04-07-2025
- Business
- Independent Singapore
Young working mum burnt out at work says she's trapped by finances and BTO loan eligibility
SINGAPORE: A local Reddit user took to the platform to ask for advice concerning her particular situation, as the young mum was feeling stressed to the point of burnout at work. Although she wants to quit and explore her options for a new job, she can't afford it yet.
In a post on r/askSingapore on Thursday (July 3), u/Feeling-Bunch-212 described herself as being in her mid-20s, with one child, a nine-month-old daughter, and working a full-time job.
At work, she's been 'really unhappy' due to the long working hours as she often starts her day early or works past midnight. The management and her bosses are workaholics, she wrote. She added that, having just returned from maternity leave, she was told that she had taken 'too much annual leave (about 18 days in six months),' which made her wonder what the point of giving employees annual leave is if they're not expected to use it.
While she wants to resign, she's uncertain, especially because they'll be getting their build-to-order (BTO) keys next year, and she needs to stay employed to qualify for a higher loan. Additionally, while she's looked around for jobs, the job market at present isn't great. See also Blockchain is paving the way for something new: Smart Companies
However, her mental health has been affected, and she constantly feels stressed. She would like to take a break, but is concerned that it will be hard to re-enter the workforce afterwards.
'What if I'm just being a loser, part of the strawberry gen who can't handle tough things thrown her way?' she asked, adding that one advantage of her job is that she can work from home thrice a week, which may not be the case in the next job she gets.
'So I'm really torn between staying for financial security or leaving for my own well-being. What would you do if you were in my shoes?' she asked.
In the top comment on her post, a Reddit user urged her not to resign until she finds another job. They also urged her to stand up for herself, to refuse overtime, and to set clear boundaries for deliverables, as she now has new responsibilities as a mother.
This way, if her company decides to let her go, it will be after a long process.
' But you've continued to collect salary in the meantime, bought yourself more time to find another job, fulfilled whatever you need to for your BTO. Mentally, think of it as a game of chicken. It's almost like you're daring your boss to get angry and fire you, in which case, the boss is the one who looks bad doing this to a new mother and not being understanding at all. Even your own HR will probably advise your boss not to fire you because of the possibility that you'll raise a complaint about discrimination,' the commenter added.
Another urged the post author to communicate with her spouse.
'Speak to your husband first. There needs to be a consensus if you quit, as there will be a loss of income. How will it affect your standard of living and loan amount? If you really need the money, don't quit — it's simply trading one form of stress for the other. Once the euphoria of quitting, aka taking a break (maybe one month?), wears out, you'll start to panic if you are unable to get another job. Ultimately, it depends on your current financial status and how long you can take being jobless… My advice is, don't quit without a backup,' they wrote. See also Survey: Singaporeans Are More Stressed Than Global Average
'You are not a loser. Being a mother is probably the hardest thing a woman has to go through without having work stress on top of it.
Gosh, this is the reason why Singapore's fertility rate is as low as it is. The toxic work culture, lack of empathy, and flexibility for working mums are not unique to your experience. Sadly, there's no repercussion for returning-to-work mums or being toxic in general. However, your leave is your entitlement, and you have legal rights to enforce it…
Nothing is more important than your mental health and relationship with your partner. It's difficult as it is with a new baby,' a Reddit user sympathized. /TISG
Read also: 20 y/o woman says her mum forced her to start working right after polytechnic