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Yahoo
18-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
This Silly Hack Can Actually Really Help With Anxiety
Anxiety can feel all-consuming, making your heart race, thoughts spiral, chest tighten and more. Some describe it as a dark shadow that follows you around and constantly reminds you of all the worst-case scenarios. Serious anxiety requires serious treatment, but there are also fun little 'hacks' that you can keep in your arsenal to help keep the shadow from overwhelming your life ― for example, giving your anxiety a silly name. Although it might sound absurd, this playful strategy draws on real psychological principles and can even make dealing with anxiety a little bit fun and humorous. Below, experts break down what you should know about naming your anxiety and how to make it work best for you. Here's how it works. 'Assigning a silly or exaggerated name to anxiety can be a useful cognitive strategy,' said psychologist Stefanie Mazer. 'By externalizing the experience and labeling it humorously, individuals often find it easier to create psychological distance from distressing thoughts. Calling your anxiety something dumb like 'Nervous Ned' or 'Meltdown Mike' sounds ridiculous, but that's the point. It makes the whole thing feel less threatening.' Giving your anxiety a silly name 'knocks it down a peg' and allows you to stop treating it like an all-knowing authority, she added. This tactic is a way to regain a sense of agency over your inner narrative. 'It might sound childish at first, but there's real psychology behind it,' said Erin Pash, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Pash Co. 'When we're caught in the grip of anxiety, it feels massive and all-consuming, like this nameless monster that has complete control over us. But the moment you call it something like 'Gary the Worry Wart' or 'Anxious Annie,' you're already taking back some of your power.' Rather than some terrifying force, your anxiety is just 'Gary,' who can be quite ridiculous sometimes. The anxious thought 'everyone is judging me' becomes 'Gary is telling me that everyone is judging me.' This psychological distance can separate you from the anxiety and make it feel less urgent and persuasive. 'When anxiety hits, we often think 'I'm anxious' or 'I'm panicking,' which makes us feel completely merged with those feelings,' Pash said. 'But when you say 'Oh, there's Gary again with his worries about that presentation,' you're observing the anxiety rather than being consumed by it. This technique also engages your prefrontal cortex ― the logical, problem-solving part of your brain ― which helps calm down your amygdala, the part that's firing off all those alarm bells.' She compared it to the difference between being stuck in a storm versus watching it safely from inside your home. 'Calling your anxiety something silly turns it into background noise instead of a command,' Mazer noted. 'That shift helps you notice it without getting swept up. It's harder to take anxious thoughts at face value when they're coming from a made-up character. You start to see the patterns and maybe even laugh at how dramatic they sound.' What are some benefits to this approach? Mental health expert Noel McDermott praised the sense of fun and levity in this anxiety hack, which serves as a nice counterbalance to the stress and serious tone present with anxiety. 'It's empowering and accessible,' he noted. 'Endless research shows that when people feel empowered in a situation, they manage that situation much better than someone who feels more victimized. It encourages the use of a psychological trick called 'the observer effect' which is often seen through the use of meditation, so people can have an emotionally distanced relationship to their anxiety and have a relationship to that anxiety which they can manage more effectively.' Having some distance from your anxiety can also help you reach a place of acceptance of its presence in your life. 'Anxiety symptoms tend to compound when you worry about whether or not you may feel anxious in a given situation,' said Arianna Galligher, a licensed independent social worker at Ohio State University's Wexner Medical Center. 'If you can reframe how you view the presence of anxiety as a quirky, albeit sometimes annoying companion rather than a force that limits your ability to engage with the world around you, it takes some of the pressure off. Instead of fearing anxiety, you can invite it to come along with you by saying to yourself, 'Come on, Edna. We're going to the store.'' Naming your anxiety can also help you externalize its symptoms as separate from you, which in turn lessens their severity and duration. 'If someone is experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety, such as a racing heart or catastrophic thinking, giving those symptoms a ridiculous name can reduce the intensity by adding humor and levity to the experience, which communicates to the nervous system that it can relax,' said Becky Stuempfig, a licensed marriage and family therapist. Some people might even benefit from leaning into their symptoms as part of the name. 'Giving anxiety a nickname could be useful in gently learning to identify a somatic, body-centered anxiety cue,' said licensed marriage and family therapist Sonnet Daymont. 'For instance, if a person knows that feeling gas and upset stomach is a cue that they are about to have a lot of anxious thoughts, or if that sensation is present with anxious thoughts, then calling their anxiety 'Gurgle' and giving the belly a little rub, taking a yoga breath into the belly, and allowing the self a break to walk outside and look at one's thinking, and to ground through calming techniques could be helpful.' She believes this approach could help that person see that their anxiety is 'trainable,' like a new puppy. Thus, it no longer feels so intimidating and unmanageable. 'I always tell my clients that the goal isn't to eliminate anxiety completely ― that's neither realistic nor healthy,' Pash said. 'Anxiety serves a purpose. It's trying to protect us. The goal is to change your relationship with it so it doesn't run your life.' Getting comfortable talking to your anxiety can also help you recognize important cues about your life and mental health. 'The general idea is 'This isn't me. This is my anxiety. How can I use what it is telling me?'' said psychotherapist Meg Gitlin. 'Perhaps your anxiety wants to tell you that something is important to you, and it would like you to pay attention to it. Or perhaps it is telling you that your anxiety has clouded your experience for too long, and it is time to seek help to manage your anxiety.' Are there any downsides? 'The only potential downside to this hack is if you are not motivated to work on your anxiety, and naming it creates too much distance where you believe it is inevitable and can't be changed,' said Erica Rozmid, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor at UCLA. 'Instead, it's helpful to recognize that naming it something silly can be a conscious tool to help you overcome your fears.' The hack can backfire if you use it in lieu of processing and addressing your anxiety. 'If someone uses humor to name their anxiety but hasn't learned to sit with discomfort, it can turn into avoidance,' Mazer said. 'Instead of facing the anxiety and understanding it, they might just laugh it off and push it away. Over time, the anxiety can build up and come back stronger.' Creating psychological distance from your anxiety should not mean pretending that your anxiety is not important. Don't let a silly nickname trick you into thinking your deeper pain and trauma are just a big joke. 'If you're just saying, 'Oh, that's just Gary being dramatic' and then ignoring legitimate concerns or avoiding getting proper help, that's not helpful,' Pash said. 'Also, this technique works best for everyday anxiety and worry. If someone is dealing with severe anxiety disorders, panic attacks or trauma-related anxiety, they shouldn't rely on this alone. Think of it as one tool in your toolkit, not a cure-all.' Indeed, you should also do inner work to find what triggers your anxiety and explore the deeper issues. 'People are generally scared to do this on their own because they are afraid of what they'll find,' said psychotherapist Catherine Athans. 'Whether you name your anxiety something ridiculous or not, it's important to work with a mental health professional who is trained in trauma reduction to get to the root cause and heal it.' She noted that some people might even put off seeking therapy for their anxiety because they feel embarrassed about the silly name they've given it. Becoming over-reliant on one single anxiety hack can lead to issues. 'I think the main downside is that it may lose its effectiveness over time,' said Nicholette Leanza, a therapist at LifeStance. 'Like any coping skill, your brain may get used to it and so it becomes less effective. Switching it up may help like giving it a new silly name or another technique is to say your thoughts in a silly voice or accent. It's about keeping that element of absurdity fresh so it doesn't just become another routine your anxiety adapts to.' You can also try other similar techniques to create space and make anxiety feel less overwhelming. 'You can picture your thoughts as a visual, such as your thoughts floating down the river or dancing on a stage,' said Ash Shah, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director at Empower Your Mind Therapy. 'All of these exercises get to the same goal of observing your emotions and thoughts from a distance rather than feeling 'stuck' in them.' Whatever approach you take, make sure you're also examining the underlying source and triggers for your mental health issues. 'Anxiety is one of the most well-researched areas of psychological therapy, and there are masses of help available,' McDermott said. 'Finding shortcuts and hacks like this are super fun and very effective, but work more effectively if you understand the principles behind them.' Related... Are You Feeling Anxiety Or Intuition? Here's How To Know The Difference. How To Maintain Your Friendships If You're Dealing With Anxiety Or Depression Are You Experiencing Burnout Or Is It Actually 'Boreout'?
Yahoo
20-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Parents want to know they're doing a good job. Can TikTok's 'toxic parenting' challenge help?
The high-achieving millennials waiting by the mailboxes for their report cards in the '90s are now parents … and they still want an A, it appears. A viral TikTok trend is gaining momentum with one common theme: testing your parenting skills to see how your lessons, lectures and the values you've instilled in your kid have 'worked.' In some of the videos, parents test their kids to see how they respond to "toxic" parenting phrases like 'kids should be seen and not heard." In one TikTok shared by Sunkissed Mama, for example, the mother starts with a prompt ("I brought you into this world ...") and asks her tween daughter to finish the sentence. "To be your bestie?" the girl answers, much to her mom's delight. The children's innocent responses and unfamiliarity with these old-school statements suggest that, as Parents puts it, they're "growing up with increasingly patient and understanding parents — or at least with parents who are more invested in learning how to parent without toxic parenting phrases." A few years ago, it was the "candy challenge" making the social media rounds. Parents put out a temptation, such as a bowl of candy, leave the room and tell their child to wait until they come back to eat the treat. While not all kids are able to resist the temptation, the challenge saw many moms marveling at how patient their little ones were. You might also recall the 'cuddle your kid challenge' (aka the "lap test"), which shows what happens when parents lay their head on their child's lap. For the most part, kids responded with an embrace in a wholesome display of parent-child connection. Big Little Feelings founders (and Yahoo Life parenting ambassadors) Deena Margolin and Kristin Gallant see the intention behind these videos as positive, demonstrating a shifting narrative in what the younger generations of parents care about. 'These trends are striking such an emotional chord because they reveal something really beautiful: We're actively rewriting the script of how we parent,' the duo shared in an email. 'When kids finish those phrases with kindness or humor — or when toddlers calmly wait for a cookie — it's more than cute, it's healing. It shows the generational cycle is breaking, and it's a powerful reminder that the kids are going to be OK. Actually, we're all doing better than we think.' "As a therapist, I get why these are so appealing,' adds Erin Pash, a family therapist and the CEO of Pash Co. 'They're entertaining, they validate your parenting choices and let's be honest: Who doesn't love seeing their parenting 'wins' get some likes and comments? These trends tap into our natural desire to know we're doing something right, especially in the often-uncertain journey of raising tiny humans.' But why do modern-day parents feel the need to prove they're good enough? And can these challenges really tell parents if they're doing this parenting thing the right way? Here's what experts say. The pressure is on for today's parents. You're competing with other families for the best schools, camps and more. Your kids' toys should be carefully curated and made out of natural materials, not plastic. You can't just send your kid to school with a sandwich in the era of nutritious, colorful, Instagram-worthy lunch boxes. It's little wonder that they want to see if they measure up ... and then share the results on social media. 'We are living in a time of highly performative and competitive parenting, so it doesn't surprise me that these challenges are trending," Melinda Wenner Moyer, a science and parenting journalist and author of the soon-to-be-released book Hello, Cruel World!, tells Yahoo Life. "Research suggests that intensive parenting — the notion that we should pour as many resources as we can into our kids' development — is now the norm among all social classes." Wenner Moyer adds: "Rising economic inequality makes it feel as if raising kids is a zero-sum game. Parents worry that if they don't raise kids the 'right' way, and parent 'better' than everyone else, their kids won't have a chance.' Even though it can feel like a competitive space, within that, parenting itself can feel "solitary in nature," psychiatrist Michelle Dees tells Yahoo Life. That loneliness can send parents to find community (or commiseration) on social media. "TikTok affords parents with the much-needed connection to others and the opportunity to reflect on their parenting approaches that are shaped by an intensely digital world," Dees says. That can include participating in viral parenting challenges, though Dees notes that there is a "social performance" at play here. In these videos, the parents are "transforming intimacy" — a moment between themselves and their child — "into social spectacle.' For some, it's less about the kids' answers and more about joining the conversation and showing their (often validating) results to others. Oksana Hagerty, an educational and developmental psychologist and dean of the Center for Student Success at Beacon College, raises another concern: While these challenges can offer "insight and humor," she's wary of including footage of kids on social media and reminds parents that these posts are 'essentially permanent.' While Pash sees the appeal of these challenges, she's also worked with upset clients who have tried these trends. 'I've consoled parents who felt like failures when their toddler immediately grabbed the candy while other kids waited patiently, not realizing that impulse control develops differently in every child,' she says. Parents who have a heartwarming moment with their kids as a result of these challenges will understandably want to pat themselves on the back. But kids are kids — and there shouldn't be any shame attached to a toddler, say, immediately wolfing down some jelly beans, not leaning into a cuddle or not delivering a cutesy answer to a fill-in-the-blank challenge, adds Wenner Moyer. She recommends taking these trends with a grain of salt. 'These videos suggest that if your kids happen to know certain parenting phrases, you're a bad parent," she says. "That's just silly — there are many reasons kids might know these popular phrases that have nothing to do with how they have been parented." Wenner Moyer adds that the idea that you have "failed" as a parent if your child is unable to resist eating candy is also simply illogical. She points to similar videos modeled after the 'marshmallow test' in the 1960s, which tried to connect a child's self-control as a preschooler to their success years later. 'But recent research has called the validity of those findings into question," she says. "And a TikTok video is not a controlled experiment capable of predicting a child's future." Ultimately, Wenner Moyer wants parents to face less pressure, not more. 'I worry that these trends will exacerbate our epidemic of parental anxiety and fear, and make us feel even more competitive with other parents," she says. "But parenting isn't a zero-sum game. We shouldn't be pitting ourselves and our kids against each other; we should be talking to each other, crowdsourcing and normalizing parental imperfection.' Parenting is tough, so it makes sense to want to know how you are doing. 'I'd encourage you to get curious about what you're really seeking," Pash says. "Validation? Reassurance? Connection? These are all valid needs, but there are more meaningful ways to gauge your parenting impact." Here's what she recommends: Watch your child, not social media: 'Watch for how your child regulates emotions, how they treat others and how they communicate their needs." Check in with yourself about your relationship: 'Can your child be authentic with you? Do they come to you when they're hurt or scared? Trust the relationship you're building over any viral challenge results." Presence over perfection: 'Remember, good parenting isn't perfect parenting — it's being present, responsive and willing to repair when you make mistakes. These everyday moments matter far more than how your child performs in a TikTok test."
Yahoo
20-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Parents want to know they're doing a good job. Can TikTok's 'toxic parenting' challenge help?
The high-achieving millennials waiting by the mailboxes for their report cards in the '90s are now parents … and they still want an A, it appears. A viral TikTok trend is gaining momentum with one common theme: testing your parenting skills to see how your lessons, lectures and the values you've instilled in your kid have 'worked.' In some of the videos, parents test their kids to see how they respond to "toxic" parenting phrases like 'kids should be seen and not heard." In one TikTok shared by Sunkissed Mama, for example, the mother starts with a prompt ("I brought you into this world ...") and asks her tween daughter to finish the sentence. "To be your bestie?" the girl answers, much to her mom's delight. The children's innocent responses and unfamiliarity with these old-school statements suggest that, as Parents puts it, they're "growing up with increasingly patient and understanding parents — or at least with parents who are more invested in learning how to parent without toxic parenting phrases." A few years ago, it was the "candy challenge" making the social media rounds. Parents put out a temptation, such as a bowl of candy, leave the room and tell their child to wait until they come back to eat the treat. While not all kids are able to resist the temptation, the challenge saw many moms marveling at how patient their little ones were. You might also recall the 'cuddle your kid challenge' (aka the "lap test"), which shows what happens when parents lay their head on their child's lap. For the most part, kids responded with an embrace in a wholesome display of parent-child connection. Big Little Feelings founders (and Yahoo Life parenting ambassadors) Deena Margolin and Kristin Gallant see the intention behind these videos as positive, demonstrating a shifting narrative in what the younger generations of parents care about. 'These trends are striking such an emotional chord because they reveal something really beautiful: We're actively rewriting the script of how we parent,' the duo shared in an email. 'When kids finish those phrases with kindness or humor — or when toddlers calmly wait for a cookie — it's more than cute, it's healing. It shows the generational cycle is breaking, and it's a powerful reminder that the kids are going to be OK. Actually, we're all doing better than we think.' "As a therapist, I get why these are so appealing,' adds Erin Pash, a family therapist and the CEO of Pash Co. 'They're entertaining, they validate your parenting choices and let's be honest: Who doesn't love seeing their parenting 'wins' get some likes and comments? These trends tap into our natural desire to know we're doing something right, especially in the often-uncertain journey of raising tiny humans.' But why do modern-day parents feel the need to prove they're good enough? And can these challenges really tell parents if they're doing this parenting thing the right way? Here's what experts say. The pressure is on for today's parents. You're competing with other families for the best schools, camps and more. Your kids' toys should be carefully curated and made out of natural materials, not plastic. You can't just send your kid to school with a sandwich in the era of nutritious, colorful, Instagram-worthy lunch boxes. It's little wonder that they want to see if they measure up ... and then share the results on social media. 'We are living in a time of highly performative and competitive parenting, so it doesn't surprise me that these challenges are trending," Melinda Wenner Moyer, a science and parenting journalist and author of the soon-to-be-released book Hello, Cruel World!, tells Yahoo Life. "Research suggests that intensive parenting — the notion that we should pour as many resources as we can into our kids' development — is now the norm among all social classes." Wenner Moyer adds: "Rising economic inequality makes it feel as if raising kids is a zero-sum game. Parents worry that if they don't raise kids the 'right' way, and parent 'better' than everyone else, their kids won't have a chance.' Even though it can feel like a competitive space, within that, parenting itself can feel "solitary in nature," psychiatrist Michelle Dees tells Yahoo Life. That loneliness can send parents to find community (or commiseration) on social media. "TikTok affords parents with the much-needed connection to others and the opportunity to reflect on their parenting approaches that are shaped by an intensely digital world," Dees says. That can include participating in viral parenting challenges, though Dees notes that there is a "social performance" at play here. In these videos, the parents are "transforming intimacy" — a moment between themselves and their child — "into social spectacle.' For some, it's less about the kids' answers and more about joining the conversation and showing their (often validating) results to others. Oksana Hagerty, an educational and developmental psychologist and dean of the Center for Student Success at Beacon College, raises another concern: While these challenges can offer "insight and humor," she's wary of including footage of kids on social media and reminds parents that these posts are 'essentially permanent.' While Pash sees the appeal of these challenges, she's also worked with upset clients who have tried these trends. 'I've consoled parents who felt like failures when their toddler immediately grabbed the candy while other kids waited patiently, not realizing that impulse control develops differently in every child,' she says. Parents who have a heartwarming moment with their kids as a result of these challenges will understandably want to pat themselves on the back. But kids are kids — and there shouldn't be any shame attached to a toddler, say, immediately wolfing down some jelly beans, not leaning into a cuddle or not delivering a cutesy answer to a fill-in-the-blank challenge, adds Wenner Moyer. She recommends taking these trends with a grain of salt. 'These videos suggest that if your kids happen to know certain parenting phrases, you're a bad parent," she says. "That's just silly — there are many reasons kids might know these popular phrases that have nothing to do with how they have been parented." Wenner Moyer adds that the idea that you have "failed" as a parent if your child is unable to resist eating candy is also simply illogical. She points to similar videos modeled after the 'marshmallow test' in the 1960s, which tried to connect a child's self-control as a preschooler to their success years later. 'But recent research has called the validity of those findings into question," she says. "And a TikTok video is not a controlled experiment capable of predicting a child's future." Ultimately, Wenner Moyer wants parents to face less pressure, not more. 'I worry that these trends will exacerbate our epidemic of parental anxiety and fear, and make us feel even more competitive with other parents," she says. "But parenting isn't a zero-sum game. We shouldn't be pitting ourselves and our kids against each other; we should be talking to each other, crowdsourcing and normalizing parental imperfection.' Parenting is tough, so it makes sense to want to know how you are doing. 'I'd encourage you to get curious about what you're really seeking," Pash says. "Validation? Reassurance? Connection? These are all valid needs, but there are more meaningful ways to gauge your parenting impact." Here's what she recommends: Watch your child, not social media: 'Watch for how your child regulates emotions, how they treat others and how they communicate their needs." Check in with yourself about your relationship: 'Can your child be authentic with you? Do they come to you when they're hurt or scared? Trust the relationship you're building over any viral challenge results." Presence over perfection: 'Remember, good parenting isn't perfect parenting — it's being present, responsive and willing to repair when you make mistakes. These everyday moments matter far more than how your child performs in a TikTok test."
Business Journals
22-04-2025
- Business
- Business Journals
Ellie Mental Health founder Erin Pash starts new tech and retail incubator
The founder of a successful mental health company is now turning her attention to incubating innovative businesses that blend technology, retail and social well-being. Erin Pash, founder and former CEO of Ellie Mental Health, has launched her latest venture, calling it Pash Co. Both an acronym for People Advancing Social Health and a self-titled company, Pash Co. will serve as an incubator for technology, social media and retail businesses that aim to enhance social health and aid in forming human connection. Minneapolis-based Pash Co., which officially launched last week, already has announced three ventures that will be released later this year: two social apps and a retail business. Talk To My Face is a social media app that prioritizes and facilitates in-person connection. Caveman to Casanova is an app designed to guide and support men in building stronger relationships. Pot Mama's is a women-focused retail concept offering cannabis products while destigmatizing the use of the substance among women. The company also is developing other ventures and partnerships in the social health startup realm. 'We're starting a movement to prioritize social health as a critical component of overall wellness," Pash wrote in a statement. "The goal is to create technology that brings us together in meaningful ways, not keep us isolated behind screens. At Pash Co., we're pushing the creative limits of what's possible when we design technology with human connection at its core." Pash served as CEO of Ellie Mental Health since founding the company in 2015. In January, she passed the title to Michael DiMarco, but continues to serve on Ellie's board as chair and as an executive consultant. Pash was a Business Journal 40 Under 40 honoree last year and a Women in Business honoree in 2020.
