Latest news with #MilaSmith
Yahoo
22-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
2025 is the year of being real when dating. People in their 40s and 50s are already ahead of the curve
From TikTok's shift toward more unfiltered, real-life content to Bumble's latest dating trends — where nearly 46 per cent of singles say unique and quirky interests are key to attraction — it's clear that glossy personas and rigid dating rules are giving way to spontaneous, vulnerable connections. In short: people want people being real — something many Gen Xers and older millennials have been doing all along. 'Daters over 40 or 50 had plenty of experiences, so they usually know what they want or don't want in a relationship and are not afraid to articulate it,' says Mila Smith, a dating and relationships coach. 'They are no longer interested in playing games and will lead with authenticity to steer clear of unhealthy relationships in which people have to pretend to be someone they're not.' She notes that the key benefit of being real and authentic in dating is that 'you cut to the chase and avoid costly 'false starts.'' 'Many over 40 or 50 have learned through experience that if you aren't being real, how can you attract a truly compatible partner?' Smith says. This clarity often comes from time and repeated lessons in dating. Daters over 40 or 50 had plenty of experiences, so they usually know what they want or don't want in a relationship and are not afraid to articulate Smith, dating and relationship coach 'Most of my clients over the age of 50 arrived at that conclusion naturally — not because it's a current trend," she says. Still, she adds, past relationship trauma can sometimes make being real harder, not easier, as some people 'shut down emotionally,' become avoidant, or 'hide behind a mask — anything but 'being real.'" Smith says this is because dating behaviour typically evolves after 40. 'On one side, people in this stage of life have emotional maturity, self-awareness and value clear honest communication.' However, she says, it's often two-fold because 'on the other side, some carry the weight of painful past experiences and emotional baggage, which can lead to bitterness and doubt, at least until they take time to heal.' If you're someone in the 'once bitten, twice shy' camp, or you're afraid to be vulnerable on your dating profile, and instead opting to appear more 'cool' or what you deem as more "dateable," Smith suggests it's key to address the root cause. 'Ask yourself what your 'ideal self' would look like — the person you want to be both inwardly and outwardly. Is there a gap between your real self and your ideal self? What steps can you start taking to bridge the gap?" she says. "If you're lacking confidence and feel like all you have been doing for the past decade is working and parenting, ask your friends and family to point out your best traits and achievements. You're likely to discover you're a lot cooler and more interesting than you thought — just as you are." Smith says being your true self is worth it in the end, as it weeds out people from your dating pool more quickly. 'Do you want to spend the next 10 years with someone peeling back your layers, only to find you weren't being real to begin with? Likewise, you wouldn't want to discover they have been fake — life is too short for that. When you're authentic and honest about your personality and values, you attract people who are truly compatible with you.' What it did do was attract the right men — the ones who could handle the lack of spontaneity and understood the reality of my Smith on how her upfront dating profile helped her find the right conections Smith speaks from experience when she dated a lot during her early 40s as a single mom. 'Eventually, I got tired of pretending I was 'cool' and always available, so I explained my situation upfront with a bit of humour, something like: 'Patience may be required, but it's worth it.' If it did put off any men, I can't say I noticed," she says. "What it did do was attract the right men — the ones who could handle the lack of spontaneity and understood the reality of my life.' She says she also stopped 'dumbing myself down' for fear of appearing too nerdy and academic and stopped faking interest in things she really wasn't into. 'This strategy paid off as I am now happily married; and neither of us feel the need to change who we are or change each other.' If you're struggling to fully accept yourself for who you are in the dating world, Smith says it's important to know that it's normal, but also something that you can start to shift by practicing with your mindset. 'The no. 1 mindset shift is: if you think a change is needed, do it for you, not someone else's benefit. To build confidence and embrace authenticity, set realistic, achievable goals instead of setting a very ambitious goal and feeling disappointed when you fail to achieve it right away,' she says. 'Set regular affirmations and celebrate every achievement no matter how small. Make one small change at a time and note how it feels. For example, speak your mind in a meeting or on a date and see if it feels liberating." Ultimately, Smith says those small shifts are worth it as authenticity is always more attractive — something that midlife daters understand well, even if not everyone practices it consistently. But what those over 40 do have, she notes, is time and experience. 'The more life experience we gain, the more we value authenticity and sincerity — and the better we become at detecting falseness," she says. "The best way to impress your date is to show up as your true self: it's refreshing, it feels safe and will save you both time and potential disappointment.'
NZ Herald
05-06-2025
- Health
- NZ Herald
Rare disorders: Waikato toddler's journey to rare and severe CDD diagnosis
A 2-year-old Waikato girl was having around 30 seizures daily before being diagnosed with a rare condition, her mum said. Mila Smith, of Hamilton, has CDKL5 deficiency disorder (CDD), a severe developmental epileptic encephalopathy, caused by mutations in the CDKL5 gene. CDD leads to early-onset and drug-resistant seizures and
