Latest news with #Gran
Metro
12 hours ago
- General
- Metro
I tried to give Gran a hug – her reaction still haunts me
As soon as Gran opened her front door, I excitedly ran over to embrace her. But just as I got close, she forcefully pushed me away. I was 10 and visiting her during the school holidays, alongside my older brother and mum. She hugged my brother warmly and spoke to him affectionately. Meanwhile, I kept getting told off for things that went over my head. To this day, I still don't know why she thought I deserved that – and similar interactions have routinely happened ever since. My maternal grandmother has never written me a warm message in a Christmas or birthday card, told me funny stories from her younger days, or even looked concerned for my welfare. In fact, she's been actively hostile. By the time I was in college, she'd make disparaging remarks like, 'you'll never work in your life' or 'you'll just live on benefits'. This is despite me voluntarily mowing Gran's lawn, washing her car, painting her fences, and helping out wherever I could between my studies. Her words hurt and made me angry. I wanted to react but my mum would shake her head as if to say 'don't'. I felt stifled and had to bottle up my feelings. On one occasion around the same time, I stayed overnight and – without provocation – she said I was 'emotionally thick', that I'll amount to nothing and I'll die alone. I was in total shock at what I heard. I was lost for words. I was stunned that my mum didn't say anything. During university, I actively avoided Gran whenever I could. But at my graduation in the mid-2010s, she came to the ceremony with my parents and brother, even though I didn't want her there. While the rest of the family were away from the table at one point, she said to me that I'd likely be in the dole office the following week. She spread a bizarre and unfounded rumour I was a neo-Nazi Three years of university, hard work, an exchange semester abroad and volunteer work in my free time, from teaching English privately and working in charity shops to gain retail experience. None of it seemed to matter to her. I felt invalidated. I calmly replied that wasn't to be the case because I'd received a scholarship for an intensive language course in Germany and had a job lined up after that. Gran simply grimaced and looked away quickly as my brother and parents returned, as if to hide what had just happened. Even after I moved to Germany, her nastiness continued, and she spread a bizarre and unfounded rumour I was a neo-Nazi. Once again, I didn't confront her. I was discouraged from saying anything by other relatives and told it wouldn't make any difference. I lived and worked in Germany for a few years, then came back to the UK and got a job in the NHS. But when I called Mum to tell her my happy news, Gran was in the background and I heard her say: 'That sounds like a lot of responsibility for someone like you.' Thankfully, Mum stood up for me on this occasion but I ended the call and felt so upset that another good moment had been spoiled. The physical and mental toll of her actions has been immense. I've gained a lot of weight and I have high blood pressure, low self-esteem, and I recently had to take time off work due to depression. My work arranged counselling sessions, and Gran's demeanour towards me was a key focus. I told the therapist that I believed it has led to my lack of any sense of belonging within our family as well as a constant need to validate or justify my every action. I feel like an outcast and adrift. The therapist could only surmise that there was significant damage and it would take more than just our sessions to begin any sort of healing process or self-care. To this day, I have never had an explanation for why Gran dislikes me or treats me the way she does. Whenever I have expressed to my mum, dad and brother that I want to confront Gran, I am discouraged and told that I'll never get an answer. And so, I have lost all hope of any successful confrontation. Devastatingly, I found out that her hostility even predates my birth, when it was revealed that she had even suggested my parents abort me. This series aims to offer a nuanced look at familial estrangement. Estrangement is not a one-size-fits-all situation, and we want to give voice to those who've been through it themselves. If you've experienced estrangement personally and want to share your story, you can email My Gran is still alive, but we have no relationship. It is understandably difficult for my mum, who lives with Gran and feels caught in the middle, so for her sake I keep any interaction to a bare minimum: a polite 'hello', 'goodbye' or 'thank you', even if it is not reciprocated. As harsh as it sounds, I pretend Gran isn't in the room so that I can properly teach myself to ignore her frequent grimaces and scowls behind Mum's back, which most recently occurred at my brother's wedding. Given that I was his best man, I had a duty to perform and was not going to let any negativity spoil my brother's day. More Trending I could not let Gran win – and on that day, she didn't. This is not just estrangement – it's abuse – and I don't deserve to be treated that way. Grandmothers are supposed to be protectors, guides, and teachers. Mine can't even give me a hug. Thankfully, I have come to appreciate over the years that, no matter what twisted reason she thinks she has for hating me, it's simply her loss. Do you have a story you'd like to share? Get in touch by emailing Share your views in the comments below. MORE: My date showered me with compliments – until I turned down his request MORE: My date said I had one drink to impress him – so I downed it MORE: A weekly 'porn night' helps keep my relationship alive Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.
Spectator
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Spectator
Maoist China in microcosm: Old Kiln, by Jia Pingwa, reviewed
Old Kiln is a novel spoken by the muse of memory but carved into shape by the fear of forgetting. Jia Pingwa (b.1952) wrote the first draft in 2009 after visiting his home village. Remembering a prolonged bloody conflict that tore the village apart during the Cultural Revolution, he was disturbed to find all traces of it gone – and the younger generation knowing nothing about either the violence or the Cultural Revolution itself. Old Kiln also confronts a similar amnesia afflicting the entire country. The fictionalised village is China writ small – its kiln that fires porcelain providing the book's title. Jia is superb at marshalling large-scale scenes of chaos and balancing them with quieter interiors. The novel revolves around two characters: the impish orphan boy Inkcap and his grandmother Gran, doddering yet gifted at paper-cutting and all sorts of folk traditions. Although both are considered 'bad elements' in Mao's class categories, Gran's skills make her indispensable, while Inkcap cheerfully runs errands for everyone. This little flunky is a child savant, able to commune with animals and smell the scent of looming death or disaster. Unlike conventional protagonists, however, the duo are mostly tangential to major events, as the novel shifts its focus to other characters. Spring returns at the end of the book and the Cultural Revolution rages on. Leaders on both sides are publicly executed, among them Bash, the handsomest man in the village. His illegitimate child is born; Inkcap survives; and Gran, now completely deaf, remains the old wise woman. When Inkcap's New Year's lantern burns out, she tells him: 'If you have a lantern, you can light the road ahead, but you can still go walking without one.' Inkcap wants to go to school, thinking that with an education he might indeed go walking one day without a lantern. Jia is Inkcap, who has seen too much but has understood little; he's also Gran, 'who used her eyes to take in the world, looking at all kinds of people and pigs and cows and dogs'. With a schoolteacher father persecuted during the Cultural Revolution, Jia has known political injustice firsthand and allows the details to tell the story: smouldering anger over poverty and corruption, ignited by Mao's radicalised anti-establishment politics, bursts into flames of self-destructive violence. Hatred is unleashed and base instincts are stirred, setting neighbour against neighbour and fracturing the community. 'Revolution' often serves as a flimsy pretext for revenge and an opportunity to exploit chaos for power. Old Kiln is not an easy read. It refrains from appealing to emotional sympathy. Details build concrete scenes yet tend to defuse the drama. Still, the vivid imagery, spare prose and sinuous structure are rewarding, and its publication is a small miracle. It's hard to imagine that such a novel could be written, let alone published, in China today. Once an open wound that every writer wanted to tear at (giving rise to the genre of 'scar literature' in the early post-Mao era), the Cultural Revolution is a taboo subject under Xi Jinping. Thanks to the efforts of three highly capable translators, Old Kiln now has the chance of a new lease of life.
Yahoo
10-07-2025
- Sport
- Yahoo
Iga Swiatek owns 5 Grand Slam titles and finally can try to add to that at Wimbledon
Switzerland's Belinda Bencic fails to return to Poland's Iga Swiatek during a women's singles semifinal match at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in London, Thursday, July 10, 2025. (AP Photo/Joanna Chan) Iga Swiatek of Poland returns to Belinda Bencic of Switzerland during the women's singles semifinal match at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in London, Thursday, July 10, 2025.(AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth) Iga Swiatek of Poland celebrates winning the women's singles semifinal match against Belinda Bencic of Switzerland at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in London, Thursday, July 10, 2025.(AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth) Switzerland's Belinda Bencic fails to return to Poland's Iga Swiatek during a women's singles semifinal match at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in London, Thursday, July 10, 2025. (AP Photo/Joanna Chan) Iga Swiatek of Poland returns to Belinda Bencic of Switzerland during the women's singles semifinal match at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in London, Thursday, July 10, 2025.(AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth) Iga Swiatek of Poland celebrates winning the women's singles semifinal match against Belinda Bencic of Switzerland at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in London, Thursday, July 10, 2025.(AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth) LONDON (AP) — More comfortable on grass courts than ever, Iga Swiatek played as well as she ever has on the slick surface — well, better than ever, actually — to reach her first Wimbledon final by defeating Belinda Bencic 6-2, 6-0 at Centre Court on Thursday. Swiatek will face Amanda Anisimova for the trophy on Saturday. Whoever wins will be the eighth consecutive first-time women's champion at the All England Club. Advertisement 'I never even dreamt that it's going to be possible for me to play in the final,' said Swiatek, who has won five Grand Slam titles elsewhere and spent most of 2022, 2023 and 2024 at No. 1 in the WTA rankings. Good as she is on clay courts, especially, and hard courts, too, Swiatek only once had been as far as the quarterfinals at Wimbledon until this week. 'I'm just super excited and just proud of myself,' the 24-year-old from Poland said after wrapping up the victory over Bencic in just 71 minutes. 'Tennis keeps surprising me. I thought I lived through everything, even though I'm young. I thought I experienced everything on the court. But I didn't experience playing well on grass. That's the first time.' There were signs of a breakthrough right before Wimbledon: She made her first career final on grass in a tournament at Bad Homburg, Germany — losing to Jessica Pegula, then crying on court — and that also happened to be her first final at any event in more than a year. Advertisement The last 12 months also including a doping case in which Swiatek wound up with a month ban after it was determined she was exposed to a contaminated medical product used for trouble sleeping and jet lag. Now she is one win away from ending her overall championship drought and adding to the Grand Slam hardware she already has earned: four titles at the French Open and one at the U.S. Open. She is 5-0 in major finals, while Anisimova, a 23-year-old from the United States, will be making her debut in that round at a major on Saturday. They played each other as juniors when they were teens but never have met as professionals. Advertisement 'She can play amazing tennis and she loves fast surfaces, because she has a flat game,' Swiatek said about Anisimova. 'So you have to be ready for fast shots, for her being proactive. But I'm just going to kind of focus on myself.' So what is the secret to Swiatek's grass prowess lately? 'I improved my movement and I am serving really well and I feel really confident, so I'm just going for it,' said Swiatek, who listened to AC/DC, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Guns N' Roses before her semifinal. 'For sure, it's working.' ___ AP tennis:
Calgary Herald
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Calgary Herald
Review: Rosebud's Dream proves second chances worth giving
Article content Edmonton writer and musician Terry Bachynski's new musical, Dream, is very much at home in Rosebud. Article content It's a deeply personal project that tells the story of how Bachynski's father, an orphan at age 15, was rescued from the streets and a life of crime and sent to a farming community near Toronto. Article content Article content In the musical's title song, the young hero Eddie says his dream is to have a room of his own with a bed and maybe two chairs, and people who care about him. It's his way of saying he wants a loving family. His father was a drunk who beat his mother, him and his brother. The foster farms he had been sent to previously were not the family he dreamed of. They made him sleep in the barn, eat leftovers, and the abuse was emotionally scarring. Article content Article content Gran, the widow he's sent to as a last resort, not only offers him her youngest son's room but also shares her meals with him. Eddie is grateful, but he's convinced his good fortune is going to come with strings, if not at Gran's home, then in the town. Article content Article content Article content Eddie's greatest adversary is Mr. Mueller, the father of Joannie, the girl who befriends him at school and sees the damaged child beneath his streetwise facade. Eddie is able to create a new family there, but eventually must choose between them and his real family when his brother needs him to help pay off a debt to a local crime boss back in Toronto. Article content Director Morris Ertman, who has been guiding this musical for almost four years, takes a page out of Thornton Wilder's classic Our Town and uses minimal set pieces and props, and an ensemble playing folksy characters to tell this very real and moving story. He even has a character called Songwriter, who is the omnipotent narrator of Eddie's story, much like the Stage Manager in Thornton's play. Article content Article content Article content The Songwriter is underused. He plays the judge at the beginning of the show, and a town gossip called Rita, but he needs to play even more characters, and he needs to be much more of a presence. They've got a great actor in Christopher Hunt to play the manager of the local Co-op store, but this is a part the Songwriter should play, seeing how important he is to the romance that develops between Eddie and Joannie. Aaron Krogman is such a dynamic presence, he's definitely up to the challenge. Article content The character of Gran is also underused. She's such a feisty woman and a real musical theatre staple. She needs a least a couple of solos, and again, in Annette Loiselle, Rosebud is only giving us a glimpse of what this actor can do. Article content As Eddie and Joanne, Mark Kazakov and Karyssa Komar, have strong, expressive voices, so they do justice to Bachynski's songs and dialogue, but he needs to define the moment that liking turns to loving and, more importantly, their initial embrace. Eddie loathes to be touched because of something that happened to him, so when Joanne and Eddie do embrace, it should be a huge moment that deserves a song.
7NEWS
28-05-2025
- Entertainment
- 7NEWS
The Amazon Echo Show 8 is under $130 and Aussies are calling it their ‘favourite family assistant ever'
It's time to turn your house into a smart home. Amazon's Echo Show 8 (2nd Gen) is currently 44 per cent off, down from $229 to just $129, and honestly, it might just be the hardest-working (and most entertaining) device you'll ever own. This clever 8-inch smart display is like having your own personal assistant, newsreader, DJ, chef, home security guard and children's entertainer in one sleek touchscreen device. And yes, you can even ask it to play fart noises with new command that is sure to send the kids into fits of laughter. Here's what makes it such a winner: One-tap access to everything: Check your calendar, to-do list, traffic updates, weather, or news headlines all in one glance. Works like a dream with Alexa: Control smart light bulbs, security cameras and more using just your voice. Built-in camera for video calls: With auto-framing that keeps you centred, you'll always look your best (even on those Sunday catch-ups with Mum). Entertainment hub: Stream movies, shows and music from Netflix, Prime Video, Spotify and Apple Music. Photo frame feature: Display your favourite snaps in style with adaptive colour and Amazon Photos integration. But where the Echo Show 8 really shines is in its family-friendly extras. New research from Amazon Alexa found nearly half of Aussie parents, 47 per cent, feel like they've forgotten how to be silly under the weight of adulting. Which is exactly why Alexa's Let's Get Silly mode was created, you only need to say one thing – ' Alexa, Let's Get Silly '. From dance parties and sound quizzes to silly impressions and a new Silly Farts feature, this smart screen brings genuine laughs and bonding moments for the whole family. Parental controls mean it's totally safe for kids, too, with filtered content and no sneaky purchases allowed. So whether you're catching up on the news, calling Gran, , Echo Show 8 has the whole family covered.
