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The Star
06-07-2025
- General
- The Star
Dear Thelma: I am 17 and I made a big mistake with my friends using AI
Do you need a listening ear? Thelma is here to help. Email lifestyle@ The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, usefulness, fitness for any particular purpose or other assurances as to the opinions and views expressed in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses suffered directly or indirectly arising from reliance on such opinions and views. Those contemplating suicide can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935/014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999/019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); Jakim's family, social and community care centre (011-1959 8214 on WhatsApp); or Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929/email sam@ centres in malaysia). I'm 17 and I made a bad mistake that could have changed my life completely. It started like this. I curiously used an AI filter on (the images of) two of my friends for editing, and what was worse was that I sent it out to three other friends, causing them discomfort and making them upset with me. I now feel all the guilt of making them uncomfortable and at the same time, I realise the editing I created could have been a sexual offence as it had some over-18 content. I truly understand my situation, and I want to turn over a new leaf and request for forgiveness from my friends. This is only one thing; with SPM exams pulled forward to late October, I've been stressed out between schoolwork, studies and family, which doesn't help me in my case. In fact, it makes things worse as I have more things to think of, especially when I can't let go of the incident. Right now, I would like to know how I can request forgiveness from my friends, and also most importantly, how I can forgive myself for such a mistake that could have sent me on a different path. With me not forgiving myself and finding it hard to let go while coping with SPM preps, I need help in forgetting this situation as I have never done such a thing before. I need help to gain trust from friends, to show them that I am truly sorry. But most importantly, I need help to forgive myself. Sad and Hopeless Thank you for writing about such a sensitive topic. You won't like some of my suggestions but I think it's important you read until the end. You took your friends photos and altered them, creating either sexualised or sexually explicit images. You then passed these around. When you were called out, you realised you may have broken the law. You want to deal with this because your emotions are interfering with your exam prep. You haven't explained fully what you did, so here are some possibilities. There are popular filters that create sexualised images, especially anime. Some people use these fantasy filters for their own photos, and post them on their socials because they see the results as cute. Others find it humiliating. A few find it offensive. I hope it was one of these filters, because then an apology will fix hurt feelings. However, there are also filters that create sexually explicit images, filters that 'undress' or 'nudify', digitally stripping clothing from photos, and tools that swap heads onto nudes, creating deepfake porn. While men can be the target, it is most often women and girls who are victims. Creating and distributing images of others to embarrass, degrade and humiliate is bullying. In Malaysia, possessing, creating and distributing explicit images is illegal. People can be penalised under the Penal Code and the Communications and Multimedia Act. As you rate this potentially life-changing, I'm concerned. Therefore, I urge you to talk to your parents. You may get a scolding but you need adult support. I hope your guilt has blown this out of proportion. Whether it has or not, your actions have led to lots of complex feelings. Moving forward requires some prep. First, be honest about your intent. You claim curiosity. Maybe you looked at the software from curiosity but it's not why you made or sent those images. Be honest with yourself. What exactly were you hoping for? Understanding your intent will be painful, but it will provide you with personal growth and positive change. You may be able to do this alone, but it will be easier if you work with an adult, perhaps a therapist. Next, focus on how your actions impacted your victims. Consider the pain they felt then and how they feel now. Like, will it upset their exam studies? Empathy will help you with the apology and it will help you prevent future errors. Finally, the apology. A proper apology comes in parts: saying what you did, acknowledging how it impacted on the people you hurt, apologising for doing it (without making excuses!) and promising it won't happen again. Because of the prep, you will be fully accountable. Most of us forgive when we see someone is truly sorry, so I expect your friends will forgive you. You're young and we all do daft things when we're young. But even if not all of them forgive you, being accountable and truly sorry will allow you to forgive yourself. Then you can focus on the exams and getting on with life with a cleared conscience. Again, thank you for bringing up this important topic. There are many people in this situation, so your story will help others. Go tell your parents right away. You may not enjoy the fix but please take this as a learning experience. I hope the problem is not a severe one and that you can put this behind you quickly.
The Star
01-07-2025
- Health
- The Star
No signs of injuries on bodies of mother, toddler found dead in Penang apartment
GEORGE TOWN: There are no signs of physical injuries found on the bodies of a woman and her toddler daughter, whose decomposed remains were discovered in a condominium unit at Jalan Bukit Gambir on Monday (June 30). George Town OCPD Asst Comm Abdul Rozak Muhammad said the findings were from the post mortem conducted on the two bodies at Penang Hospital on Tuesday (July 1) "The external and internal examinations revealed no suspicious injuries on the bodies of the deceased,' he said in a statement on Tuesday (July 1). ACP Abdul Rozak said the internal examinations also indicated organ decomposition due to advanced decay, but there were no signs of trauma or foul play. He said based on the post-mortem results, the case remains classified as Sudden Death Report (SDR). On Monday, decomposed bodies of a woman and her toddler daughter were found at an apartment unit in Jalan Bukit Gambir, after police received information from the public at 4.41pm about a foul smell, suspected to be the scent of a decomposing body, coming from the apartment unit. Those suffering from mental health issues or contemplating suicide can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935/ 014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999/ 019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); Jakim's (Department of Islamic Development Malaysia) family, social and community care centre (0111-959 8214 on WhatsApp); and Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929 or go to the Befriendersfor a full list of numbers nationwide and operating hours, or email sam@
The Star
15-06-2025
- General
- The Star
Dear Thelma: I love my wife, but my past is hurting us
Do you need a listening ear? Thelma is here to help. Email lifestyle@ The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, usefulness, fitness for any particular purpose or other assurances as to the opinions and views expressed in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses suffered directly or indirectly arising from reliance on such opinions and views. Those contemplating suicide can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935/014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999/019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); Jakim's family, social and community care centre (011-1959 8214 on WhatsApp); or Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929/email sam@ centres in malaysia). I've been married to my wife for almost three months now. Before we tied the knot, we were in a relationship for three years – we actually met on Tinder. We share many things in common, which helped our love grow. However, we also frequently argue and have serious disagreements, often rooted in my past. Before meeting my wife, I wasn't exactly proud of my behaviour. After losing my first love in a tragic accident, I used casual relationships and an active sex life as a way to cope with the emotional pain. Unfortunately, my wife discovered this part of my past by going through my phone. Given that her previous partner cheated on her, she developed insecurities and a fear that I might do the same. Wanting to earn her trust, I allowed her to go through my phone freely. Initially, whenever she stumbled upon old messages, our arguments were minor. Eventually, I even encouraged her to delete anything that upset her, as I had so much old data stored that doing it myself would take forever. I saw it as a form of teamwork, as if she were helping me erase my old life and move forward with her. But over time, her frustration grew. Each time she came across something from my past, her anger intensified. Her insecurities came back stronger, and I, in turn, struggled to accept that she still doubted me. I've never cheated on her, and we've talked about this many times. Yet, every argument seems to circle back to the same issue – my past – and it tears me apart. We've even discussed the possibility of divorce twice, but I've resisted because I deeply believe in our marriage. I still love her very much. She means the world to me, and I want nothing more than to grow old and spend the rest of my life with her. However, every time she brings up my past, I find myself reacting with anger and frustration. What begins as a simple argument quickly escalates into a major fight. Thelma, I'm reaching out because I'm trying everything I can to save this marriage. I don't want to walk away from it. I don't want to let it die. What else can I do to rebuild her trust and truly move forward together? SV Thank you for your detailed explanation of events. I'm going to reframe them, so you have a clear perspective of the issue. You had an active sex life, met your partner, and settled down. However, your wife goes through your phone, acts as if you're dishonest, and when you remind her that you are an open book, she insists you can't be trusted and creates a fight. This is her problem, not yours. If your wife's ex cheated, she has reason to distrust her ex. It has nothing to do with you. We all carry our past with us, but as adults we accept responsibility for the fears that come from previous experiences and we deal with it. Expecting future partners to take responsibility for the sins of past partners is unacceptable. The proper way forward for your wife is to go to counselling. Let her talk out her feelings, process her past and manage her behaviour in those sessions. Do not go with her! This is not a couple's issue; it's her issue. As for you, you allowed someone to define you as a bad character but there is no apparent foundation for it. You lost someone dear to you, and acted out by having lots of affairs. It's a common reaction. It may have been more useful to talk it through with a grief counsellor but the awful thing about shock is that we can't think straight. We often react blindly, and it's only later that we wish we'd taken a different path. Perhaps you feel stigma because your comfort was sex instead of chocolate, exercise, work or some other preoccupation. But people who experience trauma are not themselves. Forgive yourself. If you cannot do that alone, talk to a counsellor specialising in trauma. Second, work on your self-esteem and set firm boundaries based on respect. You deserve common courtesy. The only time we allow others to snoop on our phones is when we have committed adultery. Even then, the period when we allow check-ins is short and part of an overall path of healing and recommitment. You have done nothing wrong! Therefore, nobody has the right to go through your phone. Your anger is a healthy sign because your body senses the injustice. You want to walk away because you are being attacked – another healthy sign. Not only that, but deleting messages and harassing you about your past are more huge red flags. I am concerned that you married a person who treats you so badly and who has little or no thought for your feelings. Therefore, I urge you to be careful. If you talk to your wife and she apologises, stops the behaviour immediately and seeks counselling for long-term change, then hopefully you can reset your relationship. But if she gaslights you, or tries to scare you with rage, then you may be in an abusive relationship. I say this because she treats you badly, accuses you of things you have not done, and uses rage to shut you down. These are all red flags. So be careful. And if you see more abusive behaviour, I urge you to speak to a counsellor skilled in abuse counselling. Again, go alone – toxic and abusive partners hijack couples counselling by twisting the narrative, deflecting responsibility, and manipulating both you and the therapist. I suspect you will be worried once you've read my response, for you are only just married, but I urge you to take steps now. You deserve to be treated with courtesy, kindness and respect. Good luck and know I'm thinking of you.
Rakyat Post
27-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Rakyat Post
Mini Figurines In George Town Scare Some, Impress Some
Subscribe to our FREE Last year, Spanish artist Other than encouraging people to discover the city, the figurines' solitary and pensive existence aim to get people to reflect on the emotional weight and societal pressures experienced by society. Some sculptures depict happy emotions as well. A family who spoke to The human-like sculptures are small and discreetly hidden in corners. They're only noticeable once people spot them. Like all pieces of art, the sculptures drew mixed responses and opinions among the public. While some enjoyed trying to spot the sculptures and appreciate the intention of the artist, some find the artpieces spooky. Malaysians are still pretty much a superstitious lot so it's understandable that some feel creeped out by the tiny figures peering from above. Additionally, some find the sculptures standing close to the edge give off a whole different messaging that could trigger a mental health breakdown like suicidal ideation. Generally, most people in the comments prefer happier art pieces but a small number of people explained that there are many happy art pieces that could be found in George Town. They feel art pieces that evoke different emotions should be given space as well. They shared that Cordal's sculptures are small and art pieces should also draw out a different emotion other than euphoria. In other words, art pieces give everyone an opportunity to reflect and think, and sometimes it's ok if it brings forth uncomfortable emotions. If you need help or someone to talk to, here's a list of helplines: Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service Tel: 03-2935 9935 or 014-322 3392 Talian Kasih Tel: 15999 or Whatsapp 019-2615999 Befrienders KL Tel: 03-7627 2929 Website: Talian Buddy Bear (For children, toll-free, 6pm-12am) Tel: 1800-18-BEAR or 1800-18-2327 FB Messenger: MySejahtera Digital Healthcare In the app, click on 'MyMinda.' Share your thoughts with us via TRP's . Get more stories like this to your inbox by signing up for our newsletter.
The Star
18-05-2025
- The Star
Deaths of Singaporean couple in Cheras homestay ruled as suicide
KUALA LUMPUR: The deaths of two Singaporeans whose bodies were found in a homestay in Cheras has been ruled as suicide. Kuala Lumpur police chief Comm Datuk Rusdi Mohd Isa said the deceased were a married couple. "That was a suicide. Their families have been notified and the case is still under investigation," he said at the Desa Rejang PPR here on Saturday (May 17). The couple were found dead inside the homestay by a worker on Friday (May 16). ALSO READ: Singaporean man, woman found dead in Cheras homestay The window and door gaps were taped up and remnants of burnt charcoal in a barbecue grill were found. Also found in the property was some ketamine. Those facing mental health issues or contemplating suicide can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935/ 014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999/ 019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); Jakim's family, social and community care centre (011-1959 8214 on WhatsApp); or Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929/ email sam@ or any Befrienders centre in Malaysia.
