2 days ago
How To Know You're Working For A Narcissist—And What To Do About It
Selfish man puts a crown on his head, he stands on a man in the form of a bridge over a precipice. ... More Concept of selfishness
Great leaders inspire—narcissists control.
If your boss demands loyalty, constant praise, and complete obedience—but offers none in return—you're not just in a toxic job. You're in psychological danger.
And it's more common than you think.
UC Berkeley's Professor Jennifer Chatman describes narcissistic leaders as 'grandiose, dishonest, blame-throwing, and credit-stealing.' They have a unique toxic ability to destroy trust, stifle collaboration and drive top performers out the door.
Five Red Flags You're Working For A Narcissist
It's all about them
You've seen it before. A narcissistic boss will hijack meetings, embellish their importance, and rewrite the narrative by claiming the great ideas are theirs, often at your expense.
Here are the tell-tale signs you should pay attention to:
Praise is a trap
They'll love-bomb you early, then pull back. This 'idealize-devalue-discard' cycle leaves you chasing approval you'll never consistently get.
Feedback is dangerous
Refusal to accept feedback is the top sign of a bad boss. Narcissistic leaders don't just ignore feedback—they retaliate against it.
They divide to control
They have favourites, and everyone knows it. They're shy about showing preference and very quick to punish when the mood changes. You will see the ongoing shifting of alliances, and they are masterful at pitting colleagues against one another. Confusion, chaos, and fear are their recipe for keeping those around them under control.
They manage up, not down
Image is everything for them. They perform for senior leaders while undermining the people they lead.
Remember, narcissistic bosses aren't just demanding—they're destabilizing. When left unchecked, they become the perfect storm to infect corporate culture.
What This Does To Your Mental Health
When you're working for a narcissist, it can lead to significant mental health issues.
Often, it triggers anxiety, burnout, and in extreme cases, symptoms of PTSD. The ongoing criticism, blaming, shifting landscape and emotional unpredictability can lead to chronic stress that impacts your mind and body.
As your confidence wanes, you doubt your capacity and abilities, overwork yourself to gain approval, and withdraw from your support networks.
Narcissistic leaders can cause intense self-doubt and emotional exhaustion, making even the most competent professionals question their worth.
But here's the thing - you're not powerless.
Five Strategies to Protect Yourself and Take Control
Here's how you take back control and crush the toxic boss.
1. Set boundaries early and stick to them
Narcissists test boundaries—constantly. Get clear on your non-negotiables for mental health: maybe you're not available 24/7, you won't accept disrespect, and you expect basic decency. Once you draw the line, hold it. Relentlessly.
2. Document everything
Document, document, document. Keep a log of conversations, deliverables and any signs of manipulation or gaslighting. Ensure you note the time, date, who was there, what was said and how it impacted you.
3. Speak in facts, not emotion
Skip emotional confrontations—you won't win. Stick to neutral, factual language: 'When we talked on Monday, you asked me to X. On Wednesday, you said Y. Now you're saying Z.' Let the inconsistency speak for itself.
4. Build horizontal alliances
Trust your peers, not the hierarchy. Build your network inside and outside your organization, as these buffers counter the isolation narcissists create.
5. Know when to walk
Sometimes the healthiest move is a strategic exit. If your mental health is being impacted and efforts to cope or confront fail, polish off your CV because it's time to leave.
Final Word
You're not too sensitive. You're observant.
If your boss demands loyalty, shuts down feedback, and makes everything about themselves, you're not dealing with a difficult personality—you're dealing with a narcissist.
It's not you—it's them. Protect your sanity. See the signs for what they are. And if your organization enables the abuse, walk away. Narcissists don't tend to change—and staying will cost you more than your job.
