Latest news with #LisaMirzaGrotts
San Francisco Chronicle
4 days ago
- San Francisco Chronicle
How to be a better traveler: Etiquette tips for planes, houseguests and going abroad
The story of travel, particularly by plane, has been one of constantly changing rules and escalating frustrations. This century has been shaped by 9/11 attacks and the COVID-19 pandemic, both of which forever changed how we move through places of transport. But once you actually get somewhere, it's so worth it to leave your routine at home and immerse in another culture. With that in mind, I spoke to etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts, author of 'A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World,' about how to be a good traveler and guest in the 21st century. Grotts, who is based in Healdsburg and worked in the San Francisco Office of Protocol, likes to remind people that travel is about sharing space. 'Travel isn't private,' she said. 'As such, you're required to be mindful. Every step of the journey — airports, airplanes, lobbies, crowded sidewalks — are shared space. We are constantly moving along with others.' If you think this book isn't needed in 2025, Google 'bad airplane behavior,' 'misbehaving American tourist' or 'houseguest nightmare.' No one wants to be the person who inconveniences locals or fellow travelers. But everyone should know how to tactfully handle those people should they encounter them on their journey. How to be a good air traveler When in an airport, Grotts advises to 'move with purpose.' That doesn't mean bulldoze people, but walk with a destination in mind and try to stay out of the way of anyone who looks like they're in a bigger hurry. Also remember the rules of the road: The left side of the escalator and moving walkway is for passing. Pay attention to the Transportation Security Administration agents. If they tell you to take off your shoes or take out your electronics or dump that bottle of water, don't try to negotiate. And don't rush the gate at boarding. 'It's not like you're taking the last chopper out of Saigon,' said Grotts. 'Get to the gate when they call you.' Once on the plane, politely acknowledge your seatmate — but remember, 'they're not your captive audience.' Take their social cues, Grotts said, like putting on headsets or sleep masks, which are clear signs they're interested in solitude. It's also good plane manners to cede both armrests to the middle-seat holder. 'It's the least you can do for the worst seat,' she said. How and when to tip Tip hotel cleaning services daily, not a lump sum at the end of the trip. Tipping drivers is something to factor into the cost of any ride. Usually 10%-20% for a private car will suffice. Local tipping customs vary internationally, so Grotts encourages researching to figure out whether tip is included on bills. When dining in some European countries like France or Italy, for instance, a service charge often covers the costs of table service. That means tipping 5%-10% is a bonus. That should also be the range for tipping in bars, taxis and hotels. Asia's tipping culture is also different in each country. China, Myanmar, Singapore and Taiwan do not have a strong tipping culture, whereas hospitality workers in much of Southeast Asia — including Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and Malaysia — are more likely to expect tips. When in doubt: Overtipping only costs a few dollars more. How to be a good guest in someone's home Hostess gifts, something thoughtful they're not expected to share with you, are a must when staying in someone else's home. Grotts likes homemade items: jams, preserves, anything from your garden. I'm also a believer in hosting them when you're out to meals and visiting places with them. Above all, 'don't treat them like a bed and breakfast,' said Grotts. Most importantly, do not overstay your welcome. Mark a clear departure date, and make sure your host is comfortable with the extent of your visit. A few days after your departure, follow up with a handwritten thank-you note. How to be a good guest in a different culture You don't go through all the hassle of traveling to live life exactly as you do at home, so don't expect that when traveling elsewhere, Grotts said. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable in a new country. You're going to stumble (like accidentally insulting a Belgian by thanking them in French), but when are you going to see these people again? Just try your best. When in doubt, observe how the locals dress and behave in certain spaces. 'Learn the basics — hello, please, thank you, excuse me — in their language,' Grotts said. 'These are the words you should be using at home too. Your manners don't go on vacation when you do.'
Daily Mail
16-06-2025
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE Insiders reveal the shocking vacation etiquette mistakes that leave travelers fuming
Every summer, as people book their lavish vacations all over the country, they encounter wild and outlandish travel troubles once they reach overcrowded airports. From horrific airport fights breaking out at the terminal to baggage behavior that labels travelers rude and offensive, there are certain unwritten etiquette rules that come with vacationing. Not only are these behaviors mocked mercilessly in person, they're now broadcast to millions of people online, who call out others for their bad behavior in social media comments sections. Now, insiders are exclusively revealing to Daily Mail the absolute worst ways vacationers can behave, from forcing other tourists to swap seats with them against their will to cutting their toenails onboard. The worldwide baggage shipping company Luggage Forward conducted a study of airplane etiquette preferences and found the worst offenders (in order) were talking loudly on a plane, playing a video or music without headphones, eating smelly food, taking off your shoes, and using both armrests. Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts quite literally wrote the book on the subject as the author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World, which focuses exclusively on travel etiquette, and is telling Daily Mail what vacationers do wrong in the sky. One major faux pas that's gone viral in recent days? De-boarding the plane before those in front, which there's never a need for - even for people desperately trying to catch a flight. The hot topic often goes viral on social media, with podcast hosts discussing if it's ever acceptable, and content creators showing people standing and shoving out of their rows before it's their time to depart. Commenters on TikTok call the behavior 'so rude,' especially since it prevents others from getting their baggage when everyone stands up in the aisle and others rush past. In her travel etiquette manual, Grotts advises against de-boarding before those in front even with a tight a connection, writing, 'unless you're in labor or the plane's on fire, wait your turn,' because 'airplane aisles aren't a free-for-all.' Instead, Grotts, known as the Golden Rules Gal, suggests politely informing the flight attendant during the descent so they can ask others to allow you to disembark first. Grotts, who's based in California, told Daily Mail that 'pushing past people on your own' is simply 'never' an option. Cutting in a security line is considered just as tacky, as the etiquette pro advised speaking to a TSA agent instead if you're running late. Etiquette expert Genevieve 'Jenny' Dreizen, based in Edinburgh, Scotland, told Daily Mail that while everyone has had a 'panicked moment where we're sprinting through an airport hoping the gate isn't closed, in general, no, it's not okay to push past people to de-plane early just because you're in a rush.' Once on the plane is when the bad behavior can really get started, and that's when people get their phones out to document every second of it. One person horrified fellow passengers when they began dining on a tuna melt. Others have been shamed for eating 'smelly pasta' or pickled foods that stink up the plane. Grotts advised against dining upon odorous foods like tuna, eggs, and garlic, which are better left for home and Dreizen agreed that 'anything with a strong smell is best left behind,' including options 'that might make nearby passengers wrinkle their noses. 'It's not about shame, it's just about being mindful of the fact that everyone's stuck in the same recycled air for hours,' Dreizen clarified. Many people have broken into massive arguments over swapping seats on airlines, especially when couples or families attempt to guilt trip singles into giving up the spaces they carefully chose and paid extra for. It's become quite contentious, as groups believe they have the right to sit together, while solo travelers would prefer to stay in their seat of choice. Grotts said while it's 'fine to ask politely, don't guilt, demand, or manipulate someone out of a seat they booked and paid for.' There are also massive personal grooming mistakes people make while flying, including wearing a strong scent that could give a fellow traveler a migraine. While spritzing lightly pre-flight is fine, overly sweet scents can be headache-inducing when in small, enclosed spaces so never apply mid-flight or beforehand in the duty-free shops. Another no no? Toenail clipping or in-flight manicures, which Dreizen fittingly described as 'deeply unhygienic and very disruptive.' And no matter how comfortable it may seem, keep those shoes on. Dreizen believes that everyone 'should attempt to keep their shoes on for safety reasons because on a typical flight there's really no need to take them off.' 'No bare feet on the seats or in the aisle, ever,' Dreizen said, adding, 'It's a plane, not your living room.'
Newsweek
26-05-2025
- Newsweek
Fury at What Waitress Does To Cost Her a Tip on $300 Tab: 'It's Messed Up'
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. The internet has weighed in after a waitress lost a tip on a $300+ tab for repeatedly failing to bring one thing. As the man, who chose not to give his name but who posts to Reddit under the username u/Nerd_Rat, told Newsweek: "It's one thing to get bad service, but that was pretty blatant. The initial event really got under my skin. I don't think anybody likes being treated like that." He explained, in a post to the r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC sub on May 19, that he met a group of friends at a club and sat at their table, where they had already been ordering alcohol and food. As he wasn't drinking due to being on medication, he asked the waitress for a Sprite—and says "she gave me an awkward smile and said okay." She then returned 10 minutes later, without his Sprite, and asked his friends if they wanted another round. They ordered a round of shots and reminded her about the Sprite—but she returned with the alcohol, and again without the Sprite. When the same thing happened again, and he noticed the waitress didn't go to the bar to get his drink even after he asked a third time, he took matters into his own hands. He went to the bar, ordered his Sprite, paid and tipped the bartender, and returned to his seat. And later, when the waitress came with the bill that he estimated to be around $300 for the entire party, she tried to charge the man for the Sprite she never brought, claiming the bar had transferred the order to her. He wrote: "I don't know why I was so upset about the Sprite; it's just a Sprite. But my friends were also upset that I was being treated that way, so they all paid their tabs, left no tip, and wrote on the checks, 'You should have brought my friend a Sprite.'" The man was torn by what happened, as he usually thinks it's "messed up not to leave tips," and he only learned afterwards what his friends had done. But at the same time, he added, "I also don't like being discriminated against because I can't drink alcohol due to my medications." Reddit users responded in a big way, awarding the post more than 23,000 upvotes, as commenters weighed in. One took the party's side, writing: "I've worked as a bartender, waitress, and a barista. That kind of behavior doesn't just deserve a no tip, it also deserves a call to the bar owner to let them know WHY the waitress didn't get a tip." Another assured the man he shouldn't feel bad, as "it was up to your friends to leave a tip and they chose not to. She was not catering to the whole party, just the drinkers. I wouldn't have tipped her either," as another pointed out: "This service deserves no tip. Soft drinks and waters take less than 10 seconds to make." And as one put it: "She didn't provide a service to get tipped for. Your friends saw that she was blatantly ignoring you. That equals no tip." But etiquette consultant Lisa Mirza Grotts suggested the party could have taken a different approach, as while gratuity is optional, in the United States "it's customary and often expected." Pictured: Stock image of a woman holding a bill receipt at a restaurant. Pictured: Stock image of a woman holding a bill receipt at a restaurant. frantic00/Getty Images "When service is completely absent or disrespectful, diners may feel justified in withholding a tip," she told Newsweek, but urged: "Don't walk away in silence. Speak to a manager even when annoyed. This leaves the door open for resolution." A reduced tip "sends a clear message without cutting off the server's income entirely," and while the man did everything right in waiting, reminding the server and going to the bar himself, "the stronger move would have been to politely flag down a manager when it became clear the Sprite wasn't coming. A calm explanation allows for a real-time fix." The man told Newsweek he was "surprised" by the response to his post. "It felt good that the majority of people [agreed] with me, but there were quite a few who didn't, and I understand why," he said. "I do think it's important to tip people who aren't going to be getting a living wage otherwise, but that doesn't mean you can treat people poorly just because you think they won't tip." Do you have funny and adorable videos or pictures you want to share? Send them to life@ with some extra details, and they could appear on our website.
Yahoo
15-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
An Etiquette Expert Is Begging You to Never, Ever Show Up to a Party at This Time
We've all heard the term 'fashionably late' when it comes to social functions. No one wants to arrive at a gathering too early and hover anxiously around the host, or interrupt them as they put the final touches on the decor. But when it comes to arriving late to a party, it can be difficult to discern what an acceptable arrival time is. Should you follow the start time listed on your invitation as closely as possible, or hold off until more people have arrived?Although every party host's expectations are bound to be different, etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts of Golden Rules Gal warns that it's often better to be safe than sorry when it comes to planning your arrival time. As she puts it, being too 'fashionably late' isn't an indicator of your busy social life. Instead, it's often plain disruptive.'Arriving late to a party isn't a grand entrance,' Grotts says. 'It's a gamble, impolite and poor timing.'Still, you might find yourself wondering what a good rule of thumb is for event timing. At what point should you notify the host that you'll be late? If you insist on being fashionably late, exactly how late can you be without being rude? And what's the ideal arrival time to aim for in the first place?Below, an etiquette expert answers all the questions you might have about party arrival As a rule of thumb, it's better to arrive early and wait for the party's official start time than to show up long after your fellow guests have already made themselves comfortable. That being said, it's best to avoid showing up before the host has said the party will start unless you've been specifically invited to do so.'A good guest honors the host's rhythm, not their own watch,' Grotts says. 'If you must, drive around the block until the set time.' If you're aiming to be on your best behavior, being as punctual as possible is key.'There's a fine line between fashionably late and rudely disruptive,' Grotts notes. 'Respect the invitation as much as you'd want your own time to be respected.'Related: Your 'fashionably late' window depends on the exact event you're going to. For instance, Evite professionals note that guests at gatherings like dinner parties should arrive within 15 minutes of the stated start time, while the arrival time for larger parties or New Year's gatherings is more flexible. However, when in doubt, Grotts recommends showing up slightly earlier than you think just to be safe.'Remember it this way: Behave a little better than what is asked of you,' she says. 'To be fashionably late should be stylishly timed, not selfishly timed.' Grotts recommends letting your host know if you'll be more than 30 minutes late to the party, since 'anything beyond that is inconsiderate.'When in doubt, she says, 'reply early, arrive graciously.''One of my favorite memes [is]: An invite is a gift,' Grotts adds .'Responding on time is how you unwrap it!' Up Next:Lisa Mirza Grotts, of Golden Rules Gal
Newsweek
25-04-2025
- Newsweek
Why Woman Sat on Train Passenger's Purse Applauded: 'Inconsiderate'
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. A post about a passenger sitting on a fellow commuter's purse on a crowded train when the woman refused to move the bag to allow her to sit has gone viral on Reddit. The post by u/CyclingSkater, shared on April 24 in the r/AmItheA****** subreddit, received over 6,700 upvotes and hundreds of comments debating train etiquette and public courtesy. The poster, who identified herself as a woman, recounted her daily commute in a "metropolitan city" where trains are often packed during rush hour. On this particular day, the poster said she walked through multiple train cars in search of a seat and came across a seat taken by a woman's bag. "I asked this woman if I could sit there and she pretended to not hear me," the poster wrote. "I didn't want to tap her shoulder because you never know how people would react so I waved a bit to get her attention and she said she didn't want to hold her bag (which was a no)." Despite saying that there were no other empty seats and the train was about to depart, the woman continued to ignore her. With no alternative, the poster said she sat down on the purse. "She began yelling at me telling me I'm a b**** and told me to move because she never said I could sit there. I told her that there was no other seat and the train was departing," the poster added. Stock image: A woman grabs a bag placed on a middle seat next to her. Stock image: A woman grabs a bag placed on a middle seat next to her. iStock / Getty Images Plus Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts, author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World, told Newsweek: "In travel, as in life, grace is the best carry-on." She added: "Your seat is not a throne. Share and share alike." The American Community Survey (ACS) found that public transportation commuters accounted for around 5 percent of all workers in the United States in 2019, before the COVID-19 pandemic, the U.S. Census Bureau reported in April 2021. Though public transportation was a "relatively uncommon method" of traveling to work in the country as a whole in 2019, "it played a prominent role in certain places, like the cities of New York, where over 2 million people commuted by public transportation, and San Francisco, where over one-third of workers did so," the bureau said. The confrontation in the Reddit post escalated until a conductor intervened. According to the poster, the conductor asked the seated woman if her purse was occupying a seat. She did not respond. The conductor reportedly advised her to "be considerate" and continued checking tickets. At the next stop, the woman threatened to report the poster to the police for "touching her belongings" and demanded compensation for the purse, claiming it was dented. She also said that, since she had a rough day, she needed personal space and that others should have arrived earlier to claim a seat. 'Be Considerate of Space' Etiquette experts weighed in, agreeing with the poster's frustration and emphasizing the importance of courtesy in shared public spaces. Grotts said: "Be considerate of space. Don't sprawl; during busy times, less is more; and keep your luggage tucked away—not center stage." Etiquette expert Jules Hirst, co-author of Power of Civility, told Newsweek that, while stressful situations can test patience, they are precisely when good manners matter most. "Seats on public transportation are for passengers and not for your belongings," Hirst said. "This train was almost full due to the afterwork rush commute. The seated passenger should have shown some civility and moved their belongings so a fellow passenger could sit down." Addressing the poster's decision to sit on the purse, Hirst said that it may not have been ideal but understandable. "The seatless passenger waved to get the attention of the seated passenger, explained the situation and was ignored. The seated passenger prioritized her purse over the needs of a fellow human being," she added. "Public transportation is a shared space, so the seated passenger needed to share and did not," Hirst said. 'Her Purse Doesn't Get a Seat' The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the poster. In a top comment with more than 8,000 upvotes, u/uncommonbreeddogmom wrote: "It's public transit. Her purse doesn't get a seat because she had a bad day." Other users echoed the sentiment. "She really thought that seat came with a bag reservation tag or sum," u/Sablefernglow commented. "You asked nice multiple times and she ignored u … ppl [people] love acting like victims when they were inconsiderate first …" Many Reddit users used humor to underline the absurdity of the situation. "Seats are for butts, not bags," wrote u/awkwardlypragmatic. Another, u/Ellend821, added: "NTA [not the a******] and this is hilarious, I'm using this tactic next time." "NTA. Public transit seats are for people, not purses," wrote u/Arorua_Mendes. "What were you supposed to do, levitate? Her rough day doesn't trump basic transit etiquette … Her bag doesn't pay fare, and your actions were justified." Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system. Do you have a travel-related video or story to share? Let us know via life@ and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
