02-07-2025
If Most People Get HPV at Some Point, Do You Need to Tell Partners You Have It?
The sexually transmitted infection human papillomavirus (HPV) is really, really, ridiculously common. Roughly 13 million people get it each year, according to CDC data, and it's safe to assume that if you're sexually active, you will likely have it at some point in your life—giving it the dubious honor of being the most common STI. There are many strains of the virus, most of which aren't dangerous and have no symptoms, so you can get it and get over it (your body fights and clears it on its own) without ever knowing. It also means you can unknowingly give it to someone else—which is a big part of the reason it's seemingly everywhere.
Indeed, it might seem like since HPV is all around us, there's no real need to inform your sexual partners if you have it. They either have it, too, or are bound to at some point, right? So why make it awkward? "It's a bit of a quandary—there are so many different strains of HPV that most people have had at least one," Idries Abdur-Rahman, MD, a board-certified ob-gyn, tells SELF. Plus, you can only get tested for the virus if you have a vagina, so depending on who you're telling, they may not even be able to find out whether they have it, too, Dr. Abdur-Rahman explains (more on that later). Those factors combined with the fact that HPV is often harmless means it's natural to wonder if speaking up is worth it, he says.
But the truth is that, although HPV is common, certain strains of the virus can be dangerous. And as with any STI, there's a certain amount of honesty you owe to a partner if you know that you may pass something along to them—even if it seems like it's probably NBD. Here's what you need to know before you give yourself permission to keep mum.
Many of the 200-plus viruses that fall under the HPV umbrella won't harm you at all, and you'll never know you had one because they often clear from your system all on their own, Antonio Pizarro, MD, an ob-gyn, urogynecologist, and female pelvic medicine expert in Shreveport, LA, tells SELF. But there are several strains—usually types 6 and 11—that cause genital warts, or little clusters of flat or raised bumps you can pass to a partner. Wart-causing strains are considered 'low-risk,' because they rarely cause cancer but in some cases, they might.
And there are 12 'high-risk' types of HPV that can cause cancer of the vagina, vulva, penis, anus, head, and neck. Of those, types 16 and 18 are to blame for most HPV-related cases of cancer, including cervical cancer. If you know that you are HPV positive, chances are it's one of these higher-risk strains: HPV tests don't screen for every 200-plus virus; they only look for a dozen or so strains that are more likely to cause cancer.
But having one of these types doesn't automatically mean you'll develop any health issues. In fact, chances are, you'll still clear the infection and be HPV-free with no lingering effects. "Unless it causes untreated cancer, HPV is not lethal, and it's very likely to simply go away on its own," Dr. Pizarro reiterates. However, "even if a person—male or female—who's been exposed doesn't develop cancer, HPV can be passed on to subsequent partners and lead to cancer for them. This needs to be disclosed the way any other STD needs to be disclosed," Dr. Pizarro says.
An HPV test is done as part of routine cervical cancer screening…which means you have to have a cervix to ever learn if you do, in fact, have HPV. For the test, your ob-gyn will swab the inside of your vagina and way up into the cervix, collecting a sample of secretions, and sending it to a lab. A Pap smear, which is done the same way, tests for changes in cervical cells and not the HPV virus specifically—but typically, an abnormal result is highly suggestive of HPV. The recommendations for when to get which test are a little confusing, but the most likely guideline your ob-gyn will follow is that of the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), which advises anyone with a cervix aged 21 to 29 is screened with a Pap every 3 years, and then from age 30 to 65, with an HPV test every 5 years. Alternative options include getting a Pap every 3 years or getting a combined HPV/Pap (called a co-test) every 5 years.
But there's no commercially available HPV or HPV-adjacent test for people with penises, Dr. Lew notes. 'They have done studies on HPV in [cis] men, so a test must exist, but it's not a test you could go into a doctor's office and ask for,' Dr. Lew says. Since HPV is asymptomatic until it progresses to the point of causing cancer—unlike other STIs that might cause pain during urination or discharge, prompting someone to seek medical care—if you aren't subject to cervical cancer screening, you'll likely go your entire life never knowing you have or had it.
The exception: 'If you genital warts, then you can assume you have some version of HPV,' says Dr. Lew. The wart-causing strains of the virus are not usually the same ones that cause abnormal Pap smears and cancer, but it's still good to know and important to disclose to your partner that you have a form of HPV that causes genital warts. (Because reminder: In some situations, these strains can turn into cancer, which is why they are called 'low-risk' and not 'no-risk.')
Although people with penises are often none the wiser if a partner gives them HPV, they can also still end up getting cancer: About 40% of HPV-related cancers happen in cis men. If you have one of the higher-risk strains, it could put your partner at risk for several types of cancer, and telling them gives them the chance to talk to their doctor and keep a closer eye on their health. It also lets them know that they might be at risk of passing that scarier strain on to future partners.
To be honest, safe sex isn't guaranteed to fully prevent you getting any STIs (though it's certainly better than doing nothing). But since HPV is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, barriers like dental dams and condoms don't protect you from getting it during sex as much as they do against STIs passed via mucous membranes and bodily fluids, like syphilis and gonorrhea.
'Condoms do help protect against HPV infection,' Jennifer Lew, MD, an ob-gyn at Northwestern Medicine Regional Medical Group, tells SELF. 'But like all STIs, they can't offer complete protection because they are only covering a small section of the body parts that come in contact [during sex],' she explains. Ultimately, though, 'it's the best we have for protecting yourself or your partner,' so it's always a good idea to use protection, despite its imperfections.
So, how can you protect yourself and others? Well, abstinence is always an option (albeit an impractical one). Because HPV can infect multiple areas of the body, this would mean not having vaginal, oral, or anal sex…ever. Limiting your sexual partners can also reduce your exposure. The best way to avoid any of the risky types of the virus is by getting the HPV vaccine, which protects against the two low-risk wart-causing strains and seven of the ones that cause the majority of cancers. It's approved for all genders, FYI. The vaccine is most effective when taken before you're sexually active and exposed to HPV, but is approved for people up to 45. If you weren't vaccinated earlier in life, talk to your doctor about whether it's a good option for you.
So many people have HPV. 'It's not a badge of shame,' Dr. Pizarro says, so telling someone doesn't need to be a huge production. 'I would just bring it up as saying you've tested positive for HPV, it's super common, and a lot of people have it," he says.
Dr. Lew is a proponent of always disclosing HPV to your partner, if you know you have it. 'It brings honesty to the relationship,' she says. It can also bring up some sticky feelings—including guilt on one partner's part, if they could have been the one to give it to the other unknowingly. It's important to remember, and perhaps communicate to your partner, that the majority of people have had HPV and it's almost impossible to track who gave it to whom and when…so it's likely just counterproductive to focus on that.
Talking to your partner about an HPV diagnosis may also prompt a larger conversation about STIs and encourage you both to get a full panel done. It's never a bad idea to check in and get a test every now and then to make sure everyone is healthy and safe.
If you're apprehensive, scared, angry, or feeling any other emotion after an HPV diagnosis, lean on your ob-gyn for assurance and guidance. Figuring out what HPV means for your health and sex life can be immensely confusing, thanks in large part to the fact that there are so many different strains. If you're not totally sure what to make of all this information, you're not alone. Even ob-gyns have different ways of thinking about the potential risks, so be sure to bring up any questions or concerns with your own doctor who can discuss your specific diagnosis.
Related:
Is There an Age Limit for the HPV Vaccine—and How Effective Is It for Adults?
You Can Absolutely Get an STI From Oral Sex
These Are the Only Kinds of Birth Control That Also Protect Against STIs
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Originally Appeared on Self
