Latest news with #Mam
Metro
11-07-2025
- Politics
- Metro
I saw my first dead body aged 8 - it wasn't the last
The Bosnian War took everything from me – my home, my dad, uncles, and friends. Everything I once knew. Before the war, my childhood in my hometown village of Barane (in the south of modern day Bosnia and Herzegovina) was amazing. My family was Muslim – made up of my dad, mam, older brother, and older sister. The only things that mattered to me were which cartoons we watched, which books we liked, and – most importantly – which football clubs we supported. But slowly, our childhood games changed. We stopped playing hide and seek, and started playing soldiers, tanks, and camps. When I was seven years old, the siege of Sarajevo by Serb forces began and Bosnia became the setting of Europe's only genocide since the Holocaust. I wasn't aware that Serbian and Croatian politicians were equating Bosnian Muslims to animals, insects, and disease. One day, I even remember finding Mam crying in front of the TV. She quickly wiped her tears, then hugged me, kissed me on the head, and told me not to worry. Years later, I realised she had been watching the war spread across Bosnia. In spring 1992, war came to our village. At first, it felt surreal. After about two months, my parents made a decision that we had to flee our home for our own safety. In the first nine months of war, we moved 14 times before we eventually settled with one of my uncles in a nearby village. Things got much worse in the summer of 1993 when Croatian forces began rounding up Muslim men into concentration camps, including my dad and most of my male relatives. Some of my cousins were just 16 years old. I cried myself to sleep that night. In the aftermath, I wouldn't leave my mam's side. There were also camps for women and children and on August 4, we were rounded up in a 'collection centre'. That's when we were searched by Croatian soldiers. Mam was forced to sign a document stating she was giving up everything we had for 'safekeeping' to the local council. One of the soldiers even tried to bribe me with chocolate to tell him if we were hiding anything. I remember seeing myself crying in the reflection of his sunglasses. We were then loaded onto cattle trucks along with other families and driven a couple of hours towards Bosnian government territory, south of Mostar. That day was the first time I stepped over a dead body to survive. We eventually made our way to my aunt Emina's house, my mam's older sister, where we were allowed to stay. We were exhausted, frightened, and starving. Life was really difficult at Emina's house because thousands of shells rained on the city daily. We fell asleep hungry every night, but my mam and aunt were so resourceful. They used chicken feed to make bread and grass to make pies. We started school as an act of defiance, but it was safest to go at night. I was desperate to learn to read and write because we started receiving letters from my dad through the International Red Cross. This is when we learnt what had happened to him. He ended up in Dretelj, a former military complex, and kept in one of the tunnels that went deep into the mountain. Within weeks of arriving in the concentration camp, he lost four stone (25kg) after being treated very badly. He still can't talk about the full details. He was there for a few months before the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) helped secure the release of around 500 prisoners. The UK was one of several countries to take in refugees. My dad was brought to Newcastle. We were so relieved that he was safe and we desperately wanted to be reunited with him. Unfortunately, it would be six full months until that was possible. In the meantime, on the night of January 24, 1994, Croat forces dropped bombs from a plane onto Mostar. Through my classroom window, I saw our street in flames. It turned out that my auntie Emina was wounded. She had been standing at the front door when she heard the plane, then the blast threw her back into the house. Family members managed to get her to a hospital, but it lacked medical equipment and medicine. She died the following morning on January 25. I lost all faith in humanity. My life felt fragile and meaningless. On June 19, the Red Cross came to find us in Mostar and gave us two hours to decide whether we would leave Bosnia. It was a difficult decision to leave my grandparents and cousins, but I was excited to see my dad again. We were then taken to a refugee camp in Croatia, where we spent exactly a month. We arrived in London on July 19 and flew to Newcastle later that day. We were reunited with my dad at the airport that same day. My sister spotted him in the crowd first and ran to him, then my brother followed quickly after her. Smajo Bešo is the founder of the Bosnian Genocide Educational Trust. For more information about the work they do, visit their website here. I held on to my mam. I was frightened, nervous, and shy. But as soon as I saw him approaching us, I ran to him. I feel like I can still feel that hug now. I was so happy, but that feeling didn't last. On our first night in Newcastle, I woke up screaming. I suffered with PTSD for many years after that. Ever since, we rarely discussed what we went through, but I have since realised that my family has been reliving the same trauma for generations. My great grandad was in a concentration camp during the First World War, then my grandad in the Second World War, and finally my dad in Bosnia in the 1990s. I grew up wondering if this fate awaited me too. Our plan was always to stay in the UK temporarily, but we learnt in the years since that our house had been torched. We still have the key to the home though because a part of us believes we'll go back one day. After high school, I went to Newcastle University to study architecture, completing both my undergraduate and Master's degrees. I started working as an architect before moving to the university to teach architecture in 2016. I've had the urge to tell my story ever since I was a child. It helped me feel like I was moving toward justice. Importantly, it helped me heal. I came to understand that my story could be a powerful tool for peacebuilding. Only by acknowledging the truth of the past can we build a safer, more just future. So I started sharing, anywhere people were willing to listen. Hundreds of times a year, up and down the country. In 2020, I established the Bosnian Genocide Educational Trust. Then in 2023, I was awarded an OBE by King Charles for my work in genocide and Holocaust education. I attended Buckingham Palace with my wife, Allija, and mam. It was an emotional day for all of us. More Trending I must say, I have never been as frightened as I have been over the past year. The language used by far-right politicians today is eerily reminiscent of the rhetoric Serb and Croat nationalists used in the 1990s. Despite everything my parents experienced in Bosnia, they remain beacons of strength, hope, and inspiration. We just celebrated my dad's 73rd birthday and my mam's 65th. They were surrounded by all their children and grandchildren, it was a beautiful day. My parents always say, those who tried to exterminate us, to break our spirit, to dehumanise us, only managed to dehumanise themselves. Yet here we are, three generations together, full of life, love, and laughter. Do you have a story you'd like to share? Get in touch by emailing Share your views in the comments below. MORE: Delays and diplomacy: Inside Starmer's migrant deal announcement with Macron MORE: UK and France agree to 'one in, one out' migrant deal within weeks MORE: I struggled on stage like Lewis Capaldi – I'm in awe of his return
7NEWS
05-07-2025
- Sport
- 7NEWS
Broncos' top-four charge is on as Ezra Mam leads comeback
Ezra Mam has engineered a Brisbane comeback for the ages, keeping the Broncos in the race for the NRL top four with a 22-18 win over Canterbury. On a Friday night when the Bulldogs' halves picture grew even murkier, Brisbane scored four tries in the final 20 minutes to win the game after trailing 18-0. Booed with every touch of the ball at Accor Stadium, Mam was at the centre of it all as he laid on three perfect passes late to mask over a poor Brisbane first half. The result kept the Broncos within two wins of the top four and the injury-stricken Warriors, and marked their second victory over Canterbury this year. Down on confidence and strike a month ago, the Broncos have now won four straight after also overhauling a 16-point deficit against Cronulla last month. But for 60 minutes on Friday, this looked like it would be anything but a good night for a Broncos side fielding two debutants. Selwyn Cobbo had a nightmare first half at fullback, while halfback Adam Reynolds sent two kicks out on the full and had another charged down. Canterbury never looked at their absolute best either, with Lachlan Galvin and Toby Sexton in the halves, and Matt Burton shifted to centre. But at 18-0 after 60 minutes and with Canterbury on the attack, it looked as if the Bulldogs had done enough to move back, momentarily, to the top of the ladder. Enter Mam. The five-eighth breathed life back into the Broncos when he made use of some broken play, shrugged off two defenders and sent Josiah Karapani over. Five minutes later he again created havoc on the left, laying on a beautiful cut-out ball to put centre Delouise Hoeter between two defenders and make it 18-10. Billy Walters also starred after doing likewise against Cronulla a fortnight ago, scoring a crucial try when he deceived Connor Tracey out of dummy-half. Then it was Mam again who produced the match-winner, juggling a ball before this time going short to second-rower Brendan Piakura to put him across. Mam has been the most controversial figure in rugby league this year after his nine-match ban for crashing a car while driving unlicensed and with drugs in his system. But after being Queensland's 18th man for State of Origin II, he was the difference on Friday night. 'The way Reyno (Reynolds) and Ezra are coming together, they are starting to grow together a bit,' coach Michael Maguire said. 'Ezra took the game on. I saw Reyno talk to him at halftime about what they needed to do, and he went out there and did it.'' Cobbo also had two big plays late in his first NRL game in five weeks, after a nightmare first half when the Dolphins-bound star failed to clean up two kicks in the lead-up to Bulldogs tries. Filling in at fullback, he and Deine Mariner first let Burton chase through on his own kick and score. Another then came when a Galvin bomb was allowed to bounce, and Viliame Kikau strolled over. For Canterbury, the loss left more questions than answers about their halves after Burton was shifted to the centres with Stephen Crichton and Jacob Kiraz in NSW camp. Galvin and Sexton played on both sides of the ruck, but the Bulldogs were constantly guilty of pushing too many passes and searching for points. Several balls also went down on Galvin's left edge, as he and Burton struggled to find cohesiveness down that side. 'We were trying to land knockout punches when we got some good ball,' coach Cameron Ciraldo said. 'The Broncos were defending well, and I think we just got frustrated and handed the ball over way too cheaply. 'We were trying to force it too much.'
The Advertiser
04-07-2025
- Sport
- The Advertiser
Broncos' top-four charge is on as Mam leads comeback
Ezra Mam has engineered a Brisbane comeback for the ages, keeping the Broncos in the race for the NRL top four with a 22-18 win over Canterbury. On a Friday night when the Bulldogs' halves picture grew even murkier, Brisbane scored four tries in the final 20 minutes to win the game after trailing 18-0. Booed with every touch of the ball at Accor Stadium, Mam was at the centre of it all as he laid on three perfect passes late to mask over a poor Brisbane first half. The result kept the Broncos within two wins of the top four and the injury-stricken Warriors, and marked their second victory over Canterbury this year. Down on confidence and strike a month ago, the Broncos have now won four straight after also overhauling a 16-point deficit against Cronulla last month. But for 60 minutes on Friday, this looked like it would be anything but a good night for a Broncos side fielding two debutants. Selwyn Cobbo had a nightmare first half at fullback, while halfback Adam Reynolds sent two kicks out on the full and had another charged down. Canterbury never looked at their absolute best either, with Lachlan Galvin and Toby Sexton in the halves, and Matt Burton shifted to centre. But at 18-0 after 60 minutes and with Canterbury on the attack, it looked as if the Bulldogs had done enough to move back, momentarily, to the top of the ladder. Enter Mam. The five-eighth breathed life back into the Broncos when he made use of some broken play, shrugged off two defenders and sent Josiah Karapani over. Five minutes later he again created havoc on the left, laying on a beautiful cut-out ball to put centre Delouise Hoeter between two defenders and make it 18-10. Billy Walters also starred after doing likewise against Cronulla a fortnight ago, scoring a crucial try when he deceived Connor Tracey out of dummy-half. Then it was Mam again who produced the match-winner, juggling a ball before this time going short to second-rower Brendan Piakura to put him across. Mam has been the most controversial figure in rugby league this year after his nine-match ban for crashing a car while driving unlicensed and with drugs in his system. But after being Queensland's 18th man for State of Origin II, he was the difference on Friday night. "The way Reyno (Reynolds) and Ezra are coming together, they are starting to grow together a bit," coach Michael Maguire said. "Ezra took the game on. I saw Reyno talk to him at halftime about what they needed to do, and he went out there and did it.'' Cobbo also had two big plays late in his first NRL game in five weeks, after a nightmare first half when the Dolphins-bound star failed to clean up two kicks in the lead-up to Bulldogs tries. Filling in at fullback, he and Deine Mariner first let Burton chase through on his own kick and score. Another then came when a Galvin bomb was allowed to bounce, and Viliame Kikau strolled over. For Canterbury, the loss left more questions than answers about their halves after Burton was shifted to the centres with Stephen Crichton and Jacob Kiraz in NSW camp. Galvin and Sexton played on both sides of the ruck, but the Bulldogs were constantly guilty of pushing too many passes and searching for points. Several balls also went down on Galvin's left edge, as he and Burton struggled to find cohesiveness down that side. "We were trying to land knockout punches when we got some good ball," coach Cameron Ciraldo said. "The Broncos were defending well, and I think we just got frustrated and handed the ball over way too cheaply. "We were trying to force it too much." Ezra Mam has engineered a Brisbane comeback for the ages, keeping the Broncos in the race for the NRL top four with a 22-18 win over Canterbury. On a Friday night when the Bulldogs' halves picture grew even murkier, Brisbane scored four tries in the final 20 minutes to win the game after trailing 18-0. Booed with every touch of the ball at Accor Stadium, Mam was at the centre of it all as he laid on three perfect passes late to mask over a poor Brisbane first half. The result kept the Broncos within two wins of the top four and the injury-stricken Warriors, and marked their second victory over Canterbury this year. Down on confidence and strike a month ago, the Broncos have now won four straight after also overhauling a 16-point deficit against Cronulla last month. But for 60 minutes on Friday, this looked like it would be anything but a good night for a Broncos side fielding two debutants. Selwyn Cobbo had a nightmare first half at fullback, while halfback Adam Reynolds sent two kicks out on the full and had another charged down. Canterbury never looked at their absolute best either, with Lachlan Galvin and Toby Sexton in the halves, and Matt Burton shifted to centre. But at 18-0 after 60 minutes and with Canterbury on the attack, it looked as if the Bulldogs had done enough to move back, momentarily, to the top of the ladder. Enter Mam. The five-eighth breathed life back into the Broncos when he made use of some broken play, shrugged off two defenders and sent Josiah Karapani over. Five minutes later he again created havoc on the left, laying on a beautiful cut-out ball to put centre Delouise Hoeter between two defenders and make it 18-10. Billy Walters also starred after doing likewise against Cronulla a fortnight ago, scoring a crucial try when he deceived Connor Tracey out of dummy-half. Then it was Mam again who produced the match-winner, juggling a ball before this time going short to second-rower Brendan Piakura to put him across. Mam has been the most controversial figure in rugby league this year after his nine-match ban for crashing a car while driving unlicensed and with drugs in his system. But after being Queensland's 18th man for State of Origin II, he was the difference on Friday night. "The way Reyno (Reynolds) and Ezra are coming together, they are starting to grow together a bit," coach Michael Maguire said. "Ezra took the game on. I saw Reyno talk to him at halftime about what they needed to do, and he went out there and did it.'' Cobbo also had two big plays late in his first NRL game in five weeks, after a nightmare first half when the Dolphins-bound star failed to clean up two kicks in the lead-up to Bulldogs tries. Filling in at fullback, he and Deine Mariner first let Burton chase through on his own kick and score. Another then came when a Galvin bomb was allowed to bounce, and Viliame Kikau strolled over. For Canterbury, the loss left more questions than answers about their halves after Burton was shifted to the centres with Stephen Crichton and Jacob Kiraz in NSW camp. Galvin and Sexton played on both sides of the ruck, but the Bulldogs were constantly guilty of pushing too many passes and searching for points. Several balls also went down on Galvin's left edge, as he and Burton struggled to find cohesiveness down that side. "We were trying to land knockout punches when we got some good ball," coach Cameron Ciraldo said. "The Broncos were defending well, and I think we just got frustrated and handed the ball over way too cheaply. "We were trying to force it too much." Ezra Mam has engineered a Brisbane comeback for the ages, keeping the Broncos in the race for the NRL top four with a 22-18 win over Canterbury. On a Friday night when the Bulldogs' halves picture grew even murkier, Brisbane scored four tries in the final 20 minutes to win the game after trailing 18-0. Booed with every touch of the ball at Accor Stadium, Mam was at the centre of it all as he laid on three perfect passes late to mask over a poor Brisbane first half. The result kept the Broncos within two wins of the top four and the injury-stricken Warriors, and marked their second victory over Canterbury this year. Down on confidence and strike a month ago, the Broncos have now won four straight after also overhauling a 16-point deficit against Cronulla last month. But for 60 minutes on Friday, this looked like it would be anything but a good night for a Broncos side fielding two debutants. Selwyn Cobbo had a nightmare first half at fullback, while halfback Adam Reynolds sent two kicks out on the full and had another charged down. Canterbury never looked at their absolute best either, with Lachlan Galvin and Toby Sexton in the halves, and Matt Burton shifted to centre. But at 18-0 after 60 minutes and with Canterbury on the attack, it looked as if the Bulldogs had done enough to move back, momentarily, to the top of the ladder. Enter Mam. The five-eighth breathed life back into the Broncos when he made use of some broken play, shrugged off two defenders and sent Josiah Karapani over. Five minutes later he again created havoc on the left, laying on a beautiful cut-out ball to put centre Delouise Hoeter between two defenders and make it 18-10. Billy Walters also starred after doing likewise against Cronulla a fortnight ago, scoring a crucial try when he deceived Connor Tracey out of dummy-half. Then it was Mam again who produced the match-winner, juggling a ball before this time going short to second-rower Brendan Piakura to put him across. Mam has been the most controversial figure in rugby league this year after his nine-match ban for crashing a car while driving unlicensed and with drugs in his system. But after being Queensland's 18th man for State of Origin II, he was the difference on Friday night. "The way Reyno (Reynolds) and Ezra are coming together, they are starting to grow together a bit," coach Michael Maguire said. "Ezra took the game on. I saw Reyno talk to him at halftime about what they needed to do, and he went out there and did it.'' Cobbo also had two big plays late in his first NRL game in five weeks, after a nightmare first half when the Dolphins-bound star failed to clean up two kicks in the lead-up to Bulldogs tries. Filling in at fullback, he and Deine Mariner first let Burton chase through on his own kick and score. Another then came when a Galvin bomb was allowed to bounce, and Viliame Kikau strolled over. For Canterbury, the loss left more questions than answers about their halves after Burton was shifted to the centres with Stephen Crichton and Jacob Kiraz in NSW camp. Galvin and Sexton played on both sides of the ruck, but the Bulldogs were constantly guilty of pushing too many passes and searching for points. Several balls also went down on Galvin's left edge, as he and Burton struggled to find cohesiveness down that side. "We were trying to land knockout punches when we got some good ball," coach Cameron Ciraldo said. "The Broncos were defending well, and I think we just got frustrated and handed the ball over way too cheaply. "We were trying to force it too much."
Sydney Morning Herald
21-06-2025
- Sport
- Sydney Morning Herald
‘I shouldn't have driven': Ezra Mam reflects on that crash, Leniu, and the lessons learned
'Definitely. We've had a chat, and we're comfortable with each other now,' Mam says. 'The biggest thing is that we addressed it. I feel for Spencer, too, it would not have been an easy thing to deal with, either. 'I really respect him for coming up to me and we can move on from that. If we are ever in the same team, I wouldn't have a problem.' Footage of that Leniu embrace sparked a fresh slew of headlines. Mam has been no stranger to them in his young career. Not all of them have been positive. Few figures in Australian sport have ridden a rollercoaster quite like Mam's past 24 months. In the 2023 grand final, for all but the last 20 minutes, the Brisbane playmaker was the best on ground. However, a late Nathan Cleary masterclass wrenched away not only a premiership ring, but also a Clive Churchill medal. Then there was the Leniu incident, and the media storm that ensued. Yet nothing could prepare him for what was to come. On October 18, 2024, Mam was behind the wheel of his ute when it collided with an Uber at Bardon. A child and a woman suffered minor injuries and while Mam tested positive to cocaine at a roadside drug test, he passed the breathalyser test with no alcohol involved in the incident. The 22-year-old pleaded guilty in Brisbane Magistrates Court to one count of driving while relevant drug is present in blood, and driving without a licence. He left court with a suspended license and $850 lighter, but without a conviction. The NRL and the Broncos then applied sanctions of their own, totalling fines of $120,000, as well as a nine-game ban. When asked about what he has learnt from the incident, he offered: 'In hindsight, I didn't think about how my actions can impact others. 'Obviously I'm trying my best to learn from that now, I'm here to make better decisions for myself. 'There's no excuse for my actions, I've got to own that now. I'm still learning to deal with everything. I feel very remorseful for everything that happened. 'For me, I was dealing with stuff in the wrong way. I need to learn from that. That's how I grow as a person. Experiences like this, you can take a lot away from it and I feel like I've taken a lot away from this situation to improve myself in many different ways.' In handing down his sentence, Magistrate Mark Nolan chided Mam for taking 'a cocktail of cocaine and other matters that were found in your blood'. It is a comment that has been seized upon in much of the subsequent reporting, and prompted some commentators to conclude the penalties were insufficient. While Mam makes no excuses for his behaviour, he clarified that the only substances detected in his blood outside of cocaine were 'Paracetamol and Ibuprofen', which were administered to him at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital. 'I shouldn't have driven,' he says. 'There was cocaine in my system, 0.01mg in my blood, which was from days earlier. That's my biggest regret, I wish I had not done that in the first place.' 'There's no excuse for my actions, I've got to own that now. I'm still learning to deal with everything.' Ezra Mam on the crash incident On legal advice, Mam has not been able to reach out directly to the victims of the accident. 'To be honest, I was more worried about everyone else than myself,' he says when asked if he feared his Broncos contract would be torn up. 'I just wanted to care for others in the accident, how they were first and foremost … 'For me now it's about getting back to who the real Ezra is. Doing the little things on and off the field the right way, continually working on myself to be a better person on and off the field. 'For me, I want that final goal, which is the grand final premiership. And to be a role model, for kids to look up to.' The last comment resonates. The personal growth Mam has undertaken since the incident hasn't been lost on Michael Maguire. The Brisbane coach believes a leader is emerging after witnessing the transformation Mam has undertaken after stints in rehab and on a job site. 'He's found a higher appreciation of what he does, what he's fortunate to do,' Maguire says. 'That's where I've seen him grow, he's actually a really good fella. 'As he goes through this period, he will learn how to lead, not just through the organisation, but also his own people of the Torres Strait Island. 'And then there's the community of young men navigating life. He will be able to tell the story of how he has had to deal with adversity in a big way. 'The way he communicates and does things, he has an opportunity to influence many. Influence is the big word I always talk about.' During his sabbatical, Mam undertook labouring work. The experience of concreting, carpentry and Queensland Cup – Mam initially returned to football via Souths Logan – was a humbling one. 'It was a really good experience for myself,' he says. 'I'd wake up at 4:30am to train at 5am and then shoot over to work. I'd work from 6:30-7am to about 3:30-4pm and then be back to the gym. 'For me it was a big couple of months. A bit of carpentry, concreting, bit of everything. I learnt a lot of skills on the way. Coming back into Q Cup, working every day, I'm privileged to be doing what I love doing. 'As he goes through this period, he will learn how to lead, not just through the organisation, but also his own people of the Torres Strait Island.' Broncos coach Michael Maguire 'That's what I've been doing since I was a young kid, I'm very fortunate to be back playing and doing what I love to do.' Just four NRL games into Mam's return, Queensland coach Billy Slater called him into his wider squad for Origin II. The decision hasn't gone down well with everyone, particularly those who believe he should have paid a greater penance. Loading 'I'm really self-focused on the moment, looking to better myself,' he says. 'I appreciate that others may be upset. I can't control other people's thoughts, all I can do is hopefully start to rebuild some integrity over time with my actions. If I'm allowed to play, obviously I'll play. 'I was very surprised and grateful for the [Maroons] opportunity and took it with both hands. 'When [Slater] calls, it's hard to deny a chance to go into the Origin squad, you always say yes. It was a good experience for me.' During a career that has spanned just 60 games, Mam has already endured a bumpy ride. The destination remains unknown, but he is excited about what comes next.
The Age
21-06-2025
- Sport
- The Age
‘I shouldn't have driven': Ezra Mam reflects on that crash, Leniu, and the lessons learned
'Definitely. We've had a chat, and we're comfortable with each other now,' Mam says. 'The biggest thing is that we addressed it. I feel for Spencer, too, it would not have been an easy thing to deal with, either. 'I really respect him for coming up to me and we can move on from that. If we are ever in the same team, I wouldn't have a problem.' Footage of that Leniu embrace sparked a fresh slew of headlines. Mam has been no stranger to them in his young career. Not all of them have been positive. Few figures in Australian sport have ridden a rollercoaster quite like Mam's past 24 months. In the 2023 grand final, for all but the last 20 minutes, the Brisbane playmaker was the best on ground. However, a late Nathan Cleary masterclass wrenched away not only a premiership ring, but also a Clive Churchill medal. Then there was the Leniu incident, and the media storm that ensued. Yet nothing could prepare him for what was to come. On October 18, 2024, Mam was behind the wheel of his ute when it collided with an Uber at Bardon. A child and a woman suffered minor injuries and while Mam tested positive to cocaine at a roadside drug test, he passed the breathalyser test with no alcohol involved in the incident. The 22-year-old pleaded guilty in Brisbane Magistrates Court to one count of driving while relevant drug is present in blood, and driving without a licence. He left court with a suspended license and $850 lighter, but without a conviction. The NRL and the Broncos then applied sanctions of their own, totalling fines of $120,000, as well as a nine-game ban. When asked about what he has learnt from the incident, he offered: 'In hindsight, I didn't think about how my actions can impact others. 'Obviously I'm trying my best to learn from that now, I'm here to make better decisions for myself. 'There's no excuse for my actions, I've got to own that now. I'm still learning to deal with everything. I feel very remorseful for everything that happened. 'For me, I was dealing with stuff in the wrong way. I need to learn from that. That's how I grow as a person. Experiences like this, you can take a lot away from it and I feel like I've taken a lot away from this situation to improve myself in many different ways.' In handing down his sentence, Magistrate Mark Nolan chided Mam for taking 'a cocktail of cocaine and other matters that were found in your blood'. It is a comment that has been seized upon in much of the subsequent reporting, and prompted some commentators to conclude the penalties were insufficient. While Mam makes no excuses for his behaviour, he clarified that the only substances detected in his blood outside of cocaine were 'Paracetamol and Ibuprofen', which were administered to him at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital. 'I shouldn't have driven,' he says. 'There was cocaine in my system, 0.01mg in my blood, which was from days earlier. That's my biggest regret, I wish I had not done that in the first place.' 'There's no excuse for my actions, I've got to own that now. I'm still learning to deal with everything.' Ezra Mam on the crash incident On legal advice, Mam has not been able to reach out directly to the victims of the accident. 'To be honest, I was more worried about everyone else than myself,' he says when asked if he feared his Broncos contract would be torn up. 'I just wanted to care for others in the accident, how they were first and foremost … 'For me now it's about getting back to who the real Ezra is. Doing the little things on and off the field the right way, continually working on myself to be a better person on and off the field. 'For me, I want that final goal, which is the grand final premiership. And to be a role model, for kids to look up to.' The last comment resonates. The personal growth Mam has undertaken since the incident hasn't been lost on Michael Maguire. The Brisbane coach believes a leader is emerging after witnessing the transformation Mam has undertaken after stints in rehab and on a job site. 'He's found a higher appreciation of what he does, what he's fortunate to do,' Maguire says. 'That's where I've seen him grow, he's actually a really good fella. 'As he goes through this period, he will learn how to lead, not just through the organisation, but also his own people of the Torres Strait Island. 'And then there's the community of young men navigating life. He will be able to tell the story of how he has had to deal with adversity in a big way. 'The way he communicates and does things, he has an opportunity to influence many. Influence is the big word I always talk about.' During his sabbatical, Mam undertook labouring work. The experience of concreting, carpentry and Queensland Cup – Mam initially returned to football via Souths Logan – was a humbling one. 'It was a really good experience for myself,' he says. 'I'd wake up at 4:30am to train at 5am and then shoot over to work. I'd work from 6:30-7am to about 3:30-4pm and then be back to the gym. 'For me it was a big couple of months. A bit of carpentry, concreting, bit of everything. I learnt a lot of skills on the way. Coming back into Q Cup, working every day, I'm privileged to be doing what I love doing. 'As he goes through this period, he will learn how to lead, not just through the organisation, but also his own people of the Torres Strait Island.' Broncos coach Michael Maguire 'That's what I've been doing since I was a young kid, I'm very fortunate to be back playing and doing what I love to do.' Just four NRL games into Mam's return, Queensland coach Billy Slater called him into his wider squad for Origin II. The decision hasn't gone down well with everyone, particularly those who believe he should have paid a greater penance. Loading 'I'm really self-focused on the moment, looking to better myself,' he says. 'I appreciate that others may be upset. I can't control other people's thoughts, all I can do is hopefully start to rebuild some integrity over time with my actions. If I'm allowed to play, obviously I'll play. 'I was very surprised and grateful for the [Maroons] opportunity and took it with both hands. 'When [Slater] calls, it's hard to deny a chance to go into the Origin squad, you always say yes. It was a good experience for me.' During a career that has spanned just 60 games, Mam has already endured a bumpy ride. The destination remains unknown, but he is excited about what comes next.
