Latest news with #MissLonelyhearts
Winnipeg Free Press
19-06-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
It's safety first with young ones at the lake
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband — a former lifeguard — went ahead and bought a cabin for our family at a lake in southern Manitoba. What a disaster. I'm not happy. I swim like rock, and I would be the one alone at the lake with our two young kids during the week while he's at work. My husband says he'll make every weekend a long weekend, but I don't even want that. I need him there all the time for safety. What do you think? The cabin sale is already finalized. How do I cope with this? — Dangerous Situation, southwestern Manitoba Dear Dangerous Situation: A drowning death in a family is tragedy for life. When your husband is not at the lake with you and the children are in the water or even just on the beach, you will need a well-paid older babysitter with lifesaving credentials. As a former lifeguard, your hubby should certainly understand this. You always must be there on the beach with your helper, as well, to look out for a child not in the water with the sitter. And everybody must be wearing life preservers at all times. That is not overdoing it. If this is not going to be a happy situation for you, then stand your ground and stay at home on weekdays and only go up when your swimmer husband goes with you for those three-day weekends he's promising. Also, you and your children need some swimming lessons now, no matter what happens. Private instruction may be the best bet. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was just hanging out at home recently, when my doorbell started ringing incessantly. I knew instantly who it was — my old boyfriend who always arrived this way in high school. This stunt was how he liked to announce himself — he's always been kind of charmingly goofy. So I unlocked the door, and he knelt down, took my hand and kissed it dramatically. I must admit it was kind of exciting. He said he'd had two long years to think about it, and he was willing to take me back. I just laughed. Then he spelled out the primary reason for trying again — we've both rejected everyone else we've dated since breaking up. Then he said he'd punished me long enough and we should give it another try. Ha. I'm tempted, but I would hate if we got back together and it turned out to be a mistake. I do admire his nerve, however. Should I give him another try, or would I be wasting my time? — Another Whirl or Not? St. Vital Dear Another Whirl: If you don't give it a whirl, are you going to regret it? If so, try it — no matter what friends and family think. If it isn't going well for the two of you as adults, say your final goodbyes and you can both go in peace. People may laugh at you for trying, but just brush them off — it's not their business to judge from the sidelines. There still seems to be a spark there for you both, so see how it goes. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
11-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Winnipeg Free Press
A little compromise could go swimmingly
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It's June and my cute-but-chubby wife doesn't want to go to any beaches. She was cheated on way back when by a weightlifter guy and blamed it on her imperfect body. I'm betting it was really the fault of her relentless jealousy. I knew she was a jealous woman before we got married, but four years later, I'm so tired of her body-weight hangup that I can't stand it. We haven't been to the beach together in two years. I want her to expose her beautiful round shape to people at the beach — not that they would care. In fact, I think we're a good-looking couple. She's in her 30s and a very sexy woman with long black hair and green eyes. I'm tall and skinny, and I don't want another skeleton like myself to play with in bed. Yet she still thinks I may have roving eyes for skinnier women. I've never wanted that. Today my wife said she would never be into sunbathing on the beach again. Do I really need to scrape up the money to install a pool for us for two or three short months a year because of her weight hangup? I think I just need the water and swimming, and I'm tired of our endless holiday discussion being all about her and her body issues. How can we solve this, and fast? — Annoyed Husband, North Kildonan Dear Annoyed: Why not compromise with an above-ground pool — not big enough to break the bank, but big enough to have fun swimming with friends and family, and also for the two of you to play together in privacy. When it comes to your wife's 'hangups,' have you openly expressed to her how much you like her 'beautiful round' physique? A few compliments — especially when they're honest — can go a long way to boosting someone's self-esteem. When it comes to a backyard plan, your wife might appreciate a funky little change room right by the pool, so she and other shy girlfriends can get into the pool without having to walk much of a distance feeling overly exposed. An above-ground pool may not be the beach proper, but it's certainly way more fun than stubbornly doing nothing. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts; I can't get that song My Boyfriend's Back out of my head because it just happened. My Grade 11 boyfriend came back for our recent high school reunion with no wife anymore. I was there and I'm single again myself. We both felt shy and had lots to drink, but we also got to dance together like old times. He even smelled the same — like beer and Old Port cigars. He phoned me today, and my heart roared. But am I just asking for trouble? — Boyfriend's Back, southwestern Manitoba Dear Boyfriend's Back: The real trouble happens when single-again people lose their derring-do and won't even take a chance on dating old friends or new love interests. So why not avoid any future regret for not acting and go for at least one date with this old boyfriend? If it doesn't work out past a single date or maybe two, you will still have had an enjoyable time. Most people simply don't get enough fun in their grownup working lives, and it's time people try to remedy that by taking some reasonable chances in their social lives. It can be great for both emotional and physical health, and you'll avoid the regret of not even having had the courage to give it a shot. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
09-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Winnipeg Free Press
Don't be swayed by troubled hubby's ‘new' tune
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was forced to leave my handsome and musically talented husband due to the fact he loved drinking way more than he loved me. Just like his dad — who was also a great singer and storyteller — he just couldn't handle his liquor. Like father, like son. Tragic. By the midway point of any evening entertaining my husband's family, my father-in-law would always be drinking too much. I hated it and it always showed on my face. Sometimes my husband would slap me in the van when we were leaving his family's place for pulling a sour face and disrespecting his father. Then he would break down and cry, saying how sorry he was for hitting me. I left with our young kids one weekend when my husband was away performing and took refuge with my parents. Friends told me they were relieved because they knew I was being abused. I didn't know they were aware of that or I would have left sooner, out of embarrassment. I saw my ex-husband back in our town last weekend and he was sober and looking his best. He was trying to charm me, telling me he had stopped drinking. I turned away with tears in my eyes, as he appeared to be back to the man I initially loved. How do I cope with this side of him returning to my world when he just could slip back and be drinking again in a minute? — On the Fence, eastern Manitoba Dear On the Fence: This man can be dangerously charming — so watch, listen, talk and find out as much as you can about the life he has worked on building since you two broke up. This man has been violent toward you and that simply cannot be glossed over. You both really need serious counselling at this point. Is he still in the music game, and to what degree? Does he still travel a lot? Or is he back closer to his roots working day jobs to help support his family? What is your ex presenting to you as his 'new self'? Do you buy it? If your gut tells you no, then don't waste any more time even considering getting back together with him. Some people can quit drinking, usually with serious help and support from organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous or the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba. Most people need something outside themselves to stay sober for the long haul. Your husband also needs to face up to his violent side. Don't underestimate that issue or simply blame the drinking. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I speak three languages and always wanted to travel a lot and teach on other continents. But now that the world has gotten so shaky, what is going to happen to adventure educators like me? I'm wondering, should I throw those dreams away and resign myself to the safer route teaching closer to home? That idea is very limiting to me. — International Dream Evaporating, southwestern Manitoba Dear Dream Evaporating: It would be safest to postpone your biggest adventures until you know for certain you can get back home relatively easily, if and when you want to. This politically uncertain era may be a better time for you to invest in your own higher education at home and do some teaching on the side. We can only hope travel-teaching might become more feasible once again a few years down the road, especially for people with adventurous souls, solid educations and the ability to teach. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
03-06-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
Procuring coveted item can call for some charm
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I told my wife I went all last summer wanting a hanging basket 'cove' chair, but didn't buy one. Why? Because she (the almighty dictator) said $1,495 was too much for my 'spacecraft designed' chair that makes you feel like you're floating in the clouds. I would go try one out in a store after a bad day and start nodding off in minutes. Do marriage partners have the right to deny you an expensive item you really want? — So Annoyed, East Kildonan Dear Annoyed: Do what my dear old dad, Bill Scurfield did in this kind of situation. Make it a treat and bring it home proudly. Having paid for it on your own, you quickly bring it in and install it. For instance, my dad's mint-and-emerald-green '57 Chevrolet Bel Air sedan comes to mind — sitting out in the driveway in Manitou. That beautiful car suddenly appeared and dad was proudly taking everybody for rides in it for the next week. I seriously doubt my conservative mom Cynthia would have chosen a flashy car to go with the already bright greenhouse. On second thought, dad's decisive car choice may have inspired his wife to suddenly choose the charcoal-and-pink bedroom drapes that went up a week later, and the powder-pink bathroom to go with it. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a girl alone, running the same trail near the zoo as I usually do. I asked her if she wanted to run with me for company. We had a nice time and sat down at the end to talk a bit. I thought she was very attractive — and she wasn't wearing a ring either. At the end, I asked her for her name and phone number, and she gave it to me, no hesitation! But, then she said, 'That's the home phone, so be careful. My husband might pick it up!' What the heck was that supposed to mean, and why didn't she give me her cellphone number, if her husband is a jealous guy? Then she just waved and jogged off to her car. Was she flirting with me? What happened there? — Don't Understand Her Moves, The Park Dear Don't Understand: This woman made a point of mentioning her husband, so perhaps she just enjoyed your company, but wanted you to know that's all she's after. Still, it's annoying of her to warn you of her husband. So, don't bother calling her to initiate meetings for more runs. If you run into her again, and you run with her again for a little company, don't ask her personal questions. Runs definitely go more quickly with someone along for company, and it's safer for a woman to run with a companion in the woods. It could possibly work out for both of you, if you can just keep it light. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
26-05-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
Jumping to jealousy has trashed this romance
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It's been like seeing a ghost since I got back to work. I can see my recent girlfriend, but she acts like I don't exist. I can tell she doesn't like working here anymore and her unhappy face makes me feel nervous and sick to my stomach. She's been sitting where she asked to be moved to the day after she got home from her holiday in Quebec and heard some news about me through the grapevine. I took a friend of hers out for a fancy dinner while she was away in Montreal with a single girlfriend of hers from here and two others from Quebec. I was feeling jealous and thought she had to be cheating on me when she was away. Last week the friend who travelled with her told me what a jerk I was for not believing in my true-blue girlfriend. So, I tried to apologize to my ex, but all she had to say to me was, 'You wouldn't believe me and I have no time for men like you.' How can I get her back? I love her so much. She won't take my calls and ignores my texts. — Want Her Back, downtown Winnipeg Dear Want Her Back: The problem is she doesn't want you back with the way your jealous mind has led you into bad decisions. It's time to move on and also to look into what's driving your destructive jealous thoughts. See if your workplace health plan covers any personal counselling, and even it doesn't, you might want make the investment anyway, so you don't repeat this. As for your co-worker ex-girlfriend, stay off her case, and if you do have to communicate or work together as part of your job, be a professional and stick to the task at hand. Who knows? If you take your introspective work seriously, maybe things will warm up between the two of down the road, but don't get too caught up in that possibility. Plus, workplace romances can be difficult, even at the best of times. If you find it too hard to see your former partner on a daily basis, you may want to consider transferring to a different part of your workplace operation (if that's even a possibility) or think about finding a different job. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend touches me like he thinks I'm a china doll who might break — but I'm not. I'm a seriously athletic woman who also loves a real romp. How can I tell my guy that without sounding like a female beast? — Not Fragile, Crescentwood Dear Not Fragile: Before your next intimate encounter, smile and tell him, 'Let me take charge this time.' Then show him the degree of touch and enthusiasm you really like. Maybe on another occasion when you're relaxing before lovemaking, tell him something else you would enjoy. Some cautious people need to get information or instruction on what's welcome before they can act, so help him out a bit. Nobody should want to disappoint their lover. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
