28-06-2025
Hyderabad is undateable
I was introduced to dating apps in 2017, and my first choice for a place was Heart Cup Coffee Jubilee Hills. Things have gone topsy-turvy like any relationship, and here I am in 2025 asking someone out on a date. And which place did I choose? Heart Cup Coffee Jubilee Hills.
Why? There was a comedy club there, and I was a regular. Is it a lucky venue? No. The club shut down, and every relationship that blossomed in that venue ended. It's not lucky for me, but it's consistent.
Have I not grown as a person? Have I not been to other places? All false. The reason for my uncanny repetition is that Hyderabad is a difficult place to take a date. Even hanging out with a woman is totally limited to cafés or malls.
All other places are just landmines when you're with a woman.
Let's say I plan the best possible date my brain can imagine. And my brain mostly binge-watches TV series. In those shows, the date-asker usually takes their date to a place of natural beauty, like a lake or beach.
The closest beach to Hyderabad is 400 km away in Chirala. The only kind of dates you go there for are cyclone dates — in case you want to storm out of the relationship.
Yeah, a long drive is another option. But where do I drive to?
Most people go around the ORR and take a meal break at the airport. Driving is a job. Four limbs and part of your brain are constantly involved.
Sure, I can slow it down... only to make the girl wonder, 'What a slow driver. Maybe he isn't as cool as his Tinder bio says'. And if you drive fast, you might just die trying to impress her by overspeeding your Alto on a 120 kmph lane.
After all that focus on the drive and the woman, you finally reach the airport and see the sign that says 'Departure' — and instead of a directional sign, what if she thinks it's a direction from above?
