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CNN
02-05-2025
- CNN
‘Moving to Bhutan taught me to live mindfully': How an American woman found love and happiness in the Himalayas
Arriving in the Kingdom of Bhutan, nestled deep in the Himalayas between Tibet and India, Linda Leaming was blown away by its beauty. The year was 1994, she was 39 and had taken time out of her busy career as a freelance writer in Nashville to go traveling. She was curious about the tiny Buddhist country that at the time was still a new and untapped tourism destination and to this day thrives with little outside influence. As Linda flew into the remote valley town of Paro, famed for the golden-roofed Tiger's Nest monastery perched high up on a cliffside, it was like entering a fairytale world. Gazing at the snow-capped mountains, Linda felt a sense of awe and wonder she hadn't experienced anywhere else. 'I was intrigued from the minute I got off the plane,' she says. 'The air was so pure, and it still is — we're the only carbon-negative country in the world, due to most of it being covered by trees.' It wasn't just the fresh air and stirring mountain views that made an impression on Linda, but also the people she met while hiking the valleys and visiting ancient Buddhist temples and monasteries. 'I noticed the kindness of strangers,' she says. 'Like the motorcyclist who gave me a lift back to my hotel when I had twisted my ankle. Equally, little acts of kindness on my part, like handing out fruit to people I met along the way, were so appreciated.' Walking for hours every day became a mindfulness practice for Linda that turned out to be life-changing. 'My mind slowed down, and I felt a sense of clarity. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life here.' When she got back from her travels, Linda canceled plans to buy a property in Nashville and instead set her sights on relocating to Bhutan. Three years later, after visiting the country twice more, she waved goodbye to everyone and everything she knew to start a new life in a place most people couldn't even pick out on a map. She was offered a job at a cultural school in Thimphu, Bhutan's capital, and a year later a position teaching English at the National Art School in the same city. There she became friends with one of the art teachers, a 'shy but sweet, lovely guy' called Namgay. 'He was very handsome and always impeccably dressed in his gho,' says Linda, referring to the knee-length, belted robe traditionally worn by Bhutanese men. Having known each other for a year and a half, the pair's friendship developed into something more during a winter break when the two started spending time together at Linda's house, where they drank tea and practiced English and Dzongkha, the national language. 'We liked each other but I didn't expect it to lead to anything,' says Linda, explaining that Namgay comes from a traditional, religious family, and she assumed their cultural differences meant a relationship was out of the question. 'Then one day as we were looking through a textbook, he pointed at a section about government departments and said, 'We need to do this.' It was the registry office, for marriages. I was surprised, but I said yes.' Namgay introduced Linda to his family, and they were officially engaged. Her initial worries were soon put to rest by the family's warm welcome and her fiancé's faith in them as a couple. 'Being Buddhist, Namgay believes our karma brought us together. He told me, 'We are so different, but our hearts are the same.'' What's more, she says Namgay's late father, a gifted astrologer, had actually predicted their union. He had told his son many years prior that he was destined to marry a woman from far away, and that it would be later in life. And so it came to be; the couple were wed in 2000. One day, a couple of years into the marriage, Namgay casually asked Linda, 'Do you remember the first time we met?' She thought he meant at the art school. 'But he said, 'No, when I gave you a lift on my motorbike, when you were injured.' I couldn't believe it! I had no idea the stranger who had come to my rescue that time, on my first visit to Bhutan, was him. I guess it was fate.' Linda and Namgay's life together took another auspicious turn when they adopted a young Bhutanese girl, Kinlay, who is now 26 and at nursing school in Perth, Australia. 'I never thought I'd have a child, but it's been such a blessing,' says Linda, who clearly feels the same way about her transformative move. 'Bhutan is worlds apart from the United States. Here, 'Gross National Happiness' is more important than Gross National Product.' The concept of Gross National Happiness was introduced in the 1970s by the fourth king of Bhutan, who felt it was important to take a holistic approach to development, and to consider its social, cultural, environmental and spiritual impact on society, rather than focusing solely on economic growth. This sustainability ethos is a big part of the reason the country has managed to retain its pristine environment and traditional culture in an era of rapid commercial globalization. 'I've been here for three decades now and it's still a really wild and magical place,' says Linda. 'Bengal tigers roam free in the forests, and in the high mountains, there are snow leopards. 'We are surrounded by sacred places. I love hiking up to Tango Monastery, which dates back to the 13th century. It has a special kind of energy, the same energy I felt when I first arrived here. It's hard to describe but it gives you such a feeling of peace and well-being.' Linda's love affair with her adopted country has produced two books, 'Married to Bhutan,' and 'A Field Guide to Happiness.' Both intriguing and laugh-out-loud funny, the books describe her plunge into cross-cultural living and what she has learned in the process, including not taking modern conveniences for granted. 'When we moved in together, I asked Namgay if he had a water problem where he lived, and he said he didn't, so I assumed that meant he had running water 24/7. But that turned out not to be the case, it just wasn't a problem to him,' she recalls. In the early days of living in Bhutan, Linda washed her clothes in buckets by hand. 'We got a washing machine soon after we married, but we still boil our tap water before drinking it. I could get a water filter, but boiling it is like a mindful ritual.' Speaking of mindfulness, Linda says that living in a Buddhist community has taught her how to slow down and be in the moment. The Bhutanese have a flexible approach to time rather than being controlled by the clock, she says. 'When making an appointment for someone to come over for a meal or to fix the plumbing, you might (say), 'Come Wednesday,' and that is specific enough,' she explains. 'As long as they show up that day, or the next, everything is as it should be. It's quirky and takes some getting used to, especially for harried, time-conscious Americans; but once you get into the swing of things, it's a great way to live.' No one could fail to be inspired by the life Linda has created for herself, thanks to taking a leap of faith all those years ago. She and her husband now live in hills above Thimphu, which are covered this time of year in willow and cherry blossom. Their lovely, light-filled home includes an art studio where Namgay spends his days painting, blending traditional Buddhist iconography with modern influences — like the space rockets he is 'obsessed with.' The couple splits their time between Bhutan and the US but lately they are spending more time in their home in Thimphu. Luckily, a steady stream of friends and family come to visit. Linda says that when they leave, they all cry at the airport. 'I think it's because this place is healing,' she says. 'In Bhutan, we live immersed in nature, and as a culture, we value kindness. I can see people relax the longer they stay. Globally, we live in volatile times; there's a lot of anger and fear in the world. Bhutan is such a respite from all that.'
CNN
02-05-2025
- CNN
‘Moving to Bhutan taught me to live mindfully': How an American woman found love and happiness in the Himalayas
Arriving in the Kingdom of Bhutan, nestled deep in the Himalayas between Tibet and India, Linda Leaming was blown away by its beauty. The year was 1994, she was 39 and had taken time out of her busy career as a freelance writer in Nashville to go traveling. She was curious about the tiny Buddhist country that at the time was still a new and untapped tourism destination and to this day thrives with little outside influence. As Linda flew into the remote valley town of Paro, famed for the golden-roofed Tiger's Nest monastery perched high up on a cliffside, it was like entering a fairytale world. Gazing at the snow-capped mountains, Linda felt a sense of awe and wonder she hadn't experienced anywhere else. 'I was intrigued from the minute I got off the plane,' she says. 'The air was so pure, and it still is — we're the only carbon-negative country in the world, due to most of it being covered by trees.' It wasn't just the fresh air and stirring mountain views that made an impression on Linda, but also the people she met while hiking the valleys and visiting ancient Buddhist temples and monasteries. 'I noticed the kindness of strangers,' she says. 'Like the motorcyclist who gave me a lift back to my hotel when I had twisted my ankle. Equally, little acts of kindness on my part, like handing out fruit to people I met along the way, were so appreciated.' Walking for hours every day became a mindfulness practice for Linda that turned out to be life-changing. 'My mind slowed down, and I felt a sense of clarity. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life here.' When she got back from her travels, Linda canceled plans to buy a property in Nashville and instead set her sights on relocating to Bhutan. Three years later, after visiting the country twice more, she waved goodbye to everyone and everything she knew to start a new life in a place most people couldn't even pick out on a map. She was offered a job at a cultural school in Thimphu, Bhutan's capital, and a year later a position teaching English at the National Art School in the same city. There she became friends with one of the art teachers, a 'shy but sweet, lovely guy' called Namgay. 'He was very handsome and always impeccably dressed in his gho,' says Linda, referring to the knee-length, belted robe traditionally worn by Bhutanese men. Having known each other for a year and a half, the pair's friendship developed into something more during a winter break when the two started spending time together at Linda's house, where they drank tea and practiced English and Dzongkha, the national language. 'We liked each other but I didn't expect it to lead to anything,' says Linda, explaining that Namgay comes from a traditional, religious family, and she assumed their cultural differences meant a relationship was out of the question. 'Then one day as we were looking through a textbook, he pointed at a section about government departments and said, 'We need to do this.' It was the registry office, for marriages. I was surprised, but I said yes.' Namgay introduced Linda to his family, and they were officially engaged. Her initial worries were soon put to rest by the family's warm welcome and her fiancé's faith in them as a couple. 'Being Buddhist, Namgay believes our karma brought us together. He told me, 'We are so different, but our hearts are the same.'' What's more, she says Namgay's late father, a gifted astrologer, had actually predicted their union. He had told his son many years prior that he was destined to marry a woman from far away, and that it would be later in life. And so it came to be; the couple were wed in 2000. One day, a couple of years into the marriage, Namgay casually asked Linda, 'Do you remember the first time we met?' She thought he meant at the art school. 'But he said, 'No, when I gave you a lift on my motorbike, when you were injured.' I couldn't believe it! I had no idea the stranger who had come to my rescue that time, on my first visit to Bhutan, was him. I guess it was fate.' Linda and Namgay's life together took another auspicious turn when they adopted a young Bhutanese girl, Kinlay, who is now 26 and at nursing school in Perth, Australia. 'I never thought I'd have a child, but it's been such a blessing,' says Linda, who clearly feels the same way about her transformative move. 'Bhutan is worlds apart from the United States. Here, 'Gross National Happiness' is more important than Gross National Product.' The concept of Gross National Happiness was introduced in the 1970s by the fourth king of Bhutan, who felt it was important to take a holistic approach to development, and to consider its social, cultural, environmental and spiritual impact on society, rather than focusing solely on economic growth. This sustainability ethos is a big part of the reason the country has managed to retain its pristine environment and traditional culture in an era of rapid commercial globalization. 'I've been here for three decades now and it's still a really wild and magical place,' says Linda. 'Bengal tigers roam free in the forests, and in the high mountains, there are snow leopards. 'We are surrounded by sacred places. I love hiking up to Tango Monastery, which dates back to the 13th century. It has a special kind of energy, the same energy I felt when I first arrived here. It's hard to describe but it gives you such a feeling of peace and well-being.' Linda's love affair with her adopted country has produced two books, 'Married to Bhutan,' and 'A Field Guide to Happiness.' Both intriguing and laugh-out-loud funny, the books describe her plunge into cross-cultural living and what she has learned in the process, including not taking modern conveniences for granted. 'When we moved in together, I asked Namgay if he had a water problem where he lived, and he said he didn't, so I assumed that meant he had running water 24/7. But that turned out not to be the case, it just wasn't a problem to him,' she recalls. In the early days of living in Bhutan, Linda washed her clothes in buckets by hand. 'We got a washing machine soon after we married, but we still boil our tap water before drinking it. I could get a water filter, but boiling it is like a mindful ritual.' Speaking of mindfulness, Linda says that living in a Buddhist community has taught her how to slow down and be in the moment. The Bhutanese have a flexible approach to time rather than being controlled by the clock, she says. 'When making an appointment for someone to come over for a meal or to fix the plumbing, you might (say), 'Come Wednesday,' and that is specific enough,' she explains. 'As long as they show up that day, or the next, everything is as it should be. It's quirky and takes some getting used to, especially for harried, time-conscious Americans; but once you get into the swing of things, it's a great way to live.' No one could fail to be inspired by the life Linda has created for herself, thanks to taking a leap of faith all those years ago. She and her husband now live in hills above Thimphu, which are covered this time of year in willow and cherry blossom. Their lovely, light-filled home includes an art studio where Namgay spends his days painting, blending traditional Buddhist iconography with modern influences — like the space rockets he is 'obsessed with.' The couple splits their time between Bhutan and the US but lately they are spending more time in their home in Thimphu. Luckily, a steady stream of friends and family come to visit. Linda says that when they leave, they all cry at the airport. 'I think it's because this place is healing,' she says. 'In Bhutan, we live immersed in nature, and as a culture, we value kindness. I can see people relax the longer they stay. Globally, we live in volatile times; there's a lot of anger and fear in the world. Bhutan is such a respite from all that.'
CNN
02-05-2025
- CNN
‘Moving to Bhutan taught me to live mindfully': How an American woman found love and happiness in the Himalayas
Arriving in the Kingdom of Bhutan, nestled deep in the Himalayas between Tibet and India, Linda Leaming was blown away by its beauty. The year was 1994, she was 39 and had taken time out of her busy career as a freelance writer in Nashville to go traveling. She was curious about the tiny Buddhist country that at the time was still a new and untapped tourism destination and to this day thrives with little outside influence. As Linda flew into the remote valley town of Paro, famed for the golden-roofed Tiger's Nest monastery perched high up on a cliffside, it was like entering a fairytale world. Gazing at the snow-capped mountains, Linda felt a sense of awe and wonder she hadn't experienced anywhere else. 'I was intrigued from the minute I got off the plane,' she says. 'The air was so pure, and it still is — we're the only carbon-negative country in the world, due to most of it being covered by trees.' It wasn't just the fresh air and stirring mountain views that made an impression on Linda, but also the people she met while hiking the valleys and visiting ancient Buddhist temples and monasteries. 'I noticed the kindness of strangers,' she says. 'Like the motorcyclist who gave me a lift back to my hotel when I had twisted my ankle. Equally, little acts of kindness on my part, like handing out fruit to people I met along the way, were so appreciated.' Walking for hours every day became a mindfulness practice for Linda that turned out to be life-changing. 'My mind slowed down, and I felt a sense of clarity. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life here.' When she got back from her travels, Linda canceled plans to buy a property in Nashville and instead set her sights on relocating to Bhutan. Three years later, after visiting the country twice more, she waved goodbye to everyone and everything she knew to start a new life in a place most people couldn't even pick out on a map. She was offered a job at a cultural school in Thimphu, Bhutan's capital, and a year later a position teaching English at the National Art School in the same city. There she became friends with one of the art teachers, a 'shy but sweet, lovely guy' called Namgay. 'He was very handsome and always impeccably dressed in his gho,' says Linda, referring to the knee-length, belted robe traditionally worn by Bhutanese men. Having known each other for a year and a half, the pair's friendship developed into something more during a winter break when the two started spending time together at Linda's house, where they drank tea and practiced English and Dzongkha, the national language. 'We liked each other but I didn't expect it to lead to anything,' says Linda, explaining that Namgay comes from a traditional, religious family, and she assumed their cultural differences meant a relationship was out of the question. 'Then one day as we were looking through a textbook, he pointed at a section about government departments and said, 'We need to do this.' It was the registry office, for marriages. I was surprised, but I said yes.' Namgay introduced Linda to his family, and they were officially engaged. Her initial worries were soon put to rest by the family's warm welcome and her fiancé's faith in them as a couple. 'Being Buddhist, Namgay believes our karma brought us together. He told me, 'We are so different, but our hearts are the same.'' What's more, she says Namgay's late father, a gifted astrologer, had actually predicted their union. He had told his son many years prior that he was destined to marry a woman from far away, and that it would be later in life. And so it came to be; the couple were wed in 2000. One day, a couple of years into the marriage, Namgay casually asked Linda, 'Do you remember the first time we met?' She thought he meant at the art school. 'But he said, 'No, when I gave you a lift on my motorbike, when you were injured.' I couldn't believe it! I had no idea the stranger who had come to my rescue that time, on my first visit to Bhutan, was him. I guess it was fate.' Linda and Namgay's life together took another auspicious turn when they adopted a young Bhutanese girl, Kinlay, who is now 26 and at nursing school in Perth, Australia. 'I never thought I'd have a child, but it's been such a blessing,' says Linda, who clearly feels the same way about her transformative move. 'Bhutan is worlds apart from the United States. Here, 'Gross National Happiness' is more important than Gross National Product.' The concept of Gross National Happiness was introduced in the 1970s by the fourth king of Bhutan, who felt it was important to take a holistic approach to development, and to consider its social, cultural, environmental and spiritual impact on society, rather than focusing solely on economic growth. This sustainability ethos is a big part of the reason the country has managed to retain its pristine environment and traditional culture in an era of rapid commercial globalization. 'I've been here for three decades now and it's still a really wild and magical place,' says Linda. 'Bengal tigers roam free in the forests, and in the high mountains, there are snow leopards. 'We are surrounded by sacred places. I love hiking up to Tango Monastery, which dates back to the 13th century. It has a special kind of energy, the same energy I felt when I first arrived here. It's hard to describe but it gives you such a feeling of peace and well-being.' Linda's love affair with her adopted country has produced two books, 'Married to Bhutan,' and 'A Field Guide to Happiness.' Both intriguing and laugh-out-loud funny, the books describe her plunge into cross-cultural living and what she has learned in the process, including not taking modern conveniences for granted. 'When we moved in together, I asked Namgay if he had a water problem where he lived, and he said he didn't, so I assumed that meant he had running water 24/7. But that turned out not to be the case, it just wasn't a problem to him,' she recalls. In the early days of living in Bhutan, Linda washed her clothes in buckets by hand. 'We got a washing machine soon after we married, but we still boil our tap water before drinking it. I could get a water filter, but boiling it is like a mindful ritual.' Speaking of mindfulness, Linda says that living in a Buddhist community has taught her how to slow down and be in the moment. The Bhutanese have a flexible approach to time rather than being controlled by the clock, she says. 'When making an appointment for someone to come over for a meal or to fix the plumbing, you might (say), 'Come Wednesday,' and that is specific enough,' she explains. 'As long as they show up that day, or the next, everything is as it should be. It's quirky and takes some getting used to, especially for harried, time-conscious Americans; but once you get into the swing of things, it's a great way to live.' No one could fail to be inspired by the life Linda has created for herself, thanks to taking a leap of faith all those years ago. She and her husband now live in hills above Thimphu, which are covered this time of year in willow and cherry blossom. Their lovely, light-filled home includes an art studio where Namgay spends his days painting, blending traditional Buddhist iconography with modern influences — like the space rockets he is 'obsessed with.' The couple splits their time between Bhutan and the US but lately they are spending more time in their home in Thimphu. Luckily, a steady stream of friends and family come to visit. Linda says that when they leave, they all cry at the airport. 'I think it's because this place is healing,' she says. 'In Bhutan, we live immersed in nature, and as a culture, we value kindness. I can see people relax the longer they stay. Globally, we live in volatile times; there's a lot of anger and fear in the world. Bhutan is such a respite from all that.'
The Guardian
23-04-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Inside the world of ‘skimpies': the barmaids in bras who pour pints in Australia's mining towns
Not long after M Ellen Burns arrived in Kalgoorlie, Western Australia, the state's borders closed to the rest of Australia and the world for the first time in history. The photographer had been on a road trip from the Blue Mountains to visit her partner's parents in WA when Covid-19 first began to spread; now she was well and truly stuck. She found work shooting for the town's tourist board, but a chance meeting with a local barmaid introduced her to the other jewels in Kalgoorlie's crown: skimpy bars. Burns photographed several skimpies at work between 2021 and 2023 with their full consent. A 'skimpy' is a barmaid who pours pints in lingerie in WA's mining towns. Usually it's a fly-in fly-out job, attracting women from all over Australia and beyond. They sign up to agencies, which send them out on a circuit, moving towns every few weeks. The hi-vis of miners, downing schooners at the bars, compete with the electric makeup of the skimpies who dance atop them. Burns was fascinated: 'The rest of the world was in lockdown, but here the party was still going on, so it was kind of surreal.' She started shooting for the socials of Gold Bar and wound up self-publishing a photography book, Skimpies. Known professionally as 'Mellen', Burns is a retiring type. 'I don't really go out much,' she says. But she gamely got in the thick of things, navigating slippery bar-room floors and boisterous games of 'beer pong', played with a middy glass wedged between a skimpy's buttocks. It was a world away from her career in Sydney, where she studied photography at the National Art School and worked for portrait photographer Sally Flegg. Many of the women are Fifo – fly-in fly-out – workers, travelling around some of the most geographically isolated communities in Australia. 'Being here made me think about photography in a new way. These candid photos were gold – they're the essence of what actually happens,' Burns says. The women Burns immortalised are students, travellers, single mums and young professionals on a lucrative version of spring break. Their interviews, some of which Burns uploaded to SoundCloud, reveal them to have a broad range of views about the demands of the job. Introverted Scarlett describes creating a split personality, with 'work Scarlett' graciously accepting roses made out of paper napkins and 'home Scarlett' preferring to be alone. Zoe recalls one punter trying to kiss her, 'but he doesn't know that I'm a trained Muay Thai fighter'. Cleo's interview is sadder, listing awful things that men wearing wedding rings have said to her, 'while I serve them yet another drink and cop further and worse verbal, physical, and sexual abuse while the night continues'. Burns captures the women while they're on duty; a gloriously chaotic and colourful spillage of limbs, liquids and lingerie. But the first half of the book is dedicated to more sombre portraits of the women, who are dressed in whatever they'd wear on a ciggie break: perhaps an oversized hoodie or man's shirt. Their faces are still made up, but Burns asked them to look straight down the barrel of the camera, 'so that when people read their stories they're really looking at them'. Behind the pseudonyms and sequins there's often an entrepreneurial spirit. A skimpy can earn up to $5,000 on tips on a really good weekend, and there's often an overlap with fetish modelling and OnlyFans. Many have an online tip jar or are a 'party starter' for hire. Some work as life models for local art classes; during the pandemic, one former skimpy even founded Boober Eats, a takeaway delivery service where out-of-work skimpies delivered food in lingerie. Burns' individual portraits of (clockwise) Tilly, Scarlett, Poppy and Cleo. Burns gave the women their own voices in the book and is cautious about speaking on their behalf. She defers to another photographer, Georgie Mattingley, who writes a fascinating essay from the perspective of an artist and former skimpy herself. 'This is not just hospitality or customer service; this is an elaborate, emotive and intimate performance,' Mattingley writes. 'A highly skilled art form that interweaves gruelling bar work with fantasy and fiction to create a fleeting social world where everyone belongs.' Has the scene changed much since its genesis in the 1970s? In 2023, feminist activist movement Collective Shout argued 'there is no justification for this industry'. Rather than play critic herself, Burns inserted newspaper articles into the book, from the 70s onwards ('they are not naked, they wear shoes,' one publican protests in 1986). But the debate rages on. In 2018, Perth Now reported that the #MeToo movement seemed to have caught up with skimpying, with big corporations eschewing the skimpy pubs where they would usually hold expo functions. 'So, are skimpies an anachronism, a relic that demeans women, or are the big city-based companies showing once again the huge and multi-level divide between city and bush?' the journalist asked – to which Mattingley answers in the book: 'Only skimpies can make such judgement calls on the industry.' Some skimpies can earn $5,000 on tips on a good weekend. As Cleo sees it, skimpies 'take great care of all the lonely sad men we come across in the pubs'. 'In the Perth Museum, you'll find a section dedicated to the FIFO men who committed suicide due to loneliness,' she adds, 'but because of skimpy women, I wonder how many men's lives have literally been saved.' Burns, who gave each skimpy her own promo shoot as thanks, now counts many as her friends and Kalgoorlie as her home. 'The rhythm is different here, because we've got night shift and day shift, on-swing and off-swing. It feels like it's always grinding away.' Many of the skimpies Burns interviewed say they love the support they feel from other women in the industry, and the financial freedom the work gave them. It's hard to imagine skimpying ever being lost in the mists of time. Each year brings a batch of fresh faces and, for some women, Kalgoorlie is like the Hotel California: you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. 'I've only been here for about six months but the place has definitely won my heart really quickly. I can see why people come here and then never leave,' says Poppy, pictured wearing an emerald green robe over a red lace teddy. 'I also love being in my undies and so that's an extra bonus too.' Skimpies is available to buy from M Ellen Burns' website In Australia, support is available at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, and at MensLine on 1300 789 978. In the UK, the charity Mind is available on 0300 123 3393 and Childline on 0800 1111. In the US, call or text Mental Health America at 988 or chat
