02-07-2025
The Hidden Inner Narratives Behind High Performance
Sandro da Silva is the Chief Growth Officer at Bettercoach, a triple-accredited executive coach, and coach supervisor.
In high-achieving environments, where excellence and drive are rewarded, there is often another layer to the story—one that's not visible on résumes or dashboards. Behind confident presentations and strategic decisions, many senior executives carry quiet, internal burdens: self-doubt, the pressure to overperform, perfectionism and the persistent feeling of never quite being enough.
These narratives don't usually come up in performance reviews or team meetings. But they do in coaching conversations. In these safer, more reflective spaces, these narratives surface with clarity and power. And when they do, they reveal something essential about how senior executives exercise their leadership, work and relate to themselves.
When Achievement Masks Inner Turmoil
High performers are often driven by deeply embedded beliefs and habits. They strive, care and deliver. But many also hold internal scripts that push them relentlessly:
• "I can't show weakness."
• "If I don't do it, no one will."
• "I should always be in control."
• "I still haven't done enough."
These beliefs often stem from early life experiences, societal expectations or professional conditioning, particularly in cultures or industries where modesty, harmony or service to others are highly valued.
Research shows that such internalized patterns are especially prevalent among professionals in high-performance cultures and underrepresented groups. The ongoing drive to prove oneself can lead to heightened self-monitoring, perfectionism and over-responsibility, all of which quietly erode well-being over time.
When these inner narratives go unexamined, they silently shape behavior in ways that become unsustainable. Executives begin to over-function. They say yes too often. They put others' needs—including the organization's—ahead of their own. They succeed, outwardly. But over time, they may also burn out, feel isolated or question their own value.
Naming What's Underneath
Executive coaching provides a powerful space to pause and listen more closely to these internal narratives. Once a senior executive becomes aware of the voice behind their actions—not just what they're doing, but why they're doing it‚ they gain clarity and choice.
Instead of automatically taking on more, they begin to ask:
• "What story am I believing right now? And to what extent is it real?"
• "Whose expectations am I trying to meet?"
• "What would shift if I spoke to myself with more compassion or clarity?"
As one client recently put it, "I always thought my over-functioning was just who I am and how the game must be played here if I want to be successful. Now I see it was something I learned—and something I can unlearn."
This awareness doesn't make senior executives less ambitious or engaged. On the contrary, it frees up energy. It supports healthier boundaries, clearer priorities and a stronger sense of purpose, not just performance.
Three Steps To Rewriting The Script
If you recognize any of these patterns in yourself or your team, here are a few places to start:
When things go wrong or feel uncertain, what does your mind say? Is that voice helpful—or harsh?
Maybe it's "I took on that extra work because I believed saying no would make me seem less committed." Or "I stayed quiet in the meeting because I wasn't sure my idea was good enough."
Instead of "I need to prove myself," try "I belong here. My voice matters."
Instead of "I shouldn't need help," try "Asking for help is a strength."
These shifts are simple, but not always easy. They take intention, support and practice. That's where coaching, peer dialogue and leadership development programs come in.
Leading From The Inside Out
Our coaches often encounter these hidden narratives in their coaching work with senior professionals across industries and cultures. Whether it's in global consulting firms, fast-growing tech companies or legacy organizations in transition, the inner experience of high performance is rarely addressed but always present. That's why we design programs that create safe, intentional spaces for professionals to explore not just what they do, but how they think and feel in the process. Because when the internal shifts, the external follows.
Recent research supports what we observe in practice. A 2025 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that while leader perfectionism can drive harmonious work passion, it often also heightens pressure, leading to lower performance and well-being. Even the most successful executives are not immune to the cost of unexamined internal standards.
Similarly, a May 2025 Ivy Exec article explored executive burnout through the lens of existential philosophy, showing how success can become a stand-in for self-worth. When identity becomes tied to performance, burnout becomes inevitable.
The most sustainable form of leadership starts from within. It's grounded not just in what you do, but in how you relate to yourself in the process. When we shift the internal narratives that no longer serve us, we unlock a more grounded, authentic and human-centered kind of success.
Not louder. Not harder. Just clearer.
And from that clarity, everything changes.
Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
