12-07-2025
Parents must lead in children's moral formation
Parents hold the primary responsibility for the ethical and moral formation of their children and should not delegate this vital role to the Church or other institutions, said Fr Albert Tan, SJ, pic, director of Maranatha House of Prayer. Jul 11, 2025
By Bob Ho Parents hold the primary responsibility for the ethical and moral formation of their children and should not delegate this vital role to the Church or other institutions, said Fr Albert Tan, SJ, pic, director of Maranatha House of at the sixth session of the Journeying as Pilgrims of Hope series, Fr Albert presented insights from Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), the late Pope Francis' apostolic exhortation on love in the family. The event was organised by the Firm Foundation Ministry at the Church of St Francis Xavier, Petaling Jaya.'A child's affective and ethical development is ultimately grounded in the experience that their parents can be trusted,' Fr Albert quoted from Amoris Laetitia, emphasising the central role of parents in shaping their children's values and emotional highlighted that ethical formation is not limited to teaching right and wrong but also includes protecting children from harmful influences — particularly media content and excessive screen time. However, he cautioned against obsessive control, echoing Pope Francis' warning that 'obsession is not education.'Instead, the Pope urged parents to help children grow in 'freedom, maturity, overall discipline, and real autonomy.' According to Fr Albert, this means guiding children to navigate challenges with a well-formed conscience and responsible use of Francis devoted an entire chapter of the 255-page exhortation to parenting, describing children as 'the fruitfulness of marriage' and 'living stones' that build up the family. The chapter covers topics such as discipline, sex education, the transmission of faith, and the importance of patient, realistic Albert praised the Pope's 'remarkable practical wisdom,' especially in advocating for small, gradual steps in child development that are 'understood, accepted and appreciated.''Family life,' he noted, 'is an educational context in itself,' with Pope Francis describing it as a place of 'shepherding in mercy,' where parents learn to contemplate their children with the eyes of God and recognise their Albert also drew attention to the Pope's encouragement for families to journey together in love, despite imperfections. 'No family drops down from heaven perfectly formed,' he quoted. 'All of us are called to keep striving towards something greater than ourselves and our families.'In dealing with those who struggle to fully live out God's law, Pope Francis proposed the via caritatis, the way of charity, as a pastoral path. Fr Albert highlighted the Pope's call to embrace people in their reality, rather than applying rigid ideals. 'A small step, in the midst of great human limitations, can be more pleasing to God than a life which appears outwardly in order,' he Albert clarified that an apostolic exhortation, unlike an encyclical, is not legislative but pastoral, meant to encourage reflection and inspire action. He described The Joy of Love as 'a compassionate, gentle, and caring pastoral letter' that speaks to families from the ground up, rooted in real-life experiences rather than abstract ideals.
He strongly recommended that families read Amoris Laetitia, calling it a source of hope and guidance for modern family life. 'The greatest benefit will come if each part is read patiently and carefully,' he advised. The document is available on the Vatican website:
The Journeying as Pilgrims of Hope series explores Pope Francis' major encyclicals and documents, providing Catholics with deeper pastoral and theological understanding.
