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The Rudest Things You Can Do In Someone Else's House
The isolation of the pandemic gave many of us a newfound appreciation for simple forms of socialization, like getting together at a friend's home. Although we might be more freely attending house parties, potluck dinners and casual living room gatherings to watch sports on the couch, that doesn't give people free rein to behave however they'd like in someone else's space. We asked etiquette experts to share some common rude behaviors when visiting someone else's home ― and advice for avoiding them. 'When someone says 'Make yourself at home,' they usually do not mean this literally,' said Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. 'You should keep your feet off the furniture, and unless this is a close friend, you should not be opening the fridge without being asked to do so.' Wait for the host to give you the go-ahead to touch or interact with things you see. Until that happens, quickly ask for permission if something strikes your fancy. 'Ask before touching an object or removing a book from a shelf,' advised Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert, and co-host of the 'Were You Raised by Wolves?' podcast. 'Don't demand a tour of someone's home,' Leighton urged. 'Wait to be invited by your host.' Many people are happy to lead a little tour of their space when they invite people over, but that isn't true of everyone at all times. And if your host doesn't offer a tour, don't take it upon yourself to give yourself one, either. 'Don't take a tour of the house unless you are encouraged by the host to 'wander' around,' said Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, author of 'Modern Etiquette for a Better Life' and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. 'Know when it's time to leave,' urged Leighton. 'The number one complaint we hear from hosts is about guests who overstay their welcome.' You might still be enjoying your nightcap or get the sense everyone is having a great time chatting. But pay attention to the hosts' body language and suggest that those who want to continue hanging out relocate elsewhere. 'If your hosts have changed into their pajamas, that's probably a good sign that it's time to go,' Leighton added. Unfortunately, things happen when you're in another person's home. You might accidentally spill red wine on the carpet or knock over a lamp. Don't ignore or try to hide it. 'If you break something, or even just finish the roll of toilet paper, it is best to let your host know as quickly and quietly as possible,' Smith said. 'Refrain from peeking in cabinets and cupboards,' Smith advised. Of course, it's natural to be a little curious, and we've seen this exact behavior in countless movies. But resist the urge to look inside the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. 'Beware that some hosts put glass marbles in their medicine cabinets to catch snoopers in the act,' Leighton said. 'The marbles will ping around the bathroom and make a lot of noise for your host and all other guests to hear.' 'Never show up with an unexpected plus one,' Gottsman said. Sure, you might know the host loves hanging out with your cousin, or you think everyone will enjoy meeting the new guy you're seeing. But that doesn't mean you can extend an invitation without getting the go-ahead. Unless you were explicitly told that you may bring a plus-one (or plus-five), always ask before bringing anyone else into someone's home. Even if it's a casual gathering, shoot the host a quick text to make sure. 'If you have been invited for a meal, any dietary restrictions should be shared well in advance, not when you sit down at the table,' Smith noted. Don't just expect the meal to be vegan-friendly or not contain any of your allergens. Tell the host as soon as possible about any limitations you may have (and stick to actual limitations, not preferences). Regarding dietary restrictions, it's important to remember that the host's pets may have some, so don't share your food. 'Don't feed the host's dog under the table unless you ask your host first,' Gottsman said. 'The dog may have an allergy or be on a special diet.' 'Shoes on or off tends to be very individual specific,' Smith noted. 'Listen to what your host prefers.' It's understandable why many people prefer not to track the dirt and germs of the outside world into their homes when possible. 'Be prepared to remove your shoes if asked,' Leighton said. 'Throw a pair of socks or slippers in your bag if you don't like being barefoot and think you might be heading to a no-shoe household.' Smith also believes hosts should be prepared for their ask. 'Hosts that want shoes left at the door should also have slippers or socks for the guests,' she said. 'Hosts will also need to understand if the guest declines. Fashionistas prefer to keep their shoes on as part of their ensemble.' 'Don't switch place cards at the dinner table,' Gottsman advised. People put time and effort into hosting events like dinner parties, so respect what they put together and don't try to interfere or make changes. 'As a guest, you should arrive with a small gift for the host,' Smith said. However, there's no need to be too extravagant or overthink the host's gift. Pick up a nice bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers. It's the thought that counts. 10 Of The Rudest Things You Can Do At The Grocery Store The Rudest Things You Can Do On A Group Trip The Rudest Things You Can Do At The Beach
Yahoo
07-07-2025
- Yahoo
The Rudest Things You Can Do When Visiting Another Country
The experience of COVID lockdowns and border closures over the past couple of years has given many Americans a newfound appreciation for the privilege of international travel. In recent summers, the tourism industry saw a huge rebound in the form of 'revenge travel' to far-off places. Unfortunately, Americans don't have the best reputation as tourists abroad. But that doesn't mean you have to add to the 'ugly American' stereotype as you reenter the international travel game. 'It is imperative to avoid an egocentric view of the world while traveling,' travel blogger Rocky Trifari told HuffPost. 'You should always mind your manners abroad because etiquette can differ from one country to the next.' Though the intricacies and nuances of every culture may feel intimidating, there are some fundamental etiquette principles that can guide each trip. An easy way to approach etiquette abroad is to think about what not to do. With that in mind, we asked etiquette experts and travel professionals to share some common rude behaviors they've observed from tourists in foreign countries and lend their advice for avoiding these faux pas. 'While specific etiquette rules may differ around the world, good manners is universal,' said Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and co-host of the 'Were You Raised by Wolves?' podcast. 'Treating people with kindness and respect translates into every language.' 'Do not presume that everyone you encounter will speak English,' said Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. 'Know a few phrases in the local language. Do not speak louder hoping that the other person will suddenly understand you.' Before your trip, try to learn a bit of the local language and customs to ensure a more pleasant experience. 'Whether you're in a restaurant or shop, saying 'thank you' and 'please' in the local language can go a long way,' said Jessica van Dop DeJesus, founder and editor at The Dining Traveler. 'I also love using Google Translate to communicate while traveling. It's a great tool to bridge communication in a foreign country. I recently traveled to Japan, and being able to write what I needed in Japanese at restaurants helped me get around much better.' 'You'll have a better time if you know what to expect, so best to brush up on the local etiquette rules before you set sail,' Leighton said. 'These etiquette rules are definitely not a secret, and there's virtually no corner of the globe that hasn't been covered online somewhere. Just look it up!' You can avoid awkward or frustrating situations by just doing a little research before your trip. 'Learning about a culture's etiquette is part of the fun of travel, and you'll have a richer travel experience if you fully participate,' Leighton added. 'A few fun international tips: Don't cheers with beer in Hungary, be sure to say 'bonjour' when entering a shop in France and always hand out your business card with two hands in Japan.' 'One of the things I see a lot, especially living in Europe, is U.S. citizens speaking loudly on the phone, and the whole restaurant or bar can hear the conversation,' van Dop DeJesus noted. Avoid adding to negative stereotypes about Americans by taking phone calls outside or being mindful of your volume, especially while you're speaking English. Try to avoid making noise in other ways, like slamming car doors or stomping around. 'Practice vocal level control,' Abbott echoed. 'It doesn't matter your age, be it youth to well-seasoned, 'thou shalt not yell' or be obnoxious in any way no matter how tired you are, no matter what 'everybody else is doing,' no matter how much alcohol you've had.' She also urged against drinking too much alcohol in a foreign country. 'This isn't just about turning into that proverbial 'ugly American' but also about the increased risk of turning into just another visiting foreigner victim,' Abbott said, noting that drunk tourists are often targets for petty crime. 'You would do well both in proper etiquette and keeping yourself out of bad situations to dial it back a bit on the alcohol if you're so inclined.' 'Know that tipping varies greatly around the world,' Smith said. 'Some countries thrive on tips while others will find a tip insulting.' If you don't know the tipping protocol in another country, do your research or ask a trusted source to find out the cultural norms before ordering a meal at a restaurant there. Although tipping is standard practice in the U.S., that isn't the case everywhere. 'Under most circumstances, it would be considered rude to pay for a meal without leaving a supplemental tip in the U.S.,' Trifari said. 'In some countries, a tip is only left for exceptional service. It can be a token amount, perhaps one or two dollars in the local currency, if the service is outstanding. In other places, leaving a tip may even be perceived as offensive.' 'Perhaps the best way to make sure you are a respectful traveler is by having the mindset that you're just a visitor in a foreign land,' Lau said. 'You're not there to change things or to do things the way you would do them at home. You're there to experience the local culture and learn about new customs.' Rather than insisting things be done your preferred way or complaining about unfamiliar experiences, be polite and humble. 'Don't expect that a whole country is going to adapt to you,' said Claire Summers, the travel blogger behind Claire's Itchy Feet. 'I've seen so many tourists with an extreme sense of entitlement, and it's so uncomfortable to witness. So rather than getting frustrated and demanding, try taking a breath and adapting to a slower pace for a while. Who knows, you may like it!' Think of yourself as a guest in a stranger's home. And remember that your behavior reflects on yourself and the U.S. as a whole. 'The beginning and end of proper behavior, be it in the U.S. or most other countries popularly visited by U.S. citizens, be respectful, be gracious and keep in mind that you are ambassadors of this fine country,' Abbott said. Smith emphasized that cultural differences often manifest in faces and spaces, so do your best to understand the norms around things like eye contact and personal bubbles. 'Some countries have smiles at the ready while others only smile with their nearest and dearest,' she explained. 'Eye contact is also culturally specific. The more egalitarian cultures tend to have more eye contact. The more rigid cultures tend to have less eye contact.' Trifari recommended thinking about common gestures or movements like nodding as well. 'In Athens, I learned that Greeks typically do not nod or shake their heads to communicate the same way Americans are accustomed to,' he said. 'In Greece, this gesture can be considered impolite. To indicate 'no,' Greeks tilt the head backward once; nodding the head forward to signal 'yes.' If you find yourself uncertain, using the local language to communicate 'yes' or 'no' can help avoid any confusion or fears of sending the wrong message.' The typical amount of touch and distance between people in public places can also vary. 'Many cooler climates tend to have larger body-space bubbles, whereas many warmer climates tend to have smaller body-space bubbles,' Smith explained. 'Even standing in line is culturally specific. Pay careful attention to how others queue before taking your place.' 'Travelers need to make sure they wear something appropriate for the religious sites,' Lauderdale noted. 'We all want to look our best on vacation, but something revealing might not be welcomed in a religious place of worship.' In addition to preparing for different temperatures, take respect for local culture into account when you pack for your trip. Your favorite sneakers, fanny packs and sleeveless shirts might not be the right attire every step of the way. And even if you're going somewhere very hot, try to pack at least one outfit that provides more cover (in a lightweight, breathable fabric). 'Know what to wear. There are places, from religious sites to entire countries, where modesty is required,' Smith said. 'Some locations also 'dress for dinner.' This may require formal or semi-formal attire as well as the requisite footwear.' And on the subject of clothing, make sure you familiarize yourself with the rules around shoes when you enter someone's home or certain establishments. In many cultures, there's an expectation that guests will remove their shoes at the door. In addition to dressing respectfully while visiting religious sites and other places of deep significance to locals, you'll want to show reverence in your behavior. You may not be familiar with the traditions and culture surrounding the religion in question, but always err on the side of being quiet and courteous of others. 'Temples, churches and other places of worship are usually very beautiful and grandiose, which leads to many travelers wanting to capture the perfect photo,' Lauderdale said. 'However, when doing so, you could be interfering with people praying or other religious ceremonies.' 'Because you are in a foreign country, you might exhibit rude behaviors or faux pas without knowing. One of the most common ones is actually bargaining,' Lau said. Of course, many countries and cities have marketplaces where negotiating over prices is the norm, but that isn't true everywhere. And even if it is, the rules can vary. As always, do your research. 'Bargaining can be disrespectful, especially if you are in a place where bargaining is not acceptable,' Lau explained. 'But even in places where bargaining is acceptable, you can still anger the locals by bargaining incorrectly. If the vendor tells you a price and you respond by low-balling him, he might be insulted and kick you out of his shop.' Different cultures carry different expectations for timing and scheduling. Smith explained that some places follow more 'linear' notions of time, while others are more 'circular' or 'cyclical,' for instance. 'Linear cultures tend to keep careful time,' Smith said. 'It is important that you are right on time ― or early ― for reservations or gatherings. Circular cultures tend to be time fluid. When making plans, the timing is more of a suggestion than the rule.' 'Greeting a friend can look very different depending on which part of the world you are in,' Trifari said. 'Cultural differences can result in a warm welcome being perceived as cold, rigid or otherwise inappropriate.' Indeed, certain gestures or movements that indicate one thing in the U.S. might have a very different meaning in other countries. 'In the Netherlands, it is considered rude to shout a greeting from afar,' Trifari explained. 'The Dutch are modest people, and ostentatious behavior is frowned upon. When greeting someone from a distance, it is better to wave.' In some places, friends and acquaintances might greet one another with a smile or friendly nod, while in others, people might greet with a kiss or two on the cheek. As Trifari noted, 'knowing what to do — whether you shake their hand, bow, offer them a hug or walk together holding hands — can help to avoid an awkward situation for both parties by knowing what the other person may expect.' The Rudest Things You Can Do As An Overnight Guest In Someone's Home 50 Americanisms That Don't Make Sense To Foreigners 19 Baby Names That Might Raise Eyebrows In Other Languages
Yahoo
07-06-2025
- Yahoo
A Definitive Guide To Airplane Seat Etiquette
Perhaps one of the biggest pains of air travel is the part where you have to sit for hours in a tight, cramped seat. Over the years, there have been debates about the ethics of reclining your seat, sharing your armrests and other aspects of airplane etiquette. And people are divided when it comes to the question of how to use certain features ― or whether you should abstain entirely. So what is the right way to approach these in-flight considerations? Below, five etiquette experts share the rules and general guidelines they follow as air travelers. 'Whether to recline your seat is a matter of polite awareness,' Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, told HuffPost. 'We want to be able to maximize our comfort without inconveniencing anyone else. This is quite a challenge in the shrinking seats found nowadays on airplanes.' She noted that reclining is the norm for red-eye or long-haul flights, where there's an assumption that passengers will at least attempt to sleep. But for quick trips of under two hours, it's better to just remain in the upright position. If you want to recline your seat, show common courtesy to the person sitting behind you. Look back and make sure they aren't super tall and already cramped. They could also be juggling a baby on their lap or wearing a knee brace. These would all be reasons to refrain from reclining. If you ultimately decide to do it, at least give a warning. 'It's polite to alert someone behind you before reclining one's seat,' said Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and co-host of the podcast 'Were You Raised By Wolves?' 'I know I've nearly had my laptop snapped in half on more than one occasion by a seat that rapidly reclined without warning. And when reclining and going back up, it's considerate to do it slowly. It's easy to knock a hot cup of coffee off a tray with a seat that moves quickly.' You might also consider just reclining partly, if possible. 'For those fortunate enough to be seated in first or business class, this is not an issue,' Smith said. 'There is ample room to recline without impacting any other passenger's personal space.' 'The most commonly asked questions still remains 'Who gets the armrest when seated in the middle seat?'' said Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, the author of 'Modern Etiquette for a Better Life' and founder of the Protocol School of Texas. 'The most obvious answer, and the unspoken rule of protocol, is the person sitting in the most uncomfortable seat ― the middle ― gets the armrests on both sides.' Life etiquette expert Juliet Mitchell, also known as Ms. J, echoed this advice, noting that it's simply about common courtesy and empathy. 'Let's face it, this may not ever be a win-win situation,' she said. 'However, if you are fortunate enough to have the window seat, you can look out on the lovely clouds and monitor the landing. If you get the aisle, you may be able to stretch out a bit, or at the very least, you can get up and stretch without disturbing others. The middle seat person is stuck in the middle. So give the middle person a break and let that person be the decision maker with armrests.' If you're in a row with only two seats, the armrest between them should be shared, as there is no undesirable middle seat in that scenario. 'Now, for a row of four seats, 1–2–3–4, passenger 2 has the armrest between 1 and 2, passenger 3 has the armrest between 3 and 4,' Smith explained. 'The armrest between 2 and 3 is shared.' There are exceptions to the armrest rules, however. 'If you are a tiny human and the person next to you is folding themselves into a yoga pose to fit in the seat, you should share the armrest, even if it is 'yours,'' Smith said. 'Yes, humans are territorial creatures and when a resource is a premium, our thoughts quickly turn to what we can claim. But what separates us from many animals is our ability to empathize and work together. If you do not need space, offer to share.' Try to be mindful of others when it comes to moving seats. 'If the door of the cabin closes and you find yourself seated in the middle seat, next to the aisle seat, and no one is claiming the window seat, move over to give your seatmate and yourself more room,' Gottsman said. 'If someone is next to you and does not move, you can say: 'It looks like we are lucky enough to have a little extra room. Would you like to move across and we can use this seat for our extra magazines and laptops?' It's a subtle way of saying 'please move over.'' Gottsman also offered advice for what to do if someone asks you to swap seats with them. 'If someone asks you to change places with them so they can be closer to their family members, and the seats are equal, take one for the team and do it,' she said. 'If it's not an equal move and you will get stuck in the middle seat, you can say, 'I'm sorry, I am going to have to say no.' They will move along and ask someone else to change seats next.' As previously noted, there really isn't much space between airplane rows these days, so it's not uncommon to feel movement at the back of your seat. Keep this in mind when you're dealing with the seatback pocket in front of you. 'Seat pockets were designed to hold safety information, air sickness bags, and the occasional magazine,' Smith said. 'They are not designed as [a] footrest. Please do not try to hook the backs of your heel into the opening, as this may cause lower back distress to the passenger whose back you are now pressing.' She gave similar advice regarding the tray table. 'It is there for drinks, snacks, and the occasional meal. It was not designed to support your laptop, as a substitute drum set, or a drafting table. Your tray table is to hold lighter items,' Smith said. If you do need to use the tray for your computer or iPad, be considerate of how much motion you create. 'You should not be pounding away on your laptop keys or engaging [in] any ongoing jiggling, bouncing or tapping,' Smith said. 'The tray table is attached to the seat in front of you. Every movement of your tray table causes additional, and usually unwanted, movement of that seat and should be avoided whenever possible.' On the flip side, try to be polite to the passengers behind you if you need to ask them to ease up on their disturbance. 'Avoid glares and sighs when a child starts to cry or accidentally kicks the back of your seat,' Gottsman said. 'If someone kicks the back of your seat consistently, you can turn around and ask if they wouldn't mind being a bit more careful, saying something like 'I know we are in tight quarters, unfortunately I can't seem to move my seat forward' with a smile on your face. They will get the message.' She also urged passengers to speak to the parents, not the child, in these situations. 'In a pleasant but controlled voice, try saying: 'I know it must be hard to keep those little legs still for so many hours. Would you kindly keep an eye out, because I am trying to work/sleep/meditate/watch a movie and keep getting distracted. Thank you so much,'' Gottsman advised. Naturally, there are times during a flight when passengers need to get up to use the bathroom or take a stretch break. Be respectful of your neighbors during these moments. 'Do not climb over someone without their expressed permission,' Smith said. 'Those in the aisle seat should be allowed to rise and enter the aisle so that you can easily access your seat.' Patricia Rossi, a civility expert and author of 'Everyday Etiquette,' urged passengers to minimize time in the bathroom when possible. 'Do your business in the airport,' she said. 'That bathroom on the plane is not a day spa, so don't keep everyone waiting.' And when you do get out of your seat, don't treat the plane like your home ― it's a shared space filled with other people. 'When it comes to airplane etiquette, just because you can do something doesn't mean you necessarily should,' Leighton said. 'Walking around barefoot is certainly something you can do on airplane, but should you?' 'I worked in the airline industry for over 15 years, so I'm no stranger to rude passenger behavior,' Mitchell said. 'Since the advent of COVID-19, rude behavior, in general, has escalated and the airline industry has had to respond to some outlandish behavior to protect the life of passengers and crew alike.' To help promote a peaceful and civil atmosphere, she urged air travelers to pay attention to the little ways they can show respect for their crew and fellow passengers ― whether it's using a polite tone when speaking or cutting down on alcohol intake. 'Airplanes these days are tight, and a bit of consideration can go a long way in making everyone more comfortable,' Smith said. 'Before I board a plane, with all of the annoyance and indignities, I remind myself that I will be in a chair, in the sky, and how much faster it will be than other modes of transportation. A bit of perspective can shift your attitude towards the positive.' The Most Hygienic Way To Pee On A Plane 8 Secrets About Flight Delays You Need To Know Before Your Next Trip The Worst Foods To Eat Before Flying
