23-06-2025
Embracing ageing — growing older should be a privilege, not a burden
It's been eight years since I officially belonged in the 'youth' category. I am often reminded of this when I see adverts for group travel, study opportunities or discounts on subscriptions for young people, but also when I'm mistaken for being younger than I am. (On a side note, doesn't it seem as if there are no special opportunities or discounts for people not classified as either young or of pensionable age?)
More often than not, we want to be considered young or strive to remain young beyond our years because it is a time in our lives that society covets. You are at your peak vitality and the world is unfolding at your feet for you to discover and enjoy. Youth is associated with a state of wonder and unfettered carefreeness, so none of these assertions is altogether untrue.
Reflecting on being young and ageing, one of my favourite writers and activists, Maya Angelou, offers insight in a quote from her book of essays, Letter to My Daughter: 'I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honour our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up.
'I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry the accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are still innocent and shy as magnolias. We may act sophisticated and worldly, but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do.'
I take Angelou's point in this regard because I do not have any grudges against ageing. I see it only as a marker of time and a collection of experiences and memories that helps to shape the person you are and guide you through the world.
It is my position that being a certain age is not more enviable than the next in that it plays equal parts in informing who you are and enhancing your world view.
This sets up my next point, illustrated quite aptly by author Mark Twain, who said: 'Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.'
Wise words indeed as we make our way through a world that would have us deny our years and sometimes even makes us feel ashamed that we no longer qualify for the youth category. Being able to experience life in its fullness is indeed a privilege.
It is worth noting that the world can often be quite dismissive and cruel to those considered to be old or older, as if it is a mortal sin. It is wrong to look at youth and middle age and old age as competing parts of ourselves. To do so is to deny ourselves the beauty and learning of each stage.
There is much to be appreciated about the vitality, restlessness and wonder of being young. But equally so, entering the autumn of one's life brings with it a sense of soberness and quiet that reflects a natural progression towards a sageness that awaits. DM
This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R35.
