Latest news with #PatriceWilliamsLindo
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
This 1 iPhone Setting Might Be Messing With Your Friendships
You just had another terrible interaction with your annoying co-worker, so you pour out your soul to your bestie via a long, emoji-riddled text. You hit send. You wait for those reassuring three dots to start bubbling up. But they never come. Strange, considering your iMessage app confirmed your friend 'read' your message more than two hours ago. What gives? Did you do something wrong? Is your pal angry at you? Before you know it, you're emotionally spiraling, casting doubt on your years-long friendship. And it was all caused by a single modern communication feature: the read receipt. This pesky technological advancement may allow us to know the exact moment our friends see our texts or direct messages, but thanks to society's growing need for instant gratification — brought on by our ever-present phones — read receipts have the potential to cause more harm than good. Unless we reevaluate our expectations. 'Read receipts aren't secretly ruining your friendships — your unspoken expectations about instant replies are,' observes visibility strategist Patrice Williams-Lindo, the CEO of Career Nomad, a career coaching service. 'We've normalized a 24/7 availability culture that confuses responsiveness with care, when in reality, healthy friendships allow space for people to respond on their own time without guilt. If you're using read receipts to track your worth to someone, it's worth pausing to check whether you're seeking reassurance or connection.' While read receipts can be a useful communication tool, it's important to establish your own communication needs and boundaries early on. It's on you to determine if you would benefit more from leaving read receipts on or turning them off. (Either choice is fine!) 'Our reactions to social behavior, including text communication, will be based on our expectations,' said Morgan Cope, assistant professor of psychology at Centre College and an expert on interpersonal relationships. According to the experts HuffPost interviewed, it's not so much read receipts that threaten our friendships, but the unrealistic communication expectations — or 'text-pectations' — we set for ourselves. Living in the digital age, it's easy to forget that only a few decades ago, our main forms of communication were landline telephones and letters. The shift to instantaneous connection has been nothing short of revolutionary. As a result, our social interaction expectations have been fraught with growing pains. But who's to say that people didn't experience the same kind of social anxiety in the late 19th century when the telephone was introduced? '[Telephones] blew up expectations of social interactions as they integrated into government and professional spaces, and eventually people's homes,' Cope said. 'In the past, when people wrote letters and waited days or even weeks for a reply, there was often still anxiety, but there was also more room to manage expectations,' said licensed marriage and family therapist Saba Harouni Lurie, the owner and founder of Take Root Therapy. 'People understood that delays were part of the process and not necessarily personal. Now, because we carry our phones with us everywhere, all the time, it creates the illusion that we are always available and should always be responsive.' The downside to having the ability to communicate with anyone, anywhere, at any time means that 'we've normalized hyperavailability,' Williams-Lindo said. That means we've unwittingly begun 'confusing constant responsiveness with love, loyalty, and friendship quality.' Sure, it's great if you're in New York and can immediately reach out to a friend 3,000 miles away in Seattle. But at the same time, 'the instant messaging era encourages a dopamine-driven cycle of quick replies, making people feel obligated to drop everything,' continues Williams-Lindo. 'It erodes healthy boundaries, conditioning us to feel guilty for taking time to think, rest, or live offline.' For centuries, we had no way of knowing when our loved ones received our correspondence. Letters arrived when they arrived, and if someone wasn't home when we called, we left a message and hoped for a timely call back. Now that we can see the exact second our texts were read, it's easy for our minds to take over and create a narrative that isn't based in reality: 'OMG, Bridget saw my text at 11:04 a.m. and it's now 3:14 p.m. She must hate me.' But it's far more likely that Bridget got caught up in something else than suddenly decided you're not special anymore. 'They might be in the middle of something, distracted, or simply not ready to respond,' said Harouni Lurie. 'But because we are trying to connect, that silence can easily feel personal, even when it is not.' 'Read receipts can trigger a rejection spiral because many people equate 'seen but no reply' with 'I'm not important,'' said Williams-Lindo. 'It taps into our fear of being ignored or abandoned, even if the delay has nothing to do with us. Our brains crave closure, and read receipts can feel like an unresolved cliffhanger, making us interpret neutral pauses as personal slights.' Technology may influence every area of communication now, but that doesn't mean humans don't need — and thrive on — IRL reactions. 'Our emotional expectations are still rooted in face-to-face communication,' Harouni Lurie said. 'When we are talking to someone in person, we usually get immediate feedback, including eye contact, nods and verbal responses. So when we send a message and see that it has been read, it can feel like we have reached out and been left hanging.' Since no one deserves to be 'left hanging,' there are ways to avoid the dreaded unanswered — but still read! — text. This begins by having open conversations with our friends about our text-pectations. 'That might mean sharing how often we tend to check texts, how quickly we usually respond, or whether we sometimes need space before replying,' Harouni Lurie said. 'It can also be helpful to name how it feels when a friend does not respond right away.' Ellie, who asked to be identified by a pseudonym to preserve her anonymity, made a point of having these conversations with her friends, and now they have a system in place to ensure no one is 'left hanging.' '[My friends and I] mutually agreed to turn on read receipts,' Ellie told HuffPost. '[This was] largely out of care for each other and wanting to make sure we were supportive during hard times.' In the case of one particular friend, whom we'll refer to as J, Ellie even has a specific time frame in which to follow up if one of them isn't emotionally available to respond: 'For example, J messages me and I respond, and if she reads my response but doesn't message me back in 12 hours, I follow up with a heart emoji that serves as a reminder of support.' 'When both people are willing to be honest and compassionate, those conversations can actually strengthen the friendship,' Harouni Lurie said. 'Clear expectations and mutual understanding help prevent assumptions and reduce the emotional weight we might place on response time.' Regardless of our instant-gratification culture, setting healthier digital expectations in your friendships is just a good practice. More importantly, managing these expectations can go a long way toward normalizing that we aren't (and shouldn't be) immediately available to our friends 24/7. Here are some strategies for both you and your friend circles, courtesy of Williams-Lindo: Name the norm: Let friends know you value them, but you may read and respond later to give them your full attention. Create 'slow messaging' zones: Intentionally respond after you've rested or finished your day's priorities. Lead by example: Take your time replying and reassure friends it's normal, modeling a healthier digital pace. Turn off read receipts if they create anxiety: Do it for yourself and others, to remove performative urgency. Using read receipts can be beneficial for your friendships. What needs to change isn't whether you use them, but how you respond to them. 'Read receipts can become a tool for trust rather than tension,' Williams-Lindo said. 'They can help normalize, 'I saw your message, and I'll get back to you when I can,' rather than, 'I must drop everything immediately.'' Harouni Lurie echoes this sentiment, suggesting that 'leaving texts on 'read' can actually be a healthy way to show that someone is not always available but has still received the message.' 'That is, in fact, the purpose of the feature: not to guarantee an immediate response, but to let others know that their message has been received,' Harouni Lurie added. We might do wonders for our friendships if we shift our text-pectations toward a better understanding of why read receipts were created in the first place — to make communication easier. 'Remember that technology is supposed to help us communicate,' Cope said, 'and communication should (on the whole) make us feel good.' If that's not happening — and your methods of communicating are 'leading to negative mind and body responses' — then it might be time to reassess your personal communication expectations, she noted. You didn't become friends with someone because you liked their texting style. So instead of getting upset when they don't text you back ASAP, showing a little patience and compassion can go a long way. After all, Harouni Lurie said, 'friendships are built on understanding, not on how fast someone answers their phone.'
Yahoo
23-06-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
4 Retirement Expenses Boomers Didn't Plan for — but Should Have
There are a few critical expenses that are often inevitable in retirement, and it's likely that many boomers didn't plan for them accordingly. These expenses are now coming back to bite them. Read Next: Learn More: What are they, and how can succeeding generations avoid these often innocent mistakes? Patrice Williams-Lindo, CEO of Career Nomad, saw just how painfully pricey long-term care for seniors can be while helping both her parents and in-laws navigate aging, illness and end-of-life care. 'I can tell you firsthand: the costs boomers didn't plan for aren't just financial — they're emotional, generational and systemic,' Williams-Lindo said. 'My family was quoted over $6,000/month for quality assisted living in Georgia. Multiply that over a few years and you're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars — money most didn't save because they assumed retirement meant rest; not round-the-clock care.' Many financial experts, including Jay Zigmont, PhD, MBA, CFP, founder and CEO of Childfree Wealth, agreed with Williams-Lindo that lack of long-term care planning among boomers — and younger generations — is among the worst and costliest mistakes. 'A year in a skilled nursing facility runs $115k, on average. Men will spend 2.2 years in care, and women 3.7,' Zigmont said. 'Without a plan to pay for long-term care, the first person that needs care may cause their spouse to go broke.' Long-term care, whether you pay out of pocket or with a long-term care insurance policy, is incredibly expensive, so it makes sense that so many boomers didn't bother. 'For a couple that wants to pay out of pocket, I recommend setting aside $500k now,' Zigmont said. 'If you are single, you also need to set aside $500k. That may not make sense on the surface, but with a couple, your spouse often provides care for some time, making the total cost lower.' Find Out: A common unplanned for expense that Frederick Saide, managing partner at MoneyMattersUSA, Advisory LLC often sees coming back to haunt boomers is inflation. 'I often get the response, 'That's not my problem,'' Saide told GOBankingRates. 'The assumption is retirement will not last all that long — certainly not 30 or more years — so 'I won't have to go through the inflation cycle three or four times' is the mindset.' To guide clients, Saide uses the Society of Actuaries Calculator on longevity to help establish both individual and joint life expectancies. 'What I want is an agreement on the time horizon to plan for; otherwise, we won't have a clear direction on how much money is needed to last, and what the client wants their money to achieve for them,' Saide. 'This process is the reality check moment when I show from 2002 to 2023 inflation averaged 5.5%, nearly double the Fed's 2% target.' Many boomers made the mistake of not looking too deeply into the fine print of Social Security and required minimum distributions (RMDs). Specifically, they didn't study the tax aspect. 'Up to 85% of Social Security benefits can be taxed, and RMDs can nudge retirees into higher tax brackets, triggering Medicare surcharges,' said Andrew Latham, CFP, content director at 'Roth conversions in your 60s can help, but many wait too long.' Did you make a will in your 40s and not update it to reflect your needs and wants in your 60s? A lot of boomers make that mistake. 'Many times, people adopt a 'set it and forget it' mentality when it comes to estate planning,' said Charles Nemes, co-founder and CEO at Nemes Rush Family Wealth Management. 'This can lead to significant damage to the relationships beneficiaries enjoy today, and potentially put money into their hands when it could actually hurt them more than help them. Unfortunately, estate plans seldom reflect the current feelings of those who drafted them years ago because so many things could have changed. For example, a beneficiary may have issues with drugs/gambling/alcohol, or is getting divorced, has a child with special needs, is getting sued, or is in a high-risk profession.' Nemes recommended reviewing your estate plan at least every five years to be sure it clearly reflects your current knowledge and feelings about each beneficiary. More From GOBankingRates 3 Luxury SUVs That Will Have Massive Price Drops in Summer 2025 7 Luxury SUVs That Will Become Affordable in 2025 6 Hybrid Vehicles To Stay Away From in Retirement This article originally appeared on 4 Retirement Expenses Boomers Didn't Plan for — but Should Have Error in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data
Yahoo
20-06-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
How to ask for a raise: 6 mistakes that can hurt your chances — and what to do instead
Only 13% of full-time employees requested a raise in 2023, but 66% of those who did received one, according to a May 2024 Federal Reserve survey. It goes to prove the old saying right: Ask, and you shall receive. Still, asking for a raise at work can be a stressful conversation for many employees. If you ask at the wrong time or in the wrong way, you could hurt your chances. From asking too soon to giving ultimatums, even minor missteps can work against you. In many ways, it's a skill of its own. Here are six mistakes to avoid, along with practical tips to approach salary discussions with confidence and increase your odds of success. Before asking for a raise, it's essential to establish a strong relationship with your manager. Otherwise, the conversation won't go far. 'Before giving a raise, I would want to know what my employee is doing and have a regular cadence where we're meeting consistently,' says Patrice Williams-Lindo, a career coach and manager of five. 'If it's the first time we're meeting, it's impractical to ask for a raise then and there. It's like asking someone to marry you on the first date,' she explains. Set up regular one-on-one meetings with your manager if you haven't already done so. Use that time to keep them updated on your progress, share your wins and make sure you're aligned on goals, including earning a salary increase. It will also give your manager a clear understanding of how you and your work contribute to the team. Do you work for a great organization? Nominate it as one of America's Top Workplaces. Even after you've established a relationship with your manager, avoid requesting a raise in an arbitrary one-on-one meeting, via email or during a casual conversation. Your manager should know the conversation is coming. 'It shouldn't be an ambush,' Williams-Lindo says. 'When you book the meeting, say, 'I'd like to talk about compensation and share the results I've driven,'' she advises. Schedule a dedicated meeting and clearly state its purpose. That way, your manager has time to prepare and come to the conversation with the right mindset. Timing can significantly impact whether your raise request is granted. If you're unsure when your company typically handles raises or promotions, bring it up during your one-on-ones, then use the intervening time to work toward that raise. 'If I'm setting myself up for mid-year, then I need to start at the beginning of the year — if not before — building that case,' Williams-Lindo says. Map out what you want to achieve for the year ahead and start gathering proof points early, so by the time you discuss a raise or promotion with your manager, your case will already be well established. Avoid asking for a raise out of fear or personal financial pressure. Instead, keep the focus on your performance and value. Williams-Lindo suggested saying something like, ''It's been X months — here's what I've done, the caliber of my work and the outcomes I've delivered. That's why I believe I'm qualified for X, Y or Z.' That gives off a different energy than, 'Hey, I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent, and I need a raise.'' Center the conversation on your professional achievements and value. Know what the market is paying for your role and what peers in similar roles (even at other organizations) are making. If you can demonstrate the gap, you're more likely to have a productive outcome. Giving an ultimatum when asking for a raise is a major mistake. Even if you do get the raise, this type of communication can antagonize your manager, damage your professional reputation and ultimately undermine your value. 'This might sound like, 'I need a raise, or I'm quitting.' I appreciate that bravado, but for me, it's a bit of a turn-off, because how did we get here?' Williams-Lindo says. Rehearse your talking points. Calm, professional conversations are far more effective than explosive ones. Be open to negotiation and prepared to compromise on the final amount. Even if you've thoroughly prepared and presented your case well, your raise request could still be denied. If you're told "not right now," ask your manager for specific feedback. There may be outside factors influencing the decision or specific goals you'll need to meet to be considered for a raise in the future. A good manager will explain the reason — whether it's because the company is facing a downturn or because there are performance gaps to work on — and then help you to fix them. Set up a follow-up time — in three to six months — to revisit the conversation. This will indicate that you are engaged and goal-oriented. If your manager is dismissive and doesn't provide clear, achievable paths to advancement, it may be time to reassess if this is still the right place for your growth. This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: how-to-ask-for-raise
Newsweek
06-06-2025
- General
- Newsweek
European Employee Blasts US Work Culture in Viral Post: 'Dystopia'
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. A European employee has ignited a viral conversation after criticizing U.S. work culture in a Reddit post that resonated with thousands. The post, shared by user u/Disastrous_Bench_763 in the subreddit r/antiwork," quickly amassed more than 24,000 upvotes and widespread attention. "I seriously don't know how you guys do it. Watching U.S. work culture from Europe feels like watching a never-ending episode of Black Mirror, but everyone's been gaslit into thinking it's 'just how things are'," they wrote. In a detailed critique, the Reddit user pointed to the lack of federally mandated paid vacation days in the U.S., contrasting it with Europe's legal guarantee of at least 20 to 25 paid days off annually—excluding public holidays. They noted that, in Europe, disappearing for most of August is expected, while Americans feel pressured for taking even a week off. Stock image: An unhappy American worker waits on a train platform. Stock image: An unhappy American worker waits on a train platform. kieferpix/iStock / Getty Images Plus The poster also expressed disbelief over the U.S. approach to health care, noting that losing employment often means losing access to health insurance. Maternity and paternity leave were also scrutinized. The poster criticized the U.S. for forcing mothers back to work within weeks of giving birth, while Europe often offers months—sometimes up to a year—of paid leave for both parents. "Hustle. Grind. 'If you're not working 60 hours a week, you don't want it bad enough.' No thanks." The poster cited France's laws against contacting employees after hours and condemned the American glorification of burnout. Touching on job security, the user described at-will employment as "not freedom—that's instability," and concluded with a striking summary: "You've normalized corporate feudalism and called it 'the American dream.'" Experts' Insight Patrice Williams Lindo, CEO of Career Nomad, told Newsweek that U.S. work culture didn't accidentally turn dystopian—it was "built this way." After decades leading organizational change at major firms like Accenture and Deloitte, Lindo now coaches professionals on reclaiming their power in the workplace. She said American work culture is sustained by corporate lobbying, a myth of meritocracy, and a legal system that offers minimal worker protections. "Employer-tied health care ensures dependence. At-will employment ensures silence. And when hustle is marketed as identity, people fear opting out will cost them everything," Lindo added. In response to whether Europeans are right to view U.S. labor norms as exploitative, Lindo was unequivocal: "Absolutely." She added that, in most of the industrialized world, things such as rest, health care, and paid parental leave are seen as rights—not luxuries. "We've normalized exploitation so thoroughly that people thank their boss for letting them log off at 6 p.m. This isn't hustle—it's harm wrapped in a motivational quote." As for why change is so difficult in the U.S., Lindo pointed to cultural values that prize grind culture, legal frameworks such as at-will employment, and economic inequality that leaves workers too burned out or fearful to resist. Still, Lindo said she sees hope. She noted growing support for reforms like four-day workweek pilots, state-level paid leave, and a surge of interest from Gen Z and professionals recovering from layoffs. "The shift isn't just policy—it's psychological," Lindo said. "People are realizing they were never lazy—they were surviving a rigged system." When asked how workers can advocate for better conditions without risking their livelihoods, Lindo added, "Visibility is the first act of resistance." She encouraged workers to document their achievements, build community, and approach advocacy as a strategy, not just a protest. "We don't need more gratitude for crumbs. We need systems that honor our brilliance without burning us alive." Reddit Reacts Many Reddit users echoed the original post's sentiments, sharing personal stories and reflections on the perceived dysfunction of U.S. labor systems. One user recalled how admiration for the U.S. has faded over time: "I'm British and 52 years old—we grew up admiring the U.S. … My then girlfriend even investigated moving but now? I'd think twice about even visiting." Another wrote that, while American wages are sometimes higher, they come with poor value: "I can get a pretty good life in Spain for less money … and I get a much better quality of life thrown in 'for free.'" Some reflected on regrets. "I'm 55 and realizing I squandered my whole life as a creative working 'stable' jobs that provide insurance coverage … It's so depressing," said one. Others were more direct: "100% correct. And we do not have universal health care, free college, or any other European style benefits." One commenter, working for a global company, highlighted the disparity in benefits among international co-workers: "I encounter those 9 month maternity leaves, all the vacation time … the way their labor rules vary … all these benefits none of us stateside folks get." The viral Reddit post and the chorus of agreement it sparked suggest a growing awareness—and exhaustion—with the current state of American labor. From both inside and outside the system, the message is clear: while the U.S. remains a global economic force, many workers are wondering at what cost. Newsweek reached out to u/Disastrous_Bench_763 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case. Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@ We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
