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Stop These Seemingly Innocent But Toxic Habits Now

It's hard to break habits, and that's especially true when we feel like the habits we've adopted are harmless. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. What appears to be innocuous can ultimately mess with our mental health more than we realize. From letting toxic family drama slide because "they're family" to overapologizing, these habits can sneak under the radar and leave us feeling drained, stuck, or just plain unhappy. Sad Asian Chinese man sitting on bed According to psychologist Wendy Wood, habits are a learning mechanism that wires our brain in a way of repeat and reward. Wendy Wood's quote really stood out to me, especially after diving into this recent post in the r/AskReddit sub that asked, "What's a 'harmless' habit that's actually really toxic?" Some of the responses dove into the impact of capitalism that forces us to prioritize our productivity or rest, while others dealt with internalizing their issues to avoid confrontation or friction. Here's what people had to say: "Letting family get away with being shitty just 'because they're family.' Not really a habit, I guess, but my life is so much better having cut the toxic ones out." –u/sarotto "Not standing up to people or letting things slide when they bother you." –u/Possible-Okra7527 "Today, I stood up for someone after setting a goal for myself that I don't want to be a bystander anymore when abuse happens." "I was walking up the stairs in my building when I saw a drunk guy screaming at a girl on the stairs, making threats. She was obviously scared. I, a dude myself, first hesitated if it was safe for me to intervene, but decided to do so. I told this guy he had to stop screaming. He started threatening me, so I called the building security, and they took this guy girl was really thankful and offered me a drink. We chatted, and it turns out she's really nice. She does a PhD on Egyptian mummies, and when I said I've always wanted to go to the museum in town that has mummies on show, she offered to guide me around in the museum next summary of the story: standing up for someone is sometimes scary, but it might give you lots in return. In my case, a new friend and a personal mummy tour."–u/LeLittlePi34 "Not getting enough sleep. Not encouraging others to get enough sleep." –u/MC1R_OCA2 "Not acknowledging your own feelings as they happen." "Thinking there is something wrong with asking for help and that you are less for it. This applies to everything from work to personal issues. I'm Gen X, and we got independence shoved down our throats hard. I actually got in trouble for refusing help at work the other day." –u/Carmelpi "Avoiding the difficult conversations because you don't 'like confrontation' and villainizing the other person for 'being confrontational.'" "I'm in the habit of saying sorry even when I'm not at fault. Did you do something wrong to me? Oops! I'm sorry!" –u/anonymous-dreaming "Replaying fake arguments in your head so you're 'ready' if they ever happen. Feels harmless, but it keeps you stuck in fight mode with people who aren't even there." –u/PsychologicalDog0522 "Sweeping problems under the rug to keep the peace." "People who have an upset tone frequently but won't let their partner know what's up. Talked to my buddy about this recently, and the tone is wildly exhausting if you live with your partner. It stifles the house, makes someone guess why you're upset, and overall, these people seem to lack any EQ. A tone can seem harmless, but when they have a tone for days on end and withdraw themselves, they're miserable partners." "Being relaxed about all kinds of (lack of) privacy because 'I have nothing to hide'. You open so many doors by giving too much info." –u/Toiletjuffrouw "Having a group punching bag, where everyone constantly pokes fun at the same person." –u/Extension_Winner_130 "Self-deprecating humor. I was told by a therapist when I was going through a period of depression to avoid it because 'you know it's a joke, but you're brain does not.' So it's just adding to the negative self-talk your brain is already dealing with." "Not washing your hands...I've seen too many guys in and out of the washroom who do not wash." –u/WonderEasy7727 "I have an 8-month-old, and I only just recently broke the morning scroll habit. It is absolutely embedded in our psyche to be on our phones. I stopped because I used to get up with him so my wife could sleep, make my coffee, and sit down with him. I'd pull out my phone out of habit. He would be sitting there quietly, staring at me with his giant doe eyes and bed head, playing with his fingers and waiting for attention while I wasted precious moments of his babyhood doomscrolling with my coffee. Now I leave my phone in the room when I get up." "Casual alcoholism." "When someone says, 'I'm the kind of person that just tells it like it is,' as an excuse to be an obnoxious a-hole." –u/CrumblinEmpire "Being a helicopter parent and saying, 'if you've got nothing good to say, don't say anything at all' has given us a generation of young adults who can't think for themselves and can't take criticism." If you have a habit you'd like to share, drop it in the comments.