5 days ago
VOX POPULI: Symbolism of a woman's ‘hanko' that bears only her given name
The Lower House Committee on Judicial Affairs held discussions June 13 on multiple opposition party bills that would allow married couples to have different surnames. The bills were not voted on and will be discussed again at a special session of the Diet scheduled for the fall. (Asahi Shimbun file photo)
Before I left home to go to university, my mother presented me with a small gift.
Nestled in a small, glossy scarlet case was a 'hanko' personal seal that is commonly used in Japan to serve as an official signature.
The seal was engraved with my given name only. No surname.
My mother explained, 'I want you to be able to keep using this even if you get married.'
Probably because I was rebelling against everything back then, I mentally rolled my eyes at what I felt was my mother's overreaction.
About 10 years later, I got together with my mother for the first time in a while.
She started the conversation with these words: 'I have been wanting to apologize for a long time.'
Her formal demeanor made me brace myself for what might follow. But it quickly became clear she was referring to the hanko she gifted me.
Here's the gist of what she told me: When she got married, she took her husband's surname as a matter of course. After I was born, she simply assumed that I, her daughter, would do the same upon marriage. And when the time came for me to leave home, she thought hard about what present to choose for me, and ultimately decided on that hanko that bore only my given name, so I could use it for the rest of my life.
But after gifting it to me, my mother recalled, she became aware of the unhappiness of women who didn't want to part with their own surname after marriage.
My mother felt terrible, she said, that by giving me that hanko, she could have forced her thinking on me: that it's for the woman to change her surname upon marriage.
I told her simply then, 'No worries.'
Afterward, when I was alone, I opened the hanko case. The message I saw there was, 'It's perfectly OK to live freely.'
And I also started wondering: When I realize that my 'common sense' or 'goodwill' might have hurt someone, would I be capable of acting as my mother did?
I imagine that it took countless repetitions of 'small voices' to change the thinking of people of my mother's generation.
Today, over 60 percent of Japanese people agree that married couples should be allowed the freedom to have different surnames. And yet, the Diet keeps dragging its feet on what to decide.
My hanko with no surname is still sleeping in the back of my desk drawer. It has become my treasure.
--The Asahi Shimbun, July 12
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Vox Populi, Vox Dei is a popular daily column that takes up a wide range of topics, including culture, arts and social trends and developments. Written by veteran Asahi Shimbun writers, the column provides useful perspectives on and insights into contemporary Japan and its culture.
