren't allowed to call home for weeks. They're made to feel like prisoners in a home they help maintain,' Eryana added as well. That's just unethical and breaches MOM's advisory, which recommends giving helpers access to communication and a private space to rest. Denying contact with loved ones isn't supervision — it's psychological and emotional suffocation. Anxiety, fear, and the things we don't see 'Many cry themselves to sleep, suffer in silence, and live with anxiety. Some even endure physical harassment — and are too afraid to speak up.' This is the part that often goes unspoken. When mental health breaks down, the effects are silent and long-lasting. What appears to be 'attitude' may be a sign of trauma. What seems like 'laziness' may be depression, and the worst part is that some endure emotional and inappropriate physical abuse, with nowhere to turn. If you suspect someone's being abused, speak up. If you're an employer, ensure your home is a safe space, not a silent prison. A mirror we all need to look into… Eryana ends her post with a powerful plea for better laws and a humane society. 'No salary can justify abuse. Helpers come here to earn for their families — not to be controlled, threatened, or broken.' 'Would you accept this treatment for your mother or daughter overseas?' Let's get real: Having a helper is a privilege, not a birthright. It's not an excuse to offload our lives onto another human being and then treat them like an unpaid robot with a mop. And to those who still scoff at this post, remember: Character is how you treat someone who can't do anything for you in return. What you can do if you or someone you know is mistreated If you're a helper facing abuse, or you know someone who is, there are ways to get help safely: 📞 Call the MOM FDW helpline at 1800 339 5505 🧭 Reach out to the Centre for Domestic Employees (CDE), which provides free advice, mediation, and legal support 📩 Or message trusted community support groups who can guide you to safety According to MOM guidelines, helpers who are mistreated should try a calm discussion first. If that fails, report the case through the proper channels — no one deserves to live in fear. And of course, the rest of us can also do better… This post by Eryana isn't just a rant — it's a wake-up call. A reminder that modern servitude still exists, even in modern homes, and a challenge to us all: If we expect kindness and respect from others, we must first extend it to those who quietly carry our households on their shoulders. 'Start treating helpers like the humans they are — with compassion, dignity, and respect.' We don't need another law to know that no one deserves to be broken in the name of obedience. What we need is conscience. What we need is the courage to say no to fear and intimidation. In other news, a heartfelt Facebook post that quickly caught the attention of fellow helpers and employers alike, a foreign domestic worker sounded the alarm on her harsh working conditions, shedding light yet again on the difficult balance between duty, dignity, and domestic life in Singapore. 'I've only been here in Singapore for three months now,' she wrote in a public group for direct hire transfers. 'But my boss treats me badly. He always yells at me, always gets angry with me. Even though I've done everything (all the work), everyone (my employers) still says I'm lazy. I don't get enough rest working from 6:30 in the morning until 12:30 at night.' You can read her full story here: Maid says, 'My employer calls me lazy and always yells at me even though I've done all the work without rest from 6:30 morning to 12:30 night'